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Awesome stuff! Also, that's a fantastic shirt.

Oh wow, that sounds like it's gonna be a lot of fun. I really like that you don't know everyone's classes yet too. What system is it? 3.5e?

YAY! I am so happy for you!

All of this got done yesterday afternoon/evening. Hubs' haircut and dinner wound up being later than I wanted, since I got lost in the black hole of time that is the sewing room, but hey, whatever works. Ollie is back to normal for sure now, so that's all good. I've gotten two walks in today (one longer, one shorter-- just to the PO and back). Work day will be done shortly in which case I'll likely go back to my bag making. Left on the list: grocery shop--Friday afternoon buy fabric for MY sewing project--maybe Friday afternoon? (Local shop has 40% of fabric this week so it would be nice to get there) work on pattern for MY sewing project--maybe Friday evening? And also let's add laundry. Going to have to be Friday afternoon. Though I suppose Thursday night after I get home from meeting up with my parents? And estimate on some paver repair that's just been scheduled for Friday right around lunch time. Friday just got real busy, y'all.

I am glad that the salad kits are working for you for lunches. I had half a salad kit with grilled chicken for lunch today. Like you, I have been getting different flavors for variety. Batch cooking chicken breast has been a staple for my household for the last few years. I find that brining chicken breast (1 Tbsp sugar + 1 Tbsp kosher salt + 1 cup water; scale up as needed) makes it come out much more moist. Plain chicken breast tends to be dry. Other things that are easy components of dinners: baked potatoes or sweet potatoes cous-cous or rice pilaf (comes in a box with flavoring packet, or you can make from scratch with your favorite spices) pork chops (batch cook and freeze) meat loaf (batch cook and freeze in single portions) frozen veggies - I think it is worth it to get the organic ones. The flavor is noticeably better. I like having mix-and-match protein, vegetable and side dish for dinners. YMMV I hope you can get some rest and reflection during your time off.

A bit of light Things got worse before it got better. I have a client list of 29 people and my supervisor was hyping it up. Soooooo much therapy. Soooooo much $. I just want the hours so I can take my LICSW and then NEVER feel inferior again. These hundred job listings that talk about making like 70-120 bucks an hour IF I had a stupid 'I' in the middle of my license is driving me nuts. It's giving me job blue-balls. Going from what I have for an LCSW-->LICSW = like double the money. Until then, I continue to scrounge like a rat in order to get my hours. Last week and the start of this week I was feeling even worse. I would go in, the person who was listed in PRIOR NOTES FROM MULTIPLE PROFESSIONALS as being 'suitable for treatment' and able to 'benefit from therapy' turned out to be a lie. Yeah, the woman who ignored questions or laughs and sometimes says 'yes' or 'no' is going to benefit from having a dialogue. I'm sure the woman who asked me 5 times why it's not ok to draw swastikas in the 20 minutes we talked is REALLY going to get something out of therapy. The woman who was curled up in a ball and crying and scratching at the plastic side-railing and who didn't even acknowledge me is REALLY going to benefit from therapy. The psychiatrist on the team writes a two-sentence note, saying that someone will benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy.... when they can't even talk or answer single-word questions. I found a duplicate note from someone that was a literal cut-and-paste for two DIFFERENT clients. As in, there were two different clients that also had issues with their son and who didn't want to feel trapped at the nursing home and who ended up getting into a physical altercation and this was listed VERBATIM on the same day for different people. Yeah...sure. I also found cloned noted on a week-to-week basis for someone else. In other words, there are people in this department that aren't doing their jobs. They are not properly assessing. They are not actually doing therapy. They are just writing they are for a paycheck and then leaving. I mean, why NOT just say that the woman who is in a wheelchair and gibbering to herself did 'solid therapy' if it gets you $35 bucks? Oh wait, because that's fucking immoral and illegal if there's an audit. I'm not playing along- especially if it's my ass that gets audited when the state decides to investigate. I got into this profession to help people, and yet the percentage of people who I would consider my equals and coworkers who also share this sentiment is so baffling low that it is disheartening. It's no wonder I know so many people who have given therapy a chance and given up because it seemed worthless. If it's working with these jackasses who copy-paste their notes and are literally lying, don't care to ask questions, and can't even properly diagnose then OF COURSE there's going to be negative stereotypes about therapy. It frustrates me. Because I know damn well that there are people who are, as stated above, getting paid double the money and aren't even doing meaningful work. Like....you don't deserve to have that title. You don't deserve that paycheck. It makes me sick. Hell, at DudeBros, I'm working with a guy (obviously I won't go into detail because of HIPAA confidentiality) but the guy has 3 other therapists working with his kid and the only thing they have come up with is that something bad happened at school to his kid and that's why he's losing his shit. Yet here I come, asking questions, and I piece together that: 1) It doesn't just happen at school. It also happens during sports/fun activities. It also happens while at home with no triggering event. 2) The behavior got worse when the child was introduced to a certain person in the family who has a history of violence and behavioral problems. It stands to conclude that the negative influence of the other person, who the kid looks up to, is telling the kid how to behave (because that's how the negative influence person behaved) and the kid is modeling this other person's behavior. Wouldn't THAT make more sense, instead of assuming the kid doesn't like school? Nah, a psychiatrist, occupational therapist, and someone from the kindergarten are all fucking oblivious to this. I asked if the child was diagnosed with ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). The parent didn't even know what that was... I read the definition from the DSM-5 diagnostics manual and the parent goes, 'THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE HAS!' Yeah, but three other professionals can't figure it out... Another example: I have a client who was misdiagnosed as having Bi-Polar and was given MEDICATION for LITERALLY YEARS and was diagnosed by 5 different therapists until he got to me, and then I do evaluations with him, listen to him, and piece together that he has Borderline Personality Disorder and might not even NEED medication (my own supervisor was one of those 5 therapists) and ta-da, he went from flying into a rage and not knowing why, to getting a better job, quitting multiple addictive substances, and is working out daily and hitting up church groups and various Anonymous meetings. Like, part of me fucking LOVES that I'm always right and that literally everyone else in this field is wrong because it shows that I'm doing great at this profession, but at the same time I fucking HATE that I'm always right and everyone else is wrong because is shows just how god-awful this profession is with teaching people how to have deductive/inductive reasoning skills and empathetic and motivational conversations. Like, yes, I'm doing great at this....but also, holy shit, how am I the ONLY ONE who is doing great at this? But enough of that... A little bit of light. When I felt like there was literally one person I talked to for 5 minutes and somehow I have to spread this into a 4-hour work schedule where I feel totally useless, I suddenly get a text from the dude I shadowed a couple weeks ago. He tells me that there is someone on floor 4 who would benefit from treatment and he already talked to the owner of the company and they said I should work with her. Bingo. Got someone at least. I go in yesterday and meet with her and then I start my rounds with the 29 cases that are going nowhere.... ....except they suddenly went somewhere. Resident after resident was cognizant enough to carry on a conversation. I did a PHQ-9 with them and they had tangible score which meant they qualified for treatment. And when I did a mental status exam to see if they were able to retain information, a few of them were sharp enough to recall all the questions. Suddenly, I had clients! After a couple weeks of talking to people who were way too far gone with dementia, I suddenly had people on my list of 29 that I could do something with. I felt rejuvenated. Between the 4th floor client and a couple of assessments actually yielding results, I was getting somewhere. I went in early today with another list of people and half of them actually were able to be viable for treatment. Not only that, but there were two other people in the red binder on the 4th floor that had psychiatric requests which means they are a possibility too. It looks like the plan I wanted to have is suddenly working. Ladyfriend also decided to get this weird device that massages your knee - it sort of looks like a bike helmet and it straps around the knee and vibrates at these different speeds and spots. I honestly thought that nothing would come of it. But lo and behold, I was able to walk up a flight of stairs yesterday without being in excruciating pain and having my knee swell up. I did the knee device last night and I was on my feet for a couple hours today and went up and down the stairs a few times. It hurts right now, but not NEARLY as bad as just two days ago. I feel like I'm able to walk again, after almost two whole months of hobbling around like I'm 200 years old. Because of this, I felt more motivated to cook last night since I was able to, you know, STAND and not lean on the counter and feel like I was hit by a truck. I made some chicken thighs and burgers, as well as fried up some turkey kielbasa with red kidney beans. I got a couple of small yogurts and a bunch of fruit this past weekend so I made myself a protein fruit smoothie. The past 2 days have been like night and day for me. Monday I wasn't able to walk, was eating ice cream at 2am, waking up 4 times a night to go pee, and hating my life. Today I saw a bunch of clients, ate some chicken with buffalo cauliflower, and physically I feel fine. I'm excited to hit the gym tomorrow. I have another client to do a tele-health appointment with tonight and then I'm done with work for the week. I can go to the gym tomorrow and write up all my case-notes for all the new clients I'm able to see. This made me do some math and if DudeBros is able to give me just a couple more clients per week, with my projected hours; I might be able to take the LICSW exam around February. So I want to do the best I can and keep at this schedule. I'm not done with sorting the 29 clients at the nursing home yet, but based off of how many I already have, I think I'll be able to get a solid 10+ hours of work from this. Combined with DudeBros giving me just a couple more people, I'll be at 20+ hours a week which will mean I'll have all the hours needed to apply for the LICSW exam around February. I had a big talk with Ladyfriend about us being spread too thin between projects and she agreed. This past weekend we got most of the main upstairs sorted and put away. She decided to take the next 3 Fridays off so we can paint. The plan is to wash the ceilings and the bathroom walls in the next couple evenings. Then Friday we'll do the first coat of paint in the bathroom and paint the ceiling. We'll let the paint dry and then do the second coat on Sunday. Then the following week, wash the main room and paint that. She had no idea what colors to paint anything and she wanted my input. We're leaning towards 'raspberry pudding' for the bathroom color, and some sort of teal for the main room, instead of boring ass browns , off-whites, and grays that EVERYONE does. So amazingly, over the course of 48-ish hours, I went from hating my life, eating junk, getting no sleep, being in constant pain, and hating my job to being able to turn things completely around. I'll try to post again before the challenge ends, but I'm feeling like next challenge is going to be about maintaining the things I'm starting right now.

I made it less than 30 minutes at work before asking my boss for the rest of the week off. I went home and grabbed my painting stuff and went to the painting group at my church, and spent 3 hours starting a new painting. Then drove home again. I had my book with me, so walked to the park and read in the sun and the breeze. Hoy es miercoles Today is miraculous I sit on a bench The air is warm The breeze is cool The air is clean The clouds part The sun warms my legs I lift my face and Observe the radiance Through closed eyes The sun heats The breeze cools Hoy es miercoles Today is Wednesday Today is miraculous I don't have a plan for today. I don't know if I'll have a plan for tomorrow. I am alive, and I am free.

Yay non-scale wins!

I'm so sorry, Elennare. That sucks.

Video discussion response posted. BOOM! Edited to add: as long as I get a 41% or better on my final paper, I've got an A. Friends, I have never felt better.

Whelp, there's that. I have officially received notification that I am going to be laid off. Unless either I or the managers find a new position for me, I have a job through the end of June and then I will be unemployed. At the moment, I'm pretty much numb, likely because of how worried I've been for the last week. In some ways, it's a relief to at least have an answer and a date. But, now there's a whole mountain of other things that need to happen that I don't have time for, and a giant new pile of worries. Which I need to balance with the responsibilities I already have that are currently taking a lot of my time and I am in the process of dropping several balls of dealing with. So yeah. I am not ok. In good news, I got to try a couple of the things we were working on in the clinic on Sunday during practice last night, and they worked. So that was cool.

You've hit the nail on the head, Friend. I'm glad to be exploring public philosophy again. I'm glad to be doing the research that I'm doing, and I feel blessed to be doing it with Philosopher James. I met with James this afternoon over lunch to do philosophy again, and we're coming to a good space about what it means to do philosophical research generall and how this fits my particular investigation. All of this feels satisfying and good. He's very adept at helping draw guardrails around the dissertation work and also identifying what we've come to refer to as Dr. Heidi In The World work, things like articles on the nature of access to information and how that has an impact on education, how AI will impact that, and what that means for pedagogy in a post-AI world. I met him initially in the public philosophy rooms, and he is like-minded. He sees the way that I'm crafting public philosophy into a revolution in education, and he digs it, but more importantly he gets it.This is helpful. Today I need to read the posts of my fellow classmates' discussions and make my final video post as a response. I'm actually looking forward to it, which is new. There's a lot of snippiness going on with Vivian's dad, shocking no one. It's all so predictable that I literally caught myself yawning while I was reading his latest missive, and that made me laugh. It's all such a farce, but it won't come to anything, really. The train has left the station. I have my first appointment with the new famiy counselor tomorrow (he tried to cancel it yesterday, and the office manager called to let me know that it was canceled and I asked if I could retain that appointment, please and thank you, and of course we did). I wrote to let him know that it was still scheduled and that I didn't appreciate or understand his continued dedication to stopping or delaying family counseling, but in any event, he is welcome to join me at the appointment tomorrow. His response: "Do not make appointments for my household. That has never been and will never be appropriate," which is when I caught myself yawning. I might make lemon rosemary chicken tonight and put together an IKEA bookcase. Might just nap. Life is good. ❤️

I don't know how to do things, otherwise. I have a weekly and monthly check-in with This Week's List and the Master List, but other than that, I can't hold all the everything in my head while also working on what's right in front of me. I hope you find some clarity, balance, and peace. I think you're doing great. WOW! I had never heard of this before either. It sounds like a blend with alpaca will be gorgeous. What weight will it be when spun up? Also, I love this fiber craft. I don't spin, but I swear I could watch someone spin for hours. It's like a hearth fire for my soul. I do, and am doing, this too. Right now I have four (five?) bags of ToBeSorted items stacked in front of my bedroom door in the hopes that they will get in the way enough to get sorted. Most stuff needs to get donated. The sad truth is that these moving bags all sat under my bed in the previous apartment for a couple years, and clearly I wasn't using anything in them, so in theory I could just walk them wholesale to a donation spot and be done with it, and never miss what's inside. Having sat for so long, I I have no clue what is in them and I'm intimidated to even open the bag's zipper. Thank you for your reveiw of A Monk's Guide to a Clean House and Mind by Shoukei Matsumoto. It was on my TBR list, and the assumptions you point out are disappointing and, in what I've read of many such books, all too common. Concensus is hard work, and it seems to take daily shoring up, which is its own full time job. It's exhausting, and so often it's less work to just be the one to clean up instead of making everyone else fall in line with their chores. I'm cheering you on and commisserating with you in equal measure.

Same! I love the jellyfish non-scale win. Looking forward to Sovalis Washi tape doodles, if that inspiration hits. ❤️

I did go and it was completely fine. I swam 1km with no negative effects other than a dry throat. It's a perfect spring day today. I am wearing a big, formal damask skirt for no reason other than it makes me happy while I read a book on the garden bench. Bliss.

Progress is happening. Dumbledore purchased the wedding presents. I found a dress that I can wear. I figured out the mistake I made in the accounting software and got my checkbook to balance. I cleaned the kitchen compost bin. I started reading A Monk's Guide to a Clean House and Mind by Shoukei Matsumoto. So far, I am not impressed. I understand how his advice would apply if I was living in a monastic community where the work was shared by a group of people. In theory, I can see how getting up early and having a clean house to start the day would be a fine thing. In real life, chances are good that if the house is clean first thing in the morning, Elf will have made a mess in the kitchen by the time I get home. Yesterday was better than some because Dumbledore put away clean dishes from the dishwasher and loaded the dirty dishes. He also took out the trash. The young people have not been doing their chores. Getting everyone in the community on board with the effort is something that Matsumoto takes for granted. My problem is not that I dislike cleaning. My attitude is just fine. My issue is triaging all the things that need to be done and staying on top of the things that will make the biggest difference. This is why the boxes in the garage have sat there for years. They do not interfere with daily life and it takes a lot of effort to sort and get rid of things. That effort could be spent getting rid of cobwebs or scrubbing the floor, which would cut down on visual clutter in a space I see every day. Elf tried to tell me that they do not want to go to the wedding this weekend because they are still exhausted all the time. I pushed back, saying that all they have to do is be awake for breakfast on Saturday and the main event Saturday afternoon. They do not need to talk to people or get up and dance. They can sleep in the car on the way there and back. They can sleep in the hotel room most of the time we are out of town. This is no more effort than staying in their room at home and napping, with the occasional break for meals. I am going to hold the line on this one. It is my side of the family and I want Elf to be there. I want Elf to be a real part of our family, even though Dumbledore is close to giving up on that. Cleo is optional, but she is really not safe on her own right now. She is having too much trouble with vertigo. She is being tested for POTS this week. Cleo is doing a better job than Elf about communicating with us. I am not sure how she is feeling about being a member of the household. She does not have any other options. That has to color her perception quite a bit. I feel like we have taken in two badly traumatized strays. I want them to recover so they can go back to the wild and live on their own as functioning adults. No one knows how long that is going to take. I also feel that it is important for them to exercise agency in dealing with their situation. They are adults, not children. So I am doing what I can to make my daily life sustainable without counting on them for anything. It would help a lot if they talked to Dumbledore more so that he was happy about having them as part of the household.

the smile and the jelly fish are giving me life!

We've all been there haha - call it a cremation win maybe?

Good for you and H taking a much-needed evening off. That sounds lovely. 💓

As we are trying to post fails. I just cremated a pan of tomatos and peppers in the Rayburn so badly i think i may have written off the pan. Moral of story, set a timer.

Non-scale victory: My jellyfish shirt fits again!!

Many many thanks. It was needed for sure. Thank you, Dearest ❤️ I had it but it wasn't easy, that's for sure. Quick update. Been busy this morning. A bit better of a wakeup but still was quite groggy and dreading getting out of bed. Easier than yesterday and once I was up and moving, I felt better. Yesterday it took until nearly lunchtime to feel somewhat alive and coherent (just in time for madness to hit and hit all at once it did). Knocked out a back workout. I upped a couple exercises a tiny bit on the last set just for a bit of progress/progressive overload, but honestly I've nearly found my max for those sets/reps on back. Doesn't help my upper back has been horribly sore since Tuesday and I'm not sure why. Oh well. Arms tomorrow and I think the Man goes back Friday for a shorter legs part 2 workout that I might join him on. Maybe I can finally get on the machines I missed and knock out some hip thrusts I haven't been able to squeeze in like I wanted. Food is good so far. Hitting macros even if the meals aren't so veggie filled. I'm learning what the balance looks/feels like in my body and next week I can get healthier recipes on the docket. That's assuming I don't travel which there's a good chance I will. It's still up in the air right now so I'm not sure if it's only a couple days or the full week. Will need to be flexible and quick reacting to whatever comes up. Hope I'll know before the weekend since I don't want to buy a bunch of groceries for them all to go bad because I'm not here to eat them. I have a tentative meal plan for the week but I may adjust it further to balance out waste (example: I'm using 1/2lb of ground chicken but it only comes as 1lb packs so I'm "wasting" 1/2lb of chicken if I don't find a way to sneak it into another meal). I hate this part of the job - last minute travel never goes smooth in the personal life. I didn't have a lunch break yesterday and had to stuff my face with lunch (so quickly my stomach hurt for 20 minutes after) between meetings (10 mins or less to prep/heat and eat). Ended up finally finishing up calls and tasks enough I could take a walking break at 330pm with the dogs. Due to the stress and the sheer amount of madness, meditation did not happen. I tried. Oh did I try. It just did NOT go well. Too much floating around. It did help recenter me, though, and I was able to come back to the computer a little more focused and alert. I got everything except Meditation and Full Moon Ritual done yesterday, though. Whew. Today I've knocked out Rune/Oracle and my Full Moon Tarot spread. I still need to "read" the spread, but the time consuming part is done. Will Greet the Day once I hit post and go let the dogs inside. Trying to walk during lunch again and hopefully can properly meditate today. No MBA stuff. I worked late since the only time to have a call was after 5pm and then dinner. The Man wasn't happy but I gotta get this project done. Hopefully I can get something started tonight with him. Budget is good. I'm going to the bank today to get the money to pay back Fam. My new credit card came in the mail so I activated it and immediately blocked the card so it cannot be used (by others or myself because I don't need to be increasing credit card debt any more!) I think that's really all I have. I hope the lights aren't too bright but not too dim for you ❤️

Fingers crossed for good news! (Whether that means you keep your position, you get a new position in the company, or just that you get a decent redundancy package that suits you.) Art and relaxation sounds wonderful; I hope you have a lovely time of it.

One of the newer people on my team was a tenured professor. He gave that up for an industry job that lets him use his professional expertise in a position that is actually 40 hours a week. No weekends or overtime, no committee meetings. He is brilliant and we all feel lucky to have him. It says something about academia that it no longer provides a good environment for brilliant people to teach and do research. Yep. This is why I am so happy that Dumbledore gave up being an adjunct professor. I swear he was spending more on supplies and going out for coffee with students than he was making. He is vastly happier now. I am really glad to hear that. I love that you are exploring a new model of sharing philosophy with a broader range of people.

I am going to try to keep the number of days down to a “reasonable” amount but I can definitely tell this is my subconscious trying to take care of my residual stress through eating and those are pathways I don’t want to encourage. I want that goblin’s cake! Thanks, EG! ❤️ If I were kinda sorta fitting macros I’d feel less bad about it. But I made myself eat decently for supper and lunch yesterday and had less sugar so I think I am starting to get on track again. More Swords today and yeah, the burnout and “you might cut yourself”-ness of all of this feels very real. I am so weary despite sleeping well and enough and it’s got to be the burnout from Houseguest’s visit combined with the work I am putting in to get my house back in order now that the Houseguest and Dave are both gone. I am managing, but feel like I’d be managing better if I had a week off right now. *lol* Good to know. I thought it was just my general lack of tech savvy, but maybe not. I will stay on the desktop for now and see if that improves things a bit more. Thank you. ❤️ Hi Friends, More Swords this morning (well, Intelligence) - Two of Intelligence, which stands for how our inner monologue causes confusion and we must learn to listen to our heart. I was confused about this as I like to think I am pretty good at listening to my heart. Biddy Tarot (a website I use to look up cards when I want more information) suggests drawing two more clarifying cards when you draw the Two of Swords if you don’t know what is going on. I drew the Ten of Strength (Make sure to speak up, delegate, express yourself) and the Ace of Strength (The source of all creative energy is within you. You have the power to imagine, begin, and complete any project you set your mind to), both of which make me think more of this World Anvil project I am attempting and my hopes/Chantale’s stated intention to help me get all of that data entry taken care of. Hmm. Ate real food with some Nutella yesterday, so trending in the right direction, Got lots of sleep. Still feeling really weary and burnt out, but going gently is the only solution for that. I Am beyond grateful that Dave is travelling right now so I don’t have the added stimulation of the tv on or other noise during my quiet writing in the mornings. His work advance dropped overnight finally so I was able to restore the buffer to the line of credit and transfer my tip money out of the Chequing account and onto my Visa to cover Joy’s birthday present. Feeling very magpie about stuff, but trying to remember that I can make a lot of what I want. I even have strips of blank washi I bought years ago that I can put my own designs on. I have no idea if the adhesive is still good, but I am going to dig them out of my desk for the Marginalia challenge and see if I can do something with them. I am really jamming on the stationery work of Eric Small Things lately and Girl of All Work. I have also been really enjoying Justina Smith‘s art. She is local to me and I have taken a class from her before. She reminds me of a newer, Prairie-focused Group of Seven painter. So good. Felicia Chiao is always amazing. There are so many wonderful artists in the world adding their takes on things. We need this so much right now. I hope you see an art piece that buoys your spirits today. Thanks for being here. ❤️