Damaged Warrior

[airinpie]

I'm new here, just went through my first 6 week challenge, and realized that I haven't actually introduced myself, so here goes.

 

I'm airin, female 5'7 and overweight (sigh)

I found nerd fitness and immediately knew this was the place for me.  I love fitness, and I love all things nerdy.  win/win  I'm also in need of support (aka a kick in the butt) from time to time, and I'm hoping you all can help me with that. 

 

I started my journey several years ago as a runner.  I am not a good runner, and no matter how hard I tried, I never really improved.  I love running, but it's probably never going to be my strong point.  I've done/tried all sorts of activites in the last few years: kenpo, mma, whitewater kayaking, swimming, cycling, hiking, backpacking, and most recently, crossfit.  For the first time IN MY LIFE, I was good at a physical activity.  I can throw up some weight.  And I'm one of those people that builds muscle quickly.  YES! It felt really good to be good.  Until I tore my meniscus.  Probably a combination of bad form, too much, too soon, and ego.  In any case, I had surgery in January on my left knee, took about 3 months off, and started back slowly.  And then tore my other meniscus.  Again with the surgery, this one was in June, on my right knee. 

 

So here I am now.  I've not tried to go back to crossfit because i feel like i'm obviously not responsible enough to go and take it easy (also it's a lot of money to be as limited as I am right now).  Last month I joined a normal gym and have been doing upper body, VERY limited legs, and riding the bike.  I still can't run, and walking more than about a half mile is still painful.  My left knee had a lot of arthritis (from a previous car accident), and is healing very slowly. 

 

My goals are to lose fat, and increase strength, especially in my legs.  The docs tell me it just takes time, and building your legs will help reduce pain.  It's been very hard mentally to go from doing all the things, to struggling to do anything, but here we go.

[Pavelluvs2eat]

I can relate, I have back pain and have spent my share of time laid up from a pulled muscle or other things. Best of luck starting slow, my philosophy is that if I sweat it means I worked hard enough. Being held back by your weakest part is not shameful, and it takes humility to know our limits!

[goodbye_farewell]

How frustrating. I am going through something similar right now. I had ACL surgery 9 years ago. Here recently it has been giving me lots of trouble and holding me back from strength training and checking out the brand new (and only) crossfit box near my house.

 

So good luck to us both in getting our knees healthy and finding ways to get fit without re-injuring ourselves!

[Nikki222]

I can also relate. I have had a bad back since I was a kid. I am just glad you aren't using it as an excuse to not do anything about your fitness (like I did...)

 

More power to ya!!!

[airinpie]

It's hard to find that line between "hurts, but is ok" and "hurts but will possibly be damaging".  I wasn't doing anything crazy when I hurt my 2nd knee, but it was in a compromised state from being overused after the first surgery.  I told my doctor that I was scared to death that I'd end up going back and forth for the rest of my life.  I mean, it's been 8 MONTHS since the first surgery, and I'm still not right on that leg either. 

[MasterOfCows]

There's a few of us with recent knee surgeries kicking (ha!) on the boards - Nymeria and karinajean and myself to name a few.

 

kj and I had surgeries in June as well, her for ACL, me for ACL, meniscus and ALL.  I have to get my other knee done as well (same surgery).  So I hear you, it is very frustrating to go from doing lots of fun stuff to doing not very much.

 

Did you have a meniscal repair or a meniscectomy?  Recovery will be slower with the repair, although 8 months does seem a shade long.  What does your surgeon say about the pace of that recovery?  Do you have a sports physio you could consult with?

[airinpie]

The doc went in and shaved off the torn part on both knees.  Left had a lot of degeneration and arthritis behind the kneecap.  The right one had worse cartilage damage, and he ended up cutting into the bone to make it bleed, creating scar tissue so I would have some cushion.  I just saw him for my post op appt and told him all of my concerns.  The right knee (most recent surgery) is actually doing better than the left.  He thinks that with all things considered, I'm doing ok.  He says that the pain I have now is from the arthritis, and what he calls "potholes" of damage on my kneecap.  He did say he thought I still had some surgery healing to do, and that I should end up feeling better than I do now over time.  He also prescribed some arthritis medicine, and is trying to get my insurance to approve some sort of injections that he feels will help.  Something to do with rooster combs...

[Alexandrite]

Welcome! And you are probably seeing a therapist to work on it too, right? Sounds like you just have that mental game to keep your enthusiasm in check so you can take the scenic route?

[Hong WeiLoh]

Ouch. Literally!

Can't say much on the serious injury stuff -- only one I've ever sustained was a wishbone-fx'd left fibula, and it wasn't even a really bad split, just the last couple inches of the distal end cracked open. :-/ Anyway, good luck with your recovery and getting back on the horse!

[Yllek]

I know exactly what you mean. It's hard to keep that balance and not do too much. And so frustrating to be limited. Good luck and hope you feel better.

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[airinpie]

Welcome! And you are probably seeing a therapist to work on it too, right? Sounds like you just have that mental game to keep your enthusiasm in check so you can take the scenic route?

 

I did some PT, but not a ton, they did help, and I've got some exercises to work on.  Unfortunately, most of them require machines.  I'm not ready for your typical bodyweight leg exercises like squats or lunges.  It's pretty impressive to watch me put up 10 lbs on the leg extension machine though.  lol

[aeshnidae]

I'm with you on pain and overdoing it. I was running too much (adding too much distance per week) and wound up breaking my leg. I was in a cast for 6 weeks and then a lighter cast for another 4 weeks. During that time, it was really hard to exercise; it totally derailed my routine and was very frustrating. I now pay close attention to that fine line between "it hurts but it's okay" and "I should stop this exercise right now."

 

I also build muscle very, very quickly. I will literally hulk out and my wife will tell me it's time to stop because I'm petite all those muscles start to look scary on me. 

 

Heavy lifting (4-6 rep range) has been amazing. It's making my muscles nice and dense without hulking them out. It really helps me manage the pain of fibromyalgia, and now I can do actual pull-ups! I still run, and in fact I'm training for a 10K, but I no longer run every single day. Instead I do HIIT cardio on the elliptical, which is low impact but still provides the endurance benefits and calorie burn of cardio. Good luck to you!

[airinpie]

Last Labor Day I was on a backpack trip when my knee pain finally got to the point where I decided to see a doctor. One year ago. That was the last time I backpacked, hiked, ran, or did many of the things I love. I'm laying in my bed having a moment and feeling sorry for myself. I have a supportive family and friends, but they don't really understand, and a year is a long time to be sympathetic. Sometimes you just need a good cry I guess.

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[MLowe1982]

Airinpie,

I would talk to your doctor about Synvisc injections. I have had 2 knee surgeries on the right leg and one on the left. I had an issue with my knees always dislocating. This caused the potholes in my cartilage your doctor is speaking about. The injections for me have been a life saver. I have had knee pain for the last 10-15 years pretty consistently. A month after my last injection *it is three injections one a week for 3 weeks* They pain just stopped. My knee's don't click any more and they have allowed me increase my fitness level. I cant say you would be a candidate for them but I wish my old orthopedic surgeon had talked to me about them because they have really changed my outlook on exercise. I am still 358 lbs but my knees feel better now then they did when i was 100 lbs lighter.

 

Also when you are working on getting your leg strength back don't forget your hip muscles those will help a lot with keeping the knee stable and releasing some of the pressure on them. 

 

~Mike~ 

[airinpie]

Airinpie,

I would talk to your doctor about Synvisc injections. I have had 2 knee surgeries on the right leg and one on the left. I had an issue with my knees always dislocating. This caused the potholes in my cartilage your doctor is speaking about. The injections for me have been a life saver. I have had knee pain for the last 10-15 years pretty consistently. A month after my last injection *it is three injections one a week for 3 weeks* They pain just stopped. My knee's don't click any more and they have allowed me increase my fitness level. I cant say you would be a candidate for them but I wish my old orthopedic surgeon had talked to me about them because they have really changed my outlook on exercise. I am still 358 lbs but my knees feel better now then they did when i was 100 lbs lighter.

 

Also when you are working on getting your leg strength back don't forget your hip muscles those will help a lot with keeping the knee stable and releasing some of the pressure on them. 

 

~Mike~ 

 

I'm glad to hear a positivie review.  My doctor said he thought I would be a good cadidate for them, and that he really thought they would help me.  They are working on getting them approved with my insurance now.  Apparently it takes a while, but I'm willing to try it when it's available.

[airinpie]

I'm freaking out a bit right now. My knee is feeling like it did when it was torn I have an ortho appt next week to check it out again. This is just craziness.

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