This time its personal...

[alexis88]

Hello everyone, ive spent the night reading blog posts and threads. i think this is the place to be, and the right time to be here. 

 

To cut a long story short, ive been trying to lose weight for 10 years. I lose a bit, then my life falls apart and i put weight on again. begin cycle. 

 

Im 26, and 250lb   horrible. 

 

I have borderline personality disorder and ive struggled much more since being on my medication, a common side effect is weight gain, although i dont want this to be an excuse. 

 

Im also an alcoholic. Which i know is a huge reason for my fat. Im trying very hard with this, and going to therapy. 

 

I kind of feel at a loss. I hate myself, i have no confidence at all, my anxiety is at an all time high because im working myself up over small things like leaving the house and seeing myself in the mirror. 

 

I need a change. 

 

Im going to Thailand in 2 months with my best friend, yet im dreading it   because all i can think about is feeling so self concious on the beach and around the pool.

 

Ok i didnt mean for this to be so depressing!!!

 

Thanks for being here, i hope to become part of your community soon   x

[alexis88]

dbl post 

[Basement Cat]

Welcome to the rebellion!

 

Oh dear, that's a lot to deal with. Medication can really mess up your system. It's good that you are seeing a therapist to help with your issues. If weight loss is your primary goal, a calorie deficit is the way to go. You can try Weight Watchers or My Fitness Pal to help you with that, or you can try counting calories on your own (it's more work).

 

Addictions are tough to break. The best I can do is wish you luck and offer a listening ear if you need one. Be strong! The Rebellion is here for you!

[ringular]

You're probably way more awesome than you give yourself credit for. Don't hate yourself. You want to change and that's what defines you. This place is great for all of us, share your feelings, progress and failures and people will respond.

[Thulemin]

You'll love Thailand!

 

The food there is really great, and it's somehow easy to eat healthy (if you don't binge on rice too much  ). I'm not sure which part you're going to, but check if there's any meditation retreat happening around you. It might not be your thing but some temples offer a one-day or two-day introduction, and it could help you with detaching yourself with some of your addiction and perceived/real problems.

 

You do seem to have a lot on your plate so, remember. One baby step at a time. Don't overstretch yourself, aim for the long term. 

 

And good luck with the therapy!!

[alexis88]

Thank you for your replies

 

i do use MFP - im quite good with diet really (apart from the alcohol)

 

i just started back at the gym yesterday, was tough, im so unfit...

 

Thulemin, im going to Phuket, and i do meditate actually anyway so will definitely look for a day retreat. 

 

Is it even realistic to lose a good amount of weight in 2 months??