Rise and Shine

[alexis88]

Hello, decided i should make a journal here. Man there is so much info and cool stuff, ive been reading pretty much all day.

 

A bit about me...ive been trying to lose weight for 10 years. I lose a bit, then my life falls apart and i put weight on again. begin cycle. 

 

Im female, 26, and 250lb    horrible. 

 

I have borderline personality disorder and ive struggled much more since being on my medication, a common side effect is weight gain, although i dont want this to be an excuse. 

 

Im also an alcoholic. Which i know is a huge reason for my fat. Im trying very hard with this, and going to therapy. 

 

I kind of feel at a loss. I hate myself, i have no confidence at all, my anxiety is at an all time high because im working myself up over small things like leaving the house and seeing myself in the mirror. 

 

I need a change. 

 

Im going to Thailand in 2 months with my best friend, yet im dreading it     because all i can think about is feeling so self concious on the beach and around the pool.

 

Ok i didnt mean for this to be so depressing!!!

 

Ive downloaded two apps this afternoon, the Strong Lifts app (recommended by someone here) and the couch to 5k zombie run. Hoping these will both help me along.

 

Thanks for being here, i hope to become an active part of your community    

 

Oh and my journal title is from this.....inspiring!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbkZrOU1Zag

[SpecialSundae]

I'm really glad you've got those two apps. I love the Zombies Run apps. Make sure you look after yourself and take it really easy with running (even if that means doing week one walking and faster walking, then repeating it with walking and power walking, then doing it as walking and very slow jogging and only then moving onto week two). I started off doing both at the same time and got over-enthusiastic and managed to tear my calf muscles because my cardiovascular fitness was far ahead of my muscular endurance.

 

Anyway, don't worry about Thailand. It's a really, really, really lovely country. I've been twice. I weighed just under 200lb the second time and was strutting around in a bikini at the pool and the beach and no one batted an eyelid. The food is out of this world and the people are amongst the friendliest I've ever come across.

 

Where are you going to be staying in Thailand?

[alexis88]

In phuket, in an apartment found on Airbnb really excited!

 

I will take it easy yes and be sensible with the fitness. I cant run anyway haha im way too unfit so will be taking it slow because i have to!!

 

The strong lift app looks great, anxious about using the free weights though....lots of massive men at my gym. Not sure how it will feel being an obese girl in the middle of them 

[SpecialSundae]

Engage beast mode and you'll be fine. Everyone starts somewhere.

 

If you're ever in doubt, remember that out there there are "obese girls" like Maria Koteles warming up with weights that those guys can only dream of lifting.

 

[alexis88]

thank you  i will try to switch on beast mode haha 

[SpecialSundae]

The alternative is this attitude:

 

 

It may seem that I'm making light of serious anxiety, but I do understand the feelings involved. Sometimes the only solution within is to fake it until you make it.

[alexis88]

A new day. My diet is planned out on MFP and my training is written down. Will be heading to the gym after work. 

[alexis88]

sometimes i really piss myself off. 

 

I get very into health and fitness, then when the time comes, i try to talk myself out of working out. Pathetic.

[SpecialSundae]

sometimes i really piss myself off.

I get very into health and fitness, then when the time comes, i try to talk myself out of working out. Pathetic.

I've been there.

Make it like brushing your teeth: something you just do even if you don't feel like it.

That said, it's worth finding something you love doing. I loved lifting from the very start because I could see progress.

[alexis88]

So my rant was premature...

 

I forced myself to go the gym and really pleased i did!

 

Had a great workout. I did workout A of StrongLifts, then workout 1 of ZombieRun 5k. Good news is, that im ready to go straight to week 3 on that, because i can run for over a minute. pretty pleased and excited to get fitter. 

 

Regarding SL, it seemed like it was hardly anything. 5 sets of 5 is that right? i did the 3 exercises, (squat, overhead press and deadlift) but felt there should be more...am i missing something here?

[SpecialSundae]

So my rant was premature...

 

I forced myself to go the gym and really pleased i did!

 

Had a great workout. I did workout A of StrongLifts, then workout 1 of ZombieRun 5k. Good news is, that im ready to go straight to week 3 on that, because i can run for over a minute. pretty pleased and excited to get fitter. 

 

Regarding SL, it seemed like it was hardly anything. 5 sets of 5 is that right? i did the 3 exercises, (squat, overhead press and deadlift) but felt there should be more...am i missing something here?

 

You're bloody brilliant! You are!

 

And yup... It seems like nothing at the start but because the weight ramps up quickly it takes longer and longer (between warm-ups and rest periods). I was doing a similar workout today (5x5 squats, bench and Romanian deadlifts) and it took an hour and a half of pretty hard grind.

[alexis88]

You're bloody brilliant! You are!

 

And yup... It seems like nothing at the start but because the weight ramps up quickly it takes longer and longer (between warm-ups and rest periods). I was doing a similar workout today (5x5 squats, bench and Romanian deadlifts) and it took an hour and a half of pretty hard grind.

 

Thanks so much 

 

Ah ok, yes i saw it said next workout the weight is increased. do you wait the full 90 seconds in between? i felt it was too long...maybe ive been using weights wrong all  this time. 

 

Its a great app though, thanks for telling me about it! 

[SpecialSundae]

Not so much the first couple of weeks, but in time you'll need 5-10 minutes between sets rather than 90 seconds... Believe me!

[alexis88]

So many journals here, hard to keep up! Want to get to know more of you, for motivation and friends!

 

So today im very busy with work, organising a show for next June in London. Funding applications, curatorial work and more. 

 

Not sure i will have time for the gym today, although it is rest day....

 

My plan is to have 2 days rest a week. Sunday and then one day in the week, will choose depending on my diary. I have random travel i need to do every two weeks so its hard to plan a set day. This is ok though, i think its better for me to be flexible, otherwise i get anxious. 

 

DOMS is feeling 'nice' and i have salmon and veg planned for dinner. 

[alexis88]

Workout: No gym today (rest day) but plenty of walking around with heavy bags of veg! DOMS is killing 

 

Diet: Good. I have salmon marrinating now and yummy veggies. 

 

Drink: Not enough water today, will top up now. Bought some new loose red berry tea and a cute teapot. Delicious. 

 

Alcohol: Nothing! Thats 5 days without. 

 

Work: Pretty good. Caught up with emails and started curating the London show. 

 

Mood log: Feeling ok, very tired, 'allowing' myself to finish early (6pm) and watch some Simpsons and have a bath. 

[alexis88]

Good afternoon, 2pm and not sure where the day has gone...I slept very badly last night and kept snoozing my alarm till 11am....   

I now feel guilty and a bit of a failure as i cant motivate myself to get moving, get working. I want to go to the gym because im a big fat mess. But i cant force myself up and out. 

Id much prefer to lie in bed and sleep and watch films. With pizza and chocolate   

sometimes i really do hate myself.

[SpecialSundae]

Aha! You're in the UK! Yay! More British Nerds!

[alexis88]

Yeh manchester!

[SpecialSundae]

And get up, go to the gym, shower and then decide if you want to lie and watch movies.

[spooky]

There's still quite a bit of day left! You can still do something, maybe bodyweight exercises at home if you're really having trouble leaving your house (I know those feels, I've been there)? I believe in you  . Something, even one squat at home, is better than nothing. You can do it!     

[alexis88]

Thank you both so much for the motivation it helped a lot. 

 

I went to the gym. Didnt have the best workout in the world....it was workout B in stronglifts. Squats were fine, although unable to increase weight. Then Bench press. Now i struggled with this, not the lifting, in fact i could probably lift MUCH heavier. It was hard to hold the bar as i lay down on the bench, then hold the bar as i sat back up! No way will i be able to do that with heavier weights. 

 

Also struggled with Barbell Row. Its a little embarrasing but i think im too fat to get the right posture. I watched a video, and tried to copy, but looking in the mirror, my whole body was one lump, there was no definite bend in my back...

 

Ran/walked for 15 mins but gave up and came home. 

 

Im glad i went but feel a bit dejected. 

[spooky]

The fact that you even went to the gym is amazing! That takes a lot of inner strength and willpower, especially when you're feeling meh. Just by going you created a ton of positive momentum for yourself.

 

Overcoming inertia isn't easy but you're certainly on your way. Going to the gym is like giving your anxiety a kung fu kick in the face. Just going to the gym means you won! Any exercise is better than no exercise. 

 

Now go enjoy your undeniable success and relax on the couch with a movie, you earned it 

[SpecialSundae]

Does your bench not have stands to hold the bar whilst you set up?

[alexis88]

Does your bench not have stands to hold the bar whilst you set up?

 

 

No its not around those types of benches it is just a plain one

 

 

The ones with the bar holders are upstairs, where all the 'bros' go 

[alexis88]

The fact that you even went to the gym is amazing! That takes a lot of inner strength and willpower, especially when you're feeling meh. Just by going you created a ton of positive momentum for yourself.

 

Overcoming inertia isn't easy but you're certainly on your way. Going to the gym is like giving your anxiety a kung fu kick in the face. Just going to the gym means you won! Any exercise is better than no exercise. 

 

Now go enjoy your undeniable success and relax on the couch with a movie, you earned it 

 

thank you spookyfoot ! yes trying hard to smash anxiety in the face haha!

 

I will enjoy The Simpsons with my fruit tea!