Movie One Liners with a Fitness Twist

[Mark D]

The line doesn't even need to be changed:

 

A man's got to know his limitations.

[insanity]

I don't know what to say, really. Three minutes to the biggest battle of your ironbound lives. All comes down to now, and either, you lift as a unit, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, pound by pound. Until you're finished. You're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And, we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outta hell... one inch at a time. Now I can't do it for ya, this is on you. I look around, I see these sweaty arms and I think, I mean, I've made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I, uh, I've pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who's ever loved me. And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror. You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches, so is lifting. Because in either game - life or lifting - the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a rep too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow, too fast and you don't quite rack it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They're in every break of the workout, every minute, every second. On this rep we fight for that inch. On this rep we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when add up all those inches, that's gonna make the fucking difference between lifting and collapsing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this, in any rep it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch. And I know, if I'm gonna have any life anymore it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch, because that's what living is, the six inches above your face. Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the weights before you, look into it's soul. Now I think your going to see a weight who will fight that inch against you. You're gonna see a weight who will try to break you for this rep, because it knows when it comes down to it your gonna do the same to it. That's a lift, gentlemen, and either, we heal, now, as a unit, or we will die as pieces. That's lifting guys, that's all it is. Now, what are you gonna do?

 

[Mark D]

How about:
 
Get busy lifting, or get busy dying.  (Shawshank Redemption)
 
Get off of my bench!  (Gran Torino)

 

Life is deadlifting Princess.  Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.  (The Princess Bride)

 

You keep using the squat rack for curls.  I don't think the squat rack is for what you think it's for.  (Ditto)

 

“Well, what can I tell you? Life in the gym goes on much as it has this past Age, full of its own comings and goings, scarcely aware of the existence of Smith machines, for which I am very thankful.† (LOTR)

 

and because it's profane, I put the next under the spoiler.  If it's too much let me know and I'll edit
 

Who partial squatted?  Who the fuck partial squatted?  Who's the slimy little son of a bitch twinkle toed cocksucker down here who didn't go parallel?   Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother partial squatted! Out-fucking-standing! I will P.T. you all until you fucking go parallel! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking muscle milk.  (Full Metal Jacket)

 

 

[Oramac]

Who partial squatted?  Who the fuck partial squatted?  Who's the slimy little son of a bitch twinkle toed cocksucker down here who didn't go parallel?   Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother partial squatted! Out-fucking-standing! I will P.T. you all until you fucking go parallel! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking muscle milk.  (Full Metal Jacket)

 

That was great!  Best part of those lines is they were almost all ad-libbed by R. Lee Ermy.  

[Rurik Harrgath]

To be said to a coach, or ideally, a Crossfit judge after a 'no rep':

"Oh, you. You just couldn’t let me rep, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You are truly incorruptible, aren’t you? Huh? You won’t score me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won’t quit this workout because it's too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever."

 

"Don't talk like you're one of them!  You're not, even if you'd like to be.  To them you're just a freak, like me.  They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out—like a leper.  See, their smith machines, their "cleanses"…it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of donuts.  They're only as good as the scale allows them to be.  I'll show you, when the chips and salsa are gone, these—ah—"civilised people"?  They'll eat each other.  See, I'm not a meathead.  I'm just ahead of the curve."

(I hope this is good *prays*)

 

That was incredible.  I tried an homage to your greatness, but I just fell short.

 

/bow

[Ensi]

"There is no word for 'smith machine' in Dothraki."

 

ok, not a movie but eh?

[Cat in the rack]

 

"Honestly Ron, how could anyone work two muscle groups at once?"

 

Inspired by a dream I had last night where I used a time turner so that I could go to the gym every day. Unfortunately, Emma Watson did not feature in this dream.

[Rurik Harrgath]

Inspired by a dream I had last night where I used a time turner so that I could go to the gym every day. Unfortunately, Emma Watson did not feature in this dream.

 

I lol'd.  Well played, my man.  Well played indeed.

[Pherales]

"I love the smell of post-workout in the morning."

 

I thought this one was kinda obvious, and needed to be said >_>

[SevenofSeven]

Arnie in Predator!

" Hurry get to the Squat rack! "

Not sure if that one had been used or not.

[DrVornoff]

Tonight we dine on kale!

 

Hello.  My name is Inigo Montoya.  You stole my butter.  Prepare to diet.

 

HOW'D IT GET BUFF, HOW'D IT GET BUFF!!??

 

I flex in your general direction.  Your mother was a traceur and your father smelt of tiger balm.

[BlackTezca]

To be said to a coach, or ideally, a Crossfit judge after a 'no rep':

"Oh, you. You just couldn’t let me rep, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You are truly incorruptible, aren’t you? Huh? You won’t score me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won’t quit this workout because it's too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever."

 

 

That was incredible.  I tried an homage to your greatness, but I just fell short.

 

/bow

 

Your quote was pretty damn awesome as well!

[Cat in the rack]

 

"The only time 'curls' come before 'squats' is in the dictionary."

[StillWaters]

Under spoiler tags for naughty words.

 

"Say 'toned' again. Say! 'Toned'! Again! I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucka. Say 'toned one more god-damned time!" 

 

 

 

[Rurik Harrgath]

 

I love this take on Jorah Mormont's iconic quote from Game of Thrones.  It speaks to me (if it were male-oriented, haha)!

[Mark D]

A couple more I had to add:

 

Moods are for cattle and love-play, you deadlift on deadlift day.  (Dune)

 

There's more to being a lifter than running around in a singlet trying to get laid.  (Blackadder)

 

That was almost, but not quite, exactly unlike parallel.  (Hitchhikers Guide)

 

I suggest a new stragegy R2, let the Wookie curl in the power rack.  (Star Wars)

 

I love the smell of chalk in the morning.  It smells like deadlifting.  (Apocalypse Now)

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

There's more to being a lifter than running around in a singlet trying to get laid.  (Blackadder)

 

There is?

[Mark D]

Thor: I have no plans to be injured today

Heimdall:  None do.

 

 

Leonidas:  Madness?  This is deadlift day!

 

 

Andy Defrense:  Get busy lifting, or get busy dying.

 

 

Vizzini:  I went parallel!

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word.  Do not think it means what you think it means.

 

 

 

Hulk: Puny bro.

 

 

Tony Stark: lright. Hey. Alright. Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried crossfit? There's a crossfit box about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.

 

 

 

Zoë: If they take the gym they will squat, bench press, and barbell row, and if we're very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.

 

 

(Edited because I had Tony Stark looking for Shawarma in a crossfit box. )

[Oramac]

Zoë: If they take the gym they will squat, bench press, and barbell row, and if we're very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.

 

Liking for this one.  RIP Firefly.  

[Mark D]

Liking for this one.  RIP Firefly.  

 

Definitely one of the best sci-fi TV shows ever, nearly as good as the original Star Trek.

[Why not?]

I suggest a new stragegy R2, let the Wookie curl in the power rack.  (Star Wars)

 

Fantastic.

 

Vizzini:  I went parallel!

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word.  Do not think it means what you think it means.

 

Even more fantastic.

[Mark D]

I had to revisit this one:

 

Zoë: If they take the gym they will curl in the squat rack, get chalk on EVERYTHING, and spray themselves with AXE, and if we're very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.

 

Better?

[Cat in the rack]

From the trailer for the new batman versus superman movie:

"Do you squat?... You will."

[Rurik Harrgath]

Tony Stark: lright. Hey. Alright. Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried crossfit? There's a crossfit box about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.

...

 

(Edited because I had Tony Stark looking for Shawarma in a crossfit box. )

 

I wish my Crossfit box had shawarma.

[Raincloak]

oh movie lines ... hmm.

 

Independence Day:  "You know, this was supposed to be my weekend off.  But nooooo... You had to come down here with that pizza and pop, packing all big and bad.  Now I get to drag those heavy ass weights back to the rack, with a towel sticking out the back of my shorts.  You had to come down here with an attitude.  And what the hell's that SMELL??  RRRAAAAAGH!  I coulda been at a BARBECUE!!"