BLACKBOARD MONITOR

THE BLACKBOARD MONITOR RETURNS, MORTALS. I AM HERE TO BROWSE AND TO USE MY WORDS AS POWER. WHAT IS WRITTEN SHALL NOT BE ERASED.

AT LEAST AS A WEE FREE (WO)MAN AT LEAST YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD. NO PRESSURE TO DO MUCH, EXCEPT THE STEALIN', THE FIGHTIN' AND THE DRINKIN'.

MY LOWLY HUMAN SHELL ENDED UP FOCUSING ON FINDING ONGOING EMPLOYMENT. PLACES OF EDUCATION ARE NOT THE SAFE HAVEN FROM REDUNDANCY THEY ONCE WERE. NOW MY FLESHY-GLANDS ARE NOT TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL FEAR OF LIVING ON THE STREETS OF ANKH-MORPORK, I CAN RETURN TO WRITING OVERLY COMPLICATED CHALLENGE THREADS.

BLACKBOARD MONITORS LIKE MYSELF REQUIRE A DIFFERENT THREAD TITLE, LIKE 'MY ANTHROPOMORPHIC PERSONIFICATION HAS RETURNED TO YOUR PRIMITIVE MORTAL COIL'. I COULD HAVE BEEN ABOUT TO LOSE MY CURRENT BOARD MONITORING POST (SOMETHING ABOUT RESTRUCTURING AND COMBINING TWO DISPARATE WORKFORCES INTO ONE, SLIGHTLY ANGRIER WORKFORCE, LIKE DEVASTATOR IN TRANSFORMERS) BUT FOUND SEVERAL ALTERNATIVES, AND TRIUMPHED IN FINDING A NEW POST MORE TO MY LIKING, AND WITH LESS REDUNDANCY. SATISFYING EMPLOYMENT - TICK. FAT LOSS - CONTINUE.

APPARENTLY, LIFE CAN ONLY BE LIVED GOING FORWARDS, BUT CAN ONLY BE UNDERSTOOD BY LOOKING BACK. I HAVE NOT TURNED MY HEAD, AND YET I AM CAPABLE OF PROCESSING HUGE AMOUNTS OF STATISTICAL AND EMOTIONAL DATA TO HELP INFORM MY PRIORITIES AND RELEVANT PROCESSES WHICH WILL CONTRIBUTE TO SUCCESS IN THIS CHALLENGE. STRANGE. MY WORDS ARE MY POWER. THEY WILL SLOWLY FORM AND BECOME MY GOALS FOR THIS CHALLENGE.

THE END TO THIS CHALLENGE WAS... INTERESTING. THE COALESCENCE OF A LACK OF SLEEP, MAINLY THANKS TO THE SMALL HUMAN, A JOB SEARCH (I STILL DO NOT FATHOM THIS 'REDUNDANCY' CONCEPT, IT IS QUITE UNNECESSARY) AND BEING THE MAIN COOK IN THE HOUSE HAVE ALL ERODED THE AVAILABILITY OF MY MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCE - TIME. I WOULD NOT SAY THAT I FAILED. ONLY THAT I NEED TO RETHINK SUCCESS. READ ALL ABOUT MY NEXT CHALLENGE HERE.

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT A MINI HUMAN, WITH SO LITTLE STRENGTH AND INFLUENCE, COULD MAKE ME, THE CONTROLLER OF WORDS, INFLUENCER OF MINDS, AND OUTSPRINTER OF ZOMBIES, BE OUT OF BED BETWEEN 2 AND 4 AM FOR EXTRA PLAY TIME? I AM ABOUT TO ORDER THIS WEEK'S FOOD (I STILL FEEL A CHEMICAL BUZZ THAT SUGGESTS SMUG IS A GOOD DESCRIPTION, AS THE MEALS ARE ALREADY PLANNED) AND I HAVE RUN AWAY FROM ZOMBIES THIS WEEK. MY EXTREMELY QUESTIONABLE MEASUREMENT HABIT SUGGESTS THAT I AM LOSING INCHES, IF NOT WEIGHT. I WISH TO USE THE WISDOM OF THE GREAT CELIBATE PROPHET, TIMOTHY FERRISS, TO IMPROVE MY DIET IN THE NEXT CHALLENGE TO BUILD FAT LOSS.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, KIND SAGE. WHY SAGE, AND NOT TARRAGON? OR PERHAPS BASIL?

I AM CONFUSED. WHILST MONITORING IS FOR LIFE, THIS FLESH-BEING CONCEPT OF 'JOB' IS APPARENTLY TEMPORARY, LIKE EMOTIONS AND TIME. IN ADDITION TO GOALS, I HAVE ALSO SEARCHED FOR NEW MONEY EARNING OPPORTUNITIES. MY BODY OS PRODUCING SMUGNESS CHEMICALS.

I HAVE ALREDY PLANNED MY MEALS FOR NEXT WEEK. FEAR ME, HABIT FORMATION. MY DUOLINGO STREAK RISES FROM THE ASHES ONCE MORE.

10 XP FOR DUOLINGO. THAT IS ALL.

100 XP ON DUOLINGO. EXCELLENT DIETARY PREPARATION. NO WORKOUT - HOWEVER A NEW CV, A JOB APPLICATION, LINKEDIN WIZARDRY, AND SMALL HUMAN MAINTENANCE AND CARE. A GOOD TWO DAYS WHICH HAVE BEEN ARBITRARILY IDENTIFIED AS NOT WORK DAYS BY SOCIETY.

IRONICALLY I LOST MY 40 DAY DUOLINGO STREAK. I almost feel mortal. BUT I WILL STILL MEET MY GOAL OF 100XP PER WEEK. I HOPE TO REPORT POSITIVE NEWS OF A WORKOUT SOON.

40 DAY DUOLINGO STREAK. I HAVE LEFT EPIC, MAJOR KEY ORCHESTRAL MUSIC IN MY WAKE FOR SEVERAL HOURS. WILL I COMPLETE 2 WORKOUTS THIS WEEK? I HOPE SO BECAUSE I ENJOY THE SWEATY FEELING.

DUOLINGO HAS BEEN GRACED BY MY PRESENCE 39 TIMES. MY MEASUREMENTS CONTINUE TO SHOW A REDUCTION IN UNNECESSARY BODY MASS. I HOPE TO BE ACTIVE TOMORROW. I MADE BROCCOLI PESTO TO GO WITH A SLOW CARB INSPIRED EVENING MEAL. SOUP LACKS MORAL FIBRE.