The Asylum Demon killed me again, i am now a pancake.

[juyon]

It's been years now and i still haven't managed to even beat the tutorial. 

 

Actually, my character level is getting in the negatives.

 

I'm stuck in a loop of infinite respawning, giving up for a week, getting mad at myself for it and starting all over again.

After a lot of bad choices i've been starting with a heavyer handicap everytime lately, and need to break the loop before it break me. 

 

Meaby i should try backstabing the problkem instead of facing it head on.

 

I have a lot of things i want/need to change. so i've made a list. 

 

-i now weight more then 230lbs, i took 30 lbs this year (working at mcdonald at night = bad choice)

 

-i go to sleep between 3 and 5 in the morning, way too late (i never really switched back to normal after stopping nightshift.

 

-i don't exercise, at all, and i want to.

 

-I recently realised that i have an horrible opinion of myself because of abusives parents, in the lines of 'i don't deserve to be loved'

 

-I had a HUGE crush on someone for YEARS but never approched her about it, probably because all of my past relationships failed because of the above point.

 

-i have a bad addiction tofanfiction and reading (like from morning to night) i used books as a coping mecanism when i was younger, to stop thinking about anything bad. Can't seem to get rid of it now. 

 

-i don't have any support system for motivation, my friends are heavyer then me and my family dosen't care at all. 

 

This is all i can think of right now, but i'm sure there is more.

[Raincloak]

Congratulations, you've got nowhere to go but up.

 

Don't sweat the fanfic or the crush just yet.  You need to clean up the big problems before you can deal with the little ones.

 

If you use the computer late at night, stop.  Turn it off an hour before bedtime.  The light from the screen prevents you from sleeping.  Start getting up at a normal hour; if you wake up at 8 am for a few days, pretty soon you'll be falling asleep by midnight.

 

As soon as you get up, drink a glass of water, get dressed, and go outside immediately.  Take a walk around the block.  Try to walk further every few days, until you're walking for at least 20 minutes a day.

 

when you're ready, check out some of the beginner workouts and commit to doing one of them 10 times.  (not all at once obviously, just try the routine 10 times over the course of a few weeks, and see how you like it.)

[WritingWeaver]

It's great you made a list, you have specific things you want to improve. 

I would recommend ranking your goals into what you think are "easy to hard" goals, then focus on the small things you can do. My logic is that if you succeed on smaller or easier goals, you'll gain more confidence to tackle the more difficult ones you have. I mean you've already nailed part of the support system issue by joining NF. There are a lot of cool people here and we all push each other to be the best!

 

Sorry the video is a bit long, but it's very motivational and I found it helped me. It was given to me in a class lecture.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc

[Silverback]

Welcome. And as the motto goes it only matters where you are going.....and you are going to go great places. And all of us get to follow your journey.  Looking forward to seeing where your travels take you!!!!!!!!!!!

[juyon]

Thanks you for reading and the great advices ! I've had some difficulties sleeping, but the last few days were great, i started my respawn with a 20 second bearserk mode and i tried the Zombie run! app. It's awesome, actually make me want to run more then just on my rest days... I've already walked/ran 8km since respawn.

 

I created a daily battle log to keep track of everything and this respawn so far seem to go way smoother then the last ones. =) 

 

Of, and writingWeaver, thanks a lot for the video, it was Awesome ! I'm so jumping out of bed tomorrow.=D