Asperger/Autism/PDD/HFA Safe Space

[Brawlrus]

Good thing this isn't another "Safe Space", where the only acceptable answer would be "IF YOU DON'T AGREE WITH ME, GET OUT". Hahaha

 

 

Yeah, I'm just a "both sides of the story" kind of person. I look at everything with skepticism and never just take what I'm told, at face value.

If this really was a case of some prejudice, it's worth fighting, but if it is just an angry mother, who expects life and everyone she meets, to give her a break, that doesn't deserve the energy.

I want our cause to be solid. If there are too many people crying wolf, simply because they didn't get their way, it weakens the integrity of the entire community. The result being, anyone who really is discriminated against, is brushed off, because chances are, there is no wolf.

[Zorch]

 

The parents should have prepared ahead of time, by either calling and arranging something, or bringing their own snacks, if possible. You can't buy a coach ticket, then expect the rules to be bent for your kid. I believe there is every chance that the mother was already being obnoxious and in her words, "she'll get to a meltdown point, then you're gonna want to help her", sounds like a possible threat. Also keeping in mind that the chances the mother was as calm on the plane, as she was in the video, is very unlikely and she likely said it in a much more aggressive way.

 

Here's where you know she's not telling the entire truth, she said "she can't tell us", but it also says that they "saw it coming on the flight that day"

 

Whether anyone wants to accept it, or not, if this girl flipped out, someone could get hurt, even her, if she had to be restrained.  It's not about them needing sensitivity training or anything, I really believe it was the mother's words and reaction, that raised red flags.

The pilot's duty is to make sure everyone is safe, from the time they get on, to the time they land. If he's flying the plane(yeah, mom, you think maybe that's why he didn't come back to see she wasn't a threat?) he's not going to be able to do anything other than take the rest of the staff's words and make a decision.

 

I do wonder whether there's another side to the story that we're not hearing (Because let's face it, the media sucks, and are mostly useful for telling one-sided pieces that whip people into a frenzy, as opposed to actual journalism).  That said, the airline's decision was still stupid and outright wrong.

 

As a frequent traveler who has a pet peeve about parents who don't attend to their children and thereby subject the rest of the plan to hours of misery, I still see the airline's actions as unreasonable and stupid.  Even if the child was being loud and bothering the other passengers(it's not clear if, or to what extent this may have occurred), there's no way she was a threat to the plane.  And quite frankly, if I were diverted to Salt Lake City on the way to Portland because of this, I'd be ****ing pissed - not at the parents/child, but mostly at the airline/pilot.  From Salt Lake to Portland is maybe another hour - 90 minutes at most.  Even in the worst, loudest scenario, I'd much rather deal with the noise than waste all that time on an emergency landing, refueling, and ending up several hours late to my destination - and that's not eveing factoring in passengers who may have had a connecting flight

 

There are annoying screaming babies who aren't labeled by society(beyond just being normal annoying screaming babies) on planes all the time, and we don't divert flights for them - that's generally reserved for medical emergencies.  I'm not convinced the parents were 100% blameless(mostly because I assume the media sucks until proven otherwise - and local media outlets are often the worst offenders), but I've dealt with screaming children on flights before, and I can guarantee you that putting up with a screaming child in one's vicinity on a plane is almost inevitably preferable to being 5 hours late because your plane has to divert somewhere, and ending up missing whatever you had planned after your arrival because of it.  I've been there.  Suck it up and deal with another hour in the air, instead of ruining 200 people's plans with an unnecessary non-emergency "emergency" landing.

[Machete]

I don't think anyone is honestly inherently evil; people just have different priorities. Even The Dark Side of The Fore, at worst, merely preaches nothing more than selfishness; and even Hitler had his reasons.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psZ7VRGExnk

 

But yeah, from a passenger's point-of-view, I think we have all pretty much accepted in buying a plane ticket that it's going to be an uncomfortable few hours. (Unless of course you're one of those deviants like the ones who like Brussels Sprouts.) We're a bunch of people jam-packed into a metal can hurling itself into the air. One time I actually conspired with some seatmates to buy some rum and somehow sneak it into the crying baby's mouth, because sleep. (We didn't do it.) I'm just thankful that I can cross the Pacific in 12 hours. (Though it would be nice to have a TV while waiting. I'm looking at you, China Air.)

 

 

Funny, that one time I flew (I believe it was fucking United Airlines) I got diverted all over the place, and spent the next two days in seven different airports, sleeping at USOs and eating girlscout cookies. I was talking with my friend on Facebook, and I believe there was a location attached to every message from a new Wi-Fi connection. So every few messages it was a different state; after like four she asked what the hell I was doing teleporting all over the place.

[Thrillho]

I just flew for 6 hours over Greenland and the North Pole, and... yeah, I'm kind of amazed that I FLEW FOR SIX HOURS OVER GREENLAND AND THE NORTH POLE.  I SAW OUTER FRICKIN' SPACE, AND COLORS ON THE HORIZON THAT MY EYES HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

 

Heaven forbid someone in the giant metal tube mildly inconvenience me in any way.  I'm too busy enjoying my incredibly cramped seat, wildly fluctuating temperatures and $19 sandwich. 

[Brawlrus]

My point, more simplified: If a man were on a plane and started demanding that he be served a meal from first class, when he knowingly purchased coach, then said "If you don't give this to me, you're going to wish you had", many people wouldn't bat an eye at stopping to make him leave. When this mother says it, it's somehow different? There are many on the spectrum, that have episodes of violent behavior, when the thing that triggered the episode isn't corrected. I know a 15 year old girl doesn't seem like a threat, but all it takes is one flailing arm, or a kicking leg while attempting to control her, to break someone's nose, or any number of injuries.

 

Would I be annoyed at having to stop? Well, yeah, but I was going to be annoyed, either way. One of the ways, stops a potential escalating issue. It sucks for all parties involved. There is nothing pleasant about any of it, but were that the situation, I can at least understand the decision, regardless of any agreement I have with it.

[Zorch]

My point, more simplified: If a man were on a plane and started demanding that he be served a meal from first class, when he knowingly purchased coach, then said "If you don't give this to me, you're going to wish you had", many people wouldn't bat an eye at stopping to make him leave. When this mother says it, it's somehow different? There are many on the spectrum, that have episodes of violent behavior, when the thing that triggered the episode isn't corrected. I know a 15 year old girl doesn't seem like a threat, but all it takes is one flailing arm, or a kicking leg while attempting to control her, to break someone's nose, or any number of injuries.

 

Would I be annoyed at having to stop? Well, yeah, but I was going to be annoyed, either way. One of the ways, stops a potential escalating issue. It sucks for all parties involved. There is nothing pleasant about any of it, but were that the situation, I can at least understand the decision, regardless of any agreement I have with it.

 

I do agree with the first point.  Airlines about 25 different varieties of special meals, as well as handicapped-friendly services.  Parents can not only address these issues up front, but should be prepared for such eventualities and have a "plan B" in place in the event that airline food service doesn't fit their child's preferences - these parents were very obviously not traveling neophytes, and as such they ought to have known to contact the airline up front, and to have backup plans in place.  (To use a simpler example, it is not unusual for meals to be delayed because of turbulence.  Being experienced travelers who are aware of this, having a backup plan for such a situation would have been the responsible thing for the parents to do.)

 

However, I still maintain that a child in a window seat(with her parents next to her) did not present a threat to any other passengers, and to divert to Salt Lake made the situation worse for EVERYONE.

[Brawlrus]

I do agree with the first point.  Airlines about 25 different varieties of special meals, as well as handicapped-friendly services.  Parents can not only address these issues up front, but should be prepared for such eventualities and have a "plan B" in place in the event that airline food service doesn't fit their child's preferences - these parents were very obviously not traveling neophytes, and as such they ought to have known to contact the airline up front, and to have backup plans in place.  (To use a simpler example, it is not unusual for meals to be delayed because of turbulence.  Being experienced travelers who are aware of this, having a backup plan for such a situation would have been the responsible thing for the parents to do.)

 

However, I still maintain that a child in a window seat(with her parents next to her) did not present a threat to any other passengers, and to divert to Salt Lake made the situation worse for EVERYONE.

 

Next time a bee flies in your window, or a mosquito lands on your arm, remember, it poses no threat to you, because it's small.

 

The girl is 15, hardly a "child". I know a bodybuilder/Highschool teacher, that is around 240 lbs. at over 6', he got jumped and hurt pretty bad by a teenage girl.

 

Do you really think the pilot is stupid? You think that he's just going to go out of his way, just because a girl might act up? I don't, I think they viewed it as a legitimate threat, more than likely because the mother portrayed it that way. There is also every possibility, that they landed and removed them, because the mother was being difficult and that it had nothing to do with the girl, a all.

[Thrillho]

While this isn't DIRECTLY related to the thread title, it's pretty close, and a pretty good thing...

 

My son's teacher, Mr. "I Don't Believe In Anxiety So I'm Going To Publicly Humiliate You And Occasionally Hit You Until You're Normal", got fired.  My son now has a substitute for the rest of the year.

 

Better late than never, I guess.

[Bekah]

While this isn't DIRECTLY related to the thread title, it's pretty close, and a pretty good thing...

 

My son's teacher, Mr. "I Don't Believe In Anxiety So I'm Going To Publicly Humiliate You And Occasionally Hit You Until You're Normal", got fired.  My son now has a substitute for the rest of the year.

 

Better late than never, I guess.

he was hitting him??? Godfuckingdamnit! poor thing! I'm glad that fucker got fired!

[Thrillho]

No no no, it wasn't BAD hitting! It was like boys rough-housing! It was PERFECTLY fine! Boys do that all the time! He hit a bunch of other kids that way, and they all laughed! </teacher>

 

He was the prototypical Alpha gym teacher (actually was a gym teacher), who thinks that shoving and arm-punching and the occasional head-lock is a perfectly normal and polite mode of social interaction, and the school was generally willing to agree with him (I had a teacher who got fired and became a Registered Sex Offender for hooking a girl's belt loop on her jeans when she walked past his desk to get her attention, but apparently THIS is fine), but I guess he finally pushed his luck just a few hundred times too far. To my son, all of these moments were personal physical attacks, made all the worse by the fact that everyone laughed at him when it happened.

 

But he's gone! No more thinking about it! On to high school next year! 

[Bekah]

No no no, it wasn't BAD hitting! It was like boys rough-housing! It was PERFECTLY fine! Boys do that all the time! He hit a bunch of other kids that way, and they all laughed! </teacher>

He was the prototypical Alpha gym teacher (actually was a gym teacher), who thinks that shoving and arm-punching and the occasional head-lock is a perfectly normal and polite mode of social interaction, and the school was generally willing to agree with him (I had a teacher who got fired and became a Registered Sex Offender for hooking a girl's belt loop on her jeans when she walked past his desk to get her attention, but apparently THIS is fine), but I guess he finally pushed his luck just a few hundred times too far. To my son, all of these moments were personal physical attacks, made all the worse by the fact that everyone laughed at him when it happened.

But he's gone! No more thinking about it! On to high school next year!

Im glad he is gone too! that sort of shit is horrible, I hope it doesnt impact him forever. Give him a big giant hug for me will ya?

[BarefootDawsy]

So much of this applies to my wee brother. He's intelligent and articulate, but he can't tell you the days of the week or months of the year in sequence.

He can become obsessed with a subject and spend hours/days/weeks learning about it, then he loses interest and it drops off his radar and gets forgotten.

He disappears off into his own world and can spend hours not communicating with other people. He sooooo often repeats back what you say to him as if he needs to better understand your question "Are you going to the park?" - "Am I going to the park?" (With raised eyebrows)

He is absolutely rigid in his opinions. NOTHING will sway him once he has formed an idea or opinion, and the only proof or evidence that he required to support his beliefs is that he himself believes them.

And he either has no concept of social rules, or he applies them in bizarre ways, and as for understanding other people and their emotional needs/reactions....? Forget it.

It's incredibly frustrating! For him and for us, especially as he has never been diagnosed. We tried to get him diagnosed once before and it resulted in a diagnosis of ADHD, but that just doesn't quite seem to fit.

I was just saying to the bf that I need to go online and see if there are is any advice or support out there. The poor guy needs some help, and we as a family need it too.

Sent from my stoopid phone which hates me I swear.

Wow that sounds a lot like my son. We had a hell of a time getting him diagnosed. He's smart and friendly, but social cues go way over his head. The getting stuck on one topic and zoning out ring big bells too.

They recently updated the definition if Autism here in Australia, so he falls 'on the spectrum' now.

You may want to get your brother reassessed. It could be that he has what's called PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified), which basically means that he's autistic in some respects, but not in others.

It's really conflicting getting a diagnosis, but I know for us it has made a huge difference in terms if the support we can access, which has helped more than I would have imagined.

Anyhow, good luck, he sounds like a good kid.

[Guzzi]

Thanks Barefoot

It's been a while since I've been online (in any way or form) but after I made that post I started looking into how I could get him some support. I contacted a local charity called Lochaber Hope who help people with mental or physical disabilities. They put us in contact with Autism Initiatives who have been really helpful. We've now had him re-assessed and he definitely falls into the "spectrum". They have given a preliminary diagnosis of aspergers, but I don't feel that it quite fits either. I've read about something called PDA (pathological demand avoidance) which seems to be a far better fit.

It's still a bonus though. I think that he was tearing himself up inside for not being able to do certain things, for being "weird".... Having a diagnosis helps to explain his behaviour, both to himself and to other people. It's just the start though. We need to find ways to support him now so that he can live a fuller life than he was before.

Fingers crossed.

[Bullroarer Took]

Bringing this back up since I just discovered this thread.

 

I always asked myself "what would a normal person say in this situation?  I specifically don't wear shirts with images or words because that might cause people to talk to me.  I never realized the degree of my issues until A) my son was diagnosed on the spectrum the one dude I really connected with and felt like actually understood me growing up through adulthood... well, let's say he succumbed to existential angst this year. 

 

Since then I've thought a lot that it's not so much I don't have a place in this world, it's just that I'm kinda the only person in that place.

[Guzzi]

Since then I've thought a lot that it's not so much I don't have a place in this world, it's just that I'm kinda the only person in that place.

I don't think you're alone there. Xx

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk which is a pile of shite

[Thrillho]

[Artinum]

Since then I've thought a lot that it's not so much I don't have a place in this world, it's just that I'm kinda the only person in that place.

 

I don't think you're alone there. Xx

 

I know what you mean, but that still made me go "uhhh..."