Heidi

DANGIT!! How? How did so much happen in the last few weeks that I thought the challenge was closed and Reflection Week was nearly over? Okay, Universe, I hear you!!!! Anyway, steady is the course for the next ten days as we do the rest of the work that is in front of us. ❤️

Nic helped me put together one of the red bookcases on Sunday evening, and that means that now only have seven items left to assemble. I'd like to have these done over the next couple weeks. I also have a few furniture pieces that have no home, and probably need to get given away. I'd like to play with the arrangement of things once everything is assembled and see if these pieces are useful or need to find a new home. I miss having an herb garden. Just in general, I love having herbs around, but specifically lemon balm (for heat relief) and basil (becuase basil). I have some window box planters that are empty and I think I might set up some herbs in them and place them near the dining table or at the back of the kitchen counter between the sink and the living room space. Happy full moon! It's officially the end of eclipse season! What has been revealed to you or culminated into fruition since March 25th? I can't believe that was only a few weeks ago; it seems like ancient history. I like to go to a favorite farm and pick strawberries at the end of April / beginning of May as a way to put the semester behind me and welcome in summer, and I invited Nic to come with me on Saturday to pick strawberries. I'll likely need to have the afternoon and evening to work on the novel and the legislation spreadsheet, but I'm looking forward to having a whole mess of local strawberries. I wrote another 750 words yesterday on the novel (total is now 11,900; goal is 90,000). Keep watching for word counts, since this is a big project that needs to come into the world. I have an agent at Folio who asked for a full manuscript, and I'd like to deliver it in August or so, definitely by the end of Challenge 6 (September 1). The beginning work of writing always seems impressive (look, another thousand words!!), but that's because it is like starting a campaign with a first level character. Going from level 1 to 2 is a lot different than leveling up from 11 to 12. I had given up on acupuncture, with the Other Acupuncturists not really fitting my needs after My Acupuncturist retired. When I met with my Jedi Council (Quaker small group) yesterday, one of them mentioned a new-to-town acupuncturist that he really likes, so I made an appointment for next week. Fingers crossed. I fell asleep at 8:30 last night and slept until 6. I woke up with a headache (weather changes -- it's downright cold this morning) and read some news before logging in. The president of my university is floating a proposal to absorb the faculty-driven senate into a trustee-driven body, effectively stripping the faculty of any policy voice in what seems to be an obvious power grab. I wrote to my advisor and asked for some time to discuss this next week, since it seems unthinkable to me, and yet it is likely to pass. Academia is broken, and it seems to be crumbling in real time around me. I am very much looking forward to completing my degree. I don't know if I'll continue with the library degree afterwards, though since it's essentially a vocational degree, it seems to be a program that fits well in the new-Academia™ model. The current timeline looks like Qualifying Exam in the summer of 2025, then dissertation the year after, PhD awarded in May 2026. I imagine the academic landscape will look measurably different by then. The weather has mee sleepy and wanting to hunker down under blankets, despite the good rest of last night. I have a much-needed massage later this morning, otherwise I would still be in my flannel nightgown. Chances are good that I'll come home from the appointment and take a shower and be right back into the nightgown-with-tea mode, and I'm looking forward to it.

WOOHOO!

Thank you. I'm thinking that we need to watch all of Drumhead and have a conversation about it. It's an excellent episode, and dense with ideals. And timely.

Hi, friend. I'm getting squirrely about the debts and taxes and things. I've decided to throw some leads out to the Universe to see if there's a part-time remote job that I can work along with the regular job over summer. There will not be any non-remote work in my life, but perhaps the universe can help me find something that will slay the debt-dragon a bit. I'm doing okay, actually, but the debt-load is starting to wreck my sleep, which makes everything worse.

Thinking about what worked this challenge, and thinking about what's coming for the next round, starting on Sunday (or more likely Monday, becuase that's when I usually start). Here's a bit of whiteboard space (spoilered because it's a lot of moving parts). Skill 24.03 2024.04 Focus Activity May 6th - June 9th, 2024 Reflection Week Jun10-16 Constitution 12 Carry forward: Walking: 2+ miles a day New goal: WATER (drink it; log it) Stretch goal: Sauna? Look for a walk to the Farmer’s Market on Thursdays, daily walks on purpose, and overall increase to activities that happen to involve walking. I’d like to be more mindful and intentional about drinking water and eating salads. Getting back to the sauna would likely do wonders for my sleep and my sense of presence. Strength 15 Carry Forward: Going to work Stretch goal: Second job? New Goal: Lift - anything that weighs more than a loaf of bread If I can find something to add to the cash generation, it’ll go directly to the debts. I’m doing just fine, of course, but I’ve noticed that the debt tally is taking a toll on my sleep, so if I can find a remote temp job for a few hours a day over the summer while I don’t have classes, this would be some Wisdom as well as some strength. I’m hesitant to increase this to 16 while I still have the debt-millstone around my neck. Intelligence 16 Carry Forward: Philosopher James 2x/week New Goal: Work on the novel. 1,000 words a day. Stretch goal: One Sheets and Fliers for upcoming Philosophy Sessions. I still have a massive Legislation Spreadsheet to finish on Sunday (stay tuned!) and a final paper (also Sunday) and final post (Wednesday) this week for Research Class, with some interviews along the week to use for the paper. Philosophy with James is going well, and we've stayed the course even as real life has tried to play cat-and-mouse with the schedule. This is good; this is the Way. I'm always hesitant to increase beyond 16, but there's some real proficiency being wrought. Dexterity 18 Emotional Balance and Mental health Schedules & Calendars Marching Band Camp Summer Visitation Football Calendar Counseling sessions Wisdom 18 Stretch Goal: Spending Fast Continue forward: Aggressive Car Loan payments New Goal: Sort out the taxes mess Pay off the car aggressively -- 2 extra payments Charisma 16 Alliances Continue: Time with Nic, Emily, Erica, (Kathi & Tim ?) New Goal: Women's Pinball League Summer (June 10-August 5) New Goal: Star Trek & Philosophy Sessions May 17, June 14 Continue: Home-making: Assemble furniture, Finish Vivian's Room SOPHIA Roanoke Make the Star Trek flier Make the SOPHIA Roanoke web page Choose the calendar for the coming session; schedule the Parrot Room for June 14, July 19, August 23. Consider writing a grant proposal for the Rice Room at the Jefferson Center and running the sessions. [If we move to the Jefferson Center, make it Philosophy Fridays at Four. Serve Tea. Consider an informal dinner location after the event.) Belles & Chimes Post Calendar on website Finalize Summer League Dates with IFPA? Maybe not necessary Website Login Spreadsheet for scores Out & Abouting Shakespeare Community Concert Coffee House Mornings Farmer’s Market Pick your own strawberries (Saturday! 🍓 🍓 ) Stamina 7 Continue: Rest, Healing New goal: Resume Acupuncture Stretch Goal: yoga? Good sleep schedule, once again Yoga on Friday morning? A friend recommended a new-to-town acupuncturist, and I made an appointment for next week. Fingers crossed that it’s a good solution.

Thank you for this! ❤️ Welcome to Refletion Week, Friends! Let's see how the challenge went, overall: For starters, I put this challenge in boldface on my list, suspecting that it would hold a lot of foundational changes and shifts, and I wasn't wrong. Wellness and Alliances have been in focus all year, and this round really delivered. I feel like the changes are the manifestation of hard work and internal processes that have been slowly building over time, sort of like watching the hour hand move on the clock and hearing the bells chime out across the Land. Rest assured, there's plent of work, as there ever is. but this feels like a new vantage point. The details: Skill 24.02 2024 Focus Activity How it went 24.03 Constitution 12 Walking: 2+ miles a day Cooking of some sort so that Saturday and Sunday don’t require any activity if possible. Walking was really excellent this round. I had nine days total with fewer than 2 miles, and overall the average was impressive: 2.63 miles a day. I took on more walking-on-purpose, and have included some walking-togetherness, which boosted my total dramatically and also increased my sense of connectedness and belonging. I'm not looking to increase my constitution just yet, but it's better than ever. If this level of wellness reamins over the next several challenges, I'll be leveling up for certain. Some notable Constitution highlights: Despite getting sice, I recovred well and was able to meet my daily tasks while in recovery mode. I think this bodes well. 12 Strength 14 Going to work Lift - Oculus or gym or boxes or anything that weighs more than a loaf of bread Oculus and Catan and things. I lifted basic things, and did well with unpacking the last of the book boxes and all but one of Vivian's boxes. Bookcases were built and moved and filled. I went to work. +1 15 Intelligence 16 Finish this term well. Philosopher James 2x/week Schedule Qualifying exams with Neal. I still have a Massive Legislation Spreadsheet to finish on Sunday (stay tuned!) and a final paper and final post this week for Research Class, with some interviews along the week to use for the paper. Philosophy with James is going well, and we've stayed the course even as real life has tried to play cat-and-mouse with the schedule. This is good; this is the Way. I'm always hesitant to increase beyond 16, but there's some real proficiency being wrought. 16 Dexterity 18 Emotional Balance and Mental health Create the Cave in the bedroom Begin family counseling sessions with Vivian. O YEAH. Five stars. 18 Wisdom 18 Debt reduction Aggressive Car Loan and Personal Loan payments Savings File Taxes Debt reduction is happening and there has been some fancy footwork needed with tax weirdness. This will continue into next challenge, and I handled it better than I thought I would, since this is a rael beast for me, emotionally. 18 Charisma 16 Alliances Time with Nic, Emily, Erica, Kathi & Tim Dancing lessons and pinball Home-making Continue world-building our home. Very positive alliances. Erica in the Loft, Emily in the Loft, Kathi in Durham, Nic in the Loft and about town. No dancing lessons, but Eclipse Viewing, Community Concert, and Symphony concert. Worldbuilding the home and community is happening, and women's pinball league is scheduled, as is the launch of Sophia Roanoke's Philosophy and Star Trek. 16 Stamina 6 Rest, Healing Oculus Cardio Rest and healing and love, o my. I'm increasing the stamina to 7, mostly because of the gains made through walking and functional fitness listed above. +1 7

Agreed. One of the reasons this series has taken so long to launch is because I don’t have clips for everything yet, and it always feels like I don’t have enough pieces-and-parts together to make it work.

Vivian had a sore throat when she woke up this morning and her voice was gone. A day of tea and television and rest and plenty of good food did wonders, and she was feeling much better by the time the sun went down. We are currently watching something called My Hero Academia, an animated series based on a Manga of the same name, and I’m digging it more than I thought I would. I took a nap while she took a nap around noon, and now, weirdly, I can’t sleep. There are also a million things on my mind, which never helps, but I feel like it’s a case of basic insomnia calling forth the issues instead of the other way around. I bought tickets for a classical guitar concert tomorrow afternoon, and invited Nic as well, so the three of us will walk to the concert center down the block and have an afternoon of music before Vivian goes home. There’s a huge music festival this weekend that I had totally forgotten about, something called “Down By Downtown,” and apparently it’s the hippest thing since Woodstock (not really, but it’s being touted as such) and the whole of downtown is in a huge crush. I’m very glad we’re doing classical music and that we can walk to the concert hall. All in all it looks like it will be a lovely day. I have a lot of thoughts on things, none of which are probably as big and important as they feel right now, which is another layer of thought that gets thrown over the whole mess. I’m not sure if or when or how I’ll get to sleep tonight. On nights like this, it usually happens when I’m not looking, so I guess this calls for getting up and making a pot of tea and possibly reading some more of Fahrenheit 451. I’m about halfway through, and it’s getting really interesting.

I have nine other Star Trek sessions planned: Resistance is not futile In this clip, We see the solidarity of self-determination from within the collective, compassion for an outsider, and defiance of authority (in the form of the chillingly assimilated Picard, who has difficulty with the pronoun I). Also, the choice of "Hugh" is excellent. We are Hugh becomes heard as We are you. https://youtu.be/sRc8EyPoxOU Seminar topic: even if resistance comes to nothing immediately, is it futile? Is resistance its own valuable act? What solidarity do we owe to those who are disadvantaged/oppressed even if we are not? How do we measure resistance? [Bonus points for answering R = V / I.] There Are FOUR lights In this episode, Picard admits that in the end, torture prevailed. He would have been willing to say anything, but, even worse, he had come to see five lights, despite knowing the truth that there were only four. Oppression warps reality and our own ability to perceive the truth. It is the presence of the rescue team that allows him to issue the iconic line. https://youtu.be/jk3EsXgXcyQ What is being offered to Picard is particularly appealing to me: a life of comfort, with time to pursue philosophy. This offer -- and the ability to withhold it-- is what corrupts the lizard brain to comply with the oppressor. While survival may, in fact, be insufficient, it must also be safeguarded at all costs. What does this mean for the creation of a just society? Survival is Insufficient What does it mean to be alive? To thrive? To be free? To be an individual? How does a community differ from a collective? (How) Is the idea of free will important to ethics? https://youtu.be/iFAaLCbRUJw The Needs of the Many Outweigh the Needs of the Few Do the needs of the many always outweigh the needs of the few? Spock’s famous words after sacrificing himself to save the Enterprise in The Wrath of Khan are the heart of perhaps the biggest tear-jerker in Star Trek history. But after dabbing your eyes, you might notice it’s a sentiment that invites a major ethical dilemma: is it really logical for an individual to be sacrificed for others? John Stuart Mill and Immanuel Kant would answer this question with a resounding yes given their philosophical model of utilitarianism. This, at its most basic level, supposes that people should be working towards the good of the many—each action should be prefaced with one question: “what if everybody did that?” At first, it may sound like a caring model to live by — if any member of The Enterprise crew were willing to die to save everyone then you have a pretty strong crew. However, at its most extreme, utilitarianism could be deeply inhuman. For instance, philosopher Hannah Arendt warned that solely working towards the greater good would lead to a mechanized society where the needs of the individual were completely sacrificed for society. And, of course, such a society exists in Star Trek: The Borg. The scariest of Star Trek baddies are a race of mechanized humanoids that demand individuals give up any personal property, emotions and memories for the benefit of the collective — if one person joins then they help all enjoy immortality and technological advancement. In other words, the needs of the many outweigh the few. So, why shouldn’t we all pack up and join The Borg if it's for the good of everybody? Is resistance to that logic really futile? Are there times when people should be separate from the many? Plato, Sartre, and Guardians of the Galaxy Sartrean angst arises from the weight of responsibility for our choices, a sense of abandonment due to the revelation that God does not necessarily exist and therefore cannot guide, and a sense of despair in that we must act without hope in external intervention by providence. The positive aspect is that man’s destiny is in his own hands. The entire Voyager series is founded on a sense of Sartrean angst. The starship Voyager is almost instantaneously displaced 70,000 light-years away from Earth by alien technology, and the return journey would require at least 75 years by Voyager’s conventional warp drive. Captain Janeway has two options: to investigate and utilize the exotic transportation device and return the ship back to Earth. But this would leave the device in the hands of another set of unscrupulous aliens who would destroy a third set of innocent aliens; or to destroy the device as per Kantian Categorical Imperative and condemn her 200 crew to attempt the long journey back to Earth. Janeway acts as a Platonic guardian, seizes the second option (Star Trek Voyager, “Caretaker”), and spends the rest of the series in angst, wondering whether she made the right choice. Categorical Imperatives and the Prime Directive Is The Prime Directive really ethical? Also known as the Non-Interference Directive, The Prime Directive commands Starfleet ships to follow one golden rule: don’t interfere with other cultures or civilisations. And all captains are supposed to take this VERY seriously — as Kirk says in The Original Series, "A starship captain's most solemn oath is that he will give his life, even his entire crew, rather than violate the Prime Directive." But is such a rigid policy really in the universe’s best interests? If Starfleet has the power to save civilisations — and countless lives — from extinction, shouldn’t it try? Wouldn’t standing by as innocents die make Starfleet a tad, well, evil? Not according to the concept of Westphalian sovereignty, a key political paradigm embodied by Starfleet. Born out of the Peace of Westphalia treaties of 1648, this paradigm not only established modern thinking on nation states and boundaries, but also that intervening across borders would only cause conflict. Such thinking is clearly laid out by Captain Jean-Luc Picard in The Next Generation: "The Prime Directive is not just a set of rules; it is a philosophy... and a very correct one. History has proven again and again that whenever mankind interferes with a less developed civilisation, no matter how well intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous." At its inception, this philosophy appeared to have led to peace: the Westphalia treaty halted 80 years of war in Europe. But, as you might have noticed from a couple of near-apocalyptic world wars since then, such a simple idea rarely leads to peace in our intricate universe. And as with every strategy that walks the line between war and peace, the thinking behind the Prime Directive provokes a lot of debate. After all, taken to its extreme, the Directive is a barely-compromising non-interventionist policy, a stance never going to please everyone in every circumstance. Would non-action be the right line to face when threatened by Nazi Germany? Iraq? North Korea? Syria? Or, to take a less politically-charged example, if a wildlife filmmaker comes across a dying zebra, do they have a moral obligation to help it? Would they be responsible for its death by walking away? And what if aiding the animal inadvertently starves a pride of lions that would otherwise have fed on the carcass? Star Trek has handled such sticky non-interventionist predicaments head-on during the show, often with heart-breaking consequences. For instance, in The New Generation episode Pen Pals, android Lt Commander Data receives messages from a little girl whose planet will soon be destroyed by volcanic eruptions. Captain Picard’s response? The Prime Directive must stand. The child must die. Fortunately, Picard reverses his decision in time for Data to save the girl, but at the cost of the Prime Directive. Is it right that he sacrificed this Star Fleet value to save one child? Like most philosophers, the crew are divided. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xefh7W1nVo4 This issue gets more complicated if you consider the spirit in which the show’s United Federation of Planets (UFP) was first formed. In the show, the Vulcans reached out to our planet when they realised humans (specifically one of them, Zefram Cochrane) had invented the warp drive. And after the first contact, The Vulcans shared their technological knowledge, thus helping Earth to rise from its post-atomic horror to become a founding member of the UFP. Yet, if Starfleet was in the same position as the Vulcans, would they have landed on Earth and lent a hand? Would The Prime Directive have saved Earth — a future cornerstone of the UFP — from destruction? Utopia, Villains, and Vigilance The Federation is described as a stabilizing force in “this part of the galaxy [...]. We live in peace with full exercise of individual rights. The need to resort to violence and force has long since passed.” (“Let That Be Your Last Battlefield) As such, the UFP consistently espouses liberty, equality, justice, peace, and universal cooperation as summarized by Picard, “With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably. [...] The first time any man’s freedom is trodden on, we’re all damaged.” This episode sees the weaponization of “good aims” and Whorf is duped. Picard reminds him that “"Villains who twirl their mustaches are easily spotted. Those who clothe themselves in good deeds are well-camouflaged."(Star Trek Next Generation, “Drumhead”). How do we go about the “vigilance” that Picard recommends to Whorf? How do we best police ourselves and our systems, assuming these systems are the best ones in place? Kobayashi Maru The Kobayashi Maru is an exercise in Starfleet’s training program, designed as a no-win situation that tests ethical decision-making and leadership. During the exercise, a cadet encounters a civilian ship in distress. To save the civilians, the cadet needs to enter the Neutral Zone, violating a treaty. If the cadet honors the treaty, the civilians will be left stranded and at the mercy of the hostile Klingons. If the treaty is broken, the Klingon armies will likely attack and board the ship being commanded by the cadet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScFCIqIiTl8 What would you do faced with the original Kobayashi Maru? What do you think of Kirk’s “success” through cheating? What sorts of ethical decisions are in play as the Kobayashi Maru opens? How do ethical decisions who went before us influence, limit, and shape the (perceived) possibilities of our decisions and leadership today? Do you believe in the existence of no-win situations? (Kirk didn’t.) When faced with a no-win situation, what is the most ethical place from which to proceed? What role does self-interest play in a no-win situation? Is it the only thing that one has any power over at that point? How We Face Death Is At Least As Important as How We Face Life We will gather to watch Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan Khan is a gloomy movie, a pivot from the unadulterated optimism of the first Star Trek film. But for all its gloominess, Khan is an important film that gives voice to the role of death and grief in our lives and how both inform and deepen us, giving us perspective. With perspective, our approach to life becomes more textured and nuanced, less glossy, anything but rote. These are the necessary conditions for a life of meaning, and yet they are the emotions and situations which we most often avoid. What does Kirk learn in this film? Is he changed by the experience? How so, if so? Has Kirk in Trek 2 changed from who he was when he faced the Kobayashi Maru? Why (not)? How? What are the key traits that make Kirk Kirk, and how does he approach his own Web of Belief when it encounters new information? Quine &Ullian present an obligation for iterative testing and re-formation of our systems of belief. Does Kirk display this? Always/sometimes/never? What is gained / lost for Kirk as a person? Still in development, but very much part of my interests, I’d like to have a Philosophy of the City series, where we meet to discuss what it means to be a city, and to discuss current initiatives and issues that are right here in our city, and to talk about the philosophical-ethical aspects of those issues.

Not much in the way of distance today, as the Spring Rains have come. Looking forward to some distance this weekend, though, and definitely looking forward to walking down to the Farmer’s Market every Thursday starting in May to pick up my weekly bag of vegetables, bread, fruit, and locally made pantry items (like butter and jams and things).

No walk yet today, since I had so much to do during WorkadayFriday, and this was planned, but also I'm missing the idea of walking across my bridge on one of its last remaining days, so I might go out and walk down to the coffee house in a bit if the rain holds off. I have to meet with the Tax Prep guy this afternoon to gather some additional information for my tax return this year. Everything seems like such a convoluted project, and scary to boot! But no matter, it will get done and then be in the rear view. Speaking of finalizing things, I completed my last Reading Annotations for the term, and this feels good, and then I posted a video discussion about the readings. There's one video discussion left, and one paper left, and BOOM, then we're done. I scheduled the Parrot Meeting Room (in which there are, sadly, no parrots) for mid-May to officially relaunch SOPHIA Roanoke. Our topic will be "Our Duty to the Truth," and will be the first in the Philosophy & Star Trek offerings. It's built around the lecture that Picard gives Wesley. I'm working on a flier for the event, and also have scheduled a workshop of the One Sheet with James. I'll be spending some time retooling what I have to make it more in line with what I want. I'm planning on using the iconic "engage" photo of Picard, with a big, bold Star Trek & Philosophy: Our Duty to the Truth banner at the top (suggestions are welcome and actively solicited!!) I'd like the flier to be about a helf sheet, 5.5x8 or so, large enough to be seen, but small enough to go up on a wall. If anyone wants to workshop the flier with me, give a shout. Once I get it finished, I'll send it to Kinko's to get a few dozen printed and start distributing them around town. BOOM.

I'm here to ask this too! I hope you are enjoying your day with Dave before working tomorrow and that all the fugg from the Doldrums has blown away. Nothing but blue skies ahead, Beautiful Friend. ❤️

Some pictures of the street art on the bridge https://www.heidichronicles.net/2024/04/what-good-bridge-youve-been.html

I've really kicked the distance up another notch by walking to a local independent coffee house in the mornings. You would think this would be enough to close the distance between me and @TimovieMan, but he's been dropping some impressive stats himself (well done!) I've got just under 50 miles left to get to Rauros (about 80 km for you sensible folk), and I'm hoping the weather here continues to be great. I love Virginia in the springtime.

Agree. It is so good to hear you souning more yourself. May the Houseguest go with God and godspeed. Happy Adventuring! ❤️

Thank you, Beautiful Friend. There is so much going on that I feel I can barely keep up, and it's all wonderful. I hope to take pictures of the bridge today or tomorrow. I already have a few long-view shots, but I want some close-ups of the ones that really made it all special, like "Man is good. Capitalism corrupts him." What a beautiful moment to have on my morning walk. I know! I love everything about this -- the bridge party, celebrating a municipal street feature, the unexpected socialism, the sheer joy of one's city. This speaks to everything that makes living in this town lovely, and I'd like to see more of it, anywhere and everywhere. Good morning, Friends! I slept so well last night and for so long that it feels as though today is a bit unreal. After Nic left, I ran a bath, and it was too hot, so I pulled on my nightgown and sat down to read for a few minutes while it cooled and was promptly out like a light until 7:30 this morning, which is fully 90 minutes later than I usually wake up. I'm not fussed. I let the water out of the tub and walked down and made tea. It's a cool spring morning, and I am really enjoying my space -- the Library is exactly what I needed as I logged in, and the tea center in the kitchen functions as though it had been made that way. I'm able to find clothes to wear and contain my to-be-washed laundry in seamless ways as I go about the morning and evening routines. I like all of this. I added my distance to the Walking Spreadsheet and noticed that I've walked more already this month than the total for January or February, and am on pace with March. This is good; this is the Way. The bridge replacement will take two years (and that's the City estimate, so it could of course take longer), so I'm hoping Nic and I find a good replacement plan, becuase walking in the morning as an incidental part of meeting for morning conversation and coffee is becoming a meaningful part of my Sesame-Street Belongingness. I've been thinking about what that means, and how quickly it happened, and how it fills me so completely and in a specific way. I think that there's something important here, and I think it has to do with placemaking and neighborhoods. I'm considering talking with my Philosophy of the City researchers to see if they have some articles on this, since I'm starting to the of neighborhoods as their own distinct "third place," which is both obvious and woowoo at the same time. There's definitely a set of Public Philosophy talks loitering in all this, probably to include interviews with various civic leaders about what this city means to them, and what being a civic leader means to them. There's a band booster meeting tonight, which I'm looking forward to. So much is going on with the spring concerts and parade schedules that I'm having trouble keeping track of which events are when and what time I need to be where. It will be nice to hang with the other band parents and touch base with the schedule of it all. May you have Peace this day, Friends. ❤️

Before I left for Durham, Nic was interested in how my “walking on purpose” challenge goal worked, because he’s also looking to get back into walking but isn’t quite sure any of his old in-roads (mentally, emotionally, and scheduling wise) work for where he is now. I explained a bit about the belongingness piece, and the going-without-arriving approach, and how I had been letting those two factors be the ‘containers’ of my walking habit, not the gym location or clock time or how far I wanted to go or really any of the factors that I used to measure. He thought about that and a few days later proposed that we start walking to an independent coffee shop in the mornings, a place that is a 20 minute easy walk from our respective homes, and also helps him hold his desire to trade getting coffee at the Starbucks drive-through with getting coffee at a neighborhood space and sitting and enjoying it before going to work. I loved everything about this suggestion, as you might suspect, and said yes. We took our first walk yesterday, and it was brilliant, especially because the bridge I walk over is now covered in amazing graffiti — the bridge is coming down for replacement (it’s too far gone for repair), and there was a neighborhood party over the weekend to say goodbye to the bridge. The graffiti is lovely and much of it talks of how much we love the bridge (“you’ve been such a good bridge”) and how much we love Roanoke (“2013-NOW, because I ❤️ it here!!”) and there’s a lot of socialism, too, all of which warms my heart in equal measure. Sadly, the bridge coming down will mean that the walk has to be completely rethought, but Nic says he’s working on that, and I am willing to enjoy the last few days of the walk while he noodles the post-bridge plan. We ended up walking the greenway after getting coffee yesterday, and talking, and then walking back to his house and he drove me to my apartment building. It was a really brilliant time, and I was glad I had the extra time to take. All told, I walked over seven miles yesterday, and I thought I would be sore today, but I wasn’t, and by 10 this morning I was craving the walk again, which was just right. I walked to the coffee house, we drank our brews, and then I walked back to resume work, and all of this is just as it should be. Vivian had early dismissal today, so I spent my lunch hour meeting her at the library near the school, then riding the bus back to downtown, where we ended up having tacos for lunch at a local taqueria near the bus stop. It was really good, and she read me the next installment of her story, which is coming along well. I made a note (just an asterisk in the margin) of a couple places where I think she could expand the back-story (or side-story, or internal-monologue thing), and overall I just enjoyed her sharing her creativity with me, enjoyed sharing a meal, enjoyed walking around and being together. We have a lovely relationship. Today I’ve walked 4 miles so far, and I don’t feel particularly sore or tired, and all of this is Right and Good. This is the Way. @Sovalis pointed out that there is only a week and change left in this challenge, and that brought my Eclipse Reflection Mindset goal to mind. My explicit goals for this challenge are making the space I inhabit as wonderful and settled as possible; making the body I inhabit as whole as it can be; and nurturing the alliances that hold me well. I’m glad I had the Mindset first and foremost, because holy moly there has been a lot of unexpected energy and happenings, most all of it very good indeed. The IKEA building definitely got put on pause, and I might not pick that up again until reflection week (April 29-May 5). The existing pieces and parts of the Apartment are definitely settling in nicely. The walking is going well, and the alliances are nurturing me as much as I am nurturing them. This is good. This is the Way. Ben and I met at the library yesterday to go over pinball scoring and the Holy Spreadsheet, and that was good. I am looking forward to launching the Summer Season of the Women’s Pinball League in June. I’m possibly (re)launching SOPHIA Roanoke in May, but definitely in June. Also along the way, the novel that I planned out and storyboarded in 2020 has started tugging at my sleeve once again, and it’s time to start writing this in a deliberate fashion. I’m hoping to have it completed-enough by Labour Day. All of this is very ambitious indeed, especially with classes. I’m not taking any new classes on, but I do still have to finish out this term over the next ten days. I managed to miss a whole assignment, and now my grade is down to 92% — still an A, but my wiggle room is gone. No matter; all will be well. I hope you have a beautiful, going-without-arriving moment today. ❤️

RIGHT?!?!

Aries for the Win!!! I'm three pages behind, but just about caught up. Hooray for small meaningful conversations that help. Honestly, you and Dave do relationshipping so well it's a balm to my soul to see. Beautiful Friend, I absolutely hear you on this, and also: You have done some massive emotional lifting nearly every day. I would invite you to sit with that and look at the "lift" that the Houseguest brought and the impressive way that you met it. Had you known about the Houseguest at the outset, your formal goals would have been different, and this, too, was an important and meaningful --and nothing short of heroic--pivot. I also like the way that Dave solutioned the houseguest/couch dilemma by trading off and taking "his turn" on the couch or by leaving the house to you and taking the houseguest away. This is good, and it was challenging, and you met it well. Also, I think there's something to be said about how easily you share with us and reflect on your emotional landscape. This is a superpower and you do it well. Many of us are still working on knowing what we feel, let alone knowing it in real time. This is good, and you are good at it. Of course you have everything you need. You are enough, just as you are. You are powerful. You are loved. ❤️ I had not heard of ACT, but I can tell you I never once changed a bad habit or took on a good one by fighting or pushing through. I found that I had to make friends with my demons and dark thoughts, welcome them in and set a feast for my sorrows. So far this has been the only thing that worked/works for me, because I found that it was okay to have them along on the journey as long as I was the one choosing the direction. Are we crying the sauna? Well, yes, but we're in the sauna. Are we ranting our fool head off like a crazy person while we're walking the greenway? You know it, and also, we are walking the greenway. Do we want to throw the freeweights we're lifting, and do we have a list of preferred targets? Almost certainly, and look, we're lifting. 🤷‍♂️ Sending you beautiful vibes for wonderful weather and walking. I really like the way walking helped give a boost to my toniing efforts (back when I did either or both, and now you're inspiring me!). I found that daily small walks really made my lifts more "excersize-y" if that makes any sense. The results seemed to be visible sooner and with less overall exertion. Blessing, Friend. It's Wednesday and you are almost houseguest-free.

I went to Durham! It was so restorative and amazing, as always, to be in that town and to be with Kathi and Tim. They are just brilliant, and being in their company was like being able to breathe fully. It’s astonishing to us all that I am not a librarian or professor at Duke, something we would all like to see me fix very soon. Coming back to Roanoke felt like letting the air out of my sails, as it often does. But I love the apartment, and I slept well. This morning, work was work, and I was calm through it all, which is nice. Apparently there are major changes afoot that aren’t being talked about, which seems to happen at least twice a year, and I’m just at the point where I can’t be bothered to get into a snit about it. I logged out and went to the dentist. I love my dentist, and she did such a great job smoothening over the cracks. Here’s to lots more smiles.

I invited Nic to go with me to the concert tonight, and we're looking forward to it. I haven't done much this afternoon, and I'm kind of okay with that (I mean, being at work is enough, right?). My house is clean. The homework will get done when it gets done. ❤️

I agree with this, and also am picking up on the vibes of not wanting to add to your own tension by rocking the boat. Do you feel it would be heard (and do you have the spoons) to straight out ask Dave what he is willing to do to help? Can you tell him, along with your grievances, that you are in need of assistance from him, since this is his friend and you don't want to be the one to make changes or waves? I always feels extremely awkward when two of my spheres collide, and this is what is happening here. I agree that it seems Right and Just that Dave (the common element to both spheres) should own and manage the friction that this is creating. I also hear that you might not have the spoons to ask, and that needing to have More Words is its own wound. I am so sorry, friend. I hope the Way opens on this and that Dave can fill the need in that Dave-way that he has done in the past. 100% agree with Scaly Freak, per the usual. LIBRARIES! YOUR COFFEE SHOP. A HOTEL (yes, I know you are strapped for funds, but this is a whole thing and if you don't get some restfulness as well as quality sleep soon, the fragile peace could crumble from the weight of it all). Alternatively: Are there nearby-friends you've been meaning to visit who would be amenable to an overnight?

The tens can be scary, and the ten of Air/Swords especially so (especially in the traditional deck!). All tens point the way to letting go of the old as the best path to personal growth and new opportunities. There's a lovely promise of possibilites in the tens, though it is subtle and nuanced, and not without a bit of demandingness. I usually see the 10 of Swords as "the burnout card," and I definitely see this as part of the message in your Ten of Air, here. The grace that I find in this card is pretty amazing, when I sit with it: The acknowledgement of tremendous, even heoric, effort. Air and Swords relate to the mind, and in many ways I see the recent tribulations as a mindset trial, even though it's coming with plenty of physical space and emotional/spiritual elements, Yes, the food and physical space has been invaded, and your emotional equilibrium (and reuinon with Dave) has been upended. But your writings are all about how you are processing this in your headspace in real time, devising strategies and turning to your aether community, and that's a lot. You do need a rest from this. Thankfully the houseguest has an end date (even if we would all like to see that come sooner); what I'm wondering about this card is what it's promising you as well as what it's asking of you: it seems to be inviting you to look to the post-houseguest/post next deployment time as a time for composting all this that has happened, which is apt for all the literal manure you're wading through right now. Writers have a phrase: "It's all copy," meaning that when people treat us like crap, we can turn to the page for a place to process it and find the gems in the dirt. I think of this card in that way as well, and yes it's demanding -- who wants to wade through manure for two weeks only to have to be left alone to clean up the literal and emotional mess all while turning up the heat and stirring the pot enough to make compost?!?! BAH! And yet. This card promises that it's not only dirt. There are gems waiting for you, and I believe that there are. The Universe loves you and wants you to be happy. And I feel the same way. ❤️ Also, BULLY FOR YOU for keeping the no-wheat to 95%! YOU ROCK. bonus about lentils: They are just jam-packed with fiber. One cup has over 15 g of fiber and is just loaded with protein and other nutrients, including Bs. Your brain will thank you, and so will your metabolism. To cook any beans in a crock pot overnight or while you are at work, set however many dried beans in the crockpot (one cup dried yeilds three cups cooked) and fill the crock pot with water to an inch below the rim. Set on high for 8 hours. When you come home, there's a steaming pot of cooked beans ready and waiting. While plain old beans are, well, plain, it doesn't take much to dress them up. I like white beans in my salads, and this is a nice boost to protein and fiber, and they help increase the sense of fullness after eating "only" a salad. A mess of cooked beans can be drained and dumped into a stock pot for a base for chili or any soup, as you probably already thought of. I also like to take a hearty cupful (dark reds are a favorite, but you can use kidney or black turtle beans here as well) and mix it with barley (rice steamer: 1 cup barley to 3+ cups liquid for 45 minutes + time to boil, super great source of fiber) and some browned ground beef (or turkey or chicken or whatever meat you have around), and then add some spices -- garlic or whatever, and sometimes I cook the meat in a crock pot while I'm working (1/4 liquid to 1 pound ground beef, broken up in the pot for at least 1 hour on high or 2-3 hours on low, this is a great place to add vegetables that you want to disappear, like beets all shredded up). Top with cheese (or not, i'm not big on cheese in my dishes much anymore, but I still like it on the side). I don't even know what to call this dish, but there's something deeply satisfying about a bowl of it, especially when I'm feeling low. I am sending good vibes, Friend. I wish I could come cook for you and play cards over a meal after work. ❤️

Whew! We lived to tell the tale. Thank you! I was both in equal, abundant measure. ❤️ Thank you! ❤️ I had a hard time getting to sleep, what with the wind and all the inspiration swirling around, and then, suddenly, I was out like a light. This is the Way. I'm settled and calm and content this morning. Yesterday's storms left everything a bit debris-laden under the calm cool sky, perring down like an unpreturbed cat who can't imagine how the vase got broken. This is a delightful end to the week. I need to write a paper today. It's not due until Sunday, but I'd like to send it this afternoon so that I'm not feeling it tug at my sleeve while I'm visiting over the weekend. I have most of it written and only need to incorporate feedback from the last paper. This is the Way. Some upcoming appointments have been scheduled at long last, and this is good. Speaking of appointments and meetings, I'm getting together with Ben on Tusday evening to go over pinball scoring software and spreadsheets. We're meeting at the library, which is always nice. I scheduled a meeting room so we can have the space to take our time and talk through everything as I get my feet under me with the league scoring. The Summer league will launch soon, and the first get together is June 10.