RedPandaOne

I obviously can't make this a daily thing. I either forget or get overwhelmed. Anyway, I'm back to weighing myself. I gained 3 pounds on vacation, I've lost 1 pound. I'm trying. This past week I averaged 1400 calories a day. Some days were in the low 1300, some days mid 1600. However, I'm absolutely struggling planning next week! I'm currently sitting at 980 calories a day, and it just seems like so much food! I don't know how to add in another 300 calories in a healthy way. My knee appointment is Wednesday, looking forward to that. Scared he's going to tell me i need surgery. I can't afford surgery, money or time off wise. I'll figure it out when I get to that. I'm happy to say that I haven't taken a laxative or water pill in awhile! Quitting weight watchers was a good call. I don't feel the need to take them with the pressure of a weigh in.

I did okay at the party. Had two mai Tai rum punches, a couple chocolate peanut butter bars, like 6 deviled eggs, and the rest was straight protein. The sugar craving started after I started drinking. Monday was worse. I had starbucks twice. The first chai was pretty much just milk, hardly any chai. So I went for a second and got a cinnamon coffee cake too. One of the baristas even made a comment to the other one about the amount of sugar. First: keep your opinions to yourself until after the customer is gone and can't hear you. Second: remember the first. Anyway, it was a rough day but did actually go grocery shopping. Yesterday back to fully tracking and being better. Calorie intake: 1393 Eggs English muffin Ketchup Cheese Turkey Pepperoni Chai protein shake Sheet pan chicken fajitas Goldfish No exercise. Okay with that. Keeping it minimal until I talk to doctor.

Alright, where did I leave off? I made an appointment with my knee doctor. My knee got so swollen I could barely make it up the stairs to my car in the parking garage on Tuesday. It's not until the 19th. Still waiting on my pool pass at the apartment, will start walking the pool for exercise. I'm also going to do my body weight exercise video but skip the squats and lunges. Food has been...eh. no official tracking so calories unsure: Tuesday: Protein shake Chicken salad with cranberries and grapes Mixed fruit Chai latte kcup Mocha Tuna salad sandwich with fries Wednesday: Protein shake Cheese Ham Salami Triscuits D'Angelo cheeseburger sub - medium Chocolate chip cookie Thursday: Protein shake Chicken caesar wrap with avocado Potato chips Chai latte kcup (2) Turkey meatballs (6) with tzaiki Today: Protein shake Chai latte kcup (1) Turkey sandwich with bacon Grain free pretzels Cheese Salami Chocolate covered almonds (6) I still need to go grocery shopping. That's my plan for this weekend. I feel like I both operate and underate each day. I started uploading pictures from my vacation and saw one picture of me and went "omg, I look horrible!". I'm itching to take the scale out from under the bed. But I don't know if I want to see the number. But I also need to know. I'm torn. Going to my parents for thr weekend. So much sugar temptation there. Will need to be good. Also have a 4th BBQ on Sunday. I should be okay there. I'll most likely OD on my friends deviled eggs. And have a burger. I'll bring my water bottle and stay away from the soda and alcohol.

Alright, did not mean to go MIA for two weeks! Week 1: work project was completed on Monday. All clients signed. But I then spent the rest of the week doing the needed in-house behind the scenes stuff. I also offloaded the training of new person to other people. I just couldn't hand hold her anymore. Week 2: vacation!!!! Week long cruise to Alaska. Such a needed vacation. I did spend the last week drinking. About 4-5 a day. While I ate, I didn't overeat. I may have under ate. It was a lot of pasta and fish. Pasta I don't eat, seafood is low on my likes. A lot of salmon, which I don't like. But I was averaging walking 5k steps a day. If had to go anywhere on the ship and it was within 4 floors, I'd take the stairs. This lasted until the last two days. My knee is done. I can't do stairs easily now, I limp up and down. It feels better rhe more I move. The longer I sit the more it tightens up. I'm going to call the doctor this week. And figure out how I can exercise without messing it up more. Bike? I know a stationary bike was part of my PT after surgery. I stuck my scale under my bed. I don't want to know how much weight I gained during vacation. So to stop me from weighing myself and then feeling like shit, it's going to sit under my bed for an undetermined amount of time. Original plan was until Sunday, but I'm thinking maybe I should hide it for all of July? This week is going to be rough between jetlag and detoxing from the alcohol and sugar. Ugh.

Friday: Calories - 1396 Exercise - none Work still stressful. But project is almost done. Just 5 more clients to sign. Office closed at 4, but I was there until quarter to 5 working. I can't get stuff done until people have left. Hopefully that will all change after Thursday and new person can stop relying on me since I'll be gone for a week. Saturday: No tracking. I meant to, but I was in an absolutely horrible head space. Woke up feeling....just down. My friends hurt my feelings back in April, I know they know, but I'm not 100%. So I was going to text them my feelings instead of waiting to talk to them when I see them late August. Sent it to a friend who is outside of the whole situation and she talked me out of it. But I spent the whole day just crying and feeling absolutely miserable. Woke up today and it's like yesterday never happened! I think my work stress just transposed onto that personal situation. Anyway, just kinda chilling today. Started packing for my vacation. I'm definitely overpacked. Now to figure out what I can take out.

So yesterday: Exercise: nope. Surprise, Surprise Calories: unknown I'm going to guess around 1500? Breakfast and lunch were my planned for the week. Dinner was leftovers from Tuesday dinner. I go to a pub every Tuesday and my standard is a powerbowl. It's a cheeseburger patty on a large bed of salad. They messed it up this time and gave me a different one that also had deli turkey. I have no idea how many calories it is. So I had the other half last night. Today: Again no exercise. BUT my knee is suddenly feeling so much better. Tuesday I was trying to stretch it out some. Walked backwards a bit too. Felt something pop, but in a good way? Yesterday I worked from home and kept it elevated and stretched out. Today it felt great! Calories I'm at; 1256. Even at a low number, I feel like I'm constantly eating. I took a risk and weighed myself tonight. No additional weight gain. I'm still super stressed. I called a couple coworkers yesterday and apologized for my tone and if I had snapped at them. New person is leaning heavy on me to train her and I just don't have the time! I never stay late, and I've been staying after 5 every day for a week now. It's the only time I can get my own work done. Tried going in early on Tuesday but of course it was the day traffic decided to be horrible. So leaving 20 minutes early got me to work on time. But so far no stress weight gain.

I need to call my knee doctor. I think I've definitely done something to it. Was kneeling on the floor this morning and I couldn't sit back on my heels without feeling my knee pull and be in pain. I think I can hula hoop without bothering it? I haven't hooped in years. I stopped when my stomach issue (possible IBS-C, but hated the doctor so didn't get past the first appointment to confirm his suspicion). When it flairs I get a pain in my abdomen and the hula hoop hit right in that spot and made it 10x worse. I even ending up puking after just a few spins hitting it once. I also bought one of those smart hoops during the pandemic and might try that again instead of a regular one. Also searching for some pool exercises I can do that i want to do. Today's food (and pretty much this entire week): Protein shake Banana Chicken salad (1 cup) Sugar free chai with cinnamon Chicken sausage with bell peppers (4.5 oz combined) Couscous (1/4 cup) Colby jack cheese (2oz) Turkey Pepperoni (10 slices) Calories: 1273 Exercise: none

I weighed myself even though I said I wouldn't. I regret it, but also don't. I gained 4 pounds this week! Now I know that being in the 1700 range with no exercise means I gain a crap ton.

So I'm still stressed. But the project at work is 70% done. I think we'll have it done by end of next week. It's going to suck, but it will be great to be done with it. I'm not really stress eating, but I have had more alcohol the last 4 days than I have had in the last 4 months. I don't drink much. There are two times I drink: 1) on vacation 2) while stressed. I might be skipping weigh in this week. One less stress. Calories today: 1713 Workout: strength training Protein shake Deviled eggs Cobb salad starbucks chai latte - venti Peanut butter chocolate chips I like that Mulan based one, but something about it is messing with my bad knee. Had my ACL replaced back in....2003-ish. Maybe 2002. Anyway, that knee has been hurting. I might need to skip leg days for a while. I did a different one today. I'll link it below. Pool at the apartment opened this past weekend. I might try to find some exercises to do in the pool. Laps bore me.

Forgot to post yesterday. No exercise Calorie count: 1585 Protein shake Egg cups Mixed fruit Chicken salad Mexican meatloaf Broccoli Protein snack pack Chai "latte" I was super stressed yesterday and I'm proud of myself for not stress eating! I think it's because I didn't have time to eat. The counselor I'm interim assistant for is keeping me busy and is freaking out that I'm going on vacation in 3 weeks. The project I'm helping him with is due by June 30th, but he wants it done before I leave. Which, on one hand would be awesome if I can go on vacation and not have to come back to helping him. But man, I can see why his assistant quit and he's being on good behavior with me. Today: Again no exercise Calories: 1453 Egg cups Chicken salad Frozen chai protein shake Mexican meatloaf Protein snack pack Carb smart chocolate ice cream I ran out of broccoli. And I had acid reflux at lunch so skipped the fruit so not to aggravate it more. But just now realizing I didn't have any fruits or veggies today, oops! Worked from home today. Early office closing for the long weekend and I woke up still stressed. Morning was slow and I started to feel a little better, but I think I started to have a panic attack this afternoon, I started getting a pressure on the center of my chest. It didn't go away until after I shut down my computer and phone for the day knowing the counselor couldn't contact me. And it started around the time we had a meeting to go over open items. I honestly don't think I was supposed to take over the day to day work, only this one project, but somehow I started being given and doing the day to day. I can do this, only 4 more business days until his new official assistant starts. Hopefully she can handle him and lasts.... I just need this weekend to destress and I think I'm going to do just that!

Today's calories comes in at: 1544 Protein shake Homemade chicken salad 2 cups mixed fruit Mexican meatloaf Broccoli Sugar free chai "latte" (all water no dairy) Protein snack pack thing (cheese and mini turkey sausage) Peanut butter mixed with chocolate chips I usually work out on Wednesday but had to move my chiropractor appointments to Wednesday. I work from home on this day and traffic from work is getting absolutely horrendous. The chiropractor is 5 minutes from my apartment so it just works better. I'm trying not to feel guilty about the Peanut butter and chocolate chips. Before it I was barely just above 1200 calories and I was still hungry. I wanted a dessert type so I went with that because honestly it's really the only dessert I have in my place. It was delicious and I'm no longer hungry so I'm taking it as a win.

I am, and I would love the recommendation! Thank you. It would be nice to work with someone who understands.

I go out Tuesday nights and play trivia with friends at a pub. So on the harder side to eat healthy. Work is also still providing food trucks on Tuesdays this month, today was a famous grilled cheese place. They were also offering free smoothies to help promote the gym that's being redone. It'll be free and open on the 5th. I signed up for access. Not sure if I actually want to workout with coworkers, but nice to have the option. Picture of my day

I did workout today after work. Had settled on that I wasn't going to, but once I ate and rested a bit I got the energy to do so.

Today was meal prep day! Went grocery shopping and then spent about 3 hours making everything. I prepped: Ham, egg, and cheese cups Chicken salad Mexican meatloaf I forgot to pick something up to eat for dinner so I ended up with take out. I wanted a burger, so I got Smashburger. Food wise today was: 2 scrambled eggs Raisin English muffin Cheese w/turkey Pepperoni Sugar free chai protein shake frozen Banana with peanut butter Smashburger (single) w/smashfries Rum and coke No exercise. My knee was still super tight this morning, limped out of the apartment heading to the store. And then I was just done with the day by the time I finished cooking. I'm debating on moving my workouts to the mornings or keep them after work. I might give it a try tomorrow. It'll free up time to do errands after work, but it's actually getting up and doing it. I'm not a morning person at all. I need an alarm to make sure I'm up before 10am.