Phayze: Origins

[Phayze]

So, this crazy thing happened at work

the other day, right? There I am, mild-mannered public works employee, minding my own business, when out of nowhere I slip in a neglected puddle of chemicals and crash into this stack of plastic drums. I was flailing wildly as I went down and somehow managed to grab onto an electrical conduit... which promptly broke, pieces of it tearing free from the wall it was anchored to (damned low-bid construction contracts...), exposing a length of high voltage wire that dropped into the middle of the wreckage.

I’m a little fuzzy on the details, really, but I had some seriously trippy dreams and woke up a while later. The first thing I noticed was the weird smell. Kind of a cross between overcooked meat, burned hair, and ozone. Not pleasant. Next I noticed the sound. You know that sound the jacob’s ladder made in science class? Yeah, that sound. It was really close, too, which was especially unsettling because in that exact moment I wasn’t entirely sure what chemicals composed the puddle that I was lying in, so I was left wondering if they felt particularly conductive.

I sucked it up and opened my eyes, and that’s when things got really weird. The first thing I saw was my own hand, though it took me a few seconds to recognize it on account of the iridescent blue arcs traveling casually across the spaces between my fingers. I made a fist and opened it, shook my hand like crazy, then completely freaked out and punched one of the barrels, though instead of sending it rolling away, the current in my hand was generating enough heat to burn a hole straight through it. Good thing it was already empty!

So, here I am, all charged up with no place to go. I haven’t figured out exactly what my new super-electrocution powers are capable of just yet, but I’ve got a few ideas for how I should I try to develop them before I get all gung-ho about wearing tights and fighting crime.

For starters, I’ve got the power output of a slightly-more-dangerous-than-usual bug zapper, so that means I’m going to have to get in close to anybody that needs a good zappin’. If I had to choose between being a Fragile Speedster or a Mighty Glacier, I’d pick Lightning Bruiser, but a hero’s gotta start somewhere, so for now I’ll double down on the agility and build up my work-capacity to make sure I can go the distance against a couple of street toughs without having to ask for a time out halfway through.

For the next several weeks, I’m going to be all about the HIIT - 20 minutes, three times a week of serious, hot blooded, self-inflicted pain. If I'm not lying on the floor begging for the Reaper at the end, then I'm not doing it right. I’ll split it up with breakdance practice (it’ll be great for developing my Confusion Fu) and round it all off with daily meditation practice to help get in touch with my inner dynamo so I can better control the flow of this strange energy.

If I'm lucky, this plan might do something about my stubborn squishiness around the middle, but the real issue is how do I make my hair stop standing on end!?

Let’s get heroic!

EDIT: realized way too late that a paragraph got mangled somehow, so I fixed the part about the arcing between my fingers. Oopsie! ^^;

[Phayze]

In recovery/warm-up mode until Sunday. Then the pain starts!

7/24: moderate intensity clubbell circuit (subbed 10# sledge hammer because I’m too cheap to buy a clubbell).

7/25: Rest Day

7/26: Rest Day

[Phayze]

7/27: “I am Supermanâ€

Jump Squat x 8

Ring Row x 8 (incline)

Pushup x 8

Ring Knee Tucks x 8 ("dip position")

Completed 9 Rounds in 15:00...

... then died.

6:00 stretch

10:00 meditation

[Phayze]

Add 1/2 mile run/walk with my trusty sidekick, Thunder Dog, to yesterday's tally.

[Phayze]

7/28: Well, I was going to breakdance tonight, but it seems that some discomfort that I thought was just an over-stretched inner thigh muscle was probably more like a minor muscle pull. I tried to throw a 2-step and hit the floor screaming for moma in a very undignified way.

I don’t think it’s all that bad, but it’ll probably be in my best interests to rest it for now, and make it a point to avoid much leg work in tomorrow’s workout.

I’m off to a not-especially-heroic start here...

6:00 stretch

10:00 meditation

1/2 mile jog/walk with Thunder Dog

[Phayze]

7/29: The leg is feeling better today, but I’m still going to try being careful with it. I’m fine as long as I walk in straight lines, but rapid changes in direction end badly.

1:00 dumbbell swing (32.5#)

1:00 ring row (inclined, but explosive)

1:00 dive bomber pushups (switched to Hindus at some point to get more reps)

1:00 ankle hop

1:00 freestyle top rocks

Repeat 4x for 20:00 total, as fast as possible with minimal rest

10:00 meditation

1/2 mile run/walk with Thunder Dog. I’m trying to walk a little less each time we do this in the hopes of getting over my running aversion, even if it’s only by a little.

[Phayze]

7/30: I don’t have a good excuse, I just let some weird schedule stuff throw me off and thought “oh well, I’ll just read instead.†Made good progress on one of my challenge goals, at least.

1/2 mile run/walk

7/31: Makeup Day!

15:00 breakdance practice (still being a little careful with the muscle pull, but I think it’s fine now). I also (accidentally) invented the “Bboy Burpeeâ€: Start from standing, drop into a squat,

with the left, then with the right, jump out to plank pose, pushup, jump back to squatting, jump squat.

I Can Do Anything

8x Squat Thrust

8x Crunchy Frog

8x Pike PU

8x Reverse Hyper (on a countertop)

Completed 7 rounds in 15:00, though I’ll admit that I conked with a little less 2:00 left on the clock. My hip flexors are no longer speaking to me.

I really want a medball for doing slams... if I can get my hands on a cheap soccer/basketball, I’m gonna make one. Just need some time to go yard-saling.

10:00 meditation

1/2 mile run/walk

8/1 and 8/2: “Rest daysâ€, though I don’t expect to get much rest. I’ve got to get some work done around the house before the appraiser comes on Tuesday! o_o

[Phayze]

8/3:

Answers from the Great Beyond

8x Crossover Mountain Climbers (L+R=1 rep)

8x Pulse ups

8x 1-Arm DB Snatch (20#, R then L)

8x Bench Dip

Completed 6.5 rounds in 15:00 minutes

Was considerably more leisurely in pace than I’d intended, but that potato I had for an afternoon snack was considerably larger than I had at first estimated. Feeling a little barfy right now, to be honest, but I think I’ll make it.

5:00 Stretch - special attention to hip flexors and pecs

10:00 meditation

1/2 mile run/walk

My normal shoes are a casual safety-toe affair (for occupational reasons), so I was extremely pleased to have unearthed an old pair of slip-on gym shoes over the weekend. These I promptly added to my workout gear, and upon experimentation found that they were, in fact, endowed with DEX +2 enchantment. I popped a few bboy moves to test them out and thought I was going to launch into orbit! o_0

8/4: 20:00+ Bdance. Surprising, but I got a twinge or two out of the muscle I pulled last week. Nothing to worry about, but I still need to keep the 2-steps to a minimum, which is a bummer because they’re really fun.

5:00 “foam roller†(actually it’s a piece of 3†PVC pipe. Don’t tell.)

10:00 meditation

1/2 mile run/walk

[Phayze]

8/5

Tested out the Ninja Mobility warmup that the Rebel Leader blogged this week. I did it in about 4:30, which isn’t so long as I thought It might end up being. I think I’m going to start using this (or some customized variation on it) before my workouts and b-dance sessions. I think it’s time I took the issue of warmups and mobility a bit more seriously.

Technically, this is a workout day so I should be torturing myself with some brutally unforgiving circuit training, but I’m really feeling ragged from lots of physical and mental stresses that I’ve been dealing with this past week or two, so I took tonight off. Hoping to get some real sleep tonight and come back swingin' tomorrow.

1/2 mile run/walk, because the dog would never forgive me if I didn’t.

[Phayze]

8/5

Ninja Mobility Warmup

20:00 Breakdance, foot work mainly. Fun, but knees are doing some complaining now that I'm done.

5:00+ stretch

10:00 Meditation

1/2 mile run/walk

I have nothing clever to say

[Phayze]

8/7

Ninja Mobility Warmup (commencing the modification sequence)

Wings on Our Feet

1:00 dumbbell swing (32.5#)

1:00 ring row (inclined, explosive)

1:00 hindu pushups

1:00 ankle hop

1:00 freestyle top rocks

Repeat 4x for 20:00 total, as fast as possible with minimal rest. I really, really, didn’t want to do round 4, but I did anyway...

5:00+ stretch

10:00 Meditation

1/2 mile run/walk

I’m going to trim down the ninja mobility thing a bit, partly to save time and part just because it’s easier to remember “do 5 of each thing†than to remember which are 5s and which are tens. I might try combining a few things (i.e. wrist circles and head circles simultaneously) to improve the efficiency. All of this is because I’m probably going to start adding stuff into it after I’ve worked a few kinks out of this new posture+ routine I’ve been playing with.

8/8 and 8/9: rest days. See you Sunday!

[Phayze]

8/10

My pullup bar tried to kill me last night during my PLPs, so I’m feeling a little crappy today. Not as bad I was afraid I might feel, but not as good as I might have hoped.

-Did a slightly-abbreviated Ninja Mobility warmup, then tried out a couple rounds of my new Posture+ routine and finished with some time abusing myself with a newly crafted “peanut†made from two dog toys and an old sock (total cost: $1.69, plus tax). All of this went down pretty well, and I think I’ve got a solid plan for integrating these things into my current program.

-1/2 mile run/walk

Also, I’ve been doing some strategizing. I really wanted to get into a periodization scheme so that I could focus on particular strength qualities without getting dragged down by the violent combination of my Superman Complex and obsessive need to maximize my versatility. I think I’ve partially reconsidered that, and in order to help preserve my strength gains earned so far, I’m going to do 1 strength workout per week, plus 2 HIITs. Still focusing on conditioning, just not exclusively. At some point, I’ll probably invert that ratio, at least until I feel like I can handle working out more than 3 times per week.

[Phayze]

8/12: Strength Day!

-Mobility Warmup

-Prototype Boy

6/5/5 Ring Dips

8/8/8 Decline Ring Rows, 1 foot elevated Level Up!

8/8/8 Decline Diamond Pushups Level Up!

8/8/6 Straight Leg Raises (support position) So close...

8/8/8 Decline Diamond Pike Pushups Level Up!

8/8/8 Bulgarian Split Squat Level Up!

So, this is basically StartBodyWeight.com, but just for kicks I tried something special (hence the “prototype†thing). I used my HIIT timer to set this up circuit-style. 2:00 for each move (used the remaining time to rest and/or adjust my rings) then 3:00 rest at the end, repeat 3x. I intentionally left off pullups because I’m doing PLP, which has already made my arm tendons kind of irritable.

Two things occured to me during this workout. 1) I need to shorten the intervals a bit. I was resting 1:30 or so between each move, and it was making the workout drag (though I did try to use the time intelligently by doing dynamic stretches and what-not). I’ll try 1:45 next time, but I expect 1:30 is probably where I’ll end up. 2) I went into this feeling kind of down, mostly just interested in testing it out to have something to do, and I came out of it feeling amazed at how much stronger I am than I was expecting to be. o_0

-5:00 stretch

-1/2 mile run/walk

[Phayze]

-20:00 Breakdancing

So many distractions today... forgot to warm up, forgot to stretch, forfeit my meditation to a surprise visit, and thunder dog wouldn't come when I called for her to come run with me.

Haven’t been sleeping enough lately, and it’s affecting my concentration, big time

[Phayze]

Making up for a backlog today.

8/18:

-Mobilty warmup

-20:00 Breakdance

-5:00 Stretch

-1/2 mile walk/run

8/19:

-Mobility warmup

-Nothing else

-Even the dog was too tired to run today.

8/20:

-20:00 Breakdance

-5:00 Stretch

-10:00 Meditation

-1/2 Mile run/walk

[Phayze]

8/21:

-Mobilty warmup

-I Can Do Anything

8x Squat Thrust

8x Crunchy Frog

8x Pike PU

8x Reverse Hyper (on a tabletop)

Completed 8 rounds in 15:00 (+1 round from last time!)

-5:00 Stretch

-10:00 Meditation

-1/2 Mile run/walk

Also started writing out an actual training plan for my breakdancing practice (Thanks, Vincanity!). I’ve mostly just sort of flopped around, playing with different moves, but I think I’ve gone as far as I’m going to go like that. The playtime is fun, and I intend to keep it as a part of my routine, but I need more structure if I’m going to progress.

8/22 and 8/23: Rest Days! See you Sunday.

[House]

I have nothing clever to say

 

This is how I feel reading your log! Lots of awesome details in here. 

 

What type of dog do you have?

[Phayze]

Thanks! Tracking = improving, right? I hope it does, anyway...

She's a black lab/whippet mix. Lanky, dopey and absurdly loveable - the perfect sidekick, I'd say.

[House]

Thanks! Tracking = improving, right? I hope it does, anyway...

She's a black lab/whippet mix. Lanky, dopey and absurdly loveable - the perfect sidekick, I'd say.

 

Well, tracking doesn't necessary equal improving. But it'll help you to see what you need to do to improve!

 

Improving = Effort. You get out what you put in . So put it all in!

[Phayze]

Aye, SIR!

8/24:

-Mobilty warmup

-Prototype Boy 2.0

7/7/5 Ring Dips

5/5/5 Incline 1-Arm Pushups (steps)

7/7/5 Straight Leg Raises (ring support position)

8/8/8 Decline Pike Pushups (head to hands)

6/6/4 Beginner Shrimp Squat

3/2/2 Half Tuck Front Lever Ring Rows

-6:00 Stretch

-1/2 Mile run/walk

Tried doing tuck front lever rows on my straight bar, and it went fairly well if I swung my legs up into the tuck. This move was friggin’ impossible on the rings. o_0 I’ve always known that rings are harder than bars, but holy crap! Modified Mikroft’s method and put a chair under my rings so I could lay on it and tuck up before pulling - it was ugly, but I got up there.

I’m impressed by my performance with the decline pikes, because I was doing really badly with full ROM on the diamond variation of that move. Next week, I’ll try them again, with a strict focus on depth and form.

[Phayze]

8/25:

-Confusion Fu

6:00 Top rocks

2:00 Stretch

5:00 Power moves

12:00 Footwork

Total: 25:00 Dance practice

-untimed torture session on the mobility peanut.

-1/2 Mile run/walk

Experimenting with a more regimented bdance training, as mentioned earlier. After trying for sets of 10+ of several footwork moves, my hands were ready to just fall off and die. I’ll need to build up some conditioning there.

[Phayze]

8/26:

-15:00(ish) of moderate shovelglove/clubbell action

-1/2 Mile run/walk

Had a really messed up day, schedule-wise, so I was pretty far out of my usual groove.

8/27

-Mobility Warmup

-Confusion Fu + 5:00 freestyle practice for cooldown (now a regular feature)

-Peanut torture.

-Untimed stretching

-1/2 Mile run/walk

This new bdance plan is starting to feel suspiciously like a conditioning workout...

[Phayze]

8/28

-Mobility Warmup

-I am, I am Superman

1:00 dumbbell swing (32.5#)

1:00 ring row (inclined, explosive)

1:00 Hindu pushups

1:00 ankle hop

1:00 freestyle top rocks

Repeat 2x for 10:00 total

Haven't been sleeping well at all lately. Can't get to sleep, then I wake up early. Most distressing. :/

-6:00 pvc roller

-10:00 Meditation

-1/2 Mile run/walk

8/29, 8/30, 8/31: Rest days! Happy Labor Day, and all that.

9/1: Starting a recovery week today (possibly a recovery fortnight, but we'll see)

-Mobility Warmup

-Posture+

5x Wall slides

5x Prone Y Extension (rep = 5-10s hold).

3x Lunge stretch for psoas and quad (rep = 5-10s hold)

5x Door Stretch for Pecs (rep = 5-10s hold)

-Untimed peanut attack

-10:00 Meditation

-1/2 Mile run/walk

[Phayze]

9/2

-Untimed stretching

-1/2 Mile run/walk

9/3

-1/2 Mile run/walk

9/4

-Untimed stretching

-1/2 Mile run/walk

[Phayze]

9/5, 9/6: rest days. Wait, isn't that what I've been doing all week!?

9/7 Starting a "warmup week" before going all out with my next phase.

-15:00 moderate shovelglove.

-1/2 Mile run/walk

9/8

-Mobility Warmup

-15:00 Breakdance playtime

-6:00+ Stretch/peanut massage (that just sounds bad...>_>)

-10:00 meditation

-1/2 Mile run/walk

Easing into serious mode.

9/9

-mobility warm-up

-6:00 Stretch

-10:00 meditation

-1/2 Mile run/walk

9/10

-sweet, sweet oblivion.

-1/2 Mile run/walk

9/11

-I.... forgot. ><;