Any single parents out there?

[lishvicious]

Well as the topic title states - is there any other single parents out there? I think being a single parent brings a whole new set of obstacles on a road to fitness and I would love to hear how others go about it.

 

My greatest difficultly comes from being a full time single mum to two little ones - with very little support. So I'm pretty much stuck at home with little money for all work outs. If anyone was in a similar boat I would love to hear what their workouts entail to give me some inspiration.

 

Currently I do quite a bit of lounge room dancing with Just Dance on the wii, I have quite a few exercise DVDs for cardio and I'm doing bodyweight strength training. 

 

Hopefully I'm not the only one out there.....

[jessand2boys]

Hi - I'm a single mom too.  My biggest issue is time, as you can imagine!  

 

I have finally decided I won't get around to exercise in the evening (homework, baths, and I'm exhausted) and my sleep is too precious to get up any earlier than I already do (5:30 so we can leave by 7:10).  I am going to join the Y and go at lunch, that's the only window of time that I think might work.  My work pays for half of the monthly fee so that makes it more doable, too.

 

How old are your little ones?  Mine are 8 and 6, both boys.  :-)

[lishvicious]

Mine are 5 and 3 - girls

 

At the moment I'm not working so workouts happen haphazardly at any time of the day. It is a struggle though! 

 

I think lunch time for you sounds like a great idea to fit in a workout - hope the plan works

 

Are you going to be doing the challenge starting on the 15th? It would be great to support each other through it. 

[jessand2boys]

Sorry, meant to reply the other day - so excited about the challenge!

 

My boys are just 2.5 years apart and I remember how hard it was to get stuff done when they were younger like your girls.  It's gotten a bit easier now.

[lishvicious]

Yes I can imagine it getting easier as they get older - it is already getting so much easier now that we are out of the baby/toddler stage. 

[Lammis]

Heya, I am not technically single, but it is a rare ass day when Pops gets home anywhere near time to be helpful.  And often on the road.  So I feel pretty single a lot. 

 

I managed to get into a pretty good swing of things by end of last school year (mine, I'm a teacher, not Kid, who is not even 2) doing BWW at home but haven't managed to get back there yet.  

 

Anyway, I found that youtubing "20/30 min pilates/HIT/yoga" turned up some pretty solid results for the epic price of free.  Some I liked more than others but that's normal.  I have to get back into doing it again.  At one point I was scheduling it in for myself and that was good.  I wish I could go and do something, but that's not happening so far this year.  

[lishvicious]

Heya, I am not technically single, but it is a rare ass day when Pops gets home anywhere near time to be helpful.  And often on the road.  So I feel pretty single a lot. 

 

I managed to get into a pretty good swing of things by end of last school year (mine, I'm a teacher, not Kid, who is not even 2) doing BWW at home but haven't managed to get back there yet.  

 

Anyway, I found that youtubing "20/30 min pilates/HIT/yoga" turned up some pretty solid results for the epic price of free.  Some I liked more than others but that's normal.  I have to get back into doing it again.  At one point I was scheduling it in for myself and that was good.  I wish I could go and do something, but that's not happening so far this year.  

 

I feel your pain in not being able to go and do something. It would be nice. 

 

You should try to schedule in some more time for yourself - I pop a DVD in for the girls sometimes so that I can get a workout in. Whatever works!

[Yllek]

Single mom here! I have a nine year old boy. I get my workouts in the mornings for the most parts. Before he wakes up. Leaving them for the evening is too much of a gamble. I never know what my kid is coming with from school, plus I'm usually too exhausted.

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[lishvicious]

I am thinking that I may need to swap to morning workouts - but the problem is - it is earrrllly. This scares me.

[Archer]

I have 3 kids: 10, 6, and 3.  Time is very important, and not having to drive to a gym all the time is even more important to me.  There are a lot of really good body weight workouts that don't take very long, and require little/no equipment.  The goal is to rotate through exercises so you don't burn out on one of them.  Some examples:

 

1. Do 30 squats, 20 situps, and 10 pushups.  Do 4 rounds of that as fast as you can.  Keep a stopwatch and measure progress each week.  Work towards adding more reps like 40-30-20

 

2. Do each for 1 minute: burpees, jump-rope, situps, box/stair jumps, shadow boxing.  Then rest a minute, and repeat all 5.  Now you have a good 11 minute workout that's intense and uses your entire body.  

[boxcarkid]

Single mom here of a big kindergarten man! He is an easily entertained kid so I got a little lucky here. We typically workout together although half of the time he just sits and watches me or climbs on me or sticks his nose up to mine asking me all sorts of totally random questions/comments/concerns/blabber-bits while inconveniently doing gymnastics to avoid the beads of sweat dripping off mom. He does jumping jacks while I'm using my barbells, and runs up and down the stairs with the dogs with me (I'm doing it because I'm working on my running form, they're doing it because they're easily entertained dorks.) We do pushups together, and then when he gets tired he gets in my face or jumps on me and makes my pushups harder... so I get a better workout I guess. It's pretty much the same for pull ups. You guys get the general idea. He keeps coming home with awards for being the most sweaty kid in P.E. so I think maybe I'm doing alright as far as encouraging a healthy lifestyle. Even with the price of having an extra 40 pounds flung at my waist against my will when trying to pull myself up on a bar, both of us get our exercise and we get some good memories together so I think of it as a successful. Main mission accomplished, right?  

 

One thing that seriously helps though, we do live in an area with a lot of playgrounds so we do workout using the playground equipment and then he just plays when he gets bored and I don't have to worry about it. A quick google search into parkour training methods will show some nifty playground workouts. 

[Winwaloeus]

hi everyone

 

Single dad here of a 5 year old girl, hoping to reactivate this thread to discuss every strategy to be able to exercise, eat get fit along with youngest children !

 

i'm especiallty trying to challenge the authoritarian ways i've been raised in without falling into the permissive kind of thing. i want to get out of the very frustrating reward/punishment pavlovian cycle

 

I want to teach my kid autonomy, self respect, empathy... and guide her along the ways of the rebellion as i'm Learning to cope with it too. But i don't want to impose it, i want them to be chosen so i'm ready to learn patience !!!

 

i found this great blog

 

http://rebootyourkids.com

 

that explains the philosophy of it all, there are some great tips already.

 

so how do you guide your Minion toward the light side of the Force ? how do you deal with the fact that you're not having them full time ? how do you help them crave Broccoli and ratatouille (the french dish not the movie !!) ? how do you have these teeth washed every morning AND evening with joy and fun ?

 

looking forward to chat !!

 

winwaloeus

[HedgeMage]

Single-ish mom of a 12-year-old mini-hacker checking in...

 

Disclaimer: I am "single" in the sense that I am divorced and my son's biodad is not involved with him, however I have lots of supportive family who help out, including one we live with, so I'm not quite as single as I used to be.

 

At this age, our biggest challenge was finding a gym that doesn't freak out at the idea of my son working out with me.  Even the YMCA was a pain, insisting that he be within arm's reach of me at all times, even if doing something as low-risk as using the walking/running track in plain view.  We recently found a local gym that's far more kid-friendly -- the owner even offered to work with my son to develop a workout plan for free because he was happy to see a preteen interested in working out -- and that made me want to plonk down my money immediately.  My trainer's studio is only about two blocks from the house, so if for some reason nobody else was going to be home, it wouldn't be crazy to leave my son to his own devices for ~40 minutes while I go lift heavy things.  He's also come with me at times, and enjoys using the treadmill and/or rower while I lift, which my trainer has been very nice about.

 

When my son was smaller, we lived in a different city where there simply wasn't a good gym (here defined as "one that has free weights") in easy transportation range.  We did, however, have a great dojo, where my son and I trained together 2x/week and I did another 2x/week in an adults-only class, with my son hanging out and doing homework or playing with Sensei's kid while I did so.  That worked out pretty well, combined with hiking quite a bit, playing at parks, independent martial arts practice, and so on, all of which we did together.  Kid-chasing is TOTALLY a sport, I swear.

 

When my son was an infant and toddler, I had theoretical access to good workout facilities, but my then-husband was usually absent (complications of military life), so I often had to find ways to work out with the little one in tow.  Sticking him in a carrier for hiking was a no-brainer, and I also used to swim laps pulling him beside me in a baby boat.  My martial arts group on post loved the little guy, so we'd set up his playpen near our training area and a few of the guys I was especially close to would help me make sure he was changed, enjoying himself, and not escaping.  When he got older, we started incorporating him in some of the training drills (especially bodyguard drills where someone had to play the principle, who might act erratically under stress) to make him feel included.  Going to the gym with him was impossible (military gyms: no kids allowed), but the above activities combined with general kid-chasing worked out pretty well for me.

 

I'd say my three most important tips are:

• Include the kid(s) in working out whenever possible.
• If the kid(s) are expected to be in a holding pattern during your workout (playpen, lobby, whatever), set aside a couple of toys and games that ONLY come out during your work-out time so that the kid(s) look forward to it.
• Don't hyperfocus on the gym.  There are many kid-friendly activities that can be a good workout, both ones you can do with your kids, and ones that have natural kids-nearby activities.

[bim]

Representing, but bimspawn is more like an adult roommate now. He's wisely enjoying the life of a commuter student at home (laundry any time, fully stocked fridge, quiet environment suitable for doing all the things) while saving up his loot and attending grad school. And I'm enjoying his considerable baking skills, a ready spot when I bench, and the joy of another year's respite from empty nest syndrome.

 

I wish I had good tips for single parents of younger spawn to level up their fitness while tending to the kiddos. Frankly, I didn't do well at that at all. I didn't really get into shape until he was grown, with transport and social life and responsibility of his own. So what I can offer is probably mostly empathy, commiseration, assurance that there is life after hardcore parenting.

[Winwaloeus]

hi, nice to meet you and thanks for your answers !!

 

Hedgemadge you're very inspirational to me, since you reminded me that i  could work out with my daughter, and not in spite of her ! For now money is a problem well at least until divorce is settled, so it will take another few months, so i'll not be able to pay for a gym, but i definitely keep your ideas in mind.

 

But that made me think of the other day when my daughter watched me doing my push ups and she was very... intrigued to say the least ! she even tried some hersel ! the most awkward part is that... it was not bad !!! so i have to figure out a way so that we can "work out" together, seriously for me, as a game for her, at least for now...

 

I was thinking of using her to weight my squats to tell the truth !!!

[HedgeMage]

hi, nice to meet you and thanks for your answers !!

 

Hedgemadge you're very inspirational to me, since you reminded me that i  could work out with my daughter, and not in spite of her ! For now money is a problem well at least until divorce is settled, so it will take another few months, so i'll not be able to pay for a gym, but i definitely keep your ideas in mind.

 

But that made me think of the other day when my daughter watched me doing my push ups and she was very... intrigued to say the least ! she even tried some hersel ! the most awkward part is that... it was not bad !!! so i have to figure out a way so that we can "work out" together, seriously for me, as a game for her, at least for now...

 

I was thinking of using her to weight my squats to tell the truth !!!

 

I definitely grok the money/divorce thing.  My divorce took about 8 years if you count the various legal actions that immediately followed it...I'm still paying off the debt!  Still, keeping kiddo safe with me was my #1 priority.

 

Absolutely use her as a lifting/squatting weight or (careful) tossing weight...I did that with my son all the time and he would squeal with delight.  He's 12 now, and I can still toss him. 

 

Also, run around together at a playground (you can sneak in a pull-up or push-up when things slow down) and climb things.  Take hikes.  Swim.  Consider a trail-a-bike where she can be pulled behind you while pedaling at her own pace.

 

The more we do with our kids, the more active they are likely to grow up to be. <3

 

--Susan

 

P.S. -- Also consider martial arts.  How cool would it be to not NEED to be the scary dad, because you know if a boy got out of hand she'd kick his ass herself.

[Winwaloeus]

Hmm so many good ideas here...

If things continue the smooth way divorce should Be settled in 6 months tops so I guess with less than 2 years and a good understanding with my ex to prioritize communication to protect our girl i'm not that unlucky...

As for the mix of running hiking bodyweight I think that's my best lead I just spotted the sports field and running track and realized I could do just what you said with my minion biking next to me... I m planning to give it a try next Wednesday...

Martial arts... Never thought of that since I m as flexible as a wooden plank nailed to the floor... But since I started working out it got better so i'm definitely tempted by the kick Assez/ boy approach 🙅ðŸ™

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[Winwaloeus]

Ok had the most excellent workout today! I settled my daughter with some playdoh while doing my bodyweight training.

The little devil was actually making playdoh pizzas and sandwiches to feed me during workout so I could have the energy I needed :

Then she made monkey push ups squats and planks... While I was doing mine... And crawled under me while I was struggling with the plank like I was a bridge!

It was really encouraging and heart warming

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