I AM THE PAN.

[Firelion]

Hey all, just wanted to introduce myself and give you a little bit of info about why I'm here.

First things first. I am 28 years old, 5' 11", 185 lbs, married to the love of my life, and we have 2 awesome kids together (ages 7 and 2). I have a semi-sedentary lifestyle (as much as you can with 2 young kids), and unfortunately also have a job where I sit at a desk for 80% of my workday, which has worn on me considerably. I have very poor posture, very little energy, I eat like a 10-year-old, and I feel worse about myself now than I ever have in my life, but I didn't really realize how bad I was getting until recently.

About 8 years ago, through some random YouTube video searching, I found clips from one of my favorite crappy movies that they showed on the "afternoon matinee" on one of our local television stations when I was a kid, "Only The Strong". For those who don't know, it's a cheesy martial arts flick from the early 90s about an ex-Green Beret who learns a martial art when stationed in Brazil, and when he leaves the military, he returns to his home to find that the local high school has been overrun with gang activity, so he becomes a teacher to teach martial arts to troubled kids, and ends up getting into confrontations with the local gangs. It sucks, watch it if you really want to, I guess I always thought the martial arts in this movie were pretty cool... Capoeira, they called it. I looked it up, searched for more YouTube videos, read more about it, and FELL IN LOVE WITH IT. I wanted to do Capoeira so badly that I immediately started searching for classes, but couldn't find any nearby. I tried to learn on my own through books and videos with very little success, but I kept trying. At this point, I was 21 years old, single, no kids, weighed 140 lbs, worked a labor job, and was in the best shape of my life (which still wasn't saying much, but hey).

Fast forward to about a year ago. 2 kids, promotions, married life... And I still never stopped enjoying capoeira. I kept watching videos, learning the songs and the language (capoeira is very musically-fueled art), and searching for classes, hoping that someone had come out from the underground and started advertising classes at the local YMCA or something. A Meetup group. Anything. And I found one, finally, within an hour of my home! So I got excited, contacted the instructor, and started classes. I walked out of every class soaked with sweat, my arms and legs felt like rubber, and I was so exhausted that my drives back home were difficult due to the fact that sleep was pulling at my eyelids. But it felt great!

Well, at first, anyway.

It's been a year now, and I recently dropped out of classes because, well, I suck at it. I am not improving, in fact, I'm getting worse. And this is simply attributed to the fact that I am not in good enough shape to do the art that I love. In fact, I was in much worse shape than I imagined myself being. I pretended that since I could, oh, say, run a 5k a few years back that I could do it now... NOT THE CASE. I have really let myself go, and I've been pretty naive about it. I feel physically run down every day, and it's my own fault!

I can't live like this anymore. And that's sort of literal, in the sense that I feel like I will actually die if I don't change. I took capoeira classes so I could pretend I was healthy, and all it really did was showcase how unhealthy I am. I am here to lose weight. I am here to gain strength. I am here to be confident in myself and change. I am here for capoeira. I am here for my family. But most of all...

I am here for ME!

I hope to meet many of you along my journey to wellness!

[Lalie Fanyarendil]

I've been pretty naive

 

Is not naiveté one of the hallmarks of The Pan? To jump into the fray without mind of the consequences? To follow one's impulses at a whim? To treat life as an adventure and never fear to die, for it will be an awfully big adventure? To fight! To fly! To crow! Surely you are The Pan, sir! (Or madam, I can't tell from your writing.)

 

Thank you for giving me an idea as to how to approach my own journey toward fitness and conquering boredom! And welcome! I might have to check out that movie--I like things that are the fun kind of cheesy.

[d3li9ht]

http://youtu.be/Z8xxgFpK-NM

O.o

They're not fighting, they're... dancing!

[theworstconversationalist]

All I can say is I totally feel you - sounds geeky but I'm the same place as you where I feel like if I don't change something drastically bad is going to happen.

 

I really really REALLY don't want that.

 

Like you, I want to feel alive again instead of just going through the motions and lying to myself. Maybe we can cheer each other on !!!