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Hello Everybody,   I've made the decision that I am ready to change my life for the better. I've spent years stuck in a rut, living a sedentary lifestyle, and eating too much of the 'wrong' types of foods. The most frustrating part is  knowing that what I've been doing is to my own detriment the whole time.  I know that being active and eating well is the path to a more fulfilled and happier me, and I'm now going to be the person who walks that path. I deserve to treat myself better and invest in my future-self.   Becoming a member of this team and making myself accountable to others is something I have never done before, so it's a pleasure to be here and I look forward to sharing my progress, and reading about all of your inspiring stories and successes.

Yes, this paper was 9"×12", whereas my other notebook is 5.5"×8.5".  Drawing so much larger definitely helped with doing more details, although drawing something so large was quite time consuming.   I suppose I need to think about the question of scale for future pieces.  

Hi Friends!   It was definitely a rest day yesterday and today has been much more normal. Woke up around 7 but stayed in bed until almost 8, then got up, had coffee, and played a little bit more Animal Crossing. Around 10 I decided to do my Tarot, then I started making the beef and veggie soup I had planned for lunches this week. While the soup was simmering I got on the treadmill and started my walk. After 15 minutes I needed to stop and stretch because my left calf was very unhappy. Once I felt stretched out I tried it again and ended up doing another 20 minutes at 3.1. Success. After that I had a bath and did my Mondly (language app) for the day. I have learned how to to recognize the words for “I’m sorry”. I figure as soon as I can say them people will know I am Canadian.  This is a very complex language and the app implies a lot of grammar lessons without expressly teaching them so that is interesting. I am grateful that I have experience with many attempts at learning French to serve as guideposts for how this process might work because if I didn’t I’d be really intimidated right now.    I got ready for work, played with Sax in the sun (needed my sunglasses today!) and then headed to work. It’s been a full house since almost right at 5 tonight, which is good. Unfortunately I have next to no stock, so the store isn’t making much money tonight. This is not my issue and I am having to work to contain my residual embarrassment about it.    I found a website to a good looking kennel/pet boarding place in Riga today and their website had an English translation which was so helpful. I like the look of their photos and what they said about themselves. Hopefully it is still open if/when we get there. Just knowing it exists is easing a lot of my anxiety about having somewhere safe for Sax to go while we travel if we end up there. I am so very grateful for the internet today. And while I feel weird about the invasive dominance of English around the world, I am grateful that I am not needing to become fluent in Latvian over the next year in order for this possible adventure to work.   I have hit my 5600 steps for the day and done my Darebee as well. I need a little bit more water to meet my goals but I have time for that. I think this little bit of weight loss might be coming off my lower belly as it feels different when get dressed. Definitely not going to complain about that!   Dave texted today and the ex ended a day early. He still won’t get home until the 3rd, but now he has an extra day to rest and maybe tour the city before heading home. They just had their time change there so I imagine he’s going to spend part of the time napping. He sounded pretty bagged when I talked to him for two minutes earlier today. He said he’d try to call tomorrow when he had more time which would be great.     I have now caught up on the forums. Everyone is doing, and the doing is great. I am grateful for this space and all of you. Thanks for being here. ❤️ 

You are going through A Lot right now and I'm so proud of you. And everything is Very Unfair and Not Right and I would like to administer some percussive justice in several of these situations.  😡   All of the feelings you're having make perfect sense with how much you're carrying in each of these situations. I don't know how much flex you have to actually take time off work or anything, but it's also okay to take a little break from the "I need to eat, I need to work, I need to sleep, I need to ..." self-talk as well. If it would help you feel better to zone out on your phone for an hour, that's also okay. You're working so hard and doing so great.  ❤️     Love you, mellon nin!

🤣 I mean, that's an understandable mistake.   Yay!   😍😍😍 It's lovely! And you said you did it on a bigger canvas, right? Did you feel like it gave you more space for finer details? 😃

apparently ive given myself hives or something. hit a breaking point today after accidentally clocking out one minute early, which Hyundai considers an affront to God and will take fifteen minutes out of your Personal Hours for, and if you reach fewer than 20 Personal Hours you get fired. I'm not at imminent risk but it just upset me today because how freakin inhuman is that. You make people come in to work on a Saturday, then hold them extra on Sunday, then when they come back less than 24 hours later to fill in on 1st shift you're gonna penalize them for clocking out a single minute early?  I think that's gross.    It's also Been A Day and i wound up having a full sobbing panic attack- made it to my car first -and finally just texted both of my supervisors to let them know i am Struggling  Horribly because a coworker went on maternity leave and that's left me by myself with not one but two trainees to babysit and check behind and my braincells are already at their limit just paying attention to my work. Plus the car stuff last week and it's hit me that i'm now properly stuck since ive got Rent and a car note [broski is contributing to the car note but it's still a pile of debt] and the stuff with the grandparents, and now after the wreck broski has a phobia around driving/wont be getting his own vehicle anytime soon.    i've been having a hard time eating. even the protein shakes it's like. ew. eating sucks drinking sucks consuming things sucks i don't like doing it.  Scheduled for 12 hours on this shift then no more ot til thursday-into-friday. I don't think we're working Saturday. After Good Friday we're supposed to switch to working Sunday-through-Thursday. 

Gratitude time.   I am thankful for goofy clerks at the checkout line at the grocery store. Reminds me of my high school days. I am thankful for my mom who has finally figured a way out of an unhealthy relationship and is getting herself back on the path towards her own happiness. I am thankful for cloud technology which is pretty cool and is, in many ways, more secure than traditional on-premise server infrastructure. And I am also thankful for my mom leaving behind an apple cobbler thing that I've been munching on every night for dessert since Friday evening.

I, too, stand by frozen veg. Except for frozen spinach. That stuff is horrid. Funny you bring this up as we've been leaning heavily into the frozen edamame game hard this week.   I also think the bigger issue really is portion control, even when it comes to the healthy stuff. It's a lot easier to have meals ready in the week when I'm not heaping onto my plate the part that's supposed to be for lunch the next day. I just love food way too much, and not to toot my own horn, but sometimes I'm too good of a cook for my own good.

*hugs* i appreciate it Sal ❤️ love you :3

Today the anxiety is really setting in and I'm getting really nervous about my appointments ... and while I'm tempted to be embarrassed or downplay those feelings, I'm not going to.  ❤️  Starting a new medication is scary, especially when you've never taken it before and don't know how it might affect you. Not to mention, when there are so many horror stories about terrible side effects, taking ages to find the right medication, etc. So, I'm trying to be kind to myself, like I would to a friend.  ❤️  I've felt the anxiety in my throat, chest and stomach for a few days now, but today when the thoughts started to intensify and I knew I was at risk of spiraling, I took my therapist's advice and closed my eyes to doze for five minutes. It ... actually did help stop the spiral. Amazing that she might know what she's talking about.       I should have exercised today, but work was busy and I didn't stop to take a break, so I'll try to stretch before bed and then hopefully get a walk tomorrow. I also need to go to the store for some veggies because we're mostly out and I had no veg at all today.    But on the flip side, we found a couple of promising houses in our search today, and I'm also daydreaming about what kinds of projects I'd like to do in a new house, and how I can apply some of those ideas to our current space (plants, lights, wall decor, etc.).    Because while moving to a larger place would be exciting, I also love our little newlywed apartment very much and I'm going to miss it when we do move. I want to keep loving it well and enjoying it while we're here.   Not much more to report - Eamon is sick with bronchitis or a sinus infection or something, so tonight and tomorrow I'll be standing by to take him to the doctor if need be.  😕  I'm not feeling the best either. And our sink backed up this evening, so hopefully our quick fix will be okay for now. It's never dull, is it?  😜    Love you guys!!  ❤️