Olivia Benson's Battle Log

[Olivia Benson]

Introduction to the purpose of this battle log:

 

I am a healthy weight, I always have been, and this has never been difficult to maintain. I'm 28, 5'6'' and 130lbs. So what's the problem?

 

Depression, I think. Not currently, thank god. But over the years it has come and gone, pushing me around, leading me to seedy places in my brain. I've been too thin, obsessed with a number on a scale, and undernourished myself. I've been at the top of my "acceptable" weight range binging on pastries late, late at night... mmm pastries.

 

And I'm embarrassed to say, sometimes I struggle to be grateful for my beautiful life.

 

Something clicked in my brain 3 weeks ago, I don't know why... I swear. I woke up one morning and decided I wanted to change how I thought about my body. I didn't want my mood to be dependent upon a number on a scale. I wanted to be proud of how I looked, but also how I FELT.

 

I stopped frequenting fashion blogs, and searched for fitness blogs. Guess what I found? Yeah, it was Nerd Fitness. If I'm going to be a little obsessed with my body, I should try to do it in a healthier way.

 

I decided I want to be strong, not (just) thin... I know, I'm working on it.

 

Then came Angry Birds Workout! 

 

My hope is that the benefits will be 2 fold: exercise is known to be a good Rx for depression, and I've always wanted a ripped physique.

 

So... 

 

Main quest: To love my body (for real, really truly, for better and worse) and it's potential, and stop being its hateful critic. This feels like it might take a lifetime, but I'm up for the challenge.

 

And an awesome physical CHALLENGE: I want to be able to do 1 pull up in 6 months

 

 

[Olivia Benson]

First Angry Birds Workout:

40 Jumping jacks

30 BW squats (Too easy)

50 Jumping jacks

15 Knee push ups 

30 One arm rows (5 lbs) (WAY Too Easy)

60 seconds of Planks

 

Current Angry Birds:

60 JJ

70 Over head BW squats +10 lbs

45 Push ups (10 shallow regular, 35 Knee)

60 JJ

60 Inverted rows (15 shallow straight legged, 45 w/ knees bent + feet flat on floor)

5 mins Planks (Broken into 3 sets)

Bonus exercises:

60 Calf Presses +20lbs

5 Negative Pull ups (starting above the bar, full extension)

[Olivia Benson]

February's Lifestyle and Fitness Challenges:

No more than 2 alcoholic drinks/week

No more than 2 desserts/week

No eating after 8 pm

Make more paleo choices at the grocery store

 

Angry Birds Workout every other day

100 diastasis recti exercises every other day

1 Hike or long walk/weekend

 

Floss every night

Be kind to my husband when our babe wakes us up early, or, in the middle of the night... and he doesn't "do it right" ughh

 

[Olivia Benson]

Well February was a crap month for my diet. My workout survived, but woah, my diet was terrible. Vacation, V day, birthday. But March is full Paleo month, so I'm back on track. My fridge is full of fruit and vegetables, along with eggs and meat. 

 

Workouts are looking ok. I moved up to jump squats but within hours had a lot of joint and bone pain in my feet- so I am doing modified pilot squats. I think my bent leg is close to a 90 degree angle, but not quite there. Also, I am doing pushups in a true position now, no knees, but arms are still wide.

[Olivia Benson]

February Angry Birds:

60 JJ

70 Over head BW squats +10 lbs

45 Push ups (10 shallow regular, 35 Knee)

60 JJ

60 Inverted rows (15 shallow straight legged, 45 w/ knees bent + feet flat on floor)

5 mins Planks (Broken into 3 sets)

Bonus exercises:

60 Calf Presses +20lbs

5 Negative Pull ups (starting above the bar, full extension)

 

Current Angry Birds:

60 JJ

30 Pilot squats 3 sets, about little less than half distance to ground

30 Push ups 3 sets, wide arms, sometimes shallow

60 JJ

20 Inverted rows straight legged

5 mins Planks 2-3 sets

Bonus exercises:

10 Negative Pull ups (starting above the bar, full extension)

 

[Olivia Benson]

buuuuhhhhn! Paleo sucks my butt. I just want some cake, and wine. beeehhhhh! Sugar is the hardest thing for me to quit. so hard. I'm making lots of fresh juices, and eating dried fruit. better than cake I guess.

 

I'm not 100%. I still have my coffee with milk in the morning. I'm going more with the spirit, rather than letter of the law, whatever that might be. Also, I've been snacking on pistachios... paleo? dunno. stupid healthy eating. grr.

 

ok on to better news. I did a pilot squat all the way to the ground today, with pretty decent form. I tried to stand up, came close but toppled over.

[Olivia Benson]

Weeeeell, I'm sure it will surprise no one to hear me say the paleo style diet isn't for me. I did 6 full days, but I'm done. I appreciate that it got me to eat a lot less crap and more real food- that is sticking.

 

A couple issues:

My workouts were tanking, I think mostly because I was having trouble getting enough calories, but potentially due to the lack of carbs. 

 

I found it really hard to concurrently push myself physically and challenge myself with a tough diet. I still need little rewards, like food treats, to keep me happy.

[Olivia Benson]

Pull up update.

 

I'm happy with the progress I'm making. It's slow, and I'm not even close BUT, I'm closer than I've ever been. And I'm growing a pair of these:

 

[Guzzi]

Hey girl!

Please don't think that you're the only one with these issues. I think it's fantastic that you want to change your whole relationship with your body and I really think you can do it. Especially if you start to focus on fitness/ ability goals.

You can do this.

[Guzzi]

Ps. AWESOME guns girl!

[EmlyAnne]

Agreed with Guzzi. You aren't the only one battling self-loathing and body image.

 

Also, one can eat healthy without Paleo. You're doing great (especially with those guns), Angry Bird.

[Olivia Benson]

Wall sits! 3 sets of 60 seconds fun, fun, fun!

 

I'm really enjoying the progressive exercises towards the pull up. I've added hanging from the pull up bar as an exercise, to strengthen my grip, and lat pull downs also hanging from the pull up bar to start engaging those back muscles!

 

Because I've added more exercises, I've broken up my workout schedule into an upper body day and a lower body day with a rest day in between. I'm curious to see if I'll be able to make swift enough progress on my pull up goal to meet my deadline. 

[Olivia Benson]

Today's workout:

 

Pilot Squat progressions:

   Holding foot to the ground 3

   Foot free, very shallow 5,5,5

   Halfway down (holding foot) static hold 10s

Squat pulses 25, 25, 25

Wall Sits 65s, 65s, 80s

1 legged calf raises 25, 25, 25

 

My goal for the next leg workout is to replicate today's numbers and do 3x80s wall sits. 

[Olivia Benson]

I'm excited! I started a dance thread in the BW training forum and there have been a few posts! I'm looking forward to meeting some savvy strength training dancers!

 

http://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/45799-the-dancers-thread/

[Guzzi]

Ooooh... Very cool. 

[Olivia Benson]

Upper Body

Assisted (with band) pull ups 3

Negative pull ups 6,6,4

inverted rows 10,10,10

push ups 6,6,5

hang 45s,30s,30s

wall handstand 30s

 

Goal for next upper BW, replicate plus a second handstand rep, plus planks

[Guzzi]

Oooooh..... Love the handstand! Very jealous, can't do them yet. Darn!

 

How's the healthy eating going, you still off the sugar?

[Olivia Benson]

Oooooh..... Love the handstand! Very jealous, can't do them yet. Darn!

 

How's the healthy eating going, you still off the sugar?

 

*Hangs head in shame* No. Its grip on me is so, gasp, so strong. Generally, I'm eating healthier though. Way more vegetables and fruit each day, less processed food.

 

It's working for now.

[Olivia Benson]

met lower body goal today

 

Lower Body

Pilot Squat Progression

   holding foot to the ground 3.5

   foot free, very shallow 5,5,5

   halfway down (holding foot) holds 10s

Squat with pulses feet turned out 25, 25, 25

Wall Sits 80s, 80s, 80s

1 legged calf raises 25, 25, 25

Hanging leg lifts 5, 5, 5 

 

goal for next lower BW: replicate, +1 pilot squat holding foot, +5x3 hanging leg lifts

[Olivia Benson]

 

I created a spreadsheet and line graph for my weight, BF % and measurements for the last 10 weeks and found the body fat reduction encouraging, and the small weight fluctuations weird, but also maybe encouraging? fat lost and muscle gained.

 

I used height, weight, waist, hips, and neck to determine BF %. I know it's not fool proof, but it's a consistent method of measurement.

 

 

 

 

[Guzzi]

*Hangs head in shame* No. Its grip on me is so, gasp, so strong. Generally, I'm eating healthier though. Way more vegetables and fruit each day, less processed food.

It's working for now.

Don't beat yourself up over it girl. Celebrate the wins, more fruit & veg? Sounds like a win to me

About the weigh vs bodyfat, mine fluctuates like crazy too. My weight jumps between 68-70kgs with no rhyme or reason, and the bodyfat can be anywhere between 26.5 - 29%. The weirdest thing is that it's been like this for about 4 months yet everyone says I've lost weight.

Weight = the same

Bodyfat= the same

Yet everyone is telling me how good I look lately. I'm perplexed (but happy!)

[Olivia Benson]

Today:

Upper Body

Assisted pull ups 2, 2, 1

Negative pull ups 6, 6, 4

inverted rows 5, 5, 5

push ups 6, 6, 5

hang 47s, 30s, 30s

wall handstand 30s, 30s

elbow plank 2 min

 

Goal for next upper BW: replicate + straight arm side planks

[Olivia Benson]

I am so close to a pull up! SOOO close. Today I pulled up without assistance, without jumping or kipping. It wasn't full ROM, and I didn't start from a hang, but I pulled up, chin over the bar eeeeee. SOOO close!!

[Guzzi]

Ohmygod!!!!! I'm soooooo jealous!

I can do negatives, but I'm nowhere near being able to actually lift myself up. Not even jumping pull ups. Damn girl!

[Olivia Benson]

Ohmygod!!!!! I'm soooooo jealous!

I can do negatives, but I'm nowhere near being able to actually lift myself up. Not even jumping pull ups. Damn girl!

Well, it's a door frame pull-up bar, so it's close to the ground and easy to jump above.

 

How do you get above the bar to do negatives? Are you working on grip strength?

 

Check out this blog post: http://breakingmuscle.com/strength-conditioning/proof-pull-10-tools-getting-better-pull-ups

This woman sounds like she tried and tested a lot of methods before finding her path to the pull-up.

 

I think the negatives have been crucial to strength building, but the band assisted pull-ups are pretty valuable too. I think using the band helped me make the mind body connection. My hokey theory is that it awakened some muscles, created neural pathways, and helped me realize by going through the motions (in a still very challenging way) what I need to do to get up.