Stuck In A Huge Rut (i have not posted in a long while)

[Damaramu]

Hello everyone.

 

I have not posted in a long long while. I am definitely in need of a respawn. Let me give you my backstory, the current situation I'm in and my respawn plan and my fears associated with it.

 

WARNING- This will be a long post

 

So I've been overweight pretty much my entire life. In high school I didn't play any sports and I was pretty lazy. I'd come home from school, kill some chips or other junk food then play video games all evening. It was not a recipe for success.

 

When I made it to college at the University of Oklahoma (boomer sooner baby) I took an interest in sports and I began to wish I had played sports in high school. I started working out doing stuff I found in magazines and eventually joined the rugby team. I was never in the shape I needed to be though, but I lost weight. After that I started doing kickboxing at a local gym and judo and I really started to lose weight but I always remained chubby because of my eating habits.

 

Well college ends, I move away for a job and balloon up again. I start working out in my new town and lose a bit of weight. I then move back to Oklahoma and start playing rugby again. At the same time I start doing a linear progression with barbell movements and eating a more paleo diet. I start to lose a lot of weight and I'm performing well at rugby. I even start working out at a Crossfit gym.

 

Then in 2010 it all went to hell. I broke my kneecap, spent most of the year rehabbing, gained weight, had a baby, had to have knee surgery at the end of the year and then caught my wife cheating on me in 2011. Since then I've program hopped and not been able to keep up with a consistent diet.

 

I came to Nerd Fitness last year, but like everything else I eventually ran away and hopped to something else. I'm not sure what the mental barrier that's messing with me is but I know excuses need to be stopped and it needs to be torn down.

 

That's not to say I haven't done good things over the last 5 years. I competed in some powerlifting competitions and achieved a personal best 420 squat, 516 deadlift and 315 bench.

 

But at the same time I'm the heaviest I've ever been right now and that strength has fallen off too. I can tell I have more muscle mass than I ever have, but the fat is present.

 

Currently I'm 6'4" and I weigh 325 pounds. I wear a size 48 waist pants and I have now started to dip into the dreaded 3X size for my shirts (after cursing myself over the last 5 years that I let myself go back to 2X).

 

I cannot seem to get out of a rut at the gym. Every program or routine I want to try I fall off of because I get bored with it very quickly or decide I don't like it. Somedays in the gym I find myself wandering aimlessly trying to find something to do.

 

I have a real problem with paralysis by analysis. I think of a movement I want to do, but then I think "Wait if I work that then I need to work this too to prevent imbalance!" Then the movement I want to work to prevent the imbalance I don't want to do because of a myriad of BS reasons.

 

Also most days where I do anything with my lower body is a soul-crushing and pain filled day. My knees feel and sound like bubble wrap. Most squat days and even deadlift days are filled with pain and agony. I also have very tight hips and groin so that makes it hard to get into the right position and that bothers me into not doing lower body movements either. On top of that my right ankle has just decided it does not want to be mobile at all and it messes with my squat.

 

So what do I do? I have a few ideas for my respawn and I want to know what you guys think about it.

 

First and foremost let's address diet. Mine sucks. Mainly because I eat out way too much. I have a plan to stop this though. I bought a crockpot with a timer on it. My plan is to cook something tasty in the crockpot every day or every other day and eat the results for dinner.

On top of this I will resume intermittent fasting and not eat breakfast.

My lunch isn't the best food to eat, but it's going to be the best for my situation. You see when I bring my lunch I usually decide the food does not appetize me and I don't want to eat it and it ends up sitting in the fridge at work while I go eat something terrible.

But I have a solution. I love peanut butter and jelly. So I've bought natural peanut butter, whole grain bread and sugar free jelly (where the ingredients are pretty much just the fruit). I will make myself a decent PB&J along with a glass of milk every day for lunch. Hopefully if I do that long enough it will curb my desire to eat out at lunch.

 

 

Now on to my workouts. It's become obvious to me I'm not going to find a program I like RIGHT NOW. That's not to say I won't get into something. But giong to the gym just hasn't been fun for me at all for the last year or so. That's going to change because I'm going to cast imbalance worries and other things aside and just work on things I find fun.

What do I find fun?

-Overhead presses. Seriously nothing is more fun to me than putting a ton of weight over my head

-Kettlebell swings. The gym I go to at lunch has kettlebells and I love to swing those things

-Goblet Squats. It's the only lower body movement I can do relatively pain free

-Walking. that's right. The weather is getting nice and we have a very nice 9 mile walking trail that goes around a lake up here. I am going to start walking around it as much as possible.

 

So what will I do with those?

 

At lunches I will go to the gym by my work at least three times a week and do some heavy overhead presses. In between sets of that I will do kettlebell swings. I will finish up with high rep goblet squats using the kettlebell.

 

At least two times a week I will go walk around the lake or another park and see how many miles I can put on my new shoes. During the walks I may even step off to the side of the trail and perform the basic bodyweight workout.

 

I want to make fitness more of a lifestyle than a regiment. I have other ideas to get fitness in. My son is four and he loves to play soccer and I'm the coach of his team. I like to run with the kids at practice and play keep away with the ball. That gets my heart rate up. My son also likes to wrestle with me. So I get some exercise tossing a large for his age four year old around. Plus we like to walk around the zoo and that's good exercise.

 

Plus I have additional motivation. On February 13 of this year I got engaged to a wonderful woman. She's very supportive and she's absolutely wonderful with my son and he loves her and calls her his second mom. We probably won't get married until next year, but I want to look good come wedding time. Our wedding won't be traditional and she's already given me the okay to wear dark jeans, a button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a vest to get married in. I want to look good in this outfit and not feel like I'm going to bust the buttons off the vest.

 

After several weeks (or months) of this I'm hoping that I'm leaner and the weight coming off helps my knees and I can have fun with powerlifting movements again.

 

So that's my plan to respawn. I'm hoping that I can respawn and I won't have to respawn a second time.

 

My big fear is that if I'm not weight training enough I will begin to lose fat and I will get saggy and have too much excess skin because I'm not building muscle. I know that's a silly vanity fear but it's one that I do harbor.

 

 

So.....how do you like my respawn?

 

TL:DR- I used to workout, I got injured and depressed, all gains stopped, I program hopped and now I know I need to stop that crap.

 

[JesterShay]

Boomer Sooner! Sounds like you've been through a lot. But it also sounds like you're trying to be realistic about what you can do. Certainly doing something you enjoy at the gym is better than something you hate.

Whereabouts in Oklahoma are you? I'm in Norman. I just respawned recently too.

[Damaramu]

I live in Moore as of now but I'll be moving off NW Expressway in the summer.

[peelout]

Glad to hear your getting back on the path again.  

I'm a bit of the opposite of you.  I used to make lots of plans for all the things I wanted to change at the same time whenever I would get up the motivation to start again.  Trouble was there were some many opportunities for failure.  I'd do some things right each day but fail other things, then tell myself it was OK cause at least I did some things right.  Trouble was that would allow me to make excuses for not doing some things and before long I wasn't keeping any of my promises.  This was an endless cycle for years.  My wife joked that I had a healthy lifestyle about 4 months out of the year, 1 month every quarter.  Late last year I started focusing on only 1 thing at a time, but made sure I got it right each time.  I do these long enough to allow them to become habits.  Since I started this, I've created 6 habits which I never fail to keep.  I'm not suggesting you change your current plan and try that this time.  But if there is a next respawn, give it some thought then.  Duhiggs book "The Power of Habit" is what got me started on this.  

[Damaramu]

Well I started today with my fun workout.

 

I did IF and didn't eat breakfast. I did not eat until close to 1 p.m. today. I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and had a small glass of milk.

Before that I did a set of 5 with 135 in overhead press and then did 20 KB swings with a 53 lb KB. Then I did 5 more OHP and 15 KB swings. Then 8 OHP and 10 swings then 8 OHP and 10 swings.

Then I did 2x10 goblet squats with the KB and did 5 more swings.

 

It wasn't a structured workout or anything like that but I felt like I did some good and I was definitely panting and having fun.

[Br0din]

I completely understand the get fat, get in shape, lose weight, get hurt, get lazy, get fat cycle.  Make a plan, be disciplined, don't make excuses and do it (until you get hurt again  )

 

no luck giving, everything you do will be earned!!  

[JesterShay]

Woohoo! Good job! I'm not a weight lifter, but those weights sound pretty heavy. 135 on overhead press sounds super impressive.

[Damaramu]

135 is light! Haha. I used to be able to overhead press 205. I'll get back there one day.

My lower back definitely feels worked by those KB swings today.

[Damaramu]

5x8 with 135 on OHP with 15 KB swings and 5 goblet squats in between today.

 

I think I need to start a battle log.

[JesterShay]

Do it!  Or at least keep track of your numbers in a notebook.  That's what I'm doing right now.

[Damaramu]

I'll start one if someone will teach me again how to make it apper in my signature. I don't know the HTML code.

 

Part of the reason I didn't want to keep a log is because I am just doing random fun stuff in the gym right now. I have no plan.

[hybrid756]

I like it!

 

Having been through a whole world of stress-from-every-direction for the past 4-5 years, I get what you're saying. Making it fun is the absolute best way to get back into it. I just read something on NF about exercise being an additive habit, and diet being a substitutive habit... You're eating anyway, so it's easier to change that. Where I'm going with this is that you're carving out time for working out by making it fun. Once it sticks as a habit, a part of your everyday life, you can get right on into making whatever strength gains you want again, because you're not attaching a program to your life like some kind of chore. God knows it sounds like you need some more awesome in your life! So, congratulations on the happy relationship and engagement, and I can just tell you've got completely the right attitude for a successful respawn.

 

Keep up the good work!

[Damaramu]

So I want to start a battle log but I don't want to until I know how to put the link in my signature. Any help?

[Br0din]

go you your profile -->  edit profile ----> signature.  then enter your text and hyperlink it.

[Damaramu]

That's much easier than entering the code, which I'm pretty sure I used to have to do.