Cazamoline

Hello fellow Whovian Like yourself I am currently a work-in-progress, trying to re-build my life both mentally and physically, and I need someone who will hold me accountable and push me to work towards my goals. I'm a 28 soon to be 29 female who also works at a hospital but I am lucky enough to have the stead M-F 9-5 (or 7-3.30 if you want to get technical) job. I love Doctor Who and one of my goals in my weight loss journey isto get myself one of those sport singlets that say "I run so that I can keep up with the Doctor". And I would probably wear it everywhere. Unfortunately I am all the way on the other side of the country in sunny Sydney. But if you are interested in having an online accountability buddy then feel free to get in contact.

I have just finished reading The Midnight Watch, a story about the Titanic and Californian. I highly recommend it. Now I need to find another book to start...

Update time! In my last entry I said I went to the gym and had a program made up for me. Well, it's been (pretty much) a week since then and I have gone to the gyms three times! For me this is amazing! The first day my arms were killing me from the weight lifting (to the point that I nearly cried trying to get my scrubs off ) but after I went back and did the routine again my arms have been fine. And, on the days the weight machines are being hogged, I have taken to adding some cardio into my workouts. I did ten minutes on the treadmill at a brisk walk on a slight incline and boy could I feel my calfs working. I still haven't had the nerves to get back on the elliptical machine but I might do it next time to see how it goes. Food and personal development took a big hit this week. Yesterday, after an extremely s@#$%y day at work I ended up consuming half a block of Cadbury Oreo chocolate and half a packet of veggie chips. Not a proud moment, but it happened and it's time to move on from it - not work though. Work is just f@%#ed up. But that is a rant I shall not put on here. Once I get myself into a routine that incorporates the gym I am going to set my aim on violin practice and nutrition. I am not going to push myself too hard because as soon as I get too overwhelmed the negative voices start up and I end up quitting, which is not on the cards this time.

Did someone say pie?

End of week recap: Yay! Food: This week I have managed to INCREASE (oh yeah) my water in take and limit myself to the single glass of pepsi max per day. Tonight will be interesting as I have a dinner to go to that includes an alcohol/soft drink package, so it is going to test me to ensure that I limit myself to the one glass. Fruit and veggies have been minimal so that is something I would like to work on next week. Exercise: I went to the gym last night and had a personal program made up for me which is many focused on building strength and toning up, along with weight loss. I also would like to start taking some group classes so that I can see what kind of things I do and don't enjoy. I have done three days of Pilates (and boy can I feel those abs) and I really enjoyed it, so I might look into a classes near me. Personal Development: TBA. That is something I want to get on top of this weekend. I need to organise myself and really set up a schedule to stick to to help me get the most out of my days.

Update time: Day 3 and so far so good. I am feeling pumped (and incredibly sore). Recap: Tuesday 10/5 Food wise was not too bad. I had some beautifully cooked steak for dinner with some potato bake (made with milk and greek yogurt not cream) on the side. Lunch was a pie but I made myself have some water to go with it rather than my normal can of Coke Zero. I did have 1 glass of pepsi max with my dinner before I switched back to water for the rest of the night. For exercise: I did the BBW the night before and it was too cold to go swimming (we're finally entering the cooler weather of late Autumn here in Sydney), so I decided to do a beginner Pilates video on YouTube instead. I am now following along with the Blogilates beginners challenge/workout. Today: Wednesday 11/5. Ouch! What the hell. I thought when I woke up this morning that I was feeling amazing: the soreness from the BBW had gone and I was feeling great....and then I moved. It was a workout on its own just trying to get out of bed. My legs hurt, my stomach hurt and my arms...well, they actually weren't that bad, but they got stiff throughout the day. Today was a pretty good day food wise: Again I stuck to water throughout the day and only allowed myself the one glass of pepsi max with dinner (garlic rissoles in case you were wondering). Exercise: I was really tempted to just sit on the couch and use the soreness as an excuse, but instead I got up and did 2 (that's right, TWO, how amazing is that!!!) Pilate ab workouts + half the BBW workout (I got up to the plank before I collapsed into a jelly like heap on the floor). But what I find really motivating isn't the fact that I am actually doing these things, it's that I'm not beating myself up for being crap. Yes, I look like a seal flapping on a rock when I try and do a crunch or sit up, and yes I nearly broke my nose when trying to do a "push up", but I tried and I modified and rested when needed. And I tell myself tomorrow I can do better. It really is mind over matter. And Friday I have my first PT session at one of my gyms which is both exciting and daunting/nerve whacking/terrifying at the same time.

Exciting news about your FitBit. I'd love to hear how it goes, if it's motivating you, how it's helping you, etc. I bought one and then deciding that I shouldn't have bought it as I wouldn't use it so returned it, but I am eager to get a new one if it's going to help me in the short and long term.

Awe, thank you. That really made my day. Speaking of 'my day' here is the run down: Food: I've only had 1x cup of pepsi max (to go with dinner) and have drunk water for the rest of the day (+ a hot chocolate and some milk). Morning tea was harder. I didn't have breakfast (save for a cup of hot chocolate) so by 9:45 I was feeling sick from the lack of food. So when I finally got to morning tea I ended up having a laming ton and three chocolate-chip cookies Lunch again was hard as I didn't have a home cooked meal (again, lack of organisation) so I opted for a pie - believe it or not it was the healthiest thing there - but only if I had a bottle of water to go with it. For dinner I made a homemade potato bake that doesn't use cream - so I like to believe it is healthier than the normal option. And I allowed myself my one glass of pepsi max. Exercise: No gym today but I did complete the BBW Workout Steve posted on the blog. My legs now feel...tingly...but I feel good that I did at least one thing today. Personal Development: I am waiting for a fingerboard guide to arrive for my violin but I did spend ten minutes before dinner practicing my bowing. And I was happy today. Not ecstatic, dancing-down-the-hallways-throwing-glitter kind of happy, but I didn't allow the bad stuff to get to me. Then again, thanks to my recent repositioning at my workplace, I was pretty much alone all day. Hi Severine That is a good question. I had a general idea that I would just stop being sad and angry and become happy, but I never got tied down to the specifics. I really don't know what it would like. But it wouldn't be how my life is at the moment. I suppose it is something that I will just need to learn on the go. I would probably start but not allowing myself to get so stressed out over small stuff. And to not define myself by other peoples opinions, but to realise who I am. No, not realise. Discover? Create? Day one: signing off.

Hello. It's me..... Okay, enough with Adele (though I am obsessed with that song). It's time for round two (seeing as round one did not go to plan.....at all!). But rather than wallowing in my chasm of doom (it has a nice ring to it), it's time to look forward and learn from the past. My biggest set back from my last challenge was organisation. Simple put: I had none! And I still don't have any, considering today was the official first day of the challenge and I missed it completely. So my challenges are: Food (glorious food): 1. Limit myself to only one (1) glass of soft drink a day. I will start with a normal glass (aka my goblet) to begin with and then filter down to a smaller cup as the weeks progress. 2. Incorporated more fruit and vegetables into my life. To begin with I am aiming at 1 fruit and 1 veggie per day and then, hopefully, will be up the recommended 2 fruit, 3 veg by the end of the challenge. 3. Try out new dishes. This one is going to be important in the success of my transformation as I currently have a very limited menu that I eat from (and it normally revolves around beef mince). So I would like to add in some new dishes and, preferably, some vegetarian dishes. Exercise: 1. Go to the gym at least twice a week. I was brave (used the 20 seconds of courage) and went to the gym for the first time ever last week. And it was horrifying! I managed 5 minutes on the elliptical machine (and this was on the lowest setting). Oh, and to make it even worse: my legs were like jelly after those five minutes and I literally had to slide myself down the two sets of stairs to get back to the car. Needless to say it was not a high point and there was crying involved. But my work place offers a fitness passport that gives me access to a variety of gyms and one of them has a complimentary session with a PT which I need to go to next week so I'm hoping having someone show me the ropes might make it a bit more tolerable. And hey, 5 minutes is 5 minutes not sitting down! 2. Go swimming twice a week. Low impact and it's really going to help with my asthma. Personal Development: 1. GET ORGANISED! 2. Practice the violin. I have this beautiful instrument that - when played correctly - sounds beautiful (my music teacher wanted to try it and it really does sound great). I have the resources I just need to stop feeling so self-conscious when playing and just play! Who cares what the neighbours or the dog thinks - I will never get better unless I practice. 3. Heal myself. Okay, that may sound a bit out there, but it is important. While I sound amazing in writing (I know, right) in real life I am anything but. Shy, quiet, timid. I always say yes when I want to say no. I am that girl who you only pay attention to when you want something done because you know I will do it. And I need to change that. I want to start focusing on myself and be more selfish. And if I get overwhelmed or stressed and I need to cry, then I'm going to allow myself to cry rather than digging my nails into my skin. I am not going to set myself a reward for this challenge, for completing the challenge - making it the whole 4 weeks - is going to be reward enough. And good luck to us all!

Thanks Rinna. Exactly. I just need to go slower until I am given the all clear from the drs. Good news: my fitness passport arrived so I can start going to gyms. I'm quite nervous though so I need to summon my 20 seconds of courage to get there.

Yeah, it really wasn't that much fun. But still, no point looking backwards. Time to get my goals back on track (I hope).

It's been a pretty rough week, both work wise and personally. I managed to stick to taking home made lunches to work for the first three days but I'm now out of food again so I need to focus on organising my week better. The head is better - but I had a bad reaction to my flu shot so I was hospitalised overnight with a really bad fever and joint immobility It was not fun. But on the plus side: I got my new car (there's a whole saga there) and I joined up my works fitness program which gives me access to heaps of gyms in my area Spent in hospital for the most part and then laying in bed But this weekend will be much better. How was yours?

Yum, that's a great idea. And I definitely would love to hear how it turned out. The rest of the week was nothing but backward steps. Diet: back to square one (with the addition of a piece of fruit everyday) Exercise: let's move on... Personal: I have been practicing violin and, on some days, I'm improving. Then there are days when it just sounds like finger nails on a blackboard Still, Rome wasn't built in a day. Time to regroup and prepare for the next week.

Ouch, that had to hurt! Day 3 recap: Not my finest day but it's nothing but a step back. Food: - Not good Bought a lunch at work and then went to work friends place to help her pack for her move so this equaled take away (and ice cream). Pros: I had a banana for morning tea. Exercise: Reached 5,000 steps. Completed BBW - lunges (due to knee pain). Time to regroup, have a good night sleep and start off fresh in the morning.

Today turned out better then I thought it might. I didn't take a home made lunch and, rather than hot chips, got a potato pie instead. But the big win came after dinner. I so desperately wanted dessert (like a chocolate ice cream) but we had none in the house. Rather than go out and get some I had a banana instead. It's a small victory but I am going to live it up tonight As far as exercise goes: dog gave me concussion so I didn't get a chance to do the BBW workout instead spending 2 hours at the local hospital (which is also where I work) But I have got up to 4,000 steps. Not my goal so I need to get to 6,000 tomorrow to compensate.