joedog

Things don't change until you change them fits in nicely with where I am right now. Music makes me really happy also. My poor friends are always getting bombarded with lists of music they should listen to. They mostly humor me.

Well in that case...we'll just sit near an exit.

Note to self: Never go to the movies with @PinkNinja

If you ever need a private channel for anxiety chat, I'm always available and usually anxious. Sent from my SM-G935R4 using Tapatalk

It's totally not a cult. We have just found the path to enlightenment and we want all our friends there too.

I hope you guys know I save a lot of money on therapy by just baring my guts here. Not a lot to report so far. Monday was Greg day. I love Greg days. He likes to see just how far he can push me and that's what I love in a trainer. Most of our work this week was either a bondage fantasy or a lesson in how to use bands to work on muscle imbalances. Tuesday was the first day back to work. I made it by 815 with lunch packed but breakfast was still on the old plan. Tuesday night I did a couple of house chores and then played around with my mandolin a bit. I made something come out of it that was almost like music. The good thing about bluegrass is you don't have to be a good singer to be a good singer. Tonight is up in the air. I'm supposed to go to bjj but I've got a terrible crick in my neck that is making it hard to even move my right shoulder appropriately. So I may just go to the gym and do some light rehab things. I also have vegetables to experiment with. I did make it to work at 745 this morning, first one in. No lunch packed which was planned, gym bag is packed, breakfast was still the same old. But my chicken biscuits were free which I probably deserve after eating them probably 200 days a year for the last 3 years. Yes, really, that many chicken biscuits. That 54% body fat? That's only partly genetics. Anyway, as you can probably tell, current mood is speculative and snarky.

I've been doing a lot of soul searching over the last...year I guess. It's really ramped up with the Rising Heroes stuff. I'm really unhappy with my life and I finally figured out that I'm the only person who can do something about it. I have always believed that I could do anything I put my mind to but I allowed fear to keep me from doing it. Man, have I got a lot of second place ribbons. I never put in maximum effort so I never had to face the reality of pouring your guts into something and not coming out on top. Salads for breakfast actually sounds lovely. Unfortunately I can't seem to eat raw vegetables very much. The best I can tell from google-fu it's the insoluble fiber. I get pretty serious GI pain. No other symptoms but the pain is too much to bear. My wife was vegan for a while and I'm definitely never going to be vegan. So for 6 months we basically did completely separate meals. She has a lot of depression issues and when she struggles it makes everything difficult in the household. Anyone who has suffered severe depression or loved someone who did probably understands what I mean. I also have severe depression and anxiety so we trigger the crap out of each other. Thanks for dropping by and yes, I always have walls of text and way too much information! My biggest issue with breakfast is commitment. I'm a bitter angry troll first thing in the morning. Most days I understand why Brian Wilson stayed in bed for all those years. (Now I have THAT song stuck in my head the rest of the day.) I think my motto is a good one. Like I said above, I'm not happy and no one is going to change that for me. Even the people who want to can't do it for me.

I am a rookie coach with a brand new team. They range in age from 20 to 40. Most of them had never heard of rugby 18 months ago. It is really hard to teach grown ups a sport. The people who worry about getting hurt almost always end up getting hurt. I had to take some time off after a particularly bad concussion because I just couldn't get my head back in there, figuratively and literally. The only reason I can play now is because I started at 19. I could never do it if I was just learning how to play. I'm very realistic about rugby not being a sport for everyone. But I've also been going through all the posts in Rising Heroes and thinking "Oh, she could play for such and such team" or "She's near so and so, I should mention rugby to her." It's a sickness.

They are called stab blenders. It really doesn't matter what they might have been called in the past.

You said "new sport...to try" and I automatically want to hook you up with a rugby team. Challenge is looking good! We will get through these silly winter days.

I feel slightly more unstoppable just by reading how unstoppable you are. Sent from my SM-G935R4 using Tapatalk

December was a pretty good month for me. I think I've established the gym habit and I'm ready to increase on it this month. January is the calm before the storm. Rugby practice starts back up in February with matches happening March and April. I've got 2 airport jobs this spring. Airports are always more difficult than they really need to be. I'm also working on setting up a rugby tournament for the summer. I haven't fully committed to this happening but I have some more preliminary work to do so I can decide whether to jump into it or not. This month, I really have to get my food and fitness ramped up. After January I will be pulled in a ton of directions so if I don't have the habits pretty solid, I will struggle. Goal 1) Gym 3 times per week. Both lifting and bjj count towards the 3. *I changed this from 4 to 3 for realism. I got 2 per week in December, why jump so much and make it harder to succeed? I need success more than I need lofty goals* Goal 2) Rehab. I have a big case of gluteal amnesia that I'm working on with a trainer. I've already made progress but I'm not doing the things I'm supposed to be doing at home. I've got some pretty simple exercises that I'm supposed to do 3 days a week. Goal 3) Food. I just have to do it. I'm committing to primal. It's hard for me to commit because I know I'm going to struggle and be somewhat less than perfect. My wife lives on grains alone (not really but so close to really) so I know it's going to be difficult/impossible for me to do this perfectly. But if I shoot for perfect and land at 60% I'm still so far ahead of where I am now. If I don't try then I'll never know what adjustments I can make for success. Goal 4) Mornings. I suck at mornings. My goal is to be at work by 8 am each day. Eventually I want it to be 7 but that's too much of a change in one go since I'm also adding a primal goal which will require breakfast at home and a packed lunch most days. The only way I'm going to succeed at mornings is to leave all the guesswork out of it. Each night before bed I will lay out my work clothes, make sure my gym bag is ready if it's gym day and have food prepped as much as possible for the next day. My life is pretty chaotic and I'm tired of it. Tired of quitting, tired of chaos and tired of being fat. That's sort of the motto that got me through December so I hope it will carry me forward in january.

I had 3 goals this challenge. Goal 1 was going to the gym 3-4 times per week. I didn't achieve that average but I went at least 2 times per week the entire month. That's the best I've done with the gym ever. I usually miss a couple of days and then quit because I'm not perfect so why bother. Goal 2 was tracking on MFP. I didn't even give it a good effort. But I did a lot better with food and actually lost some weight this challenge. I think I lost about 5 pounds. Mostly I indulged on holiday treats but I didn't stuff myself like the old joedog was highly prone to do. Goal 3 was trying to set a daily tidying habit. I met my goal but I'm not sure I really set the habit. I was on vacation most of the month and housecleaning was the main theme. I will probably revisit something in this vein in the future although it's not going to be my life goal for January. All in all, I'm quite pleased with this challenge. I didn't just rage quit the whole damn thing. I know I'm going to have to bite the bullet and commit to primal or something similar but I have so many good reasons/excuses (yes, they are all good reasons and yes, they are all excuses). Expect some downright whining about this in the new challenge thread. I think some stuff I just have to get out there so I can let go of it.

Pretty much what Sara said. Sent from my SM-G935R4 using Tapatalk

During the Christmas week I only got 2 trips to the gym. The little head cold I got threw me off and then the holiday shortened hours at the gym just made it impossible. I haven't been tracking my tidy up goal but I feel like I've been keeping up with it pretty well. Monday was Greg day. Greg hit a 2016 goal 200# clean and jerk yesterday morning. Not sure his exact body weight but that's getting close to a bodyweight clean and jerk for him. Last week I had used a different squat rack and didn't feel good about it so I had him check me out on it. We decided it just doesn't work for me to use that particular rack. One set of hooks is too low and the next one up is too high. So we left that and did a bench, hammer strength row and goblet squat circuit. I'm getting so much stronger out of the hole on my squats. I'm still at very low weights because we're trying to get all my muscles working right but I could really feel my hips working the correct way for a change. My knee on the bad side hurts like hell but I think that's just the price of doing business right now.

It's really just not fair the way that everything is so damn hard sometimes. I hope it eases up for you soon. Sent from my SM-G935R4 using Tapatalk

I've spent a lot of my adult ish life kind of hating holidays because they just seem like a huge period of failing to meet expectations. I had to sort of accept that it was just that way, set the expectations, meet what I can and let go of everything else. Yeah...it sounds like BS to me too. 😃 Hope you survive the next few days. Sent from my SM-G935R4 using Tapatalk

That whole work life balance thing is something that eludes me. I'm getting better but I doubt I'll ever completely lose my workaholic tendencies. Last week was easier since I was on vacation. Probably not going to get in all my sessions this week because of the holidays. I think there may be some kettlebells this weekend to make up for it. Thanks! I'm struggling this week but I'm not quitting. Hoping to have my routine locked in before the New Year's Resolutionaries show up at the gym. On the other hand, most of my gym work is in the free weights section so less likely to be overrun with people who are hopefully going to make it this year but let's be honest probably won't be there after January 15. Not much to report today. I ended up working on what was supposed to be a vacation day. My boss is pretty cool and will let me have a day off next month that won't count against my 2017 vacation days to make up for it. I'm headed to the gym as soon as I finish up some paperwork and get out of here. Hope the week is treating all of you well!

I am back at work for 3 days this week. I say this every year but next year I really am going to use some of my vacation time BEFORE November. Monday is Greg day. I'm meeting with him once a week from now until the end of January. He wrote up a 2 days per week workout plan that I will do on my own, then my third lifting day will be with him. I think that's going to help me stay stuck in since I know he will be looking at my workout log once a week and the sessions are already paid for so I might as well use them. We went over all the moves yesterday to make sure I knew what I was doing. It was extremely valuable. I did not go to bjj last night because I'm trying to come down with a cold AND I tweaked a groin muscle last week. All my joints are grumpy right now. I think it's the whole being active thing. My bjj partner is also coming down with a cold so we decided in the interest of not breathing cold virus all over the mat we should give it a pass for one night. I think things are still going well. My moods have continued to be all over the place but I'm not letting it keep me from the gym and that's a first. I also did a 3:30 plank today. I officially need a longer plank song for the next step.

I'm starting to notice how each section of the gym has their own Bros. The bro attitude is different around each place. I love my gym. They actually just downsized the machine area and upside upsized the free weight area and the so-called functional fitness area. Functional fitness is my area. Squat stands, weightlifting platforms, bumper plates, a sled, ropes, kettlebells and very little attitude. My head was a mess Friday. The only thing I accomplished was going to the gym. It wasn't my best workout but I did it. I felt better afterward. So that's 3 lifting workouts for the week plus a bonus bjj workout. Food was pretty disastrous but I got huge good news. Amy has agreed to try primal with me after the holidays. I don't know how long she will last but even if it's just for a bit that will be huge for me getting started. I got 6/7 days on tidying up at least something. The verdict is in. My week 2 was pretty damn good! Sent from my SM-G935R4 using Tapatalk

I really think it's a shame you can't get a job as a trainer. Too many trainers just spit out cookie cutter programs without listening and learning about their clients. I was probably going to cancel my training sessions but now that I'm working with someone who really wants to work with me, I'm probably going to keep them. Greg doesn't "look" like a trainer. He's short and round. But he's helped me more in 2 sessions than the "proper" looking guy ever did. *steps off soapbox* Sent from my SM-G935R4 using Tapatalk

I started rereading Hogfather today. I really just love Discworld. Thanks for prompting me to reread some of them! Hope the sleep comes around for you. Sent from my SM-G935R4 using Tapatalk

I will second...third...whatever my place in line is about winter. We had minus wind chills today. The hockey game sounds brilliant! Hopefully that will help you overcome the faulty brain wiring. I've got that too so I know exactly what you mean. Some of us just play life on the difficult setting. Sent from my SM-G935R4 using Tapatalk

Thank you so much! Like I said already, the mood swings are much evil but I'm doing what I can to bust through them and be happier. Couldn't do it without all my nerd family!

Just time for a quick update as I have a kitchen and dining room that are ready for deep cleaning. Yes, this is how I spend my vacation, scrubbing the house. Yay adulthood! I didn't get to go to bjj last night because my beloved companion was meeting a friend from the internet for the first time and you know how dangerous those internet friends can be. She wanted me to go with her so I did. Earlier in the day I went to the gym. My knee is really hurting from the glute stuff we did on Monday which I think means it's working. Squats were rough. OHP was better. I did 3 sets of 5 at 55 pounds, up from 2 sets. Nowhere near ready to go up in weight. I was going to do some cable rows but the cable machine was infested with cable machine bros who are very different from free weight bros. So I did barbell rows instead. I was going to finish up with sled pushes but someone else was using it so I did half a rowing workout. It's 5 minutes row, 1 minute rest, 4 minutes row, 1 minute rest and so on. It's supposed to go down to 1 minute then back to 5 but I'm not quite ready for that yet. So I did half of it. Then I did 3 down and back sled pushes with 200 pounds on the sled. I think I'm going to stay at 200 pounds for a while and work on increasing my speed now. Food tracking is still nil but my eating is ok. The household tidying goal has been easy peasy since my vacation week is literally just for cleaning and gymming.