Gaming Question - Do I have a problem?

[WillToPower]

I wasn't quite sure if this would fit into any other gaming-related threads that I'd seen, so I decided to make a new topic.
Warning - this post contains the typical WillToPower flood of words.

 

I've always been a fairly casual gamer, but there's been one game/series that's given me some trouble over the years. I won't name names, but suffice to say that it's an RPG-style game that can be played alone or in a PvP fashion. It isn't an MMO, so it doesn't have an ongoing story - for the most part, there's little to do after the main story other than multiplayer/PvP. Anyways, I stopped playing it back in high school, but I never really stopped following the series over the years. After seeing a classmate (I'm now several years into an undergraduate degree) and gaming buddy playing the latest installments, I ended up succumbing to the urge to get back into it, even though I was hesitant - with good reason. Here's why:

 

I currently find myself vacillating between two states: 1) a preoccupation that borders on obsessive/intrusive, a tendency to lose track of time and to keep playing "a few more minutes", perfectionism that leads to hunting/grinding/farming/etc. for perfect skillsets and stats, etc., and 2) a sense of disillusionment and regret where I think that it's not worth the amount of time/thought that I invest into it, a sense of fear that my gaming habits are going to supplant everything else, a sense of shame in knowing that I knew this was going to happen again, etc. (None of which are unfounded). I cycle back and forth between the two...

 

This is an actual e-mail that I sent said gaming buddy, with some slight edits for privacy reasons:

 

"I think I have a problem when it comes to this game. To be honest, I think that I've always known that I'd have a problem with it if I ever got back into it. It's why I stopped in the first place - it became all-consuming without any real benefit or payoff.

 

I'm actually finding that, since I started playing, that I can't focus on anything else. I actually think about it even when the game is turned off and I'm either trying to study for finals or I'm in bed. There are actually a few times this week where I ended up losing track of time and nearly ended up being late for things. I've actually clocked in almost 65 hours already, with little signs of slowing.

 

The biggest problem is that this is during EXAMS.  I'm actually struggling to focus on studying, which is something that I haven't had trouble with in a while. I'm actually worried about tomorrow's exam because I couldn't focus at all this weekend, what with my dad visiting - when my parents are over, you can forget me getting any schoolwork done; it throws me off - as well as me gaming.

 

I'm actually worried about what my marks are going to be like for these finals, especially because the two that I have left are the more difficult ones.

 

The worst part is, I'm actually a little scare about what'll happen when they're over. I mean, I'll have all this time to myself, but I'm afraid that it'll all end up going into gaming. There are things that I want to get done over the summer, like get some photoshoots in, do some research into post-undergrad stuff, or even get my act together and work on building good habits. What if I focus on gaming instead?

 

I have a bad habit of thinking at night, and it's been a few nights that I've realized that I'm more than likely addicted, and not in the best way..."

 

I'm aware that I have a bad habit of going all out when I get into something new, but I think that there's more to it in this case.
This situation has happened before and I knew that I would end up dealing with it again if I started playing again. That alone gives me some suspicions, especially when I compare how I feel about this one game/series to my feelings about any other games that I own.

 

I haven't made any concrete decisions yet, but I'd still like some opinions or advice.

 

Do you think that I have a problem?

[JPrev]

Think you gotta approach it like working out and focus on your discipline.  If you're worried that gaming sucks you in and takes away from other areas of your life, then you'll just have to learn how to be more regimented.  That, or maybe figure out whether or not there are other things in life you could do instead.  Exams obviously aren't the most fun to study for, which is probably intensifying your need to escape and game.  But once they're over and you have time to enjoy the summer, maybe your need to game will decrease if you carve out time for other things you like to do.

 

Gaming is like sitting on the couch instead of working out.  It's easy, relaxing, and something you should totally feel free doing in the right amount.  After all, it's not like swinging the other way and spending 100% of your time in the gym or something is realistic either.  It's just up to you to figure out what the "right amount" is, and then be disciplined about enforcing it.

[hwrdfrnd]

Games are great if you use them to relax and destress, but if like me or apparently you, you become obsessive and turn them into a full time thing it becomes an absolute waste of time imo.

When I was working nights I spent every single night off playing Everquest and most of my time at work planning what i would do the next time i was off. I made 7 level 100 characters over that time. Now that I quit playing EQ all I have to show for it is a gut I haven't yet been able to get rid of and a perfectly ass shaped indent in my couch.

[Toxophilite]

You might find this relevant. I particularly like part 2.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5RSngCFpsc

[WillToPower]

Hey All,

 

Status Update - The e-mail saga's final chapter (again, slightly edited):

 

I've been thinking again. To be honest, I keep realizing just how much time it takes to do things like selectively farming and hunting. It would also take so much time to find everything that I'd be looking for. And that's just playing this installment, before I've even gotten to the other games in the series. â€‹It's so much more boring than getting through the story, because there's nothing else to do but obsessively grind, farm, and hunt for PvP. I don't know if I want to commit that much time to something like that.

 

I'm pretty sure that the fact that I have so many doubts about it means that it isn't worth it to keep going. (...)

 

I just keep seeing how this isn't fun anymore. I think the cons outweigh the pros in this situation.

 

After plenty of time waffling back and forth about this gaming issue, I decided that it wasn't worth it in the end. I had too many doubts too often for the situation to be repairable. To be honest, it's kind of liberating. This doesn't mean that I'm done gaming for good; I'm just leaving this particular game in the dust. I don't see myself having problems like this with other games that I own, nor do I see these issues coming up with any of the games that I plan on purchasing in the near future.

 

I guess the fact that I actually started a forum thread about it was an obvious sign.

 

Thanks for the advice!

[Raincloak]

glad you figured things out!  If it's causing problems in your life, chances are it's a problem.  If you find yourself using it even when you think it'd be better to stop, then it's definitely a problem.

 

some people can never play open-ended games safely, just like there are people who can never drink alcohol safely.  MMOs are the casinos of the 21st century, they are designed to get you hooked and keep you hooked ... forever.

 

Some people can play for a while and then put them away and still have a life.  But some people can't.  I'm like you, one of those perfectionist / "complete everything" types, so I get how it is.  You give it a try, and then you get really obsessed, and a few days or weeks or months later you realize you've wasted mountains of time (and neglected the rest of your life) with nothing but pixels to show for it.  I don't even try those games anymore because I know what would happen if I did.  The only games I buy now are offline and/or have a definite ending.