Defeated By the Enemy

[TheGetupChick]

A few weeks ago was my first very bad gym experience. Before I tell you what it was first, let me tell you I have spent hours upon hours researching lifting weights and proper form. I know the benefits of lifting weights and I know it's impossible for a women to get bulky from lifting weights alone. So here goes my story. After my run when stretching, I noticed these guys kind of giving me crappy looks but I didn't think anything of it at first. Then when I stepped into the weight area they made it a point to move near me and start laughing at me. Me still trying to block it out I grab the pre-weighted barball and begin my sets for a Push Press. I notice all three of them were looking at me laughing almost hysterically and one of the says "That's not going to help her." I am not sure what they meant by that but I am sure it was an insult. I get it guys I am not small or trim yet. Why do you think I am in the gym. Body shaming me while I am at the gym to lose weight and build muscle is sort of redundant right? I let those guys get into my head and my whole work out was ruined. They made me feel like I should only workout at home in the dark where no one can see. Then once my body is "socially acceptable" should I ever dare set foot in the gym. I have come a long way from where I started. Those guys almost made me forget that. How do I handle future situations like that? Do I just put on my big girl spacesuit and ignore them? 

No matter many time people say ignore this and ignore that is still gets into your head. Maybe not at that exact moment but maybe a little while later it will creep up and you'll wonder "Is such and such true".

[Salivanth]

Complain to management if something like that happens again. If they don't do anything, find a new gym.

[Raincloak]

They shouldn't do things like that.  And you shouldn't let it get to you.

 

However, real life is what it is, and banging your head against the "shoulds" is a great way to drive yourself nuts.  You clearly have got a sore spot in your psyche, and they are clearly assholes who were cruel enough to trip your neurosis for fun.  It hurts.  I get it.  I've been bullied and it sucks.

 

My personal reaction to such behavior would be to ignore the scum, or give them a lethal stare and a sarcastic remark.  Your preference may vary, depending on your inner resources.

 

You like "Avengers," right?  So channel your inner superhero, get mad, and kill those weights.  They will not laugh when you're benching 200 lbs.

 

whatever you do, don't stop going to the gym (if you stop going to THAT gym, first demand a refund and tell them why, then go to a different gym).  Nil illegitimo carborundum, etc.  There's really no such thing as a "socially acceptable" look for women going to the gym.  If they'd found you attractive, the jerks would stand around passing sexual remarks instead, or "jokingly" telling you not to get "too strong."  The obvious implication is: "my opinion is important so you should do what I say."  Uh huh, yeah right, Mr. ego-penis.  Go harass someone who actually cares what you think.

[Evicious]

I second the advice to complain to management. However, I also get very aggressive when laughed at directly. In the few occasions where I've run across people who decided to openly express their negative opinion about me (without directly addressing me), I've found that speaking directly to them usually shuts them up. This is generally because people who do that kind of thing - especially when in a group - are cowards. Walk abruptly up to them and confront them eye-to-eye in a low tone, and they're usually too startled to do much more than stammer. If they puff up and keep flapping their meat-holes, an easy "Let's get the manager to help us settle this," almost always sends them scuttling for the nearest exit. People like that are dumb - but they aren't so stupid they don't recognize when their bullshit has been called.