Crying myself a river

[valkyrja]

2 minutes ago, Zappa said:

 

. I was resistant to buying new clothes for the same reason but I find it helps to treat myself  I'm starting to hate baggy clothes though, baggy clothes feel like the old me...something that 'he' would wear. Even though I was bigger I'd wear baggy stuff to try and hide that fact, so I guess that's part of it too.

 

Wow I relate so much to that. Almost all of my wardrobe looks awful now, just oversized sweaters that I bought oversized because I didn't want anybody to see the fat. I actually feel pretty in tight shirts now, that's insane! Then again I don't feel like I really deserve new clothes because unlike you I've only lost like 5 kg's. (In the last 6 months, in the last 2 years I've lost like 12-15 kg's. Wait what? That can't be right. Holy shit..) Never mind that last part I totally deserve new clothes. I am literally just realizing this now. How did I not notice?!? 

 

25 down and only 10-15 to go, you're more than halfway there, you got this!  

[Zappa]

Just now, valkyrja said:

 

Wow I relate so much to that. Almost all of my wardrobe looks awful now, just oversized sweaters that I bought oversized because I didn't want anybody to see the fat. I actually feel pretty in tight shirts now, that's insane! Then again I don't feel like I really deserve new clothes because unlike you I've only lost like 5 kg's. (In the last 6 months, in the last 2 years I've lost like 12-15 kg's. Wait what? That can't be right. Holy shit..) Never mind that last part I totally deserve new clothes. I am literally just realizing this now. How did I not notice?!? 

 

25 down and only 10-15 to go, you're more than halfway there, you got this!  

 

Yeah but maybe that 12-15kgs is a lot more of your overall body weight? Either way, of course you really deserve it! 

 

For me, I know that I've been here before. I was down to this weight about three years ago (and probably a similar weight a couple of years before that) but then piled on the pounds I'd lost with added interest. Something feels different this time though, it feels more permanent. The good diet and exercise feels like less of a challenge but I still feel terrified at times that I'll fall of the wagon and binge eat and start another terrible cycle that'll see me putting on the weight again. That's probably partly why I'm exercising so much, it almost feels like a replaced one anxiety with another but at the moment it's working in my favour. 

[Shakeel_R]

 

Yeah but maybe that 12-15kgs is a lot more of your overall body weight? Either way, of course you really deserve it! 

 

For me, I know that I've been here before. I was down to this weight about three years ago (and probably a similar weight a couple of years before that) but then piled on the pounds I'd lost with added interest. Something feels different this time though, it feels more permanent. The good diet and exercise feels like less of a challenge but I still feel terrified at times that I'll fall of the wagon and binge eat and start another terrible cycle that'll see me putting on the weight again. That's probably partly why I'm exercising so much, it almost feels like a replaced one anxiety with another but at the moment it's working in my favour. 

I guess jt is a way of living.

Verzonden vanaf mijn iPhone met Tapatalk

[valkyrja]

2 minutes ago, Zappa said:

 

Yeah but maybe that 12-15kgs is a lot more of your overall body weight? Either way, of course you really deserve it! 

 

For me, I know that I've been here before. I was down to this weight about three years ago (and probably a similar weight a couple of years before that) but then piled on the pounds I'd lost with added interest. Something feels different this time though, it feels more permanent. The good diet and exercise feels like less of a challenge but I still feel terrified at times that I'll fall of the wagon and binge eat and start another terrible cycle that'll see me putting on the weight again. That's probably partly why I'm exercising so much, it almost feels like a replaced one anxiety with another but at the moment it's working in my favour. 

 

I relate to all of this so much! I've never gotten this far before and I am TERRIFIED of hitting that wall and piling the weight back on. I've dealt with anxiety too, and still am, so I'd keep an eye out for exercise-related anxiety. Even though it motivates you to go to the gym it's still anxiety and at its core that's not why you should be training. Intrinsic motivation because you want to is the way to go. But then again it's hard to see the line between healthy reasons for exercising and losing weight and the obsessive, under-eating/starving and "I have to" mindset. I think exercise should be an "I want to" thing. Am I making any sense? 

 

For me the biggest challenge is changing my mindset about the effects of exercise. Recently I've been thinking about exercise kinda like drowning (stay with me here). By exercising and eating right I can keep my head above water and keep from drowning but never actually get out of the pool. So in my mind I'm at a finish point now, I'm never gonna get better than where I am now and am only ever going to be able to maintain this status, and if I don't constantly and consistently always eat 100% right and exercise like a maniac then I'm going to get FAT AGAIN. That's not a healthy mindset, it's driven by fear and anxiety. It's not an "I want" it's an "I have to", with very little rewards. With this attitude I don't get anything good I only keep from getting something bad. Know what I mean? 

[Pat G]

hullo!

Saw you in chat last night, but the laptop wasn't plugged in, and died on me. So. I managed to remember the first half of your name and track you down. 

Just here to cheer you onward.

 

Courage vs boldness. Persistence vs social media insta goals. Peace vs turbulence.