The NewMe Compendium

[NebulaKash]

Oh, can anyone tell me why above my avatar name it says 'Malcontent'?

And if I need to fix something about it, what do I need to do?

 

Thanks Nerds. ^.^

[NebulaKash]

Oh wow, wow!

This past weekend, I went to Wilburton, Oklahoma for the first time for a camping convention. I have lived in Texas all of my life so far. The only times I've traveled out was with my grandparents. That was to Florida, Georgia, Ohio, Louisiana when I was little.

 

This was was the first time I got to do it with friends or Partners. It was so awesome!

I have never seen that much greenery before...and the stars! I have missed seeing stars without light pollution. It made me cry.

 

I ate healthy and well, eggs, some Cliff bars, trail mix and steak. Oh, and bell peppers and mushrooms. Mmmm!

 

And as for my workouts out there?

Saturday morning:

Warm up stretches

Weighted Bokken Katas x2

Yoga cool down

 

Saturday night:

Belly dancing around a camp fire

 

Sunday morning:

Horse back riding. 2 hours

Nerds, Nerds, I have never been on a horse like that before! When I was way younger, I was led on a horse for about 5 minuets. But this! This was a guided trail with 13 people total. My horses name was Sweetness and she lived up to her namesake. I brought an apple to share with her, because I have never done that before and it was an enduring moment. I can really understand how people can become attached to their horse.

 

We walked down to Robbers Cave where Jessee James and others have hidden. And the view...

I was crying, just spell bound. Nature in all of her glory. So much greenery!

Once we got back to the stables and the camp grounds, I stretched and relaxed.

 

Today's workout:

Light yoga and 20ish seconds of Planking.

I know that I have to be light with my body for a few more days due to riding, I certainly understand now why Cowboys swagger like they do.

[NebulaKash]

Gentle stretching work out this morning, my legs are really feeling the ache from horse back riding. Ouch, but so much fun that I've already started to look for riding stables around my area to do it again with my Partners.

 

Have a good day nerds.

[NebulaKash]

Yoga stretches yesterday and today. Both with some planking and 5 squats x3.

I haven't done my usual workout because the upstairs space has been invaded by family members. This weekend though, I will be somewhere with more space to handle my weighted staff again.

[NebulaKash]

Another happily conquered workout!

 

Yoga stretches

5 Squats x3 (last time with 10 lb bar. Wooof!)

10 lb arm lifts and over the head twirls.

 

My usual space is still occupied, grump, but this weekend I'll have some more room at my partners place. But before I do another workout in the morning, cuddle time with them and, and me continuing on with my audio book readings.

 

That's right Nerds one and all, I have been using one of my powers to tell stories written from others. It is a different world, recording and producing on my own. I've made a lot of mistakes and blips but so far each Author has said the same thing:

 

"Love it! You have a great voice! Please keep going"

 

And I have doubted myself so much that I stopped, which I know, it is a stupid thing to do. Self-doubt Gremlins are a mother to deal with.

Talking with my Partners and friends helps a lot, lighting this fire under my @%$ to go on because I can do this. I want to do this.

 

So NewMe, quit holding yourself back. You've got this.

If you've been doubting yourself in something you have been wanting to do, acknowledge that Fear is a thing, it's also a freaking Super Power! (Thanks Doctor)

And that you can do that thing. Believe me, I'm about to take a scary personal plunge of my own. May 18. May 18. May 18. More on that date later.

 

Game safe and well Nerd.

[NebulaKash]

I did it. I did more yoga this morning.

Yoga, and that was all.

 

It was a restful weekend, but I wasn't up for the full workout.

So, I jogged in place first, than went through my yoga routine. And that's when I felt the weight. I didn't want to do anymore. I convinced to do at least 5 squats, and I did. But after that, bleh.

 

Did I just run out of steam or something? Hmmm, something to process. As well as me getting over some personal Doubt Monsters.

 

May the 4th Be With You, Always.

[NebulaKash]

Yesterday and today I started my Growing Ten.

 

5/5

Planks: 30 sec

Lunges: 10 on each

Squats: 10x

Bokken weighted Kata: 10x

Jumping Jacks: 10x

 

5/5

Planks: 30 sec

Lunges: 10 on each

Squats: 10x

Door pushups: 10x (I'm back to not enough room to Kata properly again, Grump and adapt)

Knees to Chest: 10 on each

 

I'm going to do this until next Sunday than up it again by 5. Building up stamina and keeping a nice form.

Fist to Palm* I got this.

[Sloth the Enduring]

I'm glad you're back and training.  Are you still doing circus?  My daughter's big show is this weekend; we're all so excited we could spit (or something excited people do).

 

What is Growing Ten?

 

Malcontent is a level of rebel based strictly on the number of posts.

[NebulaKash]

Afternoon Nerds,

 

Two days of my Growing Ten accomplished.

Lunges: 10 on each

Squats: 10

Planks: 30 seconds

Leaning push ups: 10

 

Now to straggle through until payday until I can get some more veggies. A chest full of Zil for some Avocados and Orange Bell peppers.

Sigh*

[NebulaKash]

Afternoon Nerds,

 

Two days of my Growing Ten accomplished.

Lunges: 10 on each

Squats: 10

Planks: 30 seconds

Leaning push ups: 10

 

Now to straggle through until payday until I can get some more veggies. A chest full of Zil for some Avocados and Orange Bell peppers.

Sigh*

[NebulaKash]

The Growing Ten is a workout routine I made up with the basic ideal from Steve. A Beginner beginner workout for me. Basically, this is to help build up my stamina again. I do 10 of each posted movement for a week, than add 5 more times until I get to 20. Than next month, I'll start with Growing Twenty per week and on and on until I'm able to do a full body work out routine in reps of 3.

[NebulaKash]

And now the +5 for my Growing Ten routine!

 

Yoga warm up

Squats 15x

Wall Push ups 15x

Plank 35 sec.

 

Once I'm back at base camp I'll add some more movements. I had an interview this morning and it was rough getting out of that comfy bed and Squishables. This weekend I went to an arcade with my partner. That was great fun, shooting zombies side by side, trying to out score each other in dancing games, and cheering each other on in general.

 

When we were about to leave, we both noticed this game that this guy was just going to town on. It's called Groove Coaster and Nerds, oh Nerds, it is CRACK. Especially if you are musical. Ohhhh, it's a fun game. It's available for free on iPhones and iPad, but alas! I am an Android and Kindle fan so I have to go without. Unless I find my way back to that arcade again. Or save up some coins and just buy a used iPad. *Shurgs* money problems. We'll see.

[NebulaKash]

The debate is strong in my head; Stay with this name or completely start from scratch...

 

I'm not sure yet. 

A lot has happened with me since the last time that I wrote in here. Most bad, but some very good things and personal growth. 

 

-I'm no longer in the Circus. For personal reasons, I resigned. No bad blood between us, it was just time for me to make a change.

-I had an inbound calling job and very quickly left that inbound calling job. It was not a good place for me. 

-I am narrating for audio books now and I really enjoy it, like a lot a lot.

-My partners are amazing, all of them.

-I have not been exercising like I should have been. 

-I signed up for a class that I had been telling myself, "meh, I'll do it when I have some currency." 

-I've been writing books, like I have two books currently. o.O

 

And from what I can remember, that's about it.

[NebulaKash]

I had an 'Ohhhh!' moment tonight.

I'm not happy..

I've actually known this for a bit, but it really made itself known tonight. 

 

It REALLY showed itself in my stomach, because I had eaten a half pint of ice cream and some spaghetti earlier.

But I had some water! 

That was tea flavored sugar packets...

 

And there is a bag of Rosemary and Feta flavored chips waiting in my car.

 

On a lark I pulled up Nerd Fitness to read and do some half-assed research about possibly starting over, reseting, all of that re-do jazz. I read the latest blog and it resonated with me as did some others that caught my eye.

 

Then I looked up some gyms and personal trainers around my area. Then I closed my phone and mentally yelled at myself for having Cyclical thoughts about taking care of myself again.

Weird huh?

But I know that others have had this problem before.

 

Where does the 'Ohhh!' moment come in? When I realized that the gym I was looking at was all over, accessible, affordable, within my time frame that I KNOW that I do my best work outs in. 

AND, they have a FREE. TESTER. CLASS.

 

Ohhhh! I should go do this then, huh?

Yes NewMe, you should. And while we're at it, please remember what you have titled yourself on this site; NewMe.

 

New. Me.

You are grinding out and gaining experience points for the New Me, not the old you.

 

Yes, things have been %&@&($@!! hard, difficult and strange. I've even had to just put the controller down and re-read the manual on how to do well, anything for myself. I learned a bit about myself. I know that I can set up steps and gather information to go and do a thing that I want to do. I know that I have anxiety about money and personal awareness and my talents. 

 

But you know what?

I also have chosen family that cares about me, that wants me to call them and to come over. I have friends that cheer me on from afar. I have Partners that love and care for me deeply in their own way. I have a mad/crazy plan to do something that I have always wanted to do ever since I first saw it. 

 

So yeah, 'Ohhhh!'

[NebulaKash]

Where to begin.

Here is a good place.

 

This is going to be another scatter shot posting about everything and nothing. I was let go from a cruddy job. I grump about that because I was actually going to give them my two weeks notice before they gave me the boot. That was, at least, I would have had some money saved up to not be struggling like I am now. This morning, I sent out 30+ resumes on varying job seeking websites in hopes that someone much better will accept me.

 

My weight is still sitting at 250 lbs. 

I reached out to a friend with a product that they swear has done wonders for them, so I decided to give it a shot. It's Ketone powder. I started taking it 2 weeks ago, I weigh in on the 17. We'll see, we'll see. I have still been eating as Paleo as my abused wallet will allow. Not having a job currently is hitting the 'ole depression and anxiety buttons, but I did stock up on frozen meats and veggies, so that is good. 

 

Living situation wise, a dear friend has allowed me access to their spare room in their apartment. Not being with my grandparents is a HUGE blessing. I would be very depressed and even more anti-social than I am if I had to move back there again. It's a constant fear that I may have to go back there, when I really, REALLY, don't want too. Hence why I am sending out as many resumes in a day as I can.

 

And to my workouts? I found a new enjoyment. Now I know that I raved about the Kettle Bell for a while, and it was nice. Nice, but not something that I could not wait to pick up and do again and again. I found a Yoga Trapeze.

 

Yes, I do have a background with working/being a member of a Circus as well as some gymnastics. This thing would be right up my alley. Three weeks ago, I couldn't sleep, so I browsed FaceBook. I found a group topic that was poking fun at this hanging fabric with all of the possible sexual things you can do in it. I clicked the article and discovered the Yoga Trapeze. I had no idea that this was even a thing! I read and absorbed and researched. It was 12 am when I read about it, 1:30 am came around and I had just finished putting in the order for a trail period for this. 

 

What was I thinking?! I seriously doubted that I would be strong enough to get my heavy self into this, let alone be able to move about it in. O.o

4 days later, it arrived. I researched again over the safety and hanging requirements and set it up. 

I. Loved. It.

 

Running was ok. Lifting weights was ok. Kettel Bell was ok. But this?

This was Play. Freedom. Grace. Fun. WORK. I could not get enough of it. What I thought was simply 20 minuets turned out to be 2 hours of moving and playing around in the Yoga Trapeze on my first go. I was wonderfully addicted. 

 

It is now week 3 of what I like to call being Up. My body actually feels like I accomplished a great deal. The next day had its understandable aches and soreness, but it was such a good soreness that I was eager to do it again. And again, and again! For someone who is super aware of how their body looks/moves/jiggles, being Up is giving me such a positive head space about it. 

 

Sips tea*

That's all for now.

[NebulaKash]

It's been raining a lot here in Texas. Not just outside but in my head as well.

-Car broke down and can only be driven on the side roads.

-I was let go from current job very suddenly due to them 'Needing to make some cuts'.

-I pretty much ate my emotions and wasted what little money I am running out of.

-Because of the rain, I haven't gone Up in my Yoga Trapeze for almost a week.

-Because of my current roommate, I have not felt comfortable putting the Yoga Trapeze Up in the doorway because of Anxiety reasons.

-It has been MONTHS since I have even touched my Cosplay and I doubt that I would have it finished by the time A-kon creeps around. 

 

I am not doing well. I am just. Not. And I hate that. I hate that I know that I am not doing well. Sure, I have been sending out resumes, but how am I to get the interviews? There is an o.k public transit system, again, money that is dwindling to take it. I feel like an emotional dung beetle rolling around in my own depressed muck. I feel ashamed of myself. I do not like how I look, how I ache, how I eat. I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.

 

And yes, I know that this is a super Negative post, probably the most negative one yet. Maybe, if I write out all of the crude in my head, it will empty out and leave only the Positive behind. One can freaking hope. There have been times that I wanted to take drastic measures towards my weight, like the surgery type. Hah, sure, with what money?

 

It's pretty pitiful that the first thing I have to attack is my size. Or maybe it's a comfort. The thing that never changes or fluctuates. Always there, reminding me how I'm failing yet again. I feel low, like I don't deserve to be uplifted or energetic. 

[NebulaKash]

Looks at RESET button with blurry eyes...

Makes a fist and slams the RESET button*