Rebel, Ranger, Roamer

[Lunael]

Hallo (again)!

 

I have been here before, about a year ago, for two or three months. However, my motivation was not the best back then, and thus, I quit the training and concentrated on other things. In summer and once again in November, I resumed my training for some weeks, but it never became routine, and I fell off the wagon again.

 

Still, I achieved many things in that year, though it might not be weight loss or gains in muscle strength or overall fitness. I may be even weaker and less cardio-powered than before, but my mindset, goals and other health issues changed a lot.

 

 

So now I am back again, and this are my status quo and my aims:

 

I am still about 10 kg overweight, or better: my bodyfat-percentage is around 27% and I want to get rid of these seemingly everlasting stupid few percent too much. I am pretty small, so even a few additional pounds are visible as overweight. Also, my frame is actually pretty petite, so those extrapounds just sort of look ridiculous.

 

It is not only about the optics, though. I have been pretty fit and active a few years ago. However, since I moved, the gym classes I used to love are not fun anymore, my thyoriod is a littel unruly and sometimes makes it hard to be physically and mentally capable, I have pretty inactive boyfriend and little time. I struggle to find a way to live fit that I actually enjoy. But I think, now I know better, where my main problems lie:

 

1) Emotions/Stress: I've ever been an emotional eater. I have been quite lonely for long time, due to many reasons, and suffered from that the most. Ever been someone with a bad self-image I need direct personal contact for support. Since December 2015 I am in a new relationship and I lost 3% of body fat since then, without any training, and with quite relaxed eating habits – that speaks for itself, I guess

 

2) Personality/Motivation: I always tried to do what others told me what was right: eating paleo, lots of strenth training, 8h sleep etc. And of course, I know from my own experience, that these suggestions ARE good. However, I finally  accepted the fact that I wont succeed if I force myself to do things I do not choose willingly. Also, "getting thinner" is a bad motivation. Having fun and feeling capable and well in my body is probably a better idea. I still struggle with thoughts of comparing myself to others. The most important difference is that this time, I want to become awesome MY WAY and just find the lifestyle that makes me feel good everyday from day one. I tried a lot of things and only a few stuck. I accept and even embrace the fact that I am shifty. I want to do what I want, when I want, without feeling obliged to do so and independend of others (except I really enjoy me being a part of a team). I need to start following strict pregiven eat, sleep and sport-schedules and instead listen to my heart and soul. Otherwise I just get frustrated and can't enjoy whatever I am trying to achieve.

 

 

So where do I want to go this time?

RIght now, my first goal is still to lose that extra weight, focusing on

 

NUTRITION FIRST!

I started this in November last year, doing really really small babysteps, like having a hearty breakfast and avoiding sugar but still making exceptions under certain circumstances. I established rules I am comfortable with and that are totally cut to fit my individual life. The progress is slow, and there will be some ups and downs, but this is about reaching a long-term general lifestyle change, so that is okay. I'll get there someday. 

 

The prerequisite for reaching that goal is to be more relaxed, even slacky, about the other goals.

I cannot focus on withstanding sugar if I feel guilt and panic and stress out over a workout schedule or sleep regime.

So in addition to the nutritional baby steps, my other current goals are:

- Strength Workout twice a week (like the absolute minimum is totally okay) for 66 days. Then, I'll see

- Cardio and special activites as I like - I might try out some stuff, just get away with more schedules and appointments, it is enough already..

- to balance out lack of sleep and get some relaxation, I want to do 5 min yoga a week (like one bigger stretching is enough for the week) and more importantly, I want to purposefully have a nap a week.

 

I guess, once I get the eating fixed and my thyroid wont disturb, there will be some days where I have the energy and feel the urge to do more than that, but if not, thats fine for me as well (for now). First things first.

 

Does that all sound in any way reasonable? What do you think?

 

 

[Craftyviking]

Hello. 

I think it sounds reasonable, in adition to yoga maybe some meditation would be an idea? I use Headspace (https://www.headspace.com/) and they have some free ten minute lessons you can use. 

 

I very much relate to what you say about motivation. I struggle a lot with comparing myself to others too and it just sucks. I will look forwards to updates from your journey. 

[Lunael]

@ Craftyviking,

 

thanks for your reply! It means a lot to me that someone acutally can relate to me. Isn't it stupid that it is so hard to stop comparing yourself to others, although you actually know that human beings cannot be compared and everyone struggles the one or the other way? ^^"

 

For me, my biggest problem is my older sister. She has always been the stronger, the slimmer, the bigger, the fitter and prettier one - honestly, she has the face of an angel, a fiery temperament, she looks like an elf. I mean, she is a doctor and works as a fitness trainer at the same time (travelling tge 20-40 km distance between both work places by bike, OF COURSE). And of course, she is the most strict fitness trainer in the local gym, even the trained guys don't want to visit her exhausting classes. It is virtually impossible not to feel like the fat, stupid and incapable nothing beside someone like that. That would be totally okay for me if she was not my sister. For the bad feeling I have about myself whenever she is present keeps me from being in contact with her. So one aspect of my motivation is to reach a level of feeling fit and beautiful with my lifestyle, so I am not constantly reminded of my current overweight and flabby, unfit shape in her presence. I do not need to be Superwoman like she is (Catwoman is much cooler anyway ), but just to feel okay with myself. 

 

Anyway, meditation is great, I tried out several techniques, but rarely to never find the peace for it when I am at home. But it is good that you remind me of it, maybe I'll change my plans to do 5 min yoga and/or meditation a week. That way, I can try out both without adding too much challenge stuff. Also, I recently started to focus more on my spriritual side and visited a church service with my boyfriend. Maybe getting touch with my religion might help me to channel some of my emotions.

 

I'll definitely have a look at headspace, I love to learn new stuff ! Thanks a lot!

 

I plan to track all progress, changes and whatever life brings in a daily battle log (hopefully I'll find some time this weekend to get things rolling). How are things going for you? Since when have you been here and how did your starting challenges look like? And what is your best way to motivate yourself when you feel too drained for workouts at the end of the day?