Re-introduction

[Gobnait]

I feel like such a failure for all the challenges where I faceplanted, and then I cocooned myself.  Not keeping track of the days was really relaxing when hubby was gone, but not so much of a good habit once he came back... he has a schedule even if it is a complicated rythym. 

 

I'm back, and I don't really have high expectations about what I can do to improve myself appreciably.

 

I don't think I'll defeat the house issues soon.  I have desired hobbies that require physical materials.  I don't want to donate those materials just to buy them back when I have the space and time to pursue them.  It's been a while since I've woken up before dawn with the need for instant-access to a reference book, but the worry is still there.  There is also hubby's hobbies, and how he doesn't pack them away neatly.  I guess part of the problem is that there are issues with effective storage-space.  I also get overwhelmed when I do have the energy to try dealing with it.

 

I also have severe body-issues.  One of the reasons I don't go outside much because I feel I need custom clothes to look acceptable.  I'm morbidly obese and solidly believe that losing 80 pounds wouldn't help me be able to find clothing I like.  I could find men's pants that didn't make me feel gross at 180 and I was only at that low-weight because my job required walking several miles per day and I wasn't eating because of constant heat-stroke .  I was still obese even with such extreme disparity between fuel-needs and what I was using.

 

[House]

Welcome back to the forum

 

I know that feeling of feeling like you're getting on the horse, but falling off. Several times that has happened to me, but you have to resolve to stay in a good healthful state of mind. 

 

I might also suggest looking for the positive in everything, versus focusing on the negative. Negative feels, at least for myself, have a big impact on my goals and ideals. 

 

 

Hope to see you around soon!