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Hi Friends, Thank you so much for all of your support. I don’t really have the energy to go through and reply to comments individually right now, but I have read them all and feel profoundly seen and loved. I ended up having a short, private conversation with Dave today to let him know that I wasn’t feeling supported by him and he acknowledged how I’ve been feeling and the exhaustion I am dealing with. He’s going to sleep on the couch tonight so I can get a good sleep in our bed and hopefully some more solid sleep will help me not feel so frayed. I told him that I was in particular struggling with the way he’s listening to me and then not saying anything (this is an Army thing that he is particularly bad for; I have to remind him I am a civilian and not a subordinate sometimes 😅) and he said he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say because I am right and he’s hearing me. I told him that telling me I am right would go a long way toward making me feel acknowledged and respected right now which seemed to surprise him. I am kind of agog that he is surprised, but it is a good reminder that we think completely differently. Whooo boy. Apparently he had a conversation with Houseguest about grocery money after I said something about it and some of that has been handed over. I didn’t ask how much, but at least the conversation was had and efforts have been made? I will take it. Dave also got paid today so a lot of pressure is off in that regard. We weren’t quite in the overdraft yet, but we were within $20 of it and that is far too close for me to be comfortable with. I also asked if they could go out somewhere today and leave me alone in the house for a while. They went out to Dave’s shop and worked on the mitre saw station for a few hours. I slept through some of it (napped in our bed, it was so nice) and then took myself to the basement to listen to music and play with my dice. I systematically took all of my sets out of their boxes and made a rainbow-ish mosaic from them. It was almost meditative. Then I picked out my most neon sets for an 80’s palette for tomorrow’s game. Some pics: It is pretty much bedtime here and I am ready to put this weird day behind me. I hope that you are all snug and safe and aware of your awesomeness. Thanks again for everything. ❤️

I feel that. I am so glad! Thank you, Sepherina! Thanks, Maerad. So good to see you! ❤️ I was surprised too. I hope it becomes a habit. I don’t know that it is necessarily making things more pleasant, but at least I am not having to stress about the dishes for three people in addition to work, dealing with pot smell, etc. Hi Friends! Happy post-Eclipse! Today is the 100th day of the year. I am doing better with my goals than I thought I might be 100 days in to 2024, even with this unexpected houseguest cramping my style. Still no lifting and really irregular meals and veggies so far this challenge, but I am trying to give myself grace for that. I am making sure I get all my water though and keep up on my Bujos so that is something at least. Also doing well with the no-wheat situation which is good news. I am very tired of sleeping on the couch when Dave is snoring and I think that the second hand smoke from the pot smoking is affecting my anxiety. I was a bit of a mess yesterday and it was probably the combination of eclipse, couch sleep, and second hand smoke (I don’t react well to marijuana if I smoke it so I assume second hand is likely also not good). But maybe I am just looking to attribute problems out of my irritation, too. I just realized that if Houseguest stays until the 20th, Dave leaves on the 21st for two weeks, leaving me with no alone time with him to decompress after the extended visit. Argh. Anyway, I am going to try to keep looking on the bright side of things to keep my morale up. It’s the best of the limited options. I hope that the birds are being raucous jesters where you are and offer a moment of amusement if you stop to watch them. Thank you for being here. ❤️

I appreciate that no one was attacking or vilifying him. He does mean well, he just functions totally differently than I do and that makes things tough sometimes. Good sleep does make everything better. I think the ones you mean are from the Norse line at Lindorm Dice. They are very pretty in person. Thank you. I am relived to hear that I am not the only one asking guests to contribute. All of my old hosting instincts from my first marriage say “pay for everything” but that is just not possible right now. I feel the same about the free room=contribute in other ways, so thanks for affirming that, too. Thank you! I am pretty proud of it! You absolutely may. Thank you, AP. ❤️ Thanks, Snarky. ❤️ Houseguest is from three provinces over, literally half a country away (and Canada is a big country, lol) and they don’t have return plane tickets until the 20th. Plus Dave sees no reason to ask them to leave, so that would be on me to make an issue of it, which I am not willing to do for a variety of reasons. ❤️ There are so many other sets that I want. 😬 Right? Lol Thanks, Maerad. ❤️ Hi Friends! I managed to find some earplugs for last night and was able to spend the night in my own bed. I still woke up a few times when they weren’t quite enough to seal out the noise, but on the whole it was an okay sleep. Better than the couch. I ate so much wheat yesterday, so no points for that. I am feeling pretty okay in the joints today, but I don’t want to get on the scale and see the water weight. Lol Dave may have to go into the city on Thursday to get his civilian passport reissued on the 24-hour program because the Army has messed something up that I don’t completely understand the details of. The side effect of this for me is that Houseguest would leave with him and go to stay with friends in the city, a few days earlier than we were anticipating. This is good news for me and I hope it works out in this way. It does mean having to walk to work and possibly home again on Thursday (not sure how that will go in the black boots but if it is dry out I might be able to wear my red ones which would probably be fine) but that feels like a small price to pay for having my house back. Cross your fingers for me! I started making hedgerow terrain for a hedge maze yesterday and it was nice to put my phone down and dig into something crafty. And then D&D went pretty well (we almost died trying to escape a goblin ambush) and we ended up having a good conversation on the group chat about what we wanted out of the game: Did we want to double down on this new keep we laid claim to and run an administrative game of local lordship? Or did we want to keep moving around the map adventuring? The consensus was adventuring, so we are going to try to hire people to watch the keep for us while we lope around. Hopefully we can come up with the money! Spent the evening watching the end of Campaign 3 episode 63 of Critical Role which I have been stuck on for a while. I saw a pretty significant spoiler for last Thursday’s episode and it has piqued my interest again. I am having a hard time engaging with C3 lately and I am not as motivated to get caught up, which is interesting because C2 got me through Dave’s deployments. Different characters, different story. It makes sense. But I am interested to see what comes out of last week’s episode, so I should probably get back on track with it. I hope that your pen writes perfectly today. Thanks for being here. ❤️

I am here for bean recipes, please! No fucks given commencing! This is not malicious at all, but very prudent. Thanks, Hal. ❤️ These are gorgeous, Laghail. Thank you for sharing. Right?? ❤️ You have such a turn of phrase, Harriet. I love it. You’re super welcome! Kerning fails are hilarious and everyone should enjoy them. Hi Friends, I did my InBody scan with my coworker yesterday and although it has only been about a week from my last one, there is still evidence of further reduction in inflammation and more modest weight loss that I’m happy about. Inflammation is now tied with the lowest it has ever been since I started recording and firmly in the “normal” spectrum now according to their metrics, which is great. My joints are feeling pretty good and my wedding ring is fitting nicely when I put it on (I don’t wear it when I am working because I have my hands in the sink for ~40% of the day). I need to work on my bulk wheat replacements though, because not having it in certain meals means my calorie intake is lower than it would be. And my fibre. Last night Dave surprised me by making chicken salad for sandwiches for supper (a recipe he has never attempted before; I was proud of him for taking the initiative and trying something new *and* using up leftovers in the fridge). I had mine as lettuce wraps, but was still a little want-y after because the bulk just wasn’t there without the buns. I had more salad and a few tablespoons of peanut butter and that seemed to do it. I am eating more peanut butter again which is absolutely a stress pacification strategy. I was doing really well with not stealing spoonfuls while Dave was gone and my stress was low but that isn’t holding now. I am giving myself grace about this but it’s worth keeping an eye on. My weight was 262.8 with my clothes on for the InBody and I am super stoked to see that number. Maybe the 250’s aren’t so far off! Work is a little stressful right now, not because the job is difficult but more balancing personalities. This is something I didn’t miss while I was working alone at the game shop and I knew I’d run into it as soon as I started working anywhere with people. I still think I am better off than I was while I was dealing with Ken, but the past week or so (two of my most competent coworkers have been off) has really shown that we are better when we are all together and no one personality has a chance to get too dominant. I think one of my coworkers who is in the kitchen may move on to another job soon which is a shame for me but makes a lot of good sense for them. I am really looking forward to my day off tomorrow. Houseguest did some dishes yesterday unasked and this morning made us eggs. This was nice. Bryon is getting a tattoo of his wizard Bogdan and I am so thrilled that he cares enough about this character he is playing in a game that I am running that he is going to put him on his body in permanent ink. It’s a strange borrowed pride, but how cool right?? It will be a forearm sleeve and it sounds epic. I hope it turns out exactly as amazing as he wants it to if it’s such a prominent placement. Alright. I think I am going to go have a bath before work at noon. I hope that you are all having stunning Saturdays. May your first sips of your hot beverages be the perfect temperature and there be no grit that requires sweeping under your feet if you are walking barefoot. Thanks for being here. ❤️

Technically.... no, you are not. You didn't invite this guest, nor did you force them to carelessly over-spend for a visit that you were told about too late to be able to stop it. So no, you're not on the hook for anything this so-called guest brought on themselves by making bad decisions and forcing you to bail them out. Hospitality goes both ways, and guests who don't have the grace and courtesy to treat their hosts, and the home of their host, with respect and consideration, are assholes who don't need to remain guests. Definitely an asshole of the highest order. You wouldn't happen to have an over-enthusiastic pet that by sheer coincidence just happened to play very energetically in the kitchen and accidentally crash hard into a kitchen table leg while the bong was on the table and you were in another room by chance...? 😇

I know! This deck is stunning. What a passion project. Can do! The gf regime took at hit yesterday at Easter Brunch (there were waffles which I rarely get to have and I love them), but I am feeling decent this morning and my weight is “only” up a pound or so, so hopefully dialling things back again helps things. I hope this “special occasion only” method isn’t terrible for me in the long term… Yeah, that sounds less than ideal in a combat situation. Yikes. Cool. I will definitely guard this treasure and keep her in coffee. Lol Thank you! It really is. I am so relieved. Absolutely! I am feeling so fortunate. I am all about body modification for life improvement. Most of my adjustments are pharmaceutical but I am definitely in the “make it better” camp. I wish I had a girlfriend sandwich! That sounds really fun. Thank you! Awesome. Thank you! Thanks, Silmarilliane! Hi Friends! I had such a great Easter weekend. Dave and I played a LOT of D&D and did a lot of prep (map making, painting minis, etc.) and it was so fun and rewarding. I am very glad we didn’t just default into spending the weekend in front of the TV as often happens. It was the first time I have painted in a few months and I was reminded how much I enjoy doing it. I definitely want to get back to it on a more regular basis. Our Wednesday nights are supposed to be paint nights but I got away from that while Dave was away. Often Martin would still come over but we would visit instead of painting. Nothing wrong with that, but I certainly got farther away from painting than I’d intended to. Plus it made me feel good to be using the painting supplies that I’ve been accruing as part of my “do things rather than spend money” goals. Did well with the no wheat until yesterday when Nicole and Bryon had us over for the day and served waffles for breakfast. I cannot resist waffles and don’t get them often because Dave doesn’t like them so we don’t make them at home. So I had a feast and it was fantastic. My hands are feeling okay so far today so hopefully I didn’t overdo it. I did not do any significant exercise or lifting all weekend and that was okay with me. I am back to work and such now (Dave is off this week for Spring Break) so I’ll be getting my NEAT movement in. We found out last night that a friend of Dave’s bought plane tickets to surprise him for his upcoming birthday and will be showing up on Wednesday. I admit, I wasn’t happy to be told that they were coming rather than being asked if they *could* come. My nose is pretty out of joint, but I am working on getting over it. My card for today was about playful joy and I think it was telling me I need to get over it and just adapt. Said friend could be staying as late as the 20th, but Dave doesn’t think they will be only here for the entire trip. I am bracing myself for them to not leave, but I hope they aren’t here for more than a week or so. That is a long time to have an unexpected houseguest. We weren’t banking on the added cost of another person’s food or gas for pick-up/return trips to the city (gas just went up here and the city is a 400 km round trip) and things are a little tight right now. Argh. Anyway, enough complaining. I am off to get ready for work. Need to stop at the pharmacy to get my meds before work this morning, too, so that will be my “adulting” task for the day out of the way. I hope that you get to ease into the week and still check off a needful task today. Thanks for being here. ❤️

Yes, my understanding is that it is best as a heist situation set in their particular world. That intimidates me a bit; I run home brew because learning other people’s worlds is challenging for me. I was thinking of doing that with the MCDM play test stuff later on in the year myself. I will watch for the bleed mechanic. Sounds nasty. I was going to post one for you, but then others beat me to it. Such a supportive community. ❤️ The Tower in a traditional deck is very intimidating, but Mushroom makes it much more accessible in my opinion, although maybe a little closer to the Death card? I would have to look up Death in this deck and see how they differ. It’s no fun. So glad to have you, Snarky! Thanks! Hopefully I can get a rein on things! Definitely. I have been dreaming a lot more since Dave got home, probably because I am not sleeping as deeply as I get used to him being back in the bed. I hope they have the rice bowls where you are, I was happy with mine! I love that Garlic is Strength, too. Thanks for posting this. I had intended to, but just hadn’t had the time yet. ❤️ I really love this deck art. It’s amazing. Hi Friends! I had my first appointment with my new family doctor today and it went so amazingly well. I am beyond satisfied and very excited. Spoiler for brief very general reproductive conversation in case anyone wants to opt of out that: So yes, much rejoicing. I will have to wait a bit to get the referral all sorted out, but I have been waiting 24 years at this point, a few more months won’t hurt. *finger pointy dance* We went out for wings last night and I ordered a gluten free meal and it was excellent. I have been disappointed the last few times I have gone to that particular restaurant but last night was good and that was a nice change. Then I got to go home and sit on the new couch and it was so very nice to not be falling into a chesterfield sinkhole! Dave even surprised me with a copy of Super Mario Wonder so I will have some fun playing that this long weekend. This morning was a little different in routine to accommodate my appointment, plus Dave took Saxon to work today for a “Bring your dog to work” thing. I am hella nervous about Sax being there surrounded by a bunch of unfamiliar dogs, but Dave figures as long as I am not around Sax will be fine. Dave might even be right, Sax’s behaviour is often weirder when he needs to protect me. He doesn’t do the same things when he is alone with Dave. So hopefully that goes well. Had a protein bar for breakfast and will probably order a gf sandwich for lunch. We have a leftover meal kit for supper if we want to cook, but today is also payday, so Dave might want pizza. I will have to remember that I can get gluten free crust if that is what we do. I think I’d prefer to cook if my feet are feeling up to it. No lifting this morning. I might try to get a little bit in tonight so I can check it off in my Bujo. I hope that you get some good news today and that no tags on your clothes irritate you as the day goes on. Thanks for being here. ❤️

Yeah, I am emotionally not quite ready to admit that it might be in the never category, but intellectually I know this is the better option. *sigh* I am also grateful that I know what causes it. You’re absolutely right about not wanting to be in the mystery symptom situation. That is the worst. I haven’t specifically gone out of my way for the ancient grains lately, but I think I will start researching them. That is a valuable perspective. Now to just get to the point where I have a year of avoiding the foods that don’t love me back under my belt… My card today was Apathy reversed from the Oracle of Oddities deck, maybe this is part of the message… I feel like the Cedar Chariot cards make a lot of sense right now, yes. And the InBody is doing its own heavy lifting. I am glad for it, too. Sending love back! ❤️ I will need to get caught up on the Reading Thread! I might do a cheese themed challenge next time, just for kicks… They are in a location that is the confluence of many ley lines and the raw magic in the area is off the charts. They are only level 10, but the area makes the high level casting possible, although there are some rolls to see whether or not handling the raw ley line magic goes terribly wrong or not. The party is currently trying to talk Bogdan out of it. We will see how that goes. Hi Friends! Yesterday was such a great day. Got up, had coffee, tidied the game space in the basement a bit more, rolled up a rogue assassin for a solo game that Dave offered to run for me (He’s converting the 2e “Thief’s Challenge” module to 5e for me on the fly), played that game for a while, talked to a friend, then the regular Sunday game started. We got to bust out the new Deck of Many Things that I bought recently (it’s so beautiful!) and I even had a vintage blue glass box to store it in, so it looks extra fancy (in the lore it is stored in a crystal box, I think, so this seemed really appropriate). Cutter, our Kenku Rogue, was the one who drew the cards. He drew four and got Staff, Maze, Ooze, and Giant, all new cards to the deck which made things really fresh and fun to explore. Staff gave him a magical staff that appeared out of thin air, Maze had him take three levels of exhaustion instantly, Ooze made a Gelatinous Cube show up and land on him (and our cart) so we had an impromptu combat, and Giant made him grow 7” and add 20 hp to his hp max and current hp. So that was interesting. I was very afraid we were going to have to face a giant after the Ooze card but thankfully that didn’t happen. Then everyone went home, Dave and I had chili from the freezer for supper, and spent the evening just hanging out. Early to bed. It was very nice. The Deck in the glass box: I did not do Bujos or Tarot yesterday. I think that might be the second or third day I haven’t written in the past eight months which I am okay with. The habit is very strong, especially on weekdays. Weekends might be a little more flexible now that Dave is home, we will see. I am back to writing at the kitchen table in the mornings because the broken loveseat is hard on my back. I really want to take that apart and get it fixed. Hopefully sometime this summer. Sonjia has an upholstery shop space at the cafe (it’s a weird arrangement, but I am not surprised by it at all somehow. Such a small town thing.) and has said that I can use her gear to take it apart and put it back together again. So that will be good if a little annoying to organize moving the loveseat there, etc. Nothing unmanageable though. I also did not eat my plant yesterday, unless you count the abundance of tomatoes in the chili last night, which I guess I could but isn’t really the spirit in which I intended the goal. I will probably eat my plant with breakfast today just to be sure it gets done. I bought myself some baby cucumbers which I really enjoy. I hope that you are coming into the week after a weekend full of self care and recovery and that you have what you need to get through the day comfortably. Thanks for being here. ❤️

AMAZING, Dear gods I love you. Harriet. ❤️ No, there are definitely not too many hobbies where those phrases go together. Lol Four years is a long time, but I promise the MN is worth it. I really loved that campaign. Thanks, Shello. Thanks, Sea-to-sky. I appreciate it, Snarky! Thanks, Kishi! Thanks, Hal! Thanks, Ever! I appreciate the support. You should get the dice. We should be able to pay the stewards et al., with loot, if we can find a secure way to get the loot to them (we are in unclaimed frontier land, no really established courier system). But that is the plan currently! Thank you, Scaly! Yeah, we need a rule of thumb for here, because this is more stress than I need. Hi Sal!! I am having a lovely, relaxed morning this morning! It’s been so refreshing! Sending love back! ❤️ Thank you, Sepherina! Hi Friends! Dave and Houseguest left at 5:30 this morning to go to the city to deal with passport shenanigans. Apparently the government can’t do the 24 hour passport thing anymore, the minimum is three days or something like that? So Dave had to go in today and will go back to pick it up on Thursday, administrative gods willing. This means that I have had the house to myself this morning and it has been so peaceful and quiet. I made my favourite coffee because I am the only one drinking it, did Bujos and Tarot, and now I am here and caught up on the forums. Houseguest will be returning this evening, but should be dropped off for keeps on Thursday’s return trip. This is fine by me. Today is Dave’s birthday and I feel bad that he is having to run around and deal with this on his day. We have had a terrible track record of things going wrong on his birthday the last few years and I was hoping this wasn’t going to be the case this year. This isn’t as bad as it could be though, so I’ll take it. Depending on what time they get back today we may still play the 2e game tonight. That would be nice. I succeeded in keeping the earplugs in all night again last night and was able to sleep in my bed. It was very good. My weighted blanket felt wildly heavy this morning for some reason so that was a bit weird. We got some interesting news about Dave’s job yesterday. Nothing related to Latvia and very much another “wait and see” kind of thing, but interesting. If it happens it will be a really good thing I think. Challenging, but good. As per usual no idea how long we will need to wait to know what is going on. This is the Army way. *lol* Twelve days left in this challenge including today and I am feeling completely derailed. I had such high hopes for momentum on this challenge and it has not played out that way. I am trying to be okay with it. This is a long haul project, it can’t speed along all the time. Today’s card was the Ace of Fire and said “you already possess the power you need but may not recognize it in yourself” and I feel called out. One thing this challenge has made very clear is that I “only” seem to make progress when my world is predictable - there is not a lot of plasticity or robustness built in for variation. I think I need to figure out how to bomb-proof some of these habits and routines so I don’t get so derailed when things aren’t going to plan. Long-term horizon, there are some potential big shifts that might be coming (Latvia, I am looking at you) and I don’t want to lose the thread if they come to pass. I am not sure how to go about bomb-proofing, because I think it largely comes down to executive function and will power, two things I am not the best with. Food for thought, anyway. Alright, I need to go deal with the dishes. I hope that you are feeling rock solid in your routines and inspired to something creative today. Thanks for being here. ❤️

Yeah, it came out recently. I was really on the fence about it, but succumbed once I saw it in person. It is stunning. Good call switching to Pathfinder. My Friday and Sunday games are 5e (Tuesday is 2e) but I am really interested in Critical Role’s Daggerheart system or MCDM’s forthcoming as-yet-unnamed RPG system. This is true. Thank you, Harriet. ❤️ I only count beans if they are fresh garden beans, not canned. Same with tomatoes, generally. I am hoping the lower frequency/amount will be enough that I can enjoy a little bit without too much trouble. But as someone said earlier, sometimes a little is a hassle and it’s easier to just not have any. That is a good system. Thank, Shello. Glad to have you! Hi Silmarilliane! Great to have you! True. Thank goodness for cheese. ❤️ Thanks, AP. I wasn’t aware of the desiccant issue, I will have to read more about that. Thank you! *nod* Worms. Not my ideal food source. *lol* Hi Friends! I woke up at 5:45 this morning which is wildly early for me. I was out of bed by six which is even more unusual. Dave was surprised. So was I, to be honest. I have completed my morning routine plus rolled my tip coin and taken the laundry upstairs and it is only 9 am. 😳I don’t work until noon so I have two and a half hours more time to fill. I am boggled. I think I might try working on some fiction writing, I’ve been wanting to do that lately. But I will finish my update here first. Work went pretty well yesterday and then I came home and cooked supper. I had forgotten to ask for a gluten free sandwich to be made for me while the kitchen was open and then my break kept getting delayed for various reasons so I didn’t want to delay it further so I just didn’t eat. That meant that when I got home I was very ready for food. Not hungry per se, but aware I probably should eat. There are some gluten free treats at work (a brownie and a confetti square) that are grab and go, but I didn’t want the sugar bomb so I did without. I have some protein bars that I can put in my bag to ward off this kind of thing in the future. After supper Dave and I just hung out which was really nice. Bryon came over briefly to pick up his birthday dice that I ordered from Black Oak Workshop. It was my first time ordering from them and I was impressed. I might get one of their advent calendars this year to see how it is. In bed early which probably accounts for my early morning. I sure love getting to go to bed early if I want to. No Revenge Bedtime Procrastination here. Dave texted this morning after he left for work that the couch and loveseat we had checked out at the Canex have been marked down to clearance, meaning that both pieces are available for $1600. He also checked our Canex credit and we have enough open that we can do it if we want to. I am very tempted. The Army’s Canex credit is a zero interest system that direct debits off Dave’s pay and we can spread it out over three years so it’s really doable for that amount. That information isn’t making resisting the urge any easier. 😅 Our current loveseat is slowly getting on my nerves more and more lately and here is a solution literally falling in my lap. We are going to go look at it again after work and see if we like it enough to do it. My only real concern is that the new couch is higher than our current couch which may make it harder for Sax to get up on. But we could make him a stool or something if necessary. The current loveseat is ~20 years old and has seen far better days, so even though we could save it with repairs, I am not devoted to it. We inherited it from someone else when they were done with it and it broke shortly after we got it. Look at me, talking myself into the new, shiny thing. Argh. I hope that you have an excellent day today. May the birds surprise you with a serenade! Thanks for being here. ❤️

This seems super useful. Thanks for putting it on our radar. Thanks, Ever. The last week has felt very crowded. Thank you for affirming my perception. 😅 Thank you! I love collecting dice and playing with them, it’s as close to a gem hoarding dragon as I am ever going to get. It’s an abandoned keep that belonged to a wizard and a fighter. It’s a sprawling 2e monstrosity of a dungeon that makes no practical sense as a keep and it’s in the middle of the woods with no farming land or anything around it, but if we can be absentee landlords it’s worth hanging on to and seeing if we can develop it. Sooooo glad it is almost over. *lol* Sleep does make everything easier. I have been much more myself the past few days of not sleeping on the couch. I think you’re right. I need to sit with these ideas of exponential growth and unreasonability. Hi Rho! So good to see you! ❤️ Thank you so much for your kind words. It’s been a bit of a trial, but I’ve been so grateful for everyone’s support. Fire! It is frustrating, but it will sort itself out eventually. Absolutely. Morning, Friends! Today is the last day of Houseguest! I am so excited to have my house back! Dave will hopefully have his passport when he gets back from the city this evening and all will be well. I finally put two and two together that he is leaving at 4am on Sunday and I work on Saturday so we are not going to get a ton of time together between now and then, but it is what it is and I will take what I can get. We had birthday lasagna last night and it was delicious. Wheat noodles but worth it to use up the graveyard of boxes in the pantry that had two and three noodles in them. Friends came over and ate and then everyone took off pretty early so we played more Heroes before going to bed at 10. I slept well and woke up feeling very rested so hopefully today is a good day. I have decided that my two players are facing some Xorn in tomorrow’s game so I got Dave to print me up three Xorn minis. They are going to look so cool! I am hoping they are done printing early enough tonight (and that Dave is home early enough to wash and cure them for me) that I can start painting them tonight so I can finish painting them tomorrow morning. I’d like to have them done before game tomorrow night. I won’t be upset if I can’t finish, but I’d like to if I can. I think the final boss fight of this region is going to be an undead dragon whose bones are made of glass and filled with some kind of smoke, but I haven’t gotten into the mechanics as much as aesthetics. I have some time though, I don’t think they will fight that boss for a few weeks. I am going to do some game prep now and maybe make a second cup of coffee. I hope that you have something to celebrate today, even if it is the absence of an irritant. Thanks for being here! ❤️

Thanks, Sea-to-sky. I know! Your thread is always so inspiring for me! Thanks, Jarric. Very true! Thanks, Ever. Hi Friends, Once again the total satisfaction of having an empty house is not to be underestimated. I am so happy to sit here in silence with my coffee and just vibe. *happy sigh* Today’s card was the Hanged Man, which talks about being suspended in time and on hold before taking the next step and the necessity of changing your perspective on something. It feels very, very apt for this final week of the challenge and these two weeks that Dave is gone. I will continue to surrender to the reset process and enjoy this inhalation and pause that I have got going on. Weighed in this morning and I am up three pounds from two weeks ago. I am not surprised in the least. I think a chunk of it is water weight as I haven’t been good about the wheat for the last few days (not terrible, but not abstaining either), but I doubt that is all it is given how much we ate out/ordered in and didn’t eat plants while Houseguest was here. I am looking forward to getting back on track with the food that loves me back. I threw out some bread yesterday and froze the rest of it in the garage freezer so it’s out of sight, out of mind and bought some veggies to get on with. I am really proud of getting rid of the bread and then freezing the rest because Past Me (like just-starting-the-forums Me) would have insisted on eating it until it was gone and *then* starting whatever plan I had. It’s nice that I am not in that place anymore and can rearrange my environment to better suit my goals, especially when Dave is gone. Today I have the consult for my reproductive surgery so looking forward to that. Then I have set myself a to-do list that is both housework and creative work for game, so I think that will be good for me to dig into. I hope that your pen writes perfectly today and you get a compliment you weren’t expecting. Thanks for being here. ❤️

You have so much to offer. ❤️ That is such a great gif. I think this meditation on downtime and security of future momentum is wise. Thank you. That sounds really interesting. Thanks Ever! This is all very solid. Thanks, Sea-to-sky. ❤️ Maintenance is definitely a win. I just struggle to see that sometimes without it being pointed out to me, so thank you for that. This extended visit has been challenging and the obstacles have certainly been pushing back hard. You’re right, I’ve done pretty well considering. This is interesting to think about. Thanks, Kishi. Me too! Thanks, athousandwords! We are going to do birthday lasagna tonight as Dave didn’t have much energy for anything last night. Thanks, Scaly. I think you are absolutely right, Snarky. I have a tendency to minimize my discomfort/setbacks/inconvenience/suffering (“suffering” seems like a dramatic word, but I am thinking of it in the Buddhist attachment sense here) due to Past Life crap, and I completely discount the recovery for that reason as well. Trying to be real about this kind of stuff and actually process it rather than move on from it by ignoring it is a bit of a challenge. I appreciate you affirming that I handled this okay. Hearing about the Visiting Uncle and your reactions and coping skills was very grounding for me. Thank you for sharing with me as you have. There will be. You are absolutely right. (I have no idea. Feels like it has gone so fast!) Thank you so much for these words. I take for granted these “superpowers” because I have always done them and extrapolate that into assuming other people do them with similar ease. It really did help that Dave took his turn on the couch (and that I found earplugs) and that he took Houseguest to the shop for a while. He is good at problem solving as long as he accepts that there is a problem. Thank you. ❤️ The walk did feel really good yesterday. I think I am going to make it a regular thing in good weather. This will be more convenient for Dave as well as he won’t have to arrange his day to get me to work. I am almost Houseguest free. Thank goodness. And thank you for spending a bunch of your time reading here to get caught up. I know how busy you are lately and I appreciate you spending the time with me. ❤️ RIGHT?? Nope! I love how this community shares information. ❤️ Lol Hi Friends! It is, as Heidi pointed out, Wednesday and I am almost Houseguest free! 🥳 It turned out to be a blessing that Houseguest went into the city with Dave to do the passport stuff because Dave had filled out the wrong paperwork for the passport and needed a guarantor for the correct paperwork and they could do that for him. So hooray for that. The new passport will be ready tomorrow afternoon and Dave will drop off Houseguest when he goes into the city and I will have my house and husband back for a few days before he leaves. Whew. The earplugs have been doing heavy lifting and I was able to sleep quite well last night. It snowed again so the bedroom was quite cold when I woke up this morning, but I had blankets and was quite content. Houseguest has stayed sleeping this morning so far so I got to have coffee and wake up with Dave and that was very nice. He’s just left for work so I am finishing up coffee, Bujos and Tarot, and now Forums. Then I am going to go into the basement and try to find an RPG sourcebook I am missing. It’s got to be down there somewhere. I am missing one or more players each week for the next seven weeks, so planning is going to be interesting. This week I have only two players (my wizard and my Druid) so that will be something to plan for specifically. I normally don’t run for just duets, but I really want to play this week so we are going to give it a go. Yesterday at work I had one of the gluten free brownies that we bring in and it was AMAZING. I never would have guessed it was gluten free. And now I know how good they are and will have to resist eating them all of the time. *lol* It was a nice pick me up in a good day. Dave was back in town in time to pick me up from work which was an unexpected and excellent surprise. We went and got the fixings for Instant Pot roast and made that for supper. Then we played more Heroes with Houseguest before crashing at 9:30. A pretty decent evening, really. Today is day three of my six day work week this week. I do get a two day weekend though, as I have next Monday off. I am happy about the two days. Makes the six in a row easier. I hope that your underroos fit you exactly right today. I am stuck between wildly too big and barely too small and it is so vexing. *lol* Thanks for being here. You’re all amazing. ❤️

I walked to work today for the first time since I started in September! It went well and took 18 minutes. I wasn't particularly hustling, but had a good pace. I wore my Soucany sneakers with my orthotics and my feet feel pretty reasonable. Hopefully I get through my shift with no issues. Would be nice to make this a regular thing in good weather!

It is, and yes. This morning is particularly rough. Sure does. Thanks, Kishi. I think I am leaning pretty heavily on y’all lately, but oh my goodness, I don’t know what else to do. I am just so frustrated. Thanks, AP. Everything you have said really resonates. Dave not being bothered is pretty standard for us and while he is slowly improving on working on things if I am bothered by them, it is still definitely imperfect. I have mentioned to him that I am not happy about Houseguest not helping to pay for groceries while spending their money on a new bong. I have said that I am unhappy sleeping on the couch. I have brought up my dissatisfaction with not knowing when Houseguest is leaving. But Dave is just letting me speak and not really responding to anything, so I am getting fairly frustrated with him at this point as well. I appreciate that he is letting me air my grievances (this is a relatively new thing) but I wish he were doing more to meet me where I am with this. I really appreciate your tangent about your brother, makes me feel less alone. Thanks, Mistr. I don’t know that we are going to manage any alone time, but more because I am feeling aggrieved and resentful and don’t really want to spend time right now if it isn’t solving my issues. Which really sucks and I know it’s not the best mindset. It is a very good idea though, if I can get my heart into it instead of being resentful. Thanks, Scaly. I don’t feel graceful or positive this morning. Thank you, Heidi! That’s delicious!! Thank you, Friend. I love your face. ❤️ Thanks for the recipe, Bouncer! Will be checking out the library. I don’t prefer earplugs because they feel smothering for me, but I can do them in a pinch. I am getting quite close to “a pinch”. Whooooo boy. Thanks, Dearheart. I am not feeling relentlessly positive today. I will try to get to the pharmacy today and see what they have for options for earplugs. Thanks, Timo. I am pretty frustrated this morning, with Houseguest and with Dave. Feels like there is no win here right now. That might be because I was on the couch again last night and I am uncomfortable in my body today as a result. I keep telling myself that it is going to be fine. That feels like the only option. *sigh* Hi Friends, I am having a really tough go this morning. I am tired and sore and grumpy and oh my… Just feeling really, really done with this whole situation. I went to work three hours early yesterday just to get out of the house. I worked on my game prep and that was good although I wasn’t really sure what I needed to be focused on for the prep. But sitting at a sunny table and drinking lattes (one was decaf) while I prepped was a lovely change of pace. Shift went well and then Dave made supper when I got home. We ended up playing Heroes of Might and Magic for the evening, which was fine. Then I went to bed and moved to the couch just after 3 am. I am stress eating a bit and I don’t like it. Nothing really catastrophic, but definitely the random spoonfuls of peanut butter, some cheese, etc. I bought some berries and figs yesterday in an effort to get a bit more fibre in because my digestion is not what it should be and I think the lack of plants is the culprit. I am doing pretty well with the no wheat, although I absolutely had some cinnamon raisin bread the other night because I was feeling sorry for myself about all of this. I am trying hard to stay the course with the no-wheat and I am 95% successful. I’ll take that even if it could be better. Today’s card is the Ten of Air - Alfalfa, from the Herbcrafter’s Tarot. Key message is that you may have reached your limit and you need to regroup and compost your experience to set yourself up for future success and contentment. No kidding, deck. 😅 I hope that you are having a better start to your day than I am. I am so grateful for you and your support here. ❤️

Thank you. This person is incredibly important to Dave so I (honestly, we, he wasn’t told they were coming either and is similarly flat footed about it, but not emotionally inconvenienced the way I am) are feeling some kind of way about -not- being good hosts. I feel very torn about all of this, as I think I have established. He is much more go-with-the-flow about it, as he is about everything in life. Where I feel guilt about not being a good host (baggage from the high expectations of my first marriage), Dave just doesn’t care and isn’t inconvenienced by anything *because* he doesn’t care. I am not in a position to ask HouseGuest to leave without starting some shit with Dave though, and I don’t want to do that while we are still working on the reintegration. The further difficulty is that Sax LOVES them. They give him a lot of time and attention and honestly, very good care, so Sax thinks they hung the moon. He may get over exuberant sometimes, but the bong is not at risk, sadly. I am honestly a little jealous about the way my dog interacts with them. The cousin situation sounds rough! I am sorry you had to deal with that. I think I would have made the noise about paining the spare room if I’d had any notice that this was coming. I do need to get it done. *lol* Lol!!! Great gif! Thanks, Sal! The external offering of rage just isn’t an option right now without causing a lot of problems that I don’t want to deal with. There is a small library, I can check that out. I don’t remember workspaces from my last visit, but that was pre-Covid so things might be different now. I might also be able to go to the gym. Normally I would take Dave with me if I were doing weights, but there is enough I can do alone that I don’t need him there. It will remain to be seen how I manage that after a work session, but I have been wanting to find out so I guess soon is as good a time as any. The hot bath I can handle at least; my ensuite bathroom has the epic tub and that is off limits to everyone except me. Even Dave doesn’t go in there. So that is a good retreat. We don’t have the money for a hotel room right now - honestly, I am not even sure we have enough for groceries for the next ten days feeding three people without having to resort to credit which I don’t want to do if we can avoid it - but I wish we did. It’s going to be fine, but I am vexed. The couch was better to sleep on last night and I moved downstairs earlier in the night so got more uninterrupted sleep. I think things will continue to improve with the couch texture the more I use it. It is brand new and very stiff. ❤️ I love this for you. And I am glad that Nic is holding ground with the Heidisms. If he can’t keep up with you, he doesn’t deserve you. Thank you so much. ❤️ Mmm, solid insight. That makes a lot of sense. Thank you. ❤️ Morning, Friends! Yesterday I ate a smoothie for breakfast and had a lettuce wrapped burger for dinner with some baby cucumbers. I didn’t manage lunch. But I could hear Harriet in my head all day giving me good food advice, so thanks for that, Friend. ❤️ I moved to the couch at 12:45 this morning and had a better sleep than I did the night before. I am feeling more prepared for my day and that is good. I am taking a coworker to do the InBody scan this morning and then we are going out for breakfast before I work at 11. I might check back here if there is time between breakfast concluding and getting ready for work. I thank you deeply for the support and care you are offering. I am leaning heavily on it right now. I hope that you see some kerning on a sign that makes you do a double take today. That’s always fun. Thanks for being here. ❤️

Hi Everyone, I'm not going to reply to individual comments because I'm on my phone instead of my keyboard and it's a bit trickier this way, but thank you so much for validating my feelings about all of this. I know all I can do is accomodate because this is happening whether I want it to or not, but I'm still out of sorts about it. Dave is on his way to the city to pick up said friend, so I'm at work early killing time until I start at 11. My lifting goal hasn't gotten off the ground so far this challenge and I'm concerned it's not going to at this rate. I've been a bit unfocused since Dave got home which is pretty normal for reintegration, but I'm low key frustrated by my lack of consistency. I'm happy I'm doing other things, like painting and some cooking. But I'd like to be doing *all* the things. As would we all, I assume. Oof, not in the best mood today. I'm going to sign off so I don't contaminate all of your days. 😉 I hope that you find something fun to tuck in your pocket today. Thanks for being here. 💜

Hmmm. Compost guest? Beautiful gift of body to earth? Plant flowers on lovely rich body-soil for future contentment? No, no, cannot use guest body without permission even if it would nourish flowers delightfully. Composting perhaps meant more abstractly. Hmmm. Unsure how to actually practice abstract composting.

Thank you for your solidarity. Exactly. Yup! We had 36 hours notice. Their return ticket is booked for the 20th. No idea if they are staying with us the whole time or not. That's what happened last time. I am very sensitive to sulking people, it really sets off my baggage. Solid loving advice, as usual. Thanks, Harriet. 💜 Thank you for validating my feelings. I can ask Dave to manage it, but I'm not sure it will change anything in a way that's favourable. Thank you. Yeah! Yikes! 😬😅 Sounds about right. So far nothing. I'm going to talk to Dave a bit more about it tonight and see what I can come up with. Thanks, All. You're helping me feel more level about all of this. 💜

Hi Sal! You are also amazing! Thank you for popping in here!! ❤️ Thanks, athousandwords. I appreciate hearing that. ❤️ I am going to do my best with that, but I am feeling hellishly unmotivated to do anything right now. I can’t tell if it is general resentment of the situation, my poor sleep the past few nights, or what, but I feel like I am in stasis mode right now. I hope this feeling passes. I really don’t like it and it compounds itself with feelings of inadequacy and incompetence. Thank you, my darling Philosopher Dragon. Lifting while I want to cuss at the houseguest might very well become a thing. We are not off to a smooth start. ❤️ You are not wrong! 😂 I wish that were an option. They spent all of their available money on the plane tickets so we are pretty much on the hook for everything else. Hi Friends, I will do my best to not (only) complain about the houseguest, but holy word this is going to be a trying experience for me, I can already tell. They have stayed with us before and some visits have been better than others, but this one is already off to a rocky start although it’s mostly in my head (which is what matters for me). This means I can do work to try and acclimate and change my attitude, but I get stuck in that loop where accommodation to make the best of something that is really bothering me that I can’t change rubs up on my damage from Earlier Life and well, yeah. That sucks. The current issue is Houseguest has started smoking weed again (they had quit the last time they were here) and I struggle with the smell and don’t particularly want the bong sitting on my kitchen table waiting for use. I don’t have a problem with marijuana use at all, other than I don’t like the smell and don’t particularly want the accoutrements hanging out. They are smoking in the yard, not in the house, so that is good. But it lingers on clothes and on the bong and the funk wears on me. Argh. I know from past experience that asking them to keep the bong in their room will build resentment that I don’t want to deal with, especially so early in the visit. I didn’t eat yesterday other than a packet of gluten free cookies and a vodka soda after work which is hardly ideal but I am struggling to care at the moment. I didn’t sleep well last night (ended up on the couch because Dave was snoring and Houseguest is in the guest room) and it’s impacting my mood pretty heavily today. I took my morning antidepressants as I usually do, but if I am not feeling better by the time I need to head to work I might take another tab to see if that helps boost things a tiny bit. With how little sleep I got last night I can tell this is going to be a rough day. The couches are great to sit on but a tiny bit too firm for comfy sleeping with my wide hips. Plenty long enough though, which was great as I am rather tall. I’d better get used to it as I could be spending quite a few nights down here as Dave’s seasonal allergies are acting up now that the snow is melting and the snow mold is doing its thing. Weight is holding steady despite my inattention to diet or exercise so I am going to take that as a blessing and be grateful for it. Maintenance is a win as one of my besties would say. I feel like this challenge could derail pretty hard if this visit remains a struggle. I will have to dig deep for the discipline to be checking off the Bujo goals every day. I hope that your home is a serene safe space today and that something blue makes you pause and smile. Thanks for being here. ❤️

That is what we are thinking, too. Interesting! Thanks, Harriet! We won’t know if we are going until next Spring quite likely. And this would be replacing the couch and loveseat we already have so it’s a substitution rather than a stock as such. I am less concerned about that part of things because if we go the Army arranges to move our household goods over there for us, so it is expected that we would have furnishings to furnish any place we rent. I’ve heard really good things about Blades in the Dark. It’s on my list. Bryon just got the book for Candela Obscura as well, so we might try that out in short order, too. MCDM is releasing play test stuff through their Patreon pretty steadily, but I am not subscribed to that any more because I am trying to save my pennies and pay off this debt. So I will wait and twiddle my thumbs as well. *lol* As I said above, the shipping part of things doesn’t concern me too much as there are policies in place for that kind of thing if we end up getting posted. But thank you. ❤️ I watched the CR one shot for Daggerheart (and their session zero character building stream) and really enjoyed what I saw. I need to watch the “how to play” videos because I am a bit confused about how things in combat work for the DM which is the role I’d be in, but I am excited to give it a go. There are a few things that you’d have to either watch for or have a really mature table to deal with (mature as in seasoned, not necessarily older) like the fact that combat is narrative at this point and there is no initiative order to make sure everyone is getting a turn while it is happening. I really enjoyed that, but I can see it not going well if you have someone at the table who hogs the spotlight, or someone else who struggles to speak up. The crit success system is fun (it’s a two d12 system, so if you get the same number on both dice you crit) but I didn’t notice a crit fail mechanism anywhere (I haven’t read the rules packet deeply yet) which seemed a curious omission. Not necessarily a bad thing, just curious. I enjoy the rolling “with Hope/with Fear” mechanic as far as I understand it, although need to read up on it more, too. All in all, it’s shiny and I am interested. Hi Friends! Off to a rougher start this morning. Had a very weird dream about being in some gothic version of the university I went to for my undergrad and being unable to access my timetable online so not being able to find my class. Other stuff was also happening that I no longer recall. Felt a lot of stress when I woke up. Plus it was cold in our room (Dave sleeps with the window open and it snowed again last night) so I was reluctant to get out of bed despite a headache and desire for coffee. Just a weird start. Dave decided to leave for work really early today and came in to get dressed. He leaned over me to give me a kiss while I was in bed and Saxon started growling at him. So I sat up and Sax still growled when Dave leaned in again. So I got up and stood and finally got my kiss. Dave was in his uniform while Sax was reacting and that always seems to be the case even though Sax hasn’t growled in a while. To be fair, I don’t think Dave has leaned over me in a while, either. Sax was a rehome from a military family who were going through a divorce and he gets very possessive of me and reactive when Dave looms over me, especially in uniform. Makes me wonder if there wasn’t some domestic violence going on in his first home because the reaction is very strong. He and Dave seem fine now (the growling reaction never seems to bleed into other reactions. As soon as Dave is no longer over me, Sax relaxes) and Dave has left for work. We are out of cream this morning so Dave didn’t make coffee and this did not sit well with me as I was headache-y and kind of whiny. So I asked him to go get me a coffee and bring it home before he went into the office. He agreed. I love that he is willing to do these kinds of things when they (very rarely) happen. We are normally very good about having what we need for coffee in the house - it’s a love language here. But I feel very loved when he takes the time to do these things for me. I was successful with no wheat and lots of veggies yesterday. We got Subway for supper and they have a new rice bowl option that I tried and it was a very reasonable thing to eat when you don’t want to have the sub bread. I enjoyed it quite a bit. It’s nice to know there is another fast food option that isn’t terrible in our tiny town. We played 2e last night (Pete died of poison and I will be unconscious for the next six days while I recover from the same poison - 2e is lethal) and it went well enough. I did eat most of a bag of sour gummies. I think I will need to make sure those aren’t on my side of the screen next time because I am pretty compulsive about gummies and will just tear through them. I definitely snack more when I am a player than when I am the DM. I knew that, but last night affirmed it yet again. I’d kind of forgotten because I haven’t been a player in almost 2 months. Today’s card was Mushroom (the Tower) from the Herbcarfter’s Tarot. Themes of transformation, decomposition, recycling, and nourishment as we begin something anew. I like this version of the Tower quite a bit, it’s more nurturing than alarming, at least for me. I will think on that today and see where it takes me. Off to do my lifts! I hope that you smell something so delightful and robust today that you can practically taste it. Thanks for being here. ❤️

Alright, our boy is a doctor! Now to imbibe a fry-up and wander over to the gym for a leg day. Possibly with an hour or two between those activities.

2024 Road map Last challenge results Downtime Last challenge I burned out and bailed pretty hard, mainly because work was mega busy and life in general felt really tough. And then when I got to the end of the challenge, and I was no longer sitting on the sofa of an evening thinking 'I still need to tick off 4 of my 6 goals', I felt like a huge weight had been lifted. So, this challenge cycle, I'm doing less. I've deliberately posted this thread late, because on Monday and Tuesday this week work was mad busy (as I knew it would be). From today I've got 8 days off, so this seems like a better time to actually commit to showing up to the forums. With the obligatory gif out of the way, let's get into this shall we? Only two party members for this challenge, who are using their downtime between adventures in the time-honoured fashion of either making stuff or training. They are: The cartographer Goal: Draw every day [+3 CHA] This is the thing I did worst at last challenge, so it's getting special attention. I've still not cracked a regular drawing habit, so if anyone has any tips on getting to that or any idea where I can get more inspiration/accountability then please let me know. Ultimately I just want to get a pen or pencil in my hand for a few minutes every day. Things I could draw (just so that I don't get stuck on the thinking about what to do stage, this gives me an easy list of options): High Rollers fan art My current Pathfinder party My players' D&D characters The adventuring party I use for these challenges Animal drawing exercises from the drawing book I have Calligraphy practice from the calligraphy book WW bought me Draw along with the Sketching Hour on CNE Games Twitch. Stuff in the Quentin Blake drawing book I've only just remembered I have I found a cool April character drawing challenge online (under the spoiler below) Whatever else takes my fancy The muscle Goal: do my kneehab™ exercises every day [+2 STR] I buggered up my knee 8 weeks ago whilst out on a run, and it's pretty much no better now than it was then. I've been really good at sticking to the physio exercises for the last 3 weeks, because I'm doing them as part of my morning workouts and making them a priority, so I just need to continue with that. I saw the physio today and he basically said this just needs more time, so I'm focussing what I can control (kneehab) and hoping the rest will take care of itself. Other stuff I'll also be doing a lot of the usual stuff, I just won't be tracking it as part of this challenge to take some pressure off. That includes: I've signed up for the latest weight loss PvP, so I'll still be tracking calories daily and seeing if I can lose 11lbs in the next 12 weeks I'll be keeping my Duolingo streak alive (at 562 days currently) studying French and Dutch. I've also started playing with Lingopie for French. I'll be making an effort not to spend money most days, to build up some savings and stop frivolous spending I'll be going to the gym 4 times per week and climbing twice per week as ever, and I'm going to try and cement in the 3 times per week cycling in lieu of running Maybe clean the damn house occasionally? At least enough for the boiler service and the new internet installation. I actually started tracking my goals from Monday, even though I wasn't posting the challenge until today, so time to hit the ground (metaphorically) running.

Maybe it's spring. Maybe it's hanging out with old people and not wanting to be like them. Or maybe it's the 18 month work break and finally recovering. But I feel like it might just be ready to challenge again! 🤯 My first keystone goal is to care of my sanity. I'm staying with my grandma who has Alzheimer's and it gets tiring. Her mood swings make me tense and her behaviors make me sad. Acknowledge this instead of hiding away in easy entertainment and then 4 days later wonder why I'm incapacitated after doing nothing. For this movement is key. I'm currently doing floor flow training and while some of it is technical, a lot of it touches on how to change state to easier get into flow. It's super interesting and the techniques and movements have been really helpful in connecting with how I feel and what I need, especially when combined with music. I've tried journaling and mindfulness and meditation in the past but it's never done anything for me, so discovering this is pretty cool. This ties in with my second goal, which is to do the homework as I'm terribly behind. Some of it I've done but haven't submitted because it requires minor video editing that I've been procrastinating. And some I've been procrastinating because it requires me to apply more... process for lack of a better word and it feels weird. One thing that's come up multiple times in the course Q&A sessions is what to do when things don't feel good. It can be physical niggles, or uncomfortable emotions coming up, or fatigue that's surfacing. And the answer's always a variation of approaching the resistance with curiosity and focus on feeling what is really happening in the body, rather than judgement or instantly trying to fix it or suppress it. I feel there's a life lesson here. And it's one I want to try and apply to art, where I have huge amounts of resistance to getting started but once I'm in it I'm happy. Goal 1a - Go to the gym every morning.* I was never a gym person, but in my current situation it's become a welcome escape, so I want to try going near daily, as an experiment. At the gym do a check in and decide what my body needs. More flow, more oomph (lifting), more play (handstands, using the gym equipment "wrong"...). *Unless I have other plans, go play outside, the weather's really bad or I really, really don't wanna. Goal 1b - Learn to love the lifting. Do the thing FFS as @sylph so eloquently put it. Goal 2 - Do all the things! Yes this is my goal, shut up. 😛 Floor training homework Website for mum Dissect mouse before someone finds it in the freezer Secret art related project Try out the local pole studios Finish leather bag Read a book Get a haircut my shaved part has grown so long it's starting to curl and it looks ridiculous Taxes Other money things Goal 3 - Finish BG3 (taking a note from @WhiteGhost here, and accepting that it will suck up my time until I'm done) Goal 4 - Let myself get as invested in art as in video games. I really want a more or less daily creative practice. Goal 5 - Show up here!! To help with this I'm going to try something of a routine. A baby step, experimental one as my track record with routines is... not great. Use my movement tools to face the Resistance. Am coffee, NF and deciding what on my to-do list I'd like to do today. Perhaps prep it so it's ready to go in the afternoon. Go to gym. Set an alarm to leave before 10-11 (?) in case I get distracted by stuff. Set another alarm for 13-14 (?) in case I still haven't started doing *a* thing. Have a bit of quiet floor time just after my grandma's gone to bed to shake off the day. Art will probably go under *a* thing, or maybe I'll add a separate block or... we'll figure it out. I won't start this "routine" yet, now it's easter and everything's closed, and then my mum will come to visit. But I'm going to do my best this challenge. (Uggh that felt awfully committing to write) Now to the gym before it closes!

Mine too. It really is! Yes, absolutely. Thanks, Scaly! Hi Friends! It is mid evening here and I have had a good day. Had a long video call coffee with Chantale this morning, saw Les and Martin for a bit this afternoon, and then tied into getting my dishes done and some tidying done in the kitchen and living room. After I had the dishwasher running I smudged the kitchen with pine resin smoke and let it infuse the main floor. I feel mentally a lot better having the chores and smudge done. House reclaimed after the Houseguest. Dave left at 4 am this morning so I am on my own for the next two weeks. I am starting at 11 each day instead of noon for workdays so the little bit of extra money will be nice. We had to advance some off our line of credit because Dave’s work advance hasn’t dropped into the account yet and he was travelling today. Hopefully the claim drops tomorrow and I can just pull that money back onto the line of credit. I really don’t like having it tapped out like that, especially because I was just saying how happy I was having a tiny buffer on the Visa. Having a tiny buffer on the Visa *and* the line of credit is even better. I feel like I am digging trenches with my teeth when it comes to this debt management, but I am determined. I have decided on my theme for next challenge. Inspired by @Jarric, @Everstorm, @Sea-to-sky, and @Harriet’s whole Gastropod Studies Thread, it is going to be “Marginalia”. I will be maintaining my “regular” passel of Bujo goals around eating and hydration and such, but subbing out my “adulting” checkbox for a “drawing” one. I don’t have to commit to anything huge or involved, just a little something. I’ve been toying with this for a while but haven’t felt like I should be taking my focus off more physical-health focused goals to do a creative challenge. Houseguest reaffirmed to me that I need to be gentle with myself and refill my well and creative things do that for me. I haven’t decided if I will update my doodles here daily/weekly/whatever but I will get that figured out. Part of this is because I sat down and systematically browsed the JetPens washi selection last night and some lovely watercolour lemons made me wonder why I am not just doodling more in my own books when I have the skills to do so. I think I get frustrated when things aren’t to my taste when I make something that is rushed or less interesting, but I have old sketchbooks that are fun to flip through because they are full of experiments and somehow I have lost the thread of that adventurous nature the past few years. I’d like to find it again. I am not sure if I am doing the doodling in my Bujo, my Cousin, or a sketchbook yet. I’ll think that through in the next week or so, too. So I guess look forward to that? I am nervous but excited. Dave has said that he is interested in returning to the gym once he’s back from Europe, too, so maybe next challenge will see some of that, too. Alright, I need some supper. I hope that you have had a gentle weekend and that you ease into the week feeling refreshed and on track. Thanks for being here. ❤️

Thanks, Mistr. I feel much more like myself. Game was great! Thanks, Heidi. Houseguest is away and I am much more relaxed. ❤️ I love this artist so much. The whole series is so great. Thanks, Sea-to-sky. Birthday lasagna is amazing. And it has a layer of dry cured pepperoni under the top layer of cheese which is unusual and highly decadent. Thanks, Snarky! *scribbles notes frantically* I mean, of course! Yes, thankfully. lol Yup, all gone! I am enjoying the morning, I work at 11 today. Hopefully he packs and such while I am at work so we can spend the evening together. Blue skies! Hooray! ❤️ Morning Friends! Oh my goodness this having the house to ourselves is just SO LOVELY. *happy sigh* Now to get back on track for the last week of this challenge! I think today will be an easy day and I will start to square up a bit tomorrow after Dave heads out. I will have time to get my house tidy and some of my habits on track and see where it goes from there. I had been painting my Xorn for last night’s game yesterday morning when Dave texted and said he needed to take me to work an hour and a half early so he could be in a meeting. So I packed up my painting kit, planning to finish my figures at work and then start my shift. Except when I got there it was super busy so I ended up working right away. I am not mad about it because the extra money will be nice, but it did mean that I was frantically trying to paint eyes on my Xorn during my 15 minute break. *lol* Speaking of money I checked in on the Visa this morning and we are finally under the $29k mark that we have been holding steady at for the past while. I am so grateful that we didn’t put any money on the card while Houseguest was here. I used it to pay for a friend’s birthday present this morning, but I have the tip money I need to cover it so I will deposit that on Monday and apply the payment. I am finding that while I am definitely having my magpie moments (omg, I want so many sets of dice right now, it’s a little absurd) I am doing really well with my no spend. It is actually helping to remind myself that the debt reduction is more permanent than the stuff I want (or at least I am telling myself it is) and that I can have it later. In the nature of capitalism, maybe the exact things I want won’t be available, but other things that I will like will be. In other money talk, the Canadian government is issuing lump sum payments to disabled individuals and apparently the Bipolar qualifies. Something something tax credit? I admit, I don’t understand the mechanics of it, but it has the potential to be a *lot* of money. Like tens of thousands. It feels like a scam somehow, but my psych is aware of it and willing to help me fill out the paperwork needed to apply and my Dad and Aunt have both been after me to do it, so it seems very valid. My Aunt applied on my cousin’s behalf (he has ADHD) and got something like $12k back and a tax credit status that rolls forward each year, apparently forever? Friends, it seems way too good to be true but bet your butts I am going to try for it and see what comes of it. I am so well medicated that I don’t feel disabled most of the time, but as my Dad pointed out, where would I be without my meds? Certainly not holding down a job, married, etc. I would definitely be homeless and possibly dead if the suicidal ideation actually got me particularly badly at some point. It’s wild to think about. Anyway, cross your fingers for me that I get some kind of news about that in the future. My appointment to fill out the paperwork is in May and then it will probably take a few months to process. I am caffeinated and ready to face the day. I hope that you are likewise forward facing and full of verve. May the sun shine brightly on you at some point today and envelope you in warmth. Thanks for being here. ❤️

1. Helpfully pay for guest's ticket to elsewhere. 2. Regretfully explain that ticket money was taken out of rice and beans fund. 3. Starve guest out of the house like a reverse siege. 4. Victory dance! 5. Chocolate pudding.

This morning I woke up to a good-news message in the family group chat: The x-rays and CT scans are completely free of signs of cancer. A referral to an oncologist has been made, but as of right now there is nothing for an oncologist to treat. Phew! I have today off work, because I really needed a break. H and I went to early lunch/late brunch at a local restaurant with a patio that overlooks the small river running through town. They have tall trees around the patio and large umbrellas, making it possible to enjoy the river view without suffering from too much sun exposure, and the food was delicious as it always is there. As we were eating, we noticed people walking on the greenbelt by the river, and H suggested we should take our daily walk right after the meal and explore along the the river. It was the most destressing walk I've taken in months and we have resolved to go back to the greenbelt for more walks in the future. I didn't have energy for a workout yesterday, but I've meditated both days, and I'm making an deliberate effort to make smarter choices when it comes to food and drink, because certain things like (sugar, caffeine, alcohol) feed The Flame, and we don't need that right now. The river of course has bridges along the greenbelt, to make it easy to cross back and forth. During our walk we past one that had a really nice view of the river, so I took a picture. We are facing the current here, if I dropped a stick into the water it'd drift towards us in under the bridge and keep going, and it would go fast. Swimming absolutely not permitted in the river at this time of the year. Spoiler tag because big photo.

If I may add to this suggestion.... when you do go out on this date night (not "if" -- "when"!), set a firm rule for both of you that you will not complain about, vent about, problem-solve about, or in any other way discuss, your guest. Because if you do, you're not getting the break from the guest that you need. the date night should be about the two of you. Also I want to second everything that A.P. said about setting time aside to discuss ground rules for this and other guests for future visits. Especially if the guest is going to insist on leaving paraphernalia out that make your anxiety worse.... because Artemis is right that in a partnership, what genuinely bothers one should automatically be a problem for the other. I'm not accusing Dave of anything , or you for that matter. I'm trying to suggest that you two work as a team to figure out how to make future visits less stressful for both of you, and for you in particular. I'm going to take a wild guess that you'd be a lot less reluctant to have this particular guest over for a visit if you didn't have to worry about things like second hand smoke and other irritants. You're impressing me with your patience and your determination to see this through with grace and positivity. Keep it up! You've got this.

I agree with @Kishi, you are dealing the best you can under the circumstances. One suggestion (that I might have missed) is to schedule some time for just you and Dave. That is especially important since he is leaving right after your guest will leave. You and Dave get to have some personal "date night" time over the two weeks that his friend is there. You don't have to schedule anything extravagant, just get some time to spend together without worrying about another person in the next room. Either send the friend away for the evening or you two go do something, whatever would be more relaxing for you.

Thank you everyone. Today is better. I didn't realize how much I've completely neglected several basic form of self care until last night, right after H. got back from the gym. He was getting ready to shower, so I followed him into the bathroom to bounce some dinner ideas off him. The dinner conversation taken care of, this exchange took place: H: Can I ask you something that might sound offensive, but isn't meant that way? Me: Sure. Of course. H: When was the last time you showered? *awkward silence* Me: ...I don't remember... *more, awkwarder, silence* H: Could I convince you to please shower before you come to bed tonight? Me: Ohgodyes. Absolutely. *embarrassed, gradually amused, silence* Me: Thank you for hugging me earlier. I felt considerably better after my shower. I spent yesterday evening sort-of by myself, logging into LOTRO to join a weekly social music-event, where the other regulars immediately took note of my complete lack of enthusiastic participation, and wondered whether I was playing tonight or not. After being told only that I'd had a rough week and was tired, they expressed sympathy and hopes that my weekend would be better and then they completely backed off, which allowed me to enjoy the event and their company, without needing to spend too much energy at it. HP (physical health) Saturday: Gym day! After skipping my workouts on Tuesday and Thursday, going to the gym and lifting a barbell was exactly what I needed. H. and I went together, which is fortunate since I would have struggled so hard to get there on my own I probably wouldn't have, if he hadn't nagged pushed for it. I did 15 minutes rowing machines, barbell bench press, and seated rows at a cable machine. Mana (mindfulness/mental health) ...forgot. Dammit. Stamina (emotional energy) I edited songs for my LOTRO musician again. Today's project was to try and convert a couple of Dragonforce tracks to being played on a solo instrument in-game. I think I got it! And now I'm drinking hot chocolate, because I watched this video and it inspired me. Mine isn't nearly as elaborate though.

The Painted Red Skeleton Steed's actual default name is the very boring and uncreative "Dusk". Obviously I had to give her a better one. That aside.... I've been ignoring challenge updates here for a while, and it occurred to me that I should explain why. Plus, it'll be nice to vent a little. I will spoiler the venting, because it involves cancer -- not my own. I am perfectly healthy. (Aside from the high blood pressure and the eczema and the asthma and the anxiety disorder..... But otherwise healthy!) So I'm going to go eat chocolate and hug a cat now, and then I will do a kettlebell workout at home so I don't have to go to the gym and suffer their very questionable music choices.

I think...Dave's friend sounds like a pain in the ass. I love that you are rolling with this but I think it's fair to set some ground rules of the house while you let him know where things are. "Welcome to our house! You can take off your shoes here." And "This is the dishwasher, just put your dishes in it when you're done using it." When my pain in the ass Uncle stays, my mom will say "What's your plan for the day?" which is just a nice way to find out if he's going to eat everything in the fridge that day. or she'll say "I'm making this for dinner, will you be joining us or do you have other plans?" and then she knows if she needs to cook him food too. She'll also say "Hey, these things are for meals this week, so they're off limits until then, but you can help yourself to all THESE things." Also set ground rules immediately about tobacco use, and bringing home other people (like "Hey, this is a tobacco free house, because I have a lot of allergies" "Hey, please dont' bring home any surprise people because it will freak out the dog." ) If he's going out in the evening, talk about when he'll be home and negotiate with your bedtime in mind so you're not staying up late waiting for him. Blame the dog again! Don't give him a key!! I know this all sounds kinda negative-focused, but we've done this with my uncle and it's a non-combative way to just set expectations. I hope he's not a pain in the ass. I hope he offers to chip in for groceries and cleans up after himself and is a lot of fun and charming. I hope the visit goes really well, and you can come back and say "He's not a pain in the ass! Yay!"

Today... was a start. In the morning I set a gym alarm for 10:45, but felt extremely unfocused and couldn't decide what to do and felt physically paralyzed. So I wrote down all the points of Resistance - Do I go to the gym now? (But I just showered... And pants hurt my skin...) Do I go to my other grandma? She made a cake. I hate going there, but guilt. What art or todo do I want to make later? In the end I tried to get my grandma to leave the house because it was the "right" thing to do. But then she refused and got irritated at me so I left the house for the gym. Because I didn't want to be like her. Perhaps not the best motivator but hey it did make me leave the house. Surprisingly, I had an amazing session! 😍 Positively delicious. I came in and felt that today might be a handstand day. Up until now I've only sprinkled in a few handstands here and there, this was my first session in a year or three focusing on them. But I approached them in a completely different way. It's very easy to get very obsessive with handstands, trying over and over and over again, standing in a corner of the room staring at exactly the same spot on the floor. Today I did a few things differently, to start learning how to add flow and improve movement quality: - Between each handstand attempt I'd walk around the room, listening to a delightful soul playlist, dancing around and doing yummy, grindy blues movements, hip circles and body waves. (Favorite strength challenge of the day was to do hip circles and see how low I could go while keeping the movement smooth. My poor quads! 😄) - I didn't come to a full stop before attempting the handstand, instead I was mindful of how I placed my hands down on the floor, moving softly and only pushing when I needed to push. - Every time I fell out of the handstand I tried to use the momentum of the fall to do something else, like a roll or a spin, instead of jerkily stopping and going straight to the next attempt. - No camera to get obsessed about form. Feeling what my body is doing but without correcting everything straight away. I'm still extremely limited in how I enter the handstand, and I still can't help counting once I'm in it (curious if this is an ego thing or a focus thing) and my exits are far from smooth. But this felt SO good. And it allowed me to work on handstands for a lot longer as my strength endurance is very poor. I was beaming the whole way back. It was so warm and sunny I stayed out for a bit longer, sitting on a bench, listening to music, enjoying myself. In the evening I did a bit of art but it was really hard and I used up my focus juice very quickly. Brush pens are tricky yo. They require soooo much control. And inking an iguana with very few pencil guides is not a good noob project. It was fun, but I didn't last very long.

Taylor Tomlinson is having a goddamn moment. She's from a similar background as me and her humor hits like self-evident observations about my reality, but somehow American millennials are vibbing with her in a major way. Three specials so far and hosting the new Colbert-produced "After Midnight" show, our girl is slaying. Her 2019 5:00 set from Conan A 4:54 clip from from her 2020 Netflix Special "Quarter-Life Crisis". And finally, a 3:15 clip from her 2023 special "Have it All". [AI image generated by HotPot.AI with the prompt "The comedian Taylor Tomlinson as a Vampire Slayer, wielding a microphone as a weapon."] Slayer Training Lore Reading in bed by 11pm - 5x/week ✅ ✅ ✅ 🔲 🔲 Duolingo streak by noon - 7x/week ✅ ✅✅ 🔲 🔲 🔲 🔲 Meditation Ass on meditation pillow - 7x/week ✅✅ ✅ 🔲 🔲 🔲 🔲 Bodhrán meditation 3x/week 🔲 🔲 🔲 Strength Bench 3x3 55% 3x8 70% HIT 15 mins Life Stuffs Liam is officially a doc! Thanks to all the nerds here who blew him up yesterday, he felt so supported and engaged in the presentation. He can't drop a copy of the dissertation here but he's checking if his publisher will let him share the slides. Hungover as heck after all the focus yesterday. We grabbed a midday diner breakfast on the way home and both of us were crashing before we finished our food. Very glad we're doing his grad party on Saturday instead of trying to cram it all into one day. I maaaaay have received 22 lbs of beads in the mail yesterday. Maybe. I've already made a few pieces with the new swag, I'll try and post pics tomorrow. We've recently dubbed Wednesdays as Rotisserie chicken day. It's pretty fantastic to bring home hot dinner for $6 and no one has to cook. Having vision problems today from stress-related neck tension and postural stress adjusting to the CPAP. Taking Motrin and using a heating pad while my period cramps tension headache calms down.

Thanks, Laghail! I sure do!! ❤️ Thanks, Mistr. Yes, everything working and not wearing out would be nice. We aren’t traveling for fun lately, but things like Houseguest showing up and Dave needing to travel for work are cramping our style. I am definitely not buying stuff, but we ate out a lot the past few weeks and that always adds up so quickly. I am sorry that Elf and Cleo are both unemployed right now, that is so tough. Right? Feels like a victory to me! Hi Friends! I remembered to put the garbage on the curb yesterday in my fit of Adulting and got to listen as it got picked up a moment ago. Victory! I had a very productive and affirming day yesterday. Appointment went very well, errands were completed with no overspend on things I didn’t need, housework was accomplished (even more than I had originally intended to do! I can now see the floor in the laundry room!), and then I spent the late afternoon and evening trying to work with World Anvil to get my gaming stuff sorted out. That was slow going and honestly a bit frustrating at times, but I started to make more progress when I moved off my tablet and went up to the desktop in my office. The format on each machine is slightly different and the desktop is a bit easier for me to navigate. Having a mouse also helps. I don’t use a mouse with my iPad, just a keyboard. Right now I see getting the world into World Anvil as a massive uphill task, but I think it will be good for me if I can commit to getting it done. I ate like a goblin yesterday. No wheat, but lots of peanut butter and Nutella, a little bit of chips, no real protein to speak of. I did make some rice and roasted some sweet potato for supper and ate it with some mango and ginger Stilton and some baby cucumbers. Delicious components, slightly weird all together. But it could have been worse, so I will take the win such as it is and move on. Today is a new day and I can do different things with it. My card today was Six of Intelligence from the D&D deck. Intelligence is Swords in the D&D deck, and wow, does it feel like I am pulling Swords a lot lately. Building on the perspective shift and pause of yesterday’s Hanged Man, Six of Intelligence is all about freeing yourself from burdens and old ways of thinking. I feel like I am pretty unburdened but I think I might be too close to the trees to see the forest? I am not sure what I need to be thinking about here. Many of my usual trains of thought (health and fitness, creativity, game, relationships, etc.) all feel pretty well understood. But it’s hard to know what you don’t know. 😅 I think I am going to take a quick bath before work. I hope that you have a brilliant day full of clarity and insight and tasty, crunchy snacks. Thanks for being here. ❤️

Not according to the scale 😭 Also, I am coming down with the cold my boys caught last week. Boo. It doesn't seem to be a particularly nasty strain, but being sick is never fun. And public safety protocols probably call for me to abstain from swimming this week. Double boo. On a more positive note: I have known for some time that my gym offers unspecified prizes for reaching certain mile markers in swimming. I didn't bother to register at first because my swim distances were so small that the lowest level prize for 50 miles would have taken me years to earn. However, my swim distance (and frequency) has increased so much that I decided to go ahead and register. Here is where my BuJo practice paid off in spades. I have my swim distances written down for the year thus far, so I can record 8ish miles already!

Hey, Sov, finally making time to catch up. Sorry you have to deal with a very long and unexpected guest and that it is interfering with your reintegration time with Dave. I commend you for handling it as graciously as you are. I do think you and Dave ought to have a conversation in the future regarding ground rules for houseguests in general and this one in particular. Being blindsided by this visit is totally unfair to both of you, and obviously any real processing and rule-making will have to wait a while, so this time around really does seem like it's a "grit your teeth and make the best of it" situation. But in the future, having boundaries that you both agree on and are willing to help each other enforce can hopefully help avoid unpleasantness in other visits. To that end, it is all well and good for Dave to be laid back about things, but if I could distill Partnership 101 into a single sentence, I think it would be this: "If it's a problem for your partner, it's a problem for you." That could mean finding fixes for the problem, it could mean helping you brainstorm coping mechanisms to use when guests are present, the important part is that it means acknowledging that there is a problem and that it needs to be addressed. (Sorry, went on a little tangent there, my brother is also a very laid-back person and it annoys me when I see him ignoring things that irritate his wife because they don't bother him.) As others have said, you have been more than gracious to your guest (and to Dave, in recognizing that this is an important person to him). Make sure to be gracious to yourself as well.

I like art groups, they help me move forward when I get into devision overwhelm. Plus, it's fun to see how others interpret the prompts and what materials/styles they use. I started with Inktober52 last year and have tried out several new ones this year. I may have just joined another one, Landscape Art Club. I am starting to collect art clubs like plants 😂 It's for indoor gardening in poor weather (like today). Thank you very much! I am thinking those are the best match to go in my garden, too. The clematis would echo the colors in my Japanese maple nicely without being too on the nose. And peachy-pinks go with everything. It was a windy, rainy day, so I mostly stayed indoors. I did GMB Elements workout 3 of 7 in the garage gym. Swim 3 of 7 is scheduled for tomorrow. Strictly speaking, it was supposed to be swim yesterday and GMB tomorrow, but I decided to rearrange things for more convenience as I have to take my kids to Survival Camp quite near the gym tomorrow (and wait 3 hours to pick them up) it made more sense to just swim that day and save on gas and running around. I made an effort to try roasted (or rather, air-fried) cauliflower at lunch. It was okay but nothing to write home about. Diet is still very messy right now, but at least all the Easter cakes are finally gone.

....because giving you fair warning would completely ruin the surpise because you can't be trusted not to tell Dave? I agree with everyone else, you are being gracious and patient, and you deserve a ton of credit for adjusting to what undoubtedly was an unwelcome surprise to you as well. A suggestion if I may? While the surprise visitor is visiting, take them aside for a private conversation. Explain patiently and politely about the surprise plan you had made for Dave, that you had to cancel on short notice. Then explain how you would really have appreciated being made aware that the visit was coming, so you could participate in surprising Dave, rather be turned into a spectator for something that's happening in your home, and may cost you money. In my world it goes without saying that an unexpected guest stays for a week or longer, and their stay causes an increase in household expenses, the guest contributes, and if they're not willing to do that, they can stay elsewhere. I acknowledge that's not everyone's world, but to me it simply seems like the decent thing to do.

Jessica Fostekew is a weightlifting slayer with an axe to grind re: body fascism. Written up in the Guardian recently under the title, "the joy of pecs", the queer comic takes a swing at our hellscape expectations of bodies, and she manages to bring a fair degree of rage into her humor. A brilliant woman with a background in the London School of Economics, her comedic persona launches into tongue tied stuttering truth blurts as she walks through her own life and growth. Not a woman to be taken lightly. Fostekew's 2019 13:12 set at the Apollo Her 2023 1:14:45 full special, "Wench". Long, well worth it. A 2:57 clip from Fostekew's 2022 special, "Hench" [No AI images today, every attempt made me sad lol] Slayer Training Lore Reading in bed by 11pm - 5x/week 🔲🔲🔲🔲🔲 Duolingo streak by noon - 7x/week 🔲🔲🔲🔲🔲🔲🔲 Meditation Ass on meditation pillow - 7x/week 🔲🔲🔲🔲🔲🔲🔲 Bodhrán meditation 3x/week 🔲🔲🔲 Strength Sunday was a rest day. Life Stuffs Sick and taking the rest of the day. Burned the candle a bit on both ends and caught a sinus infection thingy. Worth it, but now I'm paying the price. Celebration for the new PhD went well on Saturday and was surprisingly affordable. Liam's friends fought over who got to pay for him, so my purse strings stayed tied for the whole day. Highlight: the bar named "At Random." I hate bars, I love this bar. It primarily serves boozy ice cream drinks, and the interior is softly lit in red, with slow jazz playing throughout. Perfect environment for us anxiety enjoyers. Highlight: a very stoned shop proprietor at a queer-themed gift shop insisted the whole party pose for a marketing promo photo. Highlight: the used bookstore had a surfeit of secondhand small prints, including my favorite Spitzweg, "the Bookworm." Tomorrow I level up! Level 38 is looking excellent, I'll let you know how it feels once that ding hits at midnight.

Please do not ask me to resist that right after a Pratchett quote. Here you go, as requested.

Nerd time! Most online calculators use the Mifflin-St. Jeor equation to calculate your BMR, which is based on your total body mass. Plugging in your numbers, that gives me a BMR of 1952. I am assuming that your InBody scan is using the Katch-McArdle equation, which is based on your lean body mass. (There's also the Harris-Benedict equation, but that's an old one that's mostly been replaced by the Mifflin-St. Jeor.) There's a lot of debate over which formula is more accurate. At the end of the day, they're all estimates. Your BMR is just the calories burned to maintain bare minimum essential bodily functions. It does not consider activity at all. For your stats, I get these numbers for activity levels: Sedentary: 400 calories Light Activity: 700 calories Moderate Activtiy: 1,000 calories Heavy Activity: 1,400 calories Very Heavy Activity: 1,700 calories So your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE) is your BMR plus whichever activity level fits your lifestyle. Just for an example, we'll go with Light Activity, giving us a range of 2,051-2,352 depending on which BMR calculator you use. One pound of fat equals 3,500 calories. So to lose 1 pound/week, you need to be in a 3,500 calorie deficit, which averages out to a 500 calorie deficit per day. That means, to lose 1 pound of fat per week, your estimated caloric intake is 1,551-1,852. Depending on what your current caloric intake is, I would pick a number in that range that feels easily doable, try it for a while and adjust from there. Since all these numbers are estimates, they make good starting points but will probably require tweaking. If 1,852 sounds daunting, you could always go with a 250 calorie deficit (1,801-2,102) and shoot for a 0.5 pound weight loss per week. Also, instead of picking a number and shooting for it, you could just stick with the range if it feels more helpful to have some flexibility rather than nailing down an exact number you're trying to hit.

Stamina (emotional energy) I use the pomodoro method at work, which means I set a timer and work for 25 minutes, take a break for 5 minutes, and cycle through that four times. The fourth break is 15 minutes, and after that break the cycle starts again. I spent my breaks today coloring the painting "Rumours", by José Gallegos y Arnosa, in the color-book app on my phone. According to Wikipedia, the original looks like this:

Monday Update! Which, now that I'm posting on Mondays, makes me feel like I need to post this in honor of absent friends. Ok, on to the update! Monday: Had a quick drink with a friend after work for social points. Tuesday: Got up without snoozing for a Light point, took my mother to her doctor's appointment for Bless points (the Blessing was really for my father, to save him a trip he really didn't want to make) and did a workout, dealing 7 damage to the Dread Warrior. Wednesday: Met with my Parish Discernment Committee for Ceremony points. Thursday: Had class for Borrowed Knowledge points. Friday: Up on time for Light, went to Stations of the Cross for Ceremony, did some guitar practice for Toll the Dead (Dread Warrior made its save) Saturday: Did a workout (Deadlifted my bodyweight for 2 reps for a PR!) for 5 damage to the Dread Warrior, baked bread for Lesser Restoration. Sunday: Made my Gentle Repose save. Also made a very tasty dinner without consulting any recipes, which made me feel like a very accomplished chef. So that wraps up Zero Week with 133 points. Not bad, though I didn't do cardio or Morning Prayer. I don't take any damage in Zero Week, but I'll have to do better this week. Monday: Cardio Tuesday: Lift Wednesday: Neighbor Thursday: Dinner with sister Friday: Cardio, Good Friday service Saturday: Lift, Easter Vigil Sunday: Easter Spells prepped: Bless* - neighbor on Wednesday Cure Wounds* - stretching Create or Destroy Water - hydration Sanctuary - barndominium Ceremony - church stuff Spiritual Weapon* - Bible memorization Lesser Restoration* - baking Locate Object - cleaning Borrowed Knowledge - class reading Gentle Repose - sleep hygiene I don't like tracking stuff, so for my hydration goal, I'm just aiming to drink a glass of water before I have coffee in the morning. If I do, DC goes down by one, if I don't, it goes up. At the end of the week, I make a Constitution save to see if I get points.

Non-scale victory: My jellyfish shirt fits again!!

I take everything back. Start shit with this partner. I'm joking. Mostly. But the complete lack of effort too meet you halfway is not okay when something bothers you this much, and I completely understand that you're feeling alone. Feeling like you're not being supported in your own home is difficult and can become painful over time. If I may suggest... add this to the list of things to talk about when the visit is over, when you discuss ground rules for visitors. Because looking into this situation from the outside, Dave's behavior is advertising to observing outsiders that his guest is more important to him than his wife is, and that should never be the case. The two of you are a team, and one of the most fundamental aspects of being team mates is that everyone does their part. Edit to clarify: I'm trying to strike a balance between supporting you and validating your feelings, while also trying to avoid attacking or vilifying Dave. If I missed, please let me know so I can adjust for future posts. That is perfectly fine. Feeling graceful or positive is not required, or expected. Ouch. If I may suggest.... when a battle cannot be win, the next best option is to retreat. In your situation, that will most likely mean leaving the house as much as you can. Go to work early and leave late. Leave again as soon as you get back and set up a space for yourself in a library or park, or any other outside place that will accommodate your need for solitude. I your house guest and your partner are not going to lift a finger to make this experience easier for you, then your priority needs to be to do whatever it takes to care for your own mental health until this visit is over. If "whatever it takes" means they never get to see you during the day, or they eat nothing but rice and beans for the next three weeks, than that's a problem for them to solve, not for you. You are doing your best to take care of yourself, because someone needs to and it doesn't sound like they're even realizing it's needed. Yeah, that's where my brain went too... Mine actually took it a step further and suggested composting outside own backyard, for easier concealment, and to plant an endangered species on the compost site to discourage impulsive digging in that spot as well. I'm going to go back to reading murder mysteries now. 😇

I felt a lot better yesterday afternoon, and I may have pushed too hard. I did some Beat Saber after work (I was missing it) and then Nic dropped by and we hung out on the rooftop terrace to watch the sun set. By then he was hungry, and I was still feeling pretty good, and so I said yes when he invited me to go to a diner and check it out. It was very basic but great, and the decor and funrnings haven't been updated since the place was built in the 50s. We hit the hot tub after dinner, and I slept like a baby almost immediately on being dropped back home. I woke up around 3 with a massive headache and bedspins, and it all just went downhill from there. I leveled out around 7, made tea, and cleaned up from several rounds of being sick, grateful once again that I work from home. I am still in my nightgown, and I look like death warmed over, but none of that matters. I truly want nothing more than to curl up under the covers and have someone tell me stories. I made a video reply post for class before logging in, which is hilarious since I look as sick as I feel, but I've put off the requistie video posts (because I hate them), so here we are. There are a lot of Very Important Meetings at work today, so I've shown up mostly to attend and offer what's needed from me. Other than that, I'm sort of useless, which is perfectly fine. More tea is the only answer.

April 1st Check In 3 lbs down! Haven't been as strict on the workouts as I wanted to be but my eating has been mostly on track. It's amazing how good setting a date for my wedding has been for motivation, as has dress shopping. But I can't take full credit - the commencement of shark week has probably done the lions share of the work this week. I bloat so much a week or so beforehand.

Alright, weekend recap. First things first from Friday: Weekly weigh-in Weight: 94.15 kg (-0.5) Body fat: 21.9 % (-0.6) Despite not really doing anything special in zero week, I'm down half a kilo (over 1 pound). The weekend saw a pretty high calorie intake (despite the quantities being reasonable), so I'm not sure how this will look next Friday. Friday was the day of the E3 Saxo Classic cycling race here in Harelbeke. That meant that the kids had a day off (because the entire city is pretty much locked down for the race in the afternoon). So the Mrs. Movieman and me also took the day off. The kids wanted to be at the team presentation and the start of the race in the morning, so we went on foot. It was very crowded and we had to relocate a couple of times to find spots where the kids actually saw anything of the stage. After the start of the race, we went for fries - hence the high calorie intake - and then spent the afternoon watching the race on TV. At about 12 km from the finish, TimovieSon and me left to go watch the race live. There's a street corner at about 400 meters from our house where we can see the cyclist coming from hundreds of meters away, and they have to take a left turn right in front of us, so they have to slow down. It's a good spot for watching the race. It's also at less than 2 km from the finish, so I had to stream on my phone to know who actually won. We watched a movie in the evening - Christopher Robin (2018). Mrs. Movieman hadn't seen it yet, but the kids and me had. I'm a bit puzzled as to why the kids wanted to see it again because they only thought it was mediocre when they first saw it - and that was actually better than my view on it. I think it's a needlessly bleak and dreary film that's plain boring, takes forever to go anywhere, and I'm constantly taken out of it by the atrocious look of the animals who look nothing like their cartoon / book counterparts. I do like this Ewan McGregor Star Wars mash-up, though: Saturday morning had football matches for TimovieSon and TimovieDaughter. TimovieSon's team won a close match (5-3) and TimovieDaughter's team drew 7-7 which felt like a correct result given the match. We went shopping immediately afterwards, to get it out of the way and to be able to enjoy a quiet afternoon. TimovieSon and me watched the international friendly Ireland - Belgium, which was a 90-minute borefest, and we watched the final episode of a local TV programme that the kids enjoy. With crisps. Sunday we all got to sleep in a little, and in the afternoon watched the Ghent-Wevelgem cycling race. The general lack of activity this weekend meant that the kids were rather bratty in the afternoon. But they recovered in time for the first episode of "The Mole" which is a yearly TV programme here. Crisps were involved again. So today is the start of the spring respawn. And also the day that I'm *finally* going to see Dune Part II at the cinema. This evening, together with my dad. TimovieSon doesn't have any football practice this evening so this worked out best... Here's one of the contenders for "highest new entry" on my Top list (together with Lord of the Lost's Loreley, Michael Kiwanuka's Cold Little Heart and Audioslave's Be Yourself). I *think* I got to know them through sheer luck of the YouTube algorithm. But I immediately recognized this as a fantastic song, and the video is brilliant as well. It's the Finnish group "Poets of the Fall" with "Carnival of Rust". Poets of the Fall - Carnival of Rust