Conquered Warrior Dash

[Capt Inzane]

Sorry this is so long. There will be a TLTR at the end.

 

It's Friday April 10th and I normally work until midnight. I'm driving home at 10pm to prepare for what may the toughest physical challenge of my life. I'm excited, scared, and tired. I hadn't slept the night before as I wanted to crash hard on Friday. Go home, hit the bed and hope for the best. Next thing I know my alarm goes off at 5am and I'm up. You have no idea how much of an accomplishment this is as I'm normally going to bed around 5am. I'm shocked! Then realization sets in and I know I'm up and know my friend is counting on me. I've bailed on him before when we were supposed to sign up for the Savage Race....I can't bail on him now. My hero code won't allow it!

Before I could chicken out I send the text and make sure he's on his way. I'm slowly putting on my gear and trying to think of a way I can train in the next hour. Fast forward and we're there at 7:30 am two hours before my wave. The air is filled with electric energy even though most people (me included) are wearing very little clothing and the sun hasn't warmed our bones. I see everyone stretching and preparing and in my mind I'm thinking of a way out. Maybe I can fake my own death....a bit too traumatic but you didn't see the 30 ft wall that I saw in front of me. I knew it'd be a tough ass climb above that thing. I mean I'm 300 lbs what if one of the obstacles doesn't hold me .. FEAR! It had creeped in without me even knowing it and quickly DOUBT followed.

I looked at my friend and made a few nervous jokes but he reassured me and was extremely supportive. Flames are erupting in the air along with battle cries and what in my head was the sound of warriors who would later run me over as I lay on the side of the trail dying. Then it's my wave as the announcer pumps the crowd for war I realize this is it!

 

BAM/BOOM/KAPOW! It's off at first I was like this isn't so bad then we run up the side of a mountain. It's a grueling adventure that takes my breath from me and reduces me to a scrabbling goblin. Yet I tell myself I must go on this is for glory this is FOR SPARTA! As I continue my trek up the side of the hill err mountain people are cheering, conversating, and having fun. I start to relax and breath normally and just enjoy this for what it was a nice stroll through some nice scenery. Then came the first obstacle a three foot mound of dirt. I kind of laughed as I thought "I'm worried about this!?" I quickly run up the side of the mound only to stop dead in my tracks. There was an 8 foot ditch in front of me I looked around and laughed as I was like "who's going to push me?". I slide down the mound and then I'm stuck looking at a 12 ft wall of Georgia mud and clay. As I battle my way toward the top of this cliff I'm thinking to myself "ah I'm getting dirty :(". Then the brain kicks in and says "TEH HELL WITH THAT AND THIS WALL" I climb to the top only to see a 12 ft drop this time and an even larger wall. I look to the Warrior Dash personnel with an even look as I realize I was tricked! None the less this is what Warriors are made of and I'll be damned if I'm not a Warrior! 

 

Fast forward to my arch nemesis .... the WALL! It's a 30 ft wall with a rope attached at the top dangling down as to taunt me. I tried twice to start the strenuous climb to the top and failed. Luckily a fellow Warrior showed me some tips and off I was. 5 ft in the air than another 10 ft HOLY CRAP I'm doing this!! I get to around 25 ft in the air and then disaster struck. My right calf betrayed me!! It start shaking in defiance, how dare my calf do this to me! I continued up the wall with only another 5 ft to go I got this! Onlookers below so my calf and asked if I was ok. I was in the zone I was going to do this or DIE! I pull myself up and then charlie horse! Oh how I wanted to stretch but at 27+ ft in the air it wasn't possible. With determination I pulled myself up this gigantic wall proceeded to bask in the cheers of my fellow Warriors. I had done it!! I was so relieved as I didn't think I could do it. Then I had to figure out how to get down.....

 

After the charlie horse I was unable to run but was able to keep a mild jog with more limping on my right leg than actually using it but I'm a Warrior and sometimes Warriors feel pain but they never surrender! Then came the pond...I love to swim especially in the cold I mean hell I've swam when it was snowing and it's one of my favorite memories of swimming. I got this...up until I hit the water. I don't know how but that water felt like I was swimming in ice. Pushing through that's the only goal let's do this!! As I swam across it got easier hell I'm enjoying this swim, hell I'm enjoying this whole thing with a huge smile on my face I continue onward!

 

Fast Forward again and we're at what could only come from a cruel and depraved mind. A cargo net that's resting on water with two platforms you crawl over. I actually thought this would be easy as I trekked my way back into the murky water filled pit. I grab the cargo net and heave myself up. Ah this isn't so bad and as I made it to the first platform BAM!! my left calf seized up and charlie horsed. OH the frustration! I'm around 1/2 way though and my body is failing. I lay on the platform stretching both legs as the charlie horse in the left reminded the one on the right to resurface. Curse my calves!! A friendly lifeguard asked if I was ok, I lay there thinking can I do this? For the realm of Georgia I must do this! I roll over and jump onto the next cargo net pull myself over and swim to the shore.

 

I did it! I made it through what could of been my watery grave! As I look forward I realize there is a path that leads to my next obstacle and I must continue down this path. Limping/walking as no running was happening on my legs I make it to the 11th of 12 obstacles. As what I can only describe as a Chinese finger trap for the body that's suspended in the air 5 ft. Before I can doubt myself I jump in and immediately am stuck. I panic! Oh my god this is embarrassing I'm going to be stuck, they'll have to pull me out or worse cut the ropes around me. I dig deep and free an arm. I pull myself up and make it almost through the entire thing when my right elbow pops out of socket or whatever it did (unfortunately I had injured it a month prior and it hadn't healed all the way). Now I'm screwed I can't get out of this Chinese trap of death. With defeat in my heart I have to go back as I just can't pull myself up over this last little bit. I'm so mad at myself as I clutch my elbow with my heart hanging low.

 

I made it this far I must do this..I slowly walk around the trap and just realize I can't do it. At least not right now. I make a mental note of this obstacle and decide next year...oh next year I'll destroy it! Now onto the last obstacle. I climb up a large ramp using just my left arm, cross a mote of death where water dragons were spraying to knock me off and then I see it. My last challenge, the thing that makes a Warrior a Warrior THE SLIDE!!!! Oh how much fun!! I go down the slide with a look on my face that makes me look ...well I guess like a Warrior lol (stupid face lol). I finish the race get my medal and am extremely relieved.

 

It's been years since I've played in the mud. I remember being a country boy and how far I've strayed. Warrior Dash was my first race and it definitely won't be my last. I've singing up for Savage Race for September 26th 2015 (http://savagerace.com/event/georgia-fall-2015/) and if anyone would like to go with please let me know! We're getting a team together and would love the company. I'm hoping by then to be around 50 lbs lighter and more fit but ALL fitness levels are invited. Let's do this together!!

 

TLTR: I did the Warrior Dash, I'm fat, it was tough but a huge accomplishment for me.

 

ONTO The pictures!!!! Not the best pictures to show off my physique but hey I'm a sex Warrior.

 

OH btw there were a ton and I mean a ton of amazing people there and at one point after the race my brain went into overdrive at the sexiness of all the women. Proud of every single person that was there and thanks for helping me every limp of the way!

[Cheerful Dame]

You overcame so much fear and pain to CONQUER this race. Way to go, Warrior!