Crippling Self-Defeatism

[Anita]

So, I joined a long time ago with an enthusiasm I haven't felt in a very long time.

 

But then my default settings kicked in, mainly the "I will still be alone even if I am healthier, stronger, and change my life. I'll just be waiting to die again like I am now. The only difference is that I'll leave a prettier corpse."

 

Morbid, right?

 

I knew then that I have to remove my extremely high and extremely low levels of enthusiasm from the equation in order to start.  Success and meeting goals and doing a fucking pull up should trigger the initial enthusiasm I had felt... not for its sake alone.

 

So now, I'm in a very neutral mental state and think I'm where I need to be for a solid start and to maintain a slow burn to continue.

 

Good Luck Nerds. If you've been waiting to die, why not live in the meantime? 

[LumberJackDestroyer]

We all have our ups and downs, hopefully you find more ups here then downs. Perhaps being healthier would have a wholistic affect across the board? 

 

Kick each goals ass and take it a step at a time, you'll do great. You've got a great mind, judging from your post. Highly intelligent people often have a harder time being motivated I think!

[Anita]

Yeah, we over think things and gather underpants instead of just doing. Thanks for the moral boost!

[Cataleya]

It can be really tough to break out of this cycle. I don't know that I really have any advice other than to say that for me the working out in and of itself became rewarding, which is what you seem to be referencing in your first post. I do hope you stick around and keep checking in with us. 

[Raincloak]

well, if you're gonna be alone ANYway, wouldn't you rather be alone in a kickass body?  I mean, if the other option is being alone in a subpar body, then come on, you've got nothing to lose.  (Frankly, I don't see what's so bad about being alone.  I live alone and I like it.  Nobody gives me shit for throwing my clothes on the floor.)

 

corpses are never pretty, except on TV, so don't let that be your motivation for anything.  They're always creepy and hideous.  They're designed to become revolting really quickly so people won't do dumb things like hang on to them.  Once it's dead, it's garbage.  Until then, it's a priceless treasure, and you better treat yours right because you're not getting another one, ever.

 

However, it has been noted that people with strong, healthy bodies are much less likely to remain alone... for one thing, training and playing games with other people is fun.  But it's also a magnet for would-be partners.

[fitnessgurl]

I'm going to say this because I've been there & learned to rise above it: you do NOT need someone to make you feel worthwhile. You are ALREADY worthwhile. 

You become what you think & picture inside your head. The first thing you need to do is change your thought-life.

  Take index cards & write affirmations on them like:

1. I am a worthwhile human being.

2. I am beautiful.

3. I will take care of myself because I am worth it.

4. I am intelligent & capable.

 

Carry them with you every day. Read them morning, noon, & night. Read them when the bad thoughts come. Read them when others make you feel bad.

 

*hugs*

[Noname123]

I was the queen of self-deprication. Defense mechanism. I figured if I used it I could hide my failures behind humor and the 'well we all knew I was gonna fail, I did it for funsies, haha!'

 

Just recently I realized that though it got a lot of laughs.....it was a weakness. A coping mechanism to hide from the sting of failure. So I worked on reducing it. Out the window with it. I will still say some things that tear me down a bit, old habits are hard to break. But I do it a lot less often. And I post my goals and how I'll get to them a lot more without the defeatism. I don't get as many likes, it's a little more uncomfortable to read and I understand that. 

 

But it's real and helps you embrace your effort, change and accomplishments even if you don't meet the goals.Throw worries to the wind and do what makes you happy and just GO for it. I know there are many ways to live your life, but that's the part that I think the happiest people have in common.