I Need a Hero...

[crummie85]

Hey guys!

 

My name is Mary, I’m 25 years old and I live with my husband and two cats in Kentucky. I guess you can say that I've been a nerd all my life but I just needed to find the right person to bring that out in me.  

 

Anyway, I've struggled with my weight all my life, but what really started me wanting to lose the weight was the spring of 2009, when my mother died at the age of 54 due to health related complications.

 

I was not always fat. It wasn't until I began puberty that I started to pack on the pounds. The women in my family have always been well endowed, and honestly having to go from a training bra to a full grown adult bra in 5th grade is really difficult for a kid. I never had a great self image after that. I remember feeling better when I ate things that that tasted good. My mom would use food as a reward. If I did well in something I'd get some kind of special treat.

 

My freshman year of high school I weighed about 250 lbs. and between the stresses of growing up and my love for all things bad for me I gained about 25-30 lbs before I graduated. By the time I went off to college, I had managed to bring it back down to 250 through a lot of walking. (I had no car and lived in a small town; everything was within walking distance.) now I'm sitting at roughly 330, and I’m 20 lbs away from my mom’s weight before she died. It scares me, But I didn't know where to start.

 

The last two years have been a huge yo-yoing for my weight, I'd lose 10-20 lbs and gain it back. The biggest challenge I have faced has been my depression and anxiety. After I got married, my husband and I struggled with living on the verge of homelessness, him losing his mom, and us losing our jobs and having huge breakdowns. I was so scared of the what if’s that I never took time for myself to be healthier, both mentally and physically.

 

My goal is to be healthy. I want to be at a healthy weight and be able to be healthy. I want to feel good about the way I look and have the confidence to back that up. I want to be able to fit into clothes that make me feel good about my body, and I want to be able to go clothes shopping without being disappointed. I've got a long way to go here and I know it will be hard. I cannot sit idly by any longer and watch me dig my own grave.

So this is where I start. I've got a lot of baggage coming to the Rebellion, and a lot of scars. But I do think that’s what makes a really good hero. We’re each the hero of our own story, each story different and full of potential. I’m ready to stop trying to do this on my own and start making the changes I need to be the hero my story needs me to be. After all, I've got my world to save, and I've got to be ready.

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

Woot!!  Welcome to the Rebellion!  Lots of people have baggage here - it's really pretty much a part of the hero's journey to cope with that baggage and grow.  Maybe even turn that baggage into  advantages and stepping stones to our goals.

 

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message.  There's lots to read and do around here, and it can be a bit overwhelming.  Take it slow and have FUN!!

 

[crummie85]

Awesome!

 

I have been doing some exercises on my own this week, and finally got a chance to do the beginner workout. WHEW! I'm sweaty, but it feels good to be doing something that I know is going to help me.

[Chris-Tien Jinn]

Yeap.  Those "beginner" workouts will kick your butt, but it gets easier.  Of course, you keep progressing and doing harder workouts too .... so it all evens out!  

[Randa Rooskie]

Woot!!  Welcome to the Rebellion!  Lots of people have baggage here - it's really pretty much a part of the hero's journey to cope with that baggage and grow.  Maybe even turn that baggage into  advantages and stepping stones to our goals.

 

If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message.  There's lots to read and do around here, and it can be a bit overwhelming.  Take it slow and have FUN!!

 

 

 

YES!

 

 

Be super proud of taking those first steps and jumping into the fight for health!

[KingDs]

Rock on! I used to live in Kentucky. I'm trying to find my purpose in life. I believe traveling has helped me stay in a decent shape, but I want to be fit. Once you start, realize early that it's more about the journey than it is about the destination. You'll reach a set weight and decide "hey, let's keep going" and before you know it, you're walking to another state, because you heard there was a show there that you'd been wanting to see. Ok maybe not THAT drastic... But you never know, crazier things have happened to heroes, right?

[jody]

Hey, my mom rewareded with food too, and was not a problem for me since I could eat just about anything and never gain a pound.  Then I had kids, and now I can't even LOOK at food without putting on weight!  I'm a big gal, and deal with depression and anxiety and serious life challenges, too.

 

I know how hard it can be, but we can totally do this.  I got your back.  I'm hopin' you got mine, too.  If ya ever need to talk, just send me a PM.  Maybe I can give you my cell number and you can just text me when you're having a down day.  I know how much it can help to just vent once in a while.  It's hard to not self-soothe with food when that's what you've been taught to do.  And I know what it's like to be more down than the bottom.

 

*hugs*

[IronGlider]

Wow, really inspiring to seeing you muster for strength to tackle a challenge like this, you've got this! :-D

Whenever you have any doubts, or you're not quite sure where you are, just re-read that first post and/or tell us how this journey is going. We're with ya every step! :-)

[Eleanorsbee]

Well you have found the right place.

 

I have lived all over the internet, and NF is the first place I have been that caters for all ..... There is no prejudice against Men, women, young, old, Large, small, Straight, gay, both, neither, race, background, where you are going, where you have been.

 

you will definitely get all the emotional support here you need, as well as a wealth of nutrition, fitness and meditative resources

 

Where you are now, might seem to you like a long hard way from where you want to be, but all you need to do is look through the before and after threads and look at the success stories to realize that you are not alone and you can achieve your goals and the folk on this forum can support you in achieving that.

 

Give it a few years and not only will you be your own hero, you will probably be someone elses as well as they strive to accomplish what you will

[Dradis]

I'd recommend getting back to walking. That is how i started and i still do it a lot now (although i understand its more normal for us Londoners as everything is close).

 

My tips:

Start slow

Make small changes, don't overwhelm yourself.

Don't do any fads, make changes you plan to make for life (even if you intend to or accidentally slip up on occasion).

Don't go too gung-ho into exercise and burn out or get injured. Its a marathon not a sprint.

Don't focus on how far you have to go but how far you've already come

[crummie85]

It's pretty amazing to have a great place of support like this. Everything I have read here and on the blog has made me feel better about doing this. Thanks!

[Papa Raf C]

[Randa Rooskie]

Hey there, Mary!  I saw you posted somewhere about having started the beginner body weight work out.  Way to go!  You wrote on your introduction that your goal is to be healthy.  Have you figured out some mini-goals to set for yourself along the way?  Committing to walking X times a week, or doing the body weight stuff every other day, dropping 10 lbs, etc etc?  I've found that what they write on the forums about having "SMART" goals really helps me, and having some small goal I can reach in a few weeks for the challenge has been very motivating.  Steve writes about it here: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2013/05/30/why-you-should-join-the-next-nerd-fitness-challenge/

 

Just food for thought!  Keep up the good work!

[crummie85]

Hey there, Mary!  I saw you posted somewhere about having started the beginner body weight work out.  Way to go!  You wrote on your introduction that your goal is to be healthy.  Have you figured out some mini-goals to set for yourself along the way?  Committing to walking X times a week, or doing the body weight stuff every other day, dropping 10 lbs, etc etc?  I've found that what they write on the forums about having "SMART" goals really helps me, and having some small goal I can reach in a few weeks for the challenge has been very motivating.  Steve writes about it here: http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2013/05/30/why-you-should-join-the-next-nerd-fitness-challenge/

 

Just food for thought!  Keep up the good work!

 

Mostly I've been working on doing the workout 3X a week, and making better choices in my eating habits. I have been a bit unsure of setting a concrete goal because I have made goals in the past and have never completed them. I guess for me just making the decision to say 'I am someone who works out' seems to be helping. I want to start making goals but I don't know where to start/what are reasonable goals. I'm open for suggestions and tips.

[Randa Rooskie]

I was holding off on responding because I'm not a great goal-setter myself... but I agree that just changing your self-talk to, "I'm someone who works out," can make a huge difference!  Aiming for three days a week sounds like a great goal to start out with.  Are you keeping track of your workouts?  I printed my google calendar to have on my desk and put big happy marks on it when I do my workouts!  I'll come to this forum a lot when I need some motivation.

 

Again, I've not had a great track record with goals in the past, but I find it very helpful to be involved in this six week challenge.  One: it made me actually have to sit down and set a reasonable goal for myself.  Two: I'm not daunted by thinking I've committed to some forever-thing.  Six weeks is just long enough to test me and build good habits without feeling oppressive!  Three: people on the forums!  You can even sign up for an accountabilibuddy group to keep you accountable / motivate you!

 

If you're not looking to do that though, then maybe just try to write out what exactly "healthy" looks like to you and keep doing what you've started, taking one step at a time to get there.  Level up and become a hero yourself!

 

[Randa Rooskie]

Hey there!  It's been quiet for a while over in this neck of the woods... how are things going?

[Keltab]

Hello!  I am about to add my own intro in this forum, but I wanted to respond to your post first.  I understand how challenging it can be to not fit in a crowd.  I was a big kid - height and size wise.  Standing out is not an easy thing.  I am just now starting my return to fitness.  I have quite a few hurdles to overcome, but I know I can do it with focus and support from fellow Rebels here.  So - now for an idea for you...

I built a spreadsheet that let's me check off the mini-goals I have for myself.  Walking X number of steps, working out on certain days, eating good meals (at least usually)...  As I do a good thing I get to mark it on the tracker.  Once I hit certain marks I earn a reward (not food, even though that was the first thing that came to mind.)  Choose a reward that means something to you - or challenge your husband to reward you.  Maybe a nice back-rub once you have worked out the first 3 times?  Then, you have to work out 5 times to earn the next back-rub...  Make each challenge a little tougher.  Maybe for each healthy meal you get one point, earn enough and you get a different reward?  I made it a game, then I found Nerd Fitness!  Talk about leveling up - I am looking forward to this new challenge.  I have along way to go, and I am happy to be a friendly support for you as you face your challenges.  Please PM me if you need to vent, toss out an idea, or just want a different voice.  I like to help, and I know I will need help along the way!  

 

Stay focused on each step of your journey, not just the end.  You can achieve the goals you set for yourself!