Minimalism, and the minimalist lifestyle

[Jakkals]

And someone asked cleaning up advice on another forum, and then I wrote this.

 

 

 

I do not have your level of trouble, but I am in an advisy mood today, so please ignore the following.

1. It will never go away. If you have got that type of mindset, you will have that problem for the rest of your life.

2. It feels insurmountable

3. It is beatable.

4. You can do it alone, or you can pay someone to help you to do it.

5. It will be better to learn how to do it alone. If someone else do it you will have to get someone else getting to do it again.

6. There are lots of info online.

7. All of it are useless as is. 

8. You will have to get your own way that works for you.

9. You will feel overwhelmed at times, crawl into a corner and wish the house will burn down.

10. You will wake up one morning, and gave it another go.

11. You will read some more minimalism websites.

12. Every now and then you will have a little place clean and sorted.

13. Constant vigilance is needed to keep that little place clean and sorted.

14. You will tackle another pile.

15. You will give up

16. And try again.

17. And give up again.

18. And then one day you will walk into your place and suddenly realize, "This is really looking better today."

19. You will jump in with renewed energy.

20. You will give up again.

21. One day you will see that the little clean spot isn't clean anymore, and be very upset.

22. And found that cleaning it a second time takes much less effort.

23. Found courage again.

24. Do a 30 day minimalism challenge

25. And win.

26. And one day you will get one room completely clean. 

27. And after dusting the remotest corner and picking little pieces of lint of the carpet you will sit back and think that maybe this is just possible after all.

28. And go on with the other rooms.

29. And one day found you have given up again.

30. And recommit.

31. And found that recommitment is coming easier these days.

32. And got another room clean.

33. And took a picture and post it online for people that you do not know and then obsessively refresh to see if there is more likes.

34. And then do another minimalism challenge.

35. And run out of things to get rid off.

36. And stop bothering.

37. And a year later walked into your neat house again, and think: Why do I have all this stuff? 

38. Start cleaning again.

39. And finish within a week.

40. And start reading a minimalism blog and realize there is nothing that they can teach you anymore.

41. And start posting advice on the internet for strangers.

42. Ignoring the cupboard full of stuff on you left side that has been haunting you for the past year.

43. And remembering there is still a Garage full of stuff that belong to other people.

44. And you would want to give up again.

45. And forgive yourself.

46. And recommit.

47. And be thankful for what you have achieved so far.

48. Good luck.

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

And someone asked cleaning up advice on another forum, and then I wrote this.

 

Hahaha,.. Weeelll, that was depressing.

 

I've been trying to declutter for such a long time, and I guess I've been making progress, but the fact that it can turn into a decades-long process is just...ugh.

 

I have one week left in this challenge to finish decluttering my room :| After reading this, though, it feels like I'm doomed to fail. Maybe I can do all of the decluttering except for one item on the list...

 

And this is just one room. Gaaaahhh. At least I know this is normal now?

[TMedina]

It's easier, I have found, when you are honest with yourself.  You have that conversation with yourself about what you're holding on to, and why.  

 

And challenge yourself.  "I keep this because I might need it".  "But when have I ever needed it?"

 

"It was a good deal."  "Yes, it was - and you've never used it, and now it's actively costing you - in stress, space, and cleaning."

 

Identify the underlying emotional triggers and motivations.  Address those, and then you can move forward.  

 

That's half the battle.  The other half is actual organizing, assuming you have things left that need organizing.  I'll never be fully minimalist, but I am working to break my emotional attachment to things as pacifiers and placebos. 

[Guzzi]

I've found this thread really interesting and thought provoking.  I am the opposite of a minimalist.  I like to joke that I own one of everything, and that's not far from the truth, but I also love organisation.  My boyfriend on the other hand genuinely does live a minimal lifestyle, and he struggles with the sheer amount of Stuff that I have.

 

Like TMedina, I grew up in a very untidy house.  My mother was useless as a "home maker" and whilst I never noticed it as a young child, by the time I had reached 13 I was spending my pocket money trying to sort it out.  My mum wasn't a hoarder by any stretch of the imagination, in fact we had very few possessions.  It's just they were all lying around, usually on the floor.

 

I'll spoiler the rant about what it was like growing up.

As kids we didn't realise that our laundry "system" was unusual.  None of our clothes were in our drawers or wardrobes, they were all in the laundry pile in the kitchen.  This consisted of one tall laundry basket which was overflowing, and bin bags to hold the rest, which were usually ripped and spilling their contents onto the floor.  Each morning we would get up, go downstairs, and rummage through the pile until we found enough clothes to wear that day.  There was no set place for us to put our dirty washing so that usually just ended up on the floor.  There was actually a laundry bin in the bathroom for dirty stuff, but that was always full of wet, mouldy towels. Yuck!

 

There was always food going rotten in the fridge or cupboards because my mum just had no clue and never made any effort to use things up before the expiry date.  New stuff would just go on top of old stuff, and the "old" stuff got older and older.  My mum is insulin dependant diabetic.  One time I found insulin in the fridge that was 2 years(!!!) out of date!  That shit could have killed her!!!  But her response when I showed it to her...?  "Oh dear, that's bad."  She didn't change anything about how she lived though.

 

When I hit puberty I suddenly became aware that we didn't have a bathroom bin.  I was left wondering what the Hell I did with the packets and wrappers from my sanitary wear.  I would try and smuggle them through the house to the kitchen bin without my brothers seeing them, but even this I found a little disgusting.  My mum's solution to this problem was to tuck her wrappers into one of the three overflowing toilet bags she had on the bathroom floor.  She never seemed to get around to emptying them out though so there would be used tampon tubes and such on display in the bathroom, which I found mortifying! We only had one bathroom so if any of our friends came around they were being exposed to this as well.  That's how I came to spend my pocket money on a bathroom bin when I was only 13.  I had asked my mum to buy one, but as usual she didn't think we needed it.

 

The house was a tip!  There was always dirty dishes lying around, not even in the kitchen waiting to be washed, but in the sitting room!  There would be plates and cups and glasses dotted around the room.  It was disgusting! My mum and her boyfriend used to go away for holidays, leaving us to look after our younger brother with our grand parents on hand if we needed anything. As soon as they were out the door I would start stripping the house so that I could clan and tidy everything.

 

Time after time I would organise cupboards, put systems in place to keep on top of the mess, but no one else would keep to them.  Eventually it wuld just end up back where it started.  It was soul destroying and I can't say how much I hated it.

 

There was just a complete lack of care or thought about the house or it's contents.  I used to get sooo frustrated that we didn't have simple everyday things that you needed, or if we did have them, then they would be broken or useless.

 

This is where I learned that if you were unhappy with something in your home, then you could buy something that would make it better. Then, you could organise it!

 

As a teenager I bought: mugs, a bathroom bin, cutlery, a pen pot, a utensil holder, folders and box files, laundry baskets for the bedrooms, a basket to carry the clean washing, rubber bath mats, shower curtains, kitchen knives, tupperware, a butter dish, oven trays, cupboard organisers, bedding, vacuum storage bags, clothes protectors, storage boxes.  The list goes on.

 

In a rebellion to how I was brought up, my home had everything! It was the opposite of my mum's house, everything was carefully considered and cared for.  I had to have the right thing for every task, everything had a place where it had to go. I'm kinda OCD about things going in the right place, and tidiness.  I can't have dishes sitting beside the sink, they must be washed, and I hate to leave the house if there's any mess at all.  It must be tidied away before I go out or I feel like shit when I get back in. 

 

For several years I lived in a caravan (a trailer to those across the pond) and that taught me even more about organisation and how to be tidy with a lot of stuff in a small space.  I'm intrigued by the though of minimalism, but I'm not sure if I could ever give up The Stuff.  I don't feel overwhelmed by my possessions, and my house is always neat and tidy without any clutter.  You would never guess just how much lies (neatly tucked away) beneath the surface.

 

It would be interesting for me to have a look at what I own and decide if there is scope for me to thin it down... I'll keep reading about everything you guys are doing and see if I can make any of that work for me.  

 

PS. Sorry for going off topic slightly

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Wow...Guzzi, your childhood home situation sounds like it was foul. And here I thought I was a lazy shit with the laundry haha! You are the cleaning savior!

 

As for minimalism: I'm currently trying to find a balance between having The Stuff and having free space at the same time. It's...difficult. I just want enough free space in my room to do NF Yoga ;P

[Heidi]

And someone asked cleaning up advice on another forum, and then I wrote this.

I love this post.

I wish I could bookmark it.

[Heidi]

Hahaha,.. Weeelll, that was depressing.

 

I've been trying to declutter for such a long time, and I guess I've been making progress, but the fact that it can turn into a decades-long process is just...ugh.

 

I have one week left in this challenge to finish decluttering my room :| After reading this, though, it feels like I'm doomed to fail. Maybe I can do all of the decluttering except for one item on the list...

 

And this is just one room. Gaaaahhh. At least I know this is normal now?

Of course it's a decades long process; it's a new way of life.

Yes,dear one. This is normal. And yes, it does get better.

[Guzzi]

Wow...Guzzi, your childhood home situation sounds like it was foul. And here I thought I was a lazy shit with the laundry haha! You are the cleaning savior!

Thank you! :blush:

The problem for me is that I now associate buying things with making things better. I spend stupid amounts of money on pens and notepads and filling boxes and storage solutions. But what if I was able to let that go...? Could I?

I like the idea of not spending money frivolously, but when the amount of Stuff I have gets just that little bit more and I just need that one thing that will make it tidy and therefore better. What will I do then???

I don't know. For now it's enough to think about it and just let the idea ferment for a while. it might be something I can work towards in my own way.

[TMedina]

That's one of the traps of "Stuff".  Not only do we have Stuff, but we spend money to organize the Stuff.  Which, if we don't need the Stuff to begin with...

 

For me, I am very much an "out of sight, out of mind" person - which is probably why I have three or four sweatshirts, three or four fleece pull overs...well, you get the idea.  I bought hangers to organize my stuff, then I was debating boxes to pack them away for the season...I'm buying organizing stuff for my Stuff!

 

I know that I get a certain emotional high from cleaning, and organizing.  It's me,exerting my will on the chaos of my life.  The more insecure or frustrated I am, the more likely I am to buy "that thing" that will make everything better, or alright, or that I've always wanted.  And then I have to organize it, right?  My very own self-perpetuating trap.

 

The first link in the chain is to stop buying Stuff as an emotional placebo - given my day at work, it's going to be a long, tedious project.  But that's my path, at the moment.

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

My current trap is fabric and cosplay supplies X( I've been holding off on buying more fabric (mainly because I already have enough collected for my next two projects...I hope) but the cosplay supplies are taking over my life. I DO need/use them, but wow, does that stuff ever multiply.

[Guzzi]

Ha! Yes, I understand the multiplying supplies.  Since I've been relegated to the couch for several months whilst I await an operation to get me back on my feet I've taken up sewing.  Whodda thought sewing (SEWING FER FECKS SAKE!) could require soooooo much stuff!?!? 

 

I've been making hammocks and beds for the furry critters in our lives. I now own eyelet making tools, wadding, TONS of fabric, disappearing markers, fabric clamps.  Dear God, I swear it would be cheaper just to buy the bloody things. *sigh*

[TMedina]

Yes, but that's not the actual point, is it?

[TMedina]

Sudden epiphany - the road to minimalism: buy like a Vulcan!  "Is this logical?  Why am I buying this?  Do I need this?  Or do I want it?  Fascinating."

[Ahyar Dreamspark]

Sudden epiphany - the road to minimalism: buy like a Vulcan!  "Is this logical?  Why am I buying this?  Do I need this?  Or do I want it?  Fascinating."

 

THIS! I did this twice last weekend. Sort of. I really wanted this specific pair of shoes.

 

"The shoes look kickass, but what will I wear these with?"

 

The answer turned out to be that I don't really have anything that I can wear these shoes with. And that I am also currently trying to get rid of shoes that I never wear.

 

Clutter prevention: success!

[Groove]

   My Wife and I recently got rid of just about everything, bought a 33' travel trailer, traded my beloved Volvo C30R for a truck, and headed cross-country from New York to Oregon. We had a series of yard-sales, then we called the local auction house and had them cart away everything else. We rented out our house and hit the road. We have a 9-year old Son who's the ultimate gamer, so we set his bunkhouse up with a flat screen tv and his PS4, I've been home schooling him since September, so far so good.

 

Everything we currently own shown here:

 

[Mitchilich]

Two things I wanted to share / mention since this topic appealed to me;

 

One, minimalism can exist in training also.  I did not sift through all the pages of this thread, so if someone mentioned this, I apologize.  But check out StrongFirst website, and most of Pavel Tsatsouline's work.  Power to the People comes to mind.  Extreme minimalism in training, and it works very well over a short to intermediate amount of time.

 

Second, in my opinion only, the concept of decluttering is less of a material world & activities issue, and more of a mind issue.  I plan the work activities of more than 30 people every day of the week, and handle all the logistics that go into it.. time, parts, tracking, contracts, etc...  Some days I feel like the next person to ask me anything they can figure out for themselves is going to get the taste slapped out of their mouth. 

 

What I have been trying to develop is a version of controlled apathy.  I care, but not enough to not be able to let go of it.  This has helped a lot.  I cannot overstate that.  The volume remains the same, but my perception shift is what declutters my mind.

[Raincloak]

I finally ordered a copy of that famous "Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up" book.  When it's helped me rid myself of crap (and I seriously think it will, the ten minutes I spent reading it in the bookstore helped already), I will pass the book on to someone else.

 

Guzzi, I hear you on the homemaking.  When I got my first solo apartment I just couldn't believe how many things I had to buy and move into it (like trash cans, or a toilet plunger) to make it civilized.  I'm a firm believer in household mitosis, so previously I mooched things like dishes and towels from people who had extras, but when it came to actually setting up a bare-walls place ... phew.  Living like that for a few weeks can teach a lot about what one doesn't need, but also about what one DOES need.  Can one live without shower curtains?  Well yes, but mopping a flooded bathroom every morning is such a drag.  So one might as well buy a single set of curtains that looks nice, and just put up with having to clean them every few months.

 

my heaps of paper and used books, on the other hand..... now those are just taking up space.... some people associate happiness with clothes.  I associate it with books.

[pureleeawesome]

I finally ordered a copy of that famous "Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up" book.  When it's helped me rid myself of crap (and I seriously think it will, the ten minutes I spent reading it in the bookstore helped already), I will pass the book on to someone else.

 

I bought my copy last night.

 

Minimalistic and tidy times ahead!

[Raincloak]

Book just shipped but hasn't arrived.  Meanwhile, my back hurts, I've spent most of the week housebound, rent is due and I can't find my checkbook.  I swear I really, really did put it in this drawer six weeks ago, and it ain't there now.  I practically took the cabinet apart and checked everywhere else I've ever put the damn thing.  No luck.

 

 Then I started ripping into some storage boxes just to be doing something, even though my checkbook isn't in any of them.  I did find a lot of stuff I'd been missing, such as the shredder attachment to my food processor (yay, hash browns!) and a laptop I'd forgotten I still owned.  But no checkbook.  

 

Meanwhile, I threw away a lot of old papers, shreddables and receipts from 2013.  

 

So much regret.  Bye bye, unused coupons.  Adios, unreplied messages.

 

so I started composing a little ditty, to the tune of "Bye Bye Love."  It goes like this:

 

Bye bye, stuff

Bye bye, paper mess

Hello, emptiness

I feel like I could fly

 

There goes my clutter

To someplace new

I hope it's happy

I sure am too

 

It was my clutter

Till it went in the bin

Goodbye to Chaos

That once had been

 

I'm through with hoarding

I'm into space

I'm through with counting

The material race

 

And here's the reason

That I'm so free

My heap of clutter

Is through with me

 

...

 

anyway that's about as far as I got.  I wanted to take this paper out to the beach and light it on fire but there's plastic in there and I'm too lazy to sort it all yet again.  I think I'll just dump it in the recycling, and instead plot to burn my college notebooks (which I still haven't let go of).

 

I recommend drinking a bit and blasting music when decluttering.  It takes the edge off.

 

My apartment doesn't look any better, since the boxes were in a closet.  But now the closet has fewer boxes, replaced by the soothing sight of shelves full of books.  Ahhh, books.  Nothing cheers my soul quite like a well stocked bookshelf.  Even though half the books on it are dreadful college textbooks I paid a fortune for, barely read, and now need to get rid of...

[miss_marissa]

Book just shipped but hasn't arrived.  Meanwhile, my back hurts, I've spent most of the week housebound, rent is due and I can't find my checkbook.  I swear I really, really did put it in this drawer six weeks ago, and it ain't there now.  I practically took the cabinet apart and checked everywhere else I've ever put the damn thing.  No luck.

 

 Then I started ripping into some storage boxes just to be doing something, even though my checkbook isn't in any of them.  I did find a lot of stuff I'd been missing, such as the shredder attachment to my food processor (yay, hash browns!) and a laptop I'd forgotten I still owned.  But no checkbook.  

 

Meanwhile, I threw away a lot of old papers, shreddables and receipts from 2013.  

 

So much regret.  Bye bye, unused coupons.  Adios, unreplied messages.

 

so I started composing a little ditty, to the tune of "Bye Bye Love."  It goes like this:

 

 

 

anyway that's about as far as I got.  I wanted to take this paper out to the beach and light it on fire but there's plastic in there and I'm too lazy to sort it all yet again.  I think I'll just dump it in the recycling, and instead plot to burn my college notebooks (which I still haven't let go of).

 

I recommend drinking a bit and blasting music when decluttering.  It takes the edge off.

 

My apartment doesn't look any better, since the boxes were in a closet.  But now the closet has fewer boxes, replaced by the soothing sight of shelves full of books.  Ahhh, books.  Nothing cheers my soul quite like a well stocked bookshelf.  Even though half the books on it are dreadful college textbooks I paid a fortune for, barely read, and now need to get rid of...

I feel like college textbooks are the one thing that I actually do still need to keep, as I reference them regularly. I do wish the 2 bookshelves full could be condensed!

 

Yay engineering?

[Raincloak]

My Amazon package arrived!  Yes, my house has a few new things in it now, but they're all things I truly wanted, so there.

 

Read through the KonMari book, which took a disappointingly short time, but I guess her advice doesn't even take as many pages as she had to say it anyway.  It basically boils down to what everyone's been saying: pare down to what makes you joyous, treat your stuff nice, the rest you don't need.  Those claims about doing it all at once and never relapsing are pretty tall, but I'm taking that with a bit of salt.

 

This morning there was a massive gas explosion in my town that leveled a few buildings.  So I was meditating on attachment, stuff, and my beloved waterfront apartment.  How would I feel if my apartment building blew up?  I would be sad, but I think it wouldn't break my heart, because at least it's not my dream house.  I always knew this place wouldn't be mine forever (it's a rental), I've been lucky to have it this long, and if I have to leave it someday I will manage with a minimum of regret, because I will be happy I had it while it lasted.

 

The mystery is why I don't feel the same about things that actually belong to me...

[Jothra]

Marie Kondo and I have very different different feelings about books.

[alienjenn]

Sudden epiphany - the road to minimalism: buy like a Vulcan!  "Is this logical?  Why am I buying this?  Do I need this?  Or do I want it?  Fascinating."

 

^^^^^^ me too

 

 

 

 

I noticed it the other day in walmart... I had picked something up and was like oh man I LOVE that.... then I thought where will it go... when we move in may where will it live... what tub will it go in... do I NEED it... what will I use it with?? then I set it down

 

 

also... when I straighten things I have been doing the same thing... I have gotten rid of EVEN MORE stove... I have like 6 garbage bags full of things that I intend to leave in the apartment in virginia when we head to the next assignment... and I have gotten rid of COUNTLESS things... we haven't used this since we moved here TOSS IT... whatever... also I have upgraded some things to be more durable or compact TOSS THE OLD ONE!!! 

 

my plan is to buy a small trailer that we can pull behind the car before the next trip (end of may)... when we moved here we had a 6X12 trailer and didn't fill up half of it (an enclosed one)... I want to buy a 4X6 open trailer... I think there is no reason I can't fit everything I own (and/or that I need for 13 weeks ) into one of those

 

it is amazing how easy it is to get rid of stuff once you start

[Waldo]

Moving is a wonderful way to ditch all your unnecessary stuff.

 

We moved about a year and a half ago, before we moved we were ruthless in decluttering to sell the house, and even more ruthless when it came to packing stuff to move.

 

Though moving brought the opposite problem, a big empty house, which can be quite unsettling as well.  Filling it to appropriate levels has been quite a marathon, our preschoolers room is still the only one in the house that doesn't feel a bit too empty. 

[AngellaMarie]

I've been toying with the idea of minimalism for a while. Not full-blown "I own 5 outfits and that's it" but really, why all the boxes of crap? We are almost done packing for a move to the next state over, where we will live in a small apartment until we buy a house, so a lot of stuff will go in storage. I have been brutal going through my stuff before the move and I plan on being even more ruthless when we get into a house. Like the pair of pants I unpacked that still had tags on it from high school. Assuming I ever get small enough to get into them again - will I wear them?? It's been 12 years now and I've got a long way to go. Also, I started checking inseams...I'm 6'1" and I'm too damn old (30, lol) to be messing with pants that are too short. If I'm spending the money they're going to be long enough. 

 

Also I have a problem with relatives (especially my husband's grandma) trying to give us stuff! She downsized from a house to a 1-bedroom senior living apartment recently and refuses to let go of her Stuff. She thinks it's all valuable and gets insulted when antique dealers don't agree. You can't walk or sit in her apartment. I can't deal with it - I've got my own Stuff making me crazy. The house we sold was a 4-bedroom with a large formal dining/living room area and a giant (and beautiful) kitchen. I know the next house will be smaller, for several reasons, and I only want to keep the quality things that I like! Since all of our furniture were hand-me-downs or second-hand except our bedroom set we've managed to purge all but the necessary furniture. And I don't want anyone else's Stuff. When we get into our next house and need furniture I want to do the research, figure out what colors and fabrics I want, and spend money on what I (we) want! Then have quality pieces that will last a long time.

 

Thanks for reading my rant! My family keeps giving me the side eye and I can see them thinking "Angella, chill out." 

 

This weekend it's all over and we'll be fully moved into my tiny apartment. I know already that there's going to be a little too much Stuff in the apartment but I'll just purge until I'm comfortable.