Connordadoo

Ha. Just did 300 strokes on the rowing machine I bought myself from tax return money. Only second time I have used it and it feels like it has kicked my butt. Took me over 10 minutes machine time with "breaks" to do bidy weight squats, lunges, planks, and pushups. And yes I feel great. Looked it up, last time I weighed myself was March 15, I was at my recorded worst of 306.6 lbs. Let's see where I am at on the First.

The above is cross posted from the respawn room. I recognize that accountability is part of treating my depression, just as much as it is a part of fat loss, so I am hoping that by posting here I can get that push to stay on track. On the First I will post stats and maybe pictures, but for now, I just am taking it a day at a time and maybe ramble on a bit here, collect my thoughts, and hopefully get my train on the right track. Cheers.

Close your eyes and imagine for me if you can; you have spent the time, done the research and finally figured out what it is that is wrong with you. At least in part. You have been in more then a rut, you have been in part hell for over a decade. You have search back to when you were happy and full of energy and life and realize that perhaps the depression is linked to your health, that the extra fat and wacky hormones that it creates has been playing havoc on you. You realize that you have to go back to being fit again, otherwise you will not just die young, but will lose the rest of the things you love, that which you have not already lost to the depression. But fighting it head on is like pushing the boulder up a hill, and I will be damned if my head is going to be hazed by some pill. I have spent so much time researching how to get healthy, but refused to acknowledge my depression. How many times have you tried to fight the battle of the bulge and lost? Imagine trying to do it with a millstone hanging from your neck, but you refuse to acknowledge the damn stone. I am depressed. Yes, I appear jovial and happy most of the time, but that is when I am around people. When I am alone, which is far too often, I am either sleeping or magnetically bound to the chair in front of my computer. Temple of the Dog described my life far too well so many years ago. I'm listening to that song now, while I fight the tears welling in my eyes, because the truth hurts so hard, but the specter of my looming failure stabs even deeper. How do I fight this thing that has had me beaten for so long, and while I have so much yet still to lose. I know now I have to come at it sideways. It's kind of funny, but when you research natural treatments for depression there is a huge overlap for fat loss, HUGE. Sleep better, exercise more, eat right, take these certain supplements. But I'm not trying to lose weight anymore, oh no. That is a symptom, perhaps a cause of my real problem. I am depressed, that is my demon, my monster, my dragon to slay. I am concentrating on treating that, knowing that by doing so, as a consequence my body fat will go down, and I will get healthier again. Before I was lost, now I am Sisyphus with a hammer, whacking off part of the boulder, throwing them up the hill, until I can finally reach the top. Pray for me, and ask yourself, do you have to attack it sideways too.

Close your eyes and imagine for me if you can; you have spent the time, done the research and finally figured out what it is that is wrong with you. At least in part. You have been in more then a rut, you have been in part hell for over a decade. You have search back to when you were happy and full of energy and life and realize that perhaps the depression is linked to your health, that the extra fat and wacky hormones that it creates has been playing havoc on you. You realize that you have to go back to being fit again, otherwise you will not just die young, but will lose the rest of the things you love, that which you have not already lost to the depression. But fighting it head on is like pushing the boulder up a hill, and I will be damned if my head is going to be hazed by some pill. I have spent so much time researching how to get healthy, but refused to acknowledge my depression. How many times have you tried to fight the battle of the bulge and lost? Imagine trying to do it with a millstone hanging from your neck, but you refuse to acknowledge the damn stone. I am depressed. Yes, I appear jovial and happy most of the time, but that is when I am around people. When I am alone, which is far too often, I am either sleeping or magnetically bound to the chair in front of my computer. Temple of the Dog described my life far too well so many years ago. I'm listening to that song now, while I fight the tears welling in my eyes, because the truth hurts so hard, but the specter of my looming failure stabs even deeper. How do I fight this thing that has had me beaten for so long, and while I have so much yet still to lose. I know now I have to come at it sideways. It's kind of funny, but when you research natural treatments for depression there is a huge overlap for fat loss, HUGE. Sleep better, exercise more, eat right, take these certain supplements. But I'm not trying to lose weight anymore, oh no. That is a symptom, perhaps a cause of my real problem. I am depressed, that is my demon, my monster, my dragon to slay. I am concentrating on treating that, knowing that by doing so, as a consequence my body fat will go down, and I will get healthier again. Before I was lost, now I am Sisyphus with a hammer, whacking off part of the boulder, throwing them up the hill, until I can finally reach the top. Pray for me, and ask yourself, do you have to attack it sideways too.

Rebirth. Getting divorced after years of fighting and being not right for each other. Realizing that today is as good a day to start over, and that while whatever plan goes to hell when it meets the reality of life, it's still good to have one that can change and adapt. Listening to books to help get restarted, and finding ways to be positive and saying, "Connor smash!!!!" Because, you know I got this. There are holes in my heart and my pockets, but I know those will fill as I work on myself. Time, they say, heals all wounds, but who has patience for that. I know that as I work on myself, to be a better version of me, I will attract better quality person. God be willing. So, prayers or happy thoughts would be appreciated, but "CONNOR SMASH!!!!"

I finally got into an old pair of slacks, comfortably, that I couldn't wear just a few months ago. Still have so much to go, but hey did that feel good.

The smallest to biggest changes in our public lives start with someone standing up and saying something. Good on you, you may end up saving someone's life.

It's awesome that you are as far along as you are, and so long as you keep focused on the wins and doing the work then you will see the results. I too have the wacky schedule, though not as bad as yours, and in the past found it hard to fit in taking care of me. Keep at it, your wife and son will be better off for the better you because of it. From my personal experience BMI and the scale are your enemies, Steve has a post on here somewhere about how to track your progress. I am legitimately very big boned and BMI would have me under weight at their high end (though I have far to go before that) and your scale is going to lie to you as you get fitter and fitter. A cheap tape measure and a record of your progress will be the best indicators of your success.

Did the BBWR today at the same numbers as before except I increased the dumbbell rows to 15 lbs and the planks to 16 seconds. I am increasing all the numbers next workout and see how I feel afterwards, my biggest enemy in the past has been being so sore after a workout that I am out for days limping or not being able to use whatever limb so I am somewhat easing into this routine. As a side note, I have been very successful at knocking out most of my soda drinking, it has been mostly water or some homemade green tea and honey.

Last week was kind of a disappointment for me. My wife had to go to the hospital Friday night, was there until mid Saturday, so that ended up screwing over the weekend. Only did the walk/running for the week, and the diet went from fubar on Friday night to back on it today. And yet with all that here are my stats. Neck 17 in Chest 51 1/2 in L Bicep 16 in Waist 50 1/2 in Hips 49 1/2 in L Thigh 28 in I think even with falling off the diet and not doing the BBWR the walk/running and the part of the week with me living the paleo lifestyle helped me lose the 1/2-1 inch. So I am psyched to get back to it and see what will happen if I keep to the lifestyle and the BBWR and the walk/running. Question, while running today I got this shooting pain in my left ankle which went away when I went back to a walking pace. Do I need to slow it down, is there something I can do to strengthen it up to keep it from happening again?

Posted 13 September 2013 - 04:28 PM Overcame two minor obstacles today, 1) my 2nd grader was off of school today for Yom Kippor (sp?) and yet I still made it out and did the route. 2) For the first time I ran a portion of it. Off and on, mostly off, yet it felt good to do that and see my rate go from 3 mph to 3.2 mph, that was something of an ego boost. My only failure for the day is that I wished I had done it earlier in the day and not have to rush now.

The post below I started in the previous 6 week thread because I wanted to get started rather then wait, so I am reposting it here. Sorry, my goof. Posted 12 September 2013 - 04:13 PM I've been lurking here for about 3 weeks and I have to thank Steve and everyone else for all the info and the resources, just that alone has already helped with getting my head right and in the right place. I am 38 years old and just shy of 300 lbs. I have had a number of health scares, myself personally and a good friend die at the age of 50. I have 2 little girls, age 2 and 7 and I am tired of being tired all the time. I have needed to do something and I thank Steve for giving me this place and community to get to it. My Stats 5' 8" Neck 17 1/2 in Chest 52 in L Bicep 16 1/2 in Waist 51 1/2 in Hips 50 1/2 in L Thigh 27 1/2 in The Epic Quest - see my icon, at one point a long time ago I was close to looking like that. I WILL LOOK LIKE THAT. (Except my beard has some white in it now.) So the route to that is being able to complete the 300 Challenge in less then 30 minutes. This Challenge Main Quest - Mon, Wed, Fri I walk my daughter to school, then walk the perimeter of my development for a total of 2.2 miles. I want to be able to run that by the end of the challenge. Tue, Thurs, Sat or Sun Complete the Beginners Bodyweight Workout at full spec. As of now I can only do 5 squats, 3 pushups, 6 walking lunges, 10 dumbbells rows at 10lb (though that seemed easy, so I am going to 15lb), 15 second plank (which oddly enough I could do so I am upping that by a second per workout), and 10 jumping jacks. But I am able to do them back to back and all 3 sets so I am planning by the end of the challenge to up to the full spec. The Eating Quest - Be completely off of sodas and anything for HFCS by the end of the challenge. To do convenience food (junk/fast/delivery food) only once a week. Get more into the Paleo lifestyle. I am going to post daily whether I completed that days task and also post what I ate for the day just to keep track of my food. Wish me luck.

Last week was kind of a disappointment for me. My wife had to go to the hospital Friday night, was there until mid Saturday, so that ended up screwing over the weekend. Only did the walk/running for the week, and the diet went from fubar on Friday night to back on it today. And yet with all that here are my stats. Neck 17 in Chest 51 1/2 in L Bicep 16 in Waist 50 1/2 in Hips 49 1/2 in L Thigh 28 in I think even with falling off the diet and not doing the BBWR the walk/running and the part of the week with me living the paleo lifestyle helped me lose the 1/2-1 inch. So I am psyched to get back to it and see what will happen if I keep to the lifestyle and the BBWR and the walk/running. Question, while running today I got this shooting pain in my left ankle which went away when I went back to a walking pace. Do I need to slow it down, is there something I can do to strengthen it up to keep it from happening again?

Overcame two minor obstacles today, 1) my 2nd grader was off of school today for Yom Kippor (sp?) and yet I still made it out and did the route. 2) For the first time I ran a portion of it. Off and on, mostly off, yet it felt good to do that and see my rate go from 3 mph to 3.2 mph, that was something of an ego boost. My only failure for the day is that I wished I had done it earlier in the day and not have to rush now.

I've been lurking here for about 3 weeks and I have to thank Steve and everyone else for all the info and the resources, just that alone has already helped with getting my head right and in the right place. I am 38 years old and just shy of 300 lbs. I have had a number of health scares, myself personally and a good friend die at the age of 50. I have 2 little girls, age 2 and 7 and I am tired of being tired all the time. I have needed to do something and I thank Steve for giving me this place and community to get to it. My Stats 5' 8" Neck 17 1/2 in Chest 52 in L Bicep 16 1/2 in Waist 51 1/2 in Hips 50 1/2 in L Thigh 27 1/2 in The Epic Quest - see my icon, at one point a long time ago I was close to looking like that. I WILL LOOK LIKE THAT. (Except my beard has some white in it now.) So the route to that is being able to complete the 300 Challenge in less then 30 minutes. This Challenge Main Quest - Mon, Wed, Fri I walk my daughter to school, then walk the perimeter of my development for a total of 2.2 miles. I want to be able to run that by the end of the challenge. Tue, Thurs, Sat or Sun Complete the Beginners Bodyweight Workout at full spec. As of now I can only do 5 squats, 3 pushups, 6 walking lunges, 10 dumbbells rows at 10lb (though that seemed easy, so I am going to 15lb), 15 second plank (which oddly enough I could do so I am upping that by a second per workout), and 10 jumping jacks. But I am able to do them back to back and all 3 sets so I am planning by the end of the challenge to up to the full spec. The Eating Quest - Be completely off of sodas and anything for HFCS by the end of the challenge. To do convenience food (junk/fast/delivery food) only once a week. Get more into the Paleo lifestyle. I am going to post daily whether I completed that days task and also post what I ate for the day just to keep track of my food. Wish me luck.