Depression

[Amdhiel]

I've heard that quit few times. I think my psychologist even said that to me once. Then again he's not much of a charmer.

 

Oi! I think that's as bad as my mom's psychiatrist telling her that the best way to get over her nightmares is to get more sleep. Totally not helpful >.<.

[Candace Koller]

Yesterday my psychiatrist pointed something out to me that I had been starting to wonder about, and that may be triggering my depression right now--I'm probably feeling lonely.

 

I've got two barriers to making friends, and I'm still trying to figure out how to get past them. The first is that I really can't figure out where to go to meet like-minded people.

 

The other barrier is a tendency to think that my presence is something I should avoid inflicting on other people if at all possible. I'm pretty sure that this is one of those things that nobody can really help me with and that I need to sort out for myself. I'm working on it.

 

 

I don't even have friends. I do try to talk to people in class, but don't have anyone to hang out with outside class (it's community college by the way). And it doesn't help everything is so far from me (hate living middle of nowhere). Kinda of really sucks being lone wolf.

Why is so hard to find few people to geek out with and to have my back? *sigh*

 

I relate to this a lot. It seems like any time I make one friend they move away. And I have no idea what I could do or where I could go to make friends. It seems like it shouldn't be this difficult, people seem to love me when they get to know me but I don't know where I could go to get to know people.

I tend to feel like people don't want me around when I'm depressed too. I know it's just the depression talking but knowing that never seems to help me much.

I wish I had some sage advice but I can't really find anything useful for getting out of this situation. All the people I meet are typically met through my husband. I have no idea how to meet someone on my own.

 

 

I've heard that quit few times. I think my psychologist even said that to me once. Then again he's not much of a charmer.

 

It's sad how awful some psychologists can be. I hope you got a new one and aren't still seeing this person. It sounds like they may not be very helpful.

I had one once that told me I had never been through real trauma (I've suffered most every kind of abuse) and that being a Christian was stupid and I should stop. My sister reported her and she got fired. Some people really shouldn't be in this line of work.

[kaelvan]

I relate to this a lot. It seems like any time I make one friend they move away. And I have no idea what I could do or where I could go to make friends. It seems like it shouldn't be this difficult, people seem to love me when they get to know me but I don't know where I could go to get to know people.

I tend to feel like people don't want me around when I'm depressed too. I know it's just the depression talking but knowing that never seems to help me much.

I wish I had some sage advice but I can't really find anything useful for getting out of this situation. All the people I meet are typically met through my husband. I have no idea how to meet someone on my own.

 

 

 

It's sad how awful some psychologists can be. I hope you got a new one and aren't still seeing this person. It sounds like they may not be very helpful.

I had one once that told me I had never been through real trauma (I've suffered most every kind of abuse) and that being a Christian was stupid and I should stop. My sister reported her and she got fired. Some people really shouldn't be in this line of work.

My medical isn't the greatest and living far from everything isn't the greatest. Atleast I'm right now slowly getting off my meds now, soon won't have to see him at all. Then, can start figuring out my plan of attack after that (like to figure out way to travel for while). And I won't have to mooch off my parents as much for medical insurance.

[Lalie Fanyarendil]

And I have no idea what I could do or where I could go to make friends. It seems like it shouldn't be this difficult, people seem to love me when they get to know me but I don't know where I could go to get to know people.

 

It's so hard! I am able to make and keep friends, but finding people in the first place...? Maybe I should be Googling a "nerds who work out and take psychiatric medications in ___" group or something...

 

And I won't have to mooch off my parents as much for medical insurance.

 

Been there. Finally managed to pay off my student loans and move out earlier this year. Honestly, being able to get away from my family and live the way I want has been the best thing that's ever happened for my physical AND mental health. If only I could have managed it sooner.

[Candace Koller]

 

Been there. Finally managed to pay off my student loans and move out earlier this year. Honestly, being able to get away from my family and live the way I want has been the best thing that's ever happened for my physical AND mental health. If only I could have managed it sooner.

 

Same here. Getting away from home was great for me. Being dependent isn't something I'm very good at doing (though now I depend on my husband). I'd still much prefer to be more self sufficient but I'm working toward that.

[cracked_belle]

nothing like a run-in with the law to make your depression worse.  letting your family and friends down, that's the kicker right there.  :/

[Candace Koller]

Yikes, hope everything is alright.

[MariahSnow]

Yesterday my psychiatrist pointed something out to me that I had been starting to wonder about, and that may be triggering my depression right now--I'm probably feeling lonely. I have friends in town, but they may not be very interested in being friends anymore--I'm familiar with the signs. I get out of my apartment and out of my routine, but not with other people.

 

I've got two barriers to making friends, and I'm still trying to figure out how to get past them. The first is that I really can't figure out where to go to meet like-minded people. Church is no good--I've not yet met anyone of any age with any shared hobbies or interests. Pathfinder Society didn't work--I thought I'd met some cool people, but they refused to stop insulting something important to me, and that's not a foundation for a good friendship. (I did ask them nicely.) Since I'm starting to get into the flow arts it would be nice to find some people who do that, but I've only found groups of hoopers and poi dancers, both of which are cool but neither of which I'm interested in. I have no idea where I can meet other nerds who sort of have similar moral values. Like...people who will enjoy Zombie Munchkin and Kill the Overlord and respect the fact that Cards Against Humanity makes me really uncomfortable.

 

The other barrier is a tendency to think that my presence is something I should avoid inflicting on other people if at all possible. I'm pretty sure that this is one of those things that nobody can really help me with and that I need to sort out for myself. I'm working on it.

 

I relate to this a lot. It seems like any time I make one friend they move away. And I have no idea what I could do or where I could go to make friends. It seems like it shouldn't be this difficult, people seem to love me when they get to know me but I don't know where I could go to get to know people.

I tend to feel like people don't want me around when I'm depressed too. I know it's just the depression talking but knowing that never seems to help me much.

I wish I had some sage advice but I can't really find anything useful for getting out of this situation. All the people I meet are typically met through my husband. I have no idea how to meet someone on my own.

 

 

 

It's sad how awful some psychologists can be. I hope you got a new one and aren't still seeing this person. It sounds like they may not be very helpful.

I had one once that told me I had never been through real trauma (I've suffered most every kind of abuse) and that being a Christian was stupid and I should stop. My sister reported her and she got fired. Some people really shouldn't be in this line of work.

 

Friends. This is my biggest source of depression these days. Both me and my partner don't have many friends and finding people is actually really hard. I don't know if it's just me, but I find that women are very strange (yes, I am a woman, too). But lots of the women I meet at work or whereverr are... strange. My newest female coworker practically cross-examined me about my height, like repeatedly asking me about how tall I am and commenting on it. I've also had several other women feel competitive with me and go into this strange limbo between dark envy/jealousy and admiration. And it's not even flattering because it's honestly very bizarre and a little unnerving. And then women I meet that I think are cool and I want to hang out with are usually a little bit unhinged as well.

 

Anyone else have trouble making friends within their own gender? Most of my friends at work are guys which is cool but... I miss that woman connection.

[kaelvan]

Friends. This is my biggest source of depression these days. Both me and my partner don't have many friends and finding people is actually really hard. I don't know if it's just me, but I find that women are very strange (yes, I am a woman, too). But lots of the women I meet at work or whereverr are... strange. My newest female coworker practically cross-examined me about my height, like repeatedly asking me about how tall I am and commenting on it. I've also had several other women feel competitive with me and go into this strange limbo between dark envy/jealousy and admiration. And it's not even flattering because it's honestly very bizarre and a little unnerving. And then women I meet that I think are cool and I want to hang out with are usually a little bit unhinged as well.

 

Anyone else have trouble making friends within their own gender? Most of my friends at work are guys which is cool but... I miss that woman connection.

Your coworker sounds like my coworker. And I always know when it's time to get my roots done when she points it out. She questions me about every little thing every freakin day.

 

And yup, I have lot easier time making friends with guys than women. Always been like that.

[MariahSnow]

Your coworker sounds like my coworker. And I always know when it's time to get my roots done when she points it out. She questions me about every little thing every freakin day.

 

And yup, I have lot easier time making friends with guys than women. Always been like that.

 

That's really unnecessary. It's one thing to comment on something like, "Wow you're tall" because I am tall, but she said that and then we talked about other things for 2-3 minutes, and then she asked me specifically how tall I was during a lull in the conversation. And then we talked about other stuff for a while before she asked me what my shoe size is. What? Why does that matter? So weird. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

[Minna]

Friends. This is my biggest source of depression these days. Both me and my partner don't have many friends and finding people is actually really hard. I don't know if it's just me, but I find that women are very strange (yes, I am a woman, too). But lots of the women I meet at work or whereverr are... strange. My newest female coworker practically cross-examined me about my height, like repeatedly asking me about how tall I am and commenting on it. I've also had several other women feel competitive with me and go into this strange limbo between dark envy/jealousy and admiration. And it's not even flattering because it's honestly very bizarre and a little unnerving. And then women I meet that I think are cool and I want to hang out with are usually a little bit unhinged as well.

 

Anyone else have trouble making friends within their own gender? Most of my friends at work are guys which is cool but... I miss that woman connection.

 

I have no friends who live near me. My husband is a total introvert like me, but is happy being so. I'm very lonely and it's incredibly hard for me to get over my anxiety and get out to meet people. It's something I'm working on in therapy. I really don't know how I got to this point. But I did, and now here I am. Wouldn't it be great if we all could meet? We're saying the same thing and totally get each other's struggles.

[Sigrdrífumál]

Hang in there!

Make sure your goals are achievable... and not too complicated or over whelming... A friend suggested to me body weight exercises when I started a couple of years ago... Now that I am fighting back after injuries.. I am restarting with that sort of thing. Even if your goal was to walk 15 minutes a day... It is something that is achievable. The secret is to start small and build from there.

Best of luck to you... and know you have support :-)

[redwoodfog]

Ah, agh, ugh. Feel like I should be partaking in this 6 week challenge, but so depressed and crummy feeling I know I'd probably drop it after a few days. Feeling discouraged and honestly, really tired of trying on the fitness/health front. /endvent.

[Sigrdrífumál]

Hugs!

Don't think fitness... Try taking a walk... Even if it is only around the block.. You are worth it.

[Glacier]

I am so relating. I haven't really made a friend (except one*) since I moved here. I've invited several people for dinner or birthday parties... They come once or twice, then inexplicably quit answering my emails. I dunno if I just *Don't Belong* East of the Rockies or WHAT.

Wouldn't it be great if we all could meet? We're saying the same thing and totally get each other's struggles.

Yes, it would. ::sigh::

(*And that one friend probably won't live much longer. I mean, sure she's already outlived the doc's prognosis, but her condition doesn't exactly seem to be improving.)

[cracked_belle]

Friends. This is my biggest source of depression these days. Both me and my partner don't have many friends and finding people is actually really hard. I don't know if it's just me, but I find that women are very strange (yes, I am a woman, too). But lots of the women I meet at work or whereverr are... strange. My newest female coworker practically cross-examined me about my height, like repeatedly asking me about how tall I am and commenting on it. I've also had several other women feel competitive with me and go into this strange limbo between dark envy/jealousy and admiration. And it's not even flattering because it's honestly very bizarre and a little unnerving. And then women I meet that I think are cool and I want to hang out with are usually a little bit unhinged as well.

 

Anyone else have trouble making friends within their own gender? Most of my friends at work are guys which is cool but... I miss that woman connection.

 

oh man, right here!!  I'm a lass, but most of my friends are guys.  women are cranky and unpredictable.  they are often kniving and secretive and needy.  the few female friends I have are nothing like the typical woman.

 

guys, meanwhile, tell it to you straight.  there's no back-stabbing and drama.  they just punch each other and get over it.

 

I much prefer hanging with guys than gals.

[Lalie Fanyarendil]

It's hard to tell if I have trouble making friends with other women...the other two issues tend to drive people off before any gender issues come into play.

[MariahSnow]

oh man, right here!!  I'm a lass, but most of my friends are guys.  women are cranky and unpredictable.  they are often kniving and secretive and needy.  the few female friends I have are nothing like the typical woman.

 

guys, meanwhile, tell it to you straight.  there's no back-stabbing and drama.  they just punch each other and get over it.

 

I much prefer hanging with guys than gals.

I hate to agree with you because I don't think it's cool to stereotype people, but I've met so many girls who are all of the above. And then I've also met those girls who are crazy partiers, wanting to do shots and take a 5-hour energy to stay up all night. They're probably really fun, but I don't want to do that.

 

 

It's hard to tell if I have trouble making friends with other women...the other two issues tend to drive people off before any gender issues come into play.

It's so hard to find like-minded people. I run and cycle a lot and I figured those people would be friendly but they're honestly not. They want to do their thing, run at their pace, ride their speed, etc, and they don't really care if they leave you behind or anything. And if you show up with just regular shorts and a watch, I feel like they're judging. Cycling especially has some of the biggest egotistical jerks who blow money needlessly on stuff like bike computers (when I already have a GPS watch that shows me just about everything I'd need to know, why buy another specifically for my bike?) It feels very high-school, like I'm not wearing the coolest shoes.

 

And I also feel like I'm a waste of space and I'm burdening people with my presence. It's frustrating and it forces me to be pleasing so people will hang out which often means forgoing what I really want and need. And that puts a bad taste in my mouth for hanging out with people in the future. I'm my own worst enemy sometimes, but I also have to realize that half the things I think about myself aren't even true.

[Lizz]

I haven't been on here recently, and my did this thread explode in a wonderful supportive way. Things got better around me, right now being impaitent again. I have not done anyhting on my list on page one I wanted to achieve, but I am trying to look on the bright side. This is midterms, of my last semeter. In four weeks I graduate. As the holdiays draw neare, reach out to those who may need it. FOr some holidays are not a jolly and bright time.

[Machete]

[VailedPhoenix]

A friend of mine posted something on his facebook earlier today that talks about depression. In the comments of it, someone stated how much easier everything would be if the people that are depressed would just "drop it" and "stop worrying about whatever is bothering them."

 

I honestly wish it were that easy. But his response, in my opinion, was great. He said, "the other - rather ugly and frustrating - side of it is that someone things don't let go of you. To give you an idea, take your hand and hold it for a second, then let go of it. It is still attached to you."

 

I wish more people would take the time to understand its not something you can just brush aside and be all "better". I liked the way my friend explained it.

[Lalie Fanyarendil]

I think a lot of people must not understand the difference between "feeling depressed" (referring to feeling somewhat sad or down) and having depression and assume that they must be the same thing. That's the only way I can imagine comments like the ones above making sense to someone.

 

The secret is to start small and build from there.

 

I wish depression worked like fitness! To be able to actually make changes in it through willpower and exercises you can do yourself. That would be great.

[kaelvan]

I think a lot of people must not understand the difference between "feeling depressed" (referring to feeling somewhat sad or down) and having depression and assume that they must be the same thing. That's the only way I can imagine comments like the ones above making sense to someone.

 

 

I wish depression worked like fitness! To be able to actually make changes in it through willpower and exercises you can do yourself. That would be great.

Depression actually mix of a emotions (mine was mostly anger) like ball of trash that keeps getting bigger and bigger until it comes hurling toward earth/you (some crazy reason Futurama came to mind). I shouldn't be allowed to do analogies.

 

Won't that be fantastic. I would love for depression to be like that. I would of never had to deal with half of what I've dealt with.

[Gobnait]

A friend of mine posted something on his facebook earlier today that talks about depression. In the comments of it, someone stated how much easier everything would be if the people that are depressed would just "drop it" and "stop worrying about whatever is bothering them."

 

I honestly wish it were that easy. But his response, in my opinion, was great. He said, "the other - rather ugly and frustrating - side of it is that someone things don't let go of you. To give you an idea, take your hand and hold it for a second, then let go of it. It is still attached to you."

 

I wish more people would take the time to understand its not something you can just brush aside and be all "better". I liked the way my friend explained it.

 

I once had an argument that consisted of "walking hurts" "no it doesn't, I walk all the time."  They just couldn't acknowledge that someone was painfully struggling with something that was a non-issue to them.

 

I try to remember to say "bummed" instead of depressed because what I have can be shrugged off with the right motivation.

[Machete]

I've been so used to being miserable that I kind of miss it right now. It's not like I'm feeling motivated at the moment or anything, but without having a reason to be sad, it just feels empty. Lonely. At least with something to fight against my mind can get to work.

 

Misery is easy. Happiness takes effort.