Hello people,if the scouts have given the world anything (apart from the word 'woggle' for which I am daily thankful) it's the concept of being prepared. Now we all know the zombie apocalypse is coming so I'm getting my woggle on and preparing for it!.
After an intial foray into intel. gathering on a scale of near MI6/CIA magnitude I've assessed the initial threat as:
Slow moving-most sentience altering microbe critters reduce brain function to amygdal levels ie:fight or flight,no reasoning,poor co-ordination of complex motor function)
Agressive-always the last emotion to go (see 28 days later)
Numerous-zombie infects man,they both infect two more who infect eight more who infect.... (GCSE maths tells me this is arithmetic progression,my cowardice tells me I'm stuffed and a zombie in about 5 minutes...oh dear)
Fragile-yep,thats right.FRAGILE,they won't be taking on much in the way of nutrition (too uncoordinated to open a packet of crisps) although I'm guessing what they do get is pretty paleo (free range human) so they'll probably have bodies like crossfitters,albeit in slow motion.
Short lived-due to their low intake of calories,poor personal care and bad ass nerdfitters taking matters into their own hands.
To survive the initial few months of cerebellar chewing carnage and get my zombie survival badge I'm going to need to be in tip top physical condition.My only problem is if nobody is watching me I'll cruise through a workout so I'm going to set up a log hope some kind soul reads this and starts spitting fire at me if I start slacking from a high intensity ass saving workout style.
Thanks for reading,if I become a zombie I promise not to bite you....much
