Take this, it may help you on your journey

[Red Dragoon]

2.2 miles

2.7 miles

3.1 miles

3.1 miles

2.3 miles

2.2 miles

2.2 miles

3.1 miles

2.3 miles

2.5 miles

2.7 miles

1.7 miles

1.4 miles

2.9 miles

4.9 miles

2.9 miles

2.4 miles

2.4 miles

2.5 miles

 

There are a couple combined days in there.

 

Ugh, so away a long time again.

 

Small bit of good news, the room mate found a job. A really crappy job, a get out of this as soon as you can job, but a job that will pay the bills in the meantime and unemployment had been close to running out. I guess its good not to have to worry about that.

 

In other news, I'm finding myself almost totally drained of energy lately. Like everything went into the move and readjusting to new surroundings and now I'm just tired. Or I needed a change and now the change has happened, so...now what? Now what, indeed. I've been living badly for such a long damn time, I'm not sure I know how to do anything else. And while I've long thought it an inevitability that I would retreat entirely from the world one day (I do not seem to mingle well with it, never have, whatever I do) I'm not sure I'm ready for that time to be right now. But I'm honestly not sure what to do about it, either.

 

Of more immediate concern, I haven't written anything in months. I've tried, I've had it sitting open on my computer for days at a time, read it over and over again, but I haven't been able to plug back into it. I'm not totally surprised, I know its been wearing on me lately, more and more, the work I put into it, putting it out there and getting almost nothing back, that it got worse after I started the second book in the series. I'm used to not having support or encouragement, probably especially when it comes to my writing (I didn't grow up with creative people), I can run with it for a long time but not forever, if the project doesn't finish before it reaches its head. Its been a number of years, it really has, several years before the popularity contest atmosphere made me cynical (on at least one site, it seems that what gets your work acclaim is making friends with everyone on the forum; even if my highly introverted ass could find the energy to keep up with that, I lack the social skills to be charming enough to make it work). But I don't want to lose this thread, I kind of liked my story in spite of everything, and I'd still like to finish it one day. But I still haven't been able to get it done, still haven't found the words or the drive to get them out, and its bothering me. I don't know what to do about it yet.

 

I am still walking, though. Every day, at least 2.2 miles (don't ask me why that's become the default number, it just has). I suppose if I needed anymore proof I've successfully imprinted this habit, this is it. I struggle with everything else, but I still get up and walk. Though at this point I do think I'll have to step up my game a bit if I want to lose those last twenty pounds, the scale is very stubbornly not moving.

 

[Red Dragoon]

Well, it has been a while. And I think I know why, why I've been slacking so badly on reporting progress when I used to be more into it.

 

Because it doesn't feel like progress anymore.

 

I started my walking every day in October, and aside from a handful of sick days and stuck on a train days, I've kept up with it ever since. Its a fully integrated habit by now (I made a habit, whoo-hoo (no, seriously, that's hard for me)), so coming on here on a regular basis to report on walking every day is starting to feel ridiculous. Guess what I did, guys, I breathed in and out, all day every day, go me, right?

 

I need a new challenge.

 

I would not mind picking a date and keeping track of all the walking I do over the course of a year, to see how far I get, just for fun. But that's not a challenge, just curiosity.

 

I did want to get back into the habit of doing bodyweight workouts again, so that may well be what we go with. I'm still losing weight but it is much slower going (down to 157 now), so I got to up my game somehow. I'm also starting to feel hungry again a lot more often, so also time to tweak my diet again.

 

Aside from that things have been slow. I've started writing again, but its an entirely new idea. Something that will probably be shorter and to the point, so I might just focus on it for a while and see if I can't finish it in a sane amount of time. And I probably won't post it anywhere until its finished or most of the way there, so maybe I can enjoy the process without it being tied up in people's response. I've been working on Project One for years now, maybe I just need to take a break; at least something solid danced to the front of my mind so the break won't be one from writing altogether.

 

Get back to you on the future new challenge.