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Sorry all. Dropped for a bit.    The last week I have been in the zone of writing, writing, editing, writing... I am at least getting somewhere with it. My brain is a little fried, but I think all I have left is an intro and conclusion and many, many rounds of edits.    This weekend... a tough one, mentally. Yesterday was okay. Got a bunch of laundry and such done that I had been neglecting, got a hair cut (with the hairdresser who is super accomodating with my anxiety), Frodo has been super affectionate which has been nice. Got my bag prepped for the walk today.   Today marked the one-year anniversary of Willy's passing. I know I am not the only one to feel his loss and it feels like both an eternity and last week. An Eternity since I spoke to him and he made me laugh over discord. Like yesterday I got the worst of messages. I only found out the next day, so in a way I'm expecting to feel tomorrow to be... hard. But I also know Willy would want us to remember him, not dwell on the grief of his being gone. I had a 25km walk planned  along the Ashridge Boundary trail (turned into 28k!) with a good friend who also knew Willes, so we talked about the good memories, Dirty Weekend, the laughs, the gifs.... the sun was shining, our feet were sore, Jack the dog ensured we never lost sight of the present moment either. It was a very good day to remember a very good friend.    Thankfully tomorrow is a day off work as it's a bank holiday. And a D&D day. I'll be having a Leffe and toasting Willy before the game. 

Love the Onion, always spot-on for the most important topics.   Also, I can testify that sleep-deprived psychosis is absolutely real. Please don't roll the dice.

Thank you!

Curious to hear your thoughts on this program. I followed it during the 2020 hermiting phase and found that I although I had to adjust several of the later exercises to account for my tendinitis and weak shoulder, it struck me as a solid program with results.

Well, yeah. That's pretty much how abusive relationships work -- the abuser reinforces their target's weakness and helplessness at every turn, while constantly reminding them why they have no other options for moral support because no one else cares about them anyway.   That sounds like a very toxic subreddit.

I recognize you! I haven't seen you in far too long! Welcome back.     *runs off to locate the challenge thread*

I arrived in a little country town outside Munich. It is beautiful, and smells nicer than Berlin. I am very tired. Walking home from the Biergarten was really rough and I had to stop and sit down twice, once on the road. I am so unfit. But I am going to change that. I saw a thread on reddit recently on the ME/CFS forum that was titled something like: "how do you cope knowing everyone wants us dead?" and the poster was talking about the lifting of mask mandates, and instead of dissenting, the comments were all affirming that this is, in fact, a genocide specifically against chronically ill people and I just... I think maybe that community might be making people more fragile, not less. Also every time someone says they were helped by exercise, others chime in and say DONT DO IT you will get PERMANENTLY WORSE and you will be BEDBOUND FOREVER. Yeah so anyway my new awesome plan is to decide I do not have CFS, just chronic fatigue with some unknown cause, and I will do sensible very gentle exercise, taking into account my low capacity for recovery, together with rest and stoicism and self kindness and a schedule of meaningful life enhancing activities that don't depend on me getting better and not complaining so much or focusing on my symptoms or looking for cures. I'm already cured! The charite didn't give me a definitive CFS diagnosis, therefore, I don't have it. That's my second opinion. Now I just have to increase my cardio fitness from -300 to +800 and regain my deadlift and learn to cope gracefully with periods of intense fatigue.

Goal 1: 17/21   Goal 2: 19/21   Goal 3: 18/21   Saturday in the bag! Rained all day, so no walking. Still did research and still went out and made mat time, which was dope as you may have inferred from yesterday.   Not a whole lot else to report. I signed on to the job yesterday to get some OT on top of my leave hours, and discovered that nobody helped me with my caseload while I was gone beyond opening my new cases. I'm not surprised, really, and it makes sense as I have one of the lower case loads in my unit if not the lowest. There are people in my unit who need a lot more help than I do, and it makes sense that they would be getting the help right now. Everyone assumes that I'll get this all in hand next week. And to be fair, they're probably right.   It's still disappointing, though.   Although! I'm keeping my fingers crossed as I proposed closure on a few cases and if one in particular closes, and doesn't get picked by QA for review in the next couple days, I'll be eligible for a 4th day of working from home! It's not guaranteed because there's a lot of moving parts that have to happen in the next couple days, and some of the people who have to move on this are out of place (my supervisor's out for surgery and the substitute we have, though a cool guy I've worked for before, may not have the authority to put me through for it). So I think there's a good chance it doesn't happen and I get stuck in the office for another month, and there's no guarantee that I'll be eligible again at the end of the following month because things happen.   Still, it was a pleasant surprise. I had honestly resigned myself to missing that target this month, so if it doesn't happen it's not a big deal. But to be in the ballpark of it after so long is pretty nice.   Anyway, I missed open mat today on account of sleeping late, so no play credit for me. And it's raining today again, so no walk either. I can still research and train here at home, though, and also I think I'm going to try to do a little deep cleaning today before I go to visit my folks. So. It'll be a day today.

This needs to be embroidered and framed. 

1 mile walk 1 mile Jog .6 mile walk for cool down   2.6 mile for 42:53 min