de-lurk to respawn...

[Inoke]

I signed up here around the start of the year. I felt really cliche, and wasn't sure I'd really do anything at all. I use to live in the internet through high school and college, but fell away from directly interacting with internets-people after livejournal quit being the place to be (I feel old saying that...). I tried to make it easy to participate here, got tapatalk and all that. Read things, and learned some stuff. Then this week I keep doing things that scare me, even though parts of my brain are trying to hide under the bed. So here I am.

Origin Story shorted hopefully...
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Had allergies that were getting bad seasonally, finally started taking over the counter meds. Every time I went off of them I would get hives (minimal, but way itchy). Then the allergy meds just straight quit. I was 300lbs and finally I linked the hives to dairy. No dairy, no hives. Kept going back and forth to be sure... Made some cookies with "crisco" and turned instantly ragey and upset. Heeey Palm oil makes my face light up like a christmas tree and I flip out. It's in regular milk AND alternatives. Also discovered coconut makes my face become super booger town. And that I am way too lazy to make almond milk at home and that water is fine.
I learned all of this over three or so years, where I lost 60lbs by mostly not feeding myself crap
Then I figured out how to make crap food without dairy, palm or coconut. AND I relaxed my "I don't eat sugar" rule a lot, so processed foods were back! I gained 15lbs back (over another year, but still disappointing).

Feels nice to not be super tired all the time (think this was partially an allergy issue), and then because my best friend is infectious I ended up signing up for the Wipeout run(chicago). Because it seems cool and I want to be able to do fun things with my friends. Yes, good motivation. I get a gold star. :| :c

Started couch to 5k, started tracking my food. Got a fitbit with some amazon giftcards, Ooo data feedback! Then.. thought something might be wrong with my heart. Turns out I was just folding in on myself out of anxiety and probably depression. My chest and back muscles were saddness. Pre-panic attack is fun!(no!). How do I add running AND learning to distress to my already crazy commute and work schedule. I have a gym membership, but I can never get to the gym. Enter emo mode, where I wallowed while fighting off a cold that might have been tree allergies for the last two weeks (I have no idea, it's gone now).
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Read about starting over. Read about Steve most recently. Got all sassy at the article, "but yeah I have an hour commu...oh. so does he." And now even though I like sleeping, I am instead preparing to start tuesday, thursday, saturday C25K at 5am when the gym opens, showering and then heading to work. because OMG you can frontload that sh*t!!! AND I'm a morning person (not chipper, never chipper). Do-not-want keeps being told "that's nice brain, but look! I already put the soap and a towel in your gym bag!" So all the components are there, but they are hard won and this is starting over. I plan to do yoga the other mornings at home, because it's easier to keep getting up at the same time than change it each day. Yoga also usually helps me feel less stressed, so added bonus.

 

I am pretty scared I will not want to do this come tuesday morning, but I know that I'll do it anyhow. Even if I just awkward it up at the gym I still went...which is closer than not even making it out of bed.

 

(please tell me this has spellcheck, otherwise the wordsmiths are going to have a hard time reading my posts...)

[Ilham]

One thing I find awesome in NF is the total absence of grammar nazis, or their incredible capacity to refrain from being living spellcheck alternatives.

You've already come a long way, the simple fact you're posting is a proof of that. I hope you find the necessary courage/motivation/energy to do your yoga/go to the gym.

[Basement Cat]

Welcome to the rebellion!

 

Don't worry about the spelling. What matters is you leveling up your life! Go get'em, tiger!

[Inoke]

Thanks! It's very nice to hear that the spelling doesn't matter so much as well.

[Noname123]

Checkin in How was your Tuesday am workout?!

[Inoke]

Decidely less awkward than I was expecting. No one seems to think of going to the gym at 5am. There is some morning routine to smooth out (like one of those suction cup hooks for the shower because there isn't anything else? Minimal) but I DID A THING AND IT WORKED!

Now to spend this afternoon deciding on a yoga routine so I don't have too think to hard tomorrow morning.

Thanks for asking!

[Noname123]

Decidely less awkward than I was expecting. No one seems to think of going to the gym at 5am. There is some morning routine to smooth out (like one of those suction cup hooks for the shower because there isn't anything else? Minimal) but I DID A THING AND IT WORKED!

Now to spend this afternoon deciding on a yoga routine so I don't have too think to hard tomorrow morning.

Thanks for asking!

 

I do my 5 am gym trips twice a week- the crowd there is either a morning person or ascribes to the saying "I work out in the morning before my brain knows what I'm doing!" But the pre 6:30 am crowd is usually less than 20 people total, nice time to go if you want free reign of the equipment