Kaprycious_Blue

So, I've been running just a few months, but in Wisconsin (especially today, but it's on and off all winter) it gets REALLY cold. I've got plenty of layers for the top, and gloves and etc., but does anyone have some preferred layers for my legs. The local bike shop has some wool tights that seem like they might fit the bill, but before I throw down serious money, I was curious if anyone had input. Also, if anyone has a preferred brand of doggie booties, the combination of salt and snow is hurting my pup's feet and I've got to fix it so she can keep running with me. Thanks in advance!

I feel like all I post anymore are downfalls, but at least they're pretty little. I ate a mouth of cake yesterday. It was delicious, but one bite was enough to satiate me. That, and some wine that I had on Tuesday are really my only failings this week though. It's getting a lot easier craving-wise, but I'm kinda losing interest in following through. I'll do it, 'cause I said I'd do it, but I think I haven't changed my eating habits a whole ton. Food-related, but not goal-related, I sent in my checks for CSAs today (one fruit/veggie, one meat). I'm pretty excited to be getting every other week shipments of fresh, local, organic produce starting in May. It's kinda expensive, but at least by May I'll probably have enough cooking skills to be less intimidated.

Blah Blah. Happy weekend. 1.) Last night I ran 25 minutes without (really) stopping, for the third time in a row. Ugh. I have to stop once in a while for the dog to do her business, but last night we got the best time we've had yet! And, every time, around the 10 minute mark, I'm ready to give up and go home, but luckily it's super cold out, and sweating and walking in that temperature doesn't add up to a good time, so I push through, and then I don't notice time passing till there's only 5 minutes left. (That's 15 minutes of pleasant running!!) I've got seven more runs, which is exactly two weeks! (Actually, it's two weeks + a few days for the race, but my goal is to have at least a day off beforehand for resting.) Woo! I'm going to kick butt. 2.) Ok. I'm getting a little better at remembering to track my sleep, which I think will be helpful for me. It's really hard to remember that my sleeping is really off. Bad thing about it right now: my boyfriend has a completely messed up sleep schedule, so I am tempted to stay up late to hang out with him, and not get enough sleep. Good thing: I'm starting to develop an actual sleep schedule, so I'm more aware of when I should be going to bed. It's slow going, but it's going. 3.) My sugar has been... pretty good. I stole a bite of cake at work yesterday because it was ordered by mistake and I'm really worried we won't re-order it for when I can have it. That's stupid, I realize, but I did manage to stick to one forkful and I also managed to wait two weeks before I did even that. My friend came over and made dinner the other night, and he didn't know about my diet restrictions, but because we mostly used things that were in my house, we still didn't have any sugar! YES! We shared a bottle of wine though, which is essentially sugar. :/ I dunno, part of me is just really bored of no sugar. I don't even know that it's cravings, it's just... meh. I do think I've lost weight though, so I'm looking forward to being "allowed" to look at a scale. I'm clinging to that as my reason to keep at it. 4.) Welp, pretty much done. I sent in some letters of reference, my actual application, the fee, and sent out requests for my transcripts. It turns out I had some loan in default from my college, so there's a hold on my transcripts, but maybe my boyfriend knows of a way I can work on getting that paid off (another loan or something?) so I can get my transcripts. Ugh. Lots of work, lots of worry. I don't know when I'll hear back, and even though I think everything could be great, I'm pretty sure I'll have gone through all of this just to get turned down.

Ok, I feel like I haven't posted in a while, probably because I've been pretty busy. Time for an update: 1.) C25k work has been going well. I did the whole 3.4 mile loop that I like (the program was over before I was done, so I just walked the rest of the way home) last time, and tonight is the beginning of the end of the C25k program, as the runs from here on out are just one solid time (25 minutes, 28 minutes, or 30 minutes, depending on the week). I've spent a good portion of the morning trying to figure out what to do when I'm done, because it seems like it's coming up really fast. I don't really want to run longer distances, maybe a 10k someday, but long-distance running seems like it ruins bodies. Also, honestly, running 30 minutes every other day is way easier to fit into my schedule than something like running a marathon. I guess some people like that, but I'm just not one of 'em. I think I'll spend at least a few months at this distance, and if it starts to get boring, I'll start working up to a 10k. Anyway, that was long and just a rant. If anyone reads this and has advice for just maybe speeding up my time (I really do well with programs, and less well with going with the flow!) without much increasing speed, let me know. I've been kicking butt, and my boyfriend was complaining yesterday that now that the pup comes running so much, she's disappointed even when he takes her on nice long walks. 2.) I really was weirdly awake last night after my double shift of work, and my house is a giant mess. I super wanted to "at least do the dishes" before bed, but it was 4 a.m., and I knew dishes would turn into sweeping and taking out the trash, and probably deciding to organize paperwork knowing me. I just can't do things part-way. So instead, I decided I'd try to sleep first, and what do you know? As awake as I felt, I fell asleep in like 5 minutes. I'm glad I didn't try reading a book either. I don't know why I act like sleep is something I need to put off. 3.) Ok, this week was sort of a let-down. And I know the main point of my challenge was "no sugar" and I'm judging myself against the Whole30 standards, so I'm actually doing better than I think (at this specific aspect), but I'm still feeling pretty let down with myself. Thursday my friends took us out to dinner, and the menu looked so good, so I gave in and had pasta (!) with cheese (!) and two alcohoic (!) sugary (!!) drinks. The part that makes me feel the most bad is, weirdly, that I didn't feel bad. It was delicious, and it was a (very late) birthday present, and I didn't get stupid drunk, and I loved every bite of food and sip of drink. Then, on Friday, it was my other friend's birthday. I was able to resist the delicious looking (and smelling) chips and dips, but every year she makes this amazing white-chocolate-brownie cake with rainbow chip frosting. I had two pieces. I didn't drink any alcohol, but I hope I didn't destroy my Whole30 "cleansing" sorta thing, because that cake is my favorite. I've brought some nut mixes to both of my jobs to help with cravings, and I'm on track to run out of food just in time to go shopping on Wednesday, so overall I'm doing really well, but I feel guilty that I don't feel guilty about those two slip-ups. Is that weird? I guess at least I'm not gorging on sugars, and I do notice they're much sweeter than I can handle much of, but I don't like that I'm so happy to make excuses. I do like that I've got more chicken curry and squash to come home to tonight though, because that stuff is the bomb. (Trader Joe's brand, from a jar... I never knew dinner could be so easy and tasty!) 4.) You guys, big stuff is happening here. I know I've already written a novel, but I have gotten 3 recommendations written and sent in for me, my personal statement has been revised by three wonderful women whose opinions I value greatly, and I got past the horrible panic attack phase where I was focusing on how many times in the past I've mucked up my plans. Now I've just got a bunch of supportive people telling me not to worry, because I'm smart and capable, and I can do whatever I put my mind to. I can't send in the application till I get paid on Tuesday because I don't have the money to do so, but it's sitting here, beautiful and perfect and ready to go first thing Tuesday morning. I even signed on to the ACT web site to send my scores to the school and called to get transcripts from my old college and high school. Those things are frustrating, so many forms and red tape to get through? Ridiculous! But, I sat down and did it, and it amazes me that it took me so long to get to this point.

Thanks! I really was filling out my application. My lovely boyfriend and his family have been editing my "statement" for the application. It was a rough morning, because dropping out of college was really the most foolish thing I've ever done, and I like to just pretend it never happened. Having to come to terms with it brought up a lot of self-loathing and crying and just plain terror that I've messed my life up forever. I know that's stupid, I'm only 27, my life isn't messed up forever. Actually, mostly it's very good, it'd just be better if I was doing something I love for money instead of several things I rather dislike. It's so weird to write about because it doesn't sound scary, it's just writing a "brief introduction" and saying "HEY, LOOK AT ME! I LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING IN SCHOOL!" And, as my boyfriend's mom pointed out, "The admissions people have heard every stupid story that's out there, yours isn't likely to be the worst one." But it's very overwhelming. Anyway, if you do a quick Google search for C25k, it's a program to take you from the "couch to 5k". It assumes that you have never run before and it takes you to running a 5k in 9 weeks (running 3 times a week). You can download an app for your phone that's super nifty (that's what I did) and play it with your music. A nice lady tells you when to start running and when to go back to walking. And, my favorite part is at the end of the session (after the cool down), when she says "That's it; you're done." It sounds like she's firing me from running, and I'm weird, so I think it's hilarious. My boyfriend did it last year, and I've never been much of a runner, but my energetic little corgi doesn't give me the option of not being active. Hey, thanks! It was pretty weird to see on my description for the next day, so I don't even know that it'll seem more reasonable once you've worked up to it. I *AM* looking forward to 3 shorter runs tomorrow. Who'd've thunk I'd be looking forward to *only* 8 minutes per run? Well, it's super late, and although tomorrow's my day off and I can sleep in, I should probably get off the computer. I DID things today!

Ugh. Today was super, super rough. My friend showed up in town out of the blue, and since work was incredibly boring, I left early and we hung out for a few hours, which ended with going out to eat. We needed cheap and easy to park his giant truck (cities aren't the best places to be parking trucks) so we went to the bar down the street. They have the BEST mini corndogs, and I really, really wanted them. I can't describe how close I came to ordering them, especially when everyone else was having calzones and grilled cheese. (Curse living in Wisconsin when my Whole30 said no dairy!!) Anyway, that's not technically related to my no sugar thing (I drank water with lemon instead of soda or hard cider), but I did enjoy my brat-patty burger with sauteed onions, and I'm proud I survived the tasty menu.

OMFG. Apparently the deadline for fall semester at my local college is Feb. 1st!!! I didn't even know when it was, if I hadn't signed up for this challenge, I'd probably have put it off even longer. See? This is terrifying stuff. If I don't get in now, I don't get to go to school THIS WHOLE YEAR, even though it just started.

So, yesterday (and again today) I decided to hit snooze twice instead of getting up and eating breakfast. It doesn't technically have any result on whether or not I had sugar, although I could see that it'll wear on me until I couldn't handle cravings. I had more salmon & mango & squash last night, and I'm having some masala tonight. And, well, it seems cheap because it's my day off, but I'll wake up and eat breakfast tomorrow. No more skipping all the time.

Woo! I ran last night, even though it was the hardest thing ever. It wasn't, but I was so cozy in bed after eating dinner, and all I wanted to do was just curl up, watch the next episode of Castle and sleep. But I couldn't, 'cause I've done so well and because there are literally only enough days left before the race to go running every other day and finish the program. (Assuming I get to take the two days before the race off, which seems healthy.) It was so tiring, but except for dog potty breaks, I ran the whole 20 minutes. I got more than 9 hours of sleep last night! Partially 'cause I was basically asleep the moment my run ended, but I didn't fight it, I didn't even go all the way back to my house, 'cause my boyfriend's was closer, and I WANTED SLEEP. Blargh. I decided to hit snooze too many times today AND yesterday to eat breakfast, but I managed to stay at work without leaving to get terrible for me food from the restaurant next door, and just ate quite a bit for dinner. Honestly, I could see my not eating enough as part of why I'm so tired, so I'll try to be better about waking up in the morning and actually eating breakfast. I wish there was a microwave at work; it'd make lunch much more feasible. And, I'm going to fill out my college application as soon as I close this window. It's way better than using my work computer to watch TV on slow days.

Alright. It's Sunday, so this closes out the first week of the challenge! 1) I ran again last night, meaning that I ran every other day this week, no excuses! YES! Last night's run was the slowest I've had in a while, but also the most running. It was 8 minutes on, 5 minutes walking, 8 minutes on again. I probably could've done it faster (and therefore further), but it's been so cold, and these last couple days I've been an emotional wreck, so I'll stick with being happy that I did it at all. Also, prep myself for the fact that tomorrow is a 20 minute run, which sort of terrifies me. My pup, on the other hand, thought last night was wonderful and seemed almost bummed when we pulled back into our apartment. We'll see how she feels tomorrow. 2) I tried to go to sleep pretty early last night, and didn't quite succeed, but I decided to sleep in today instead of getting up and "being super productive" before work, so I got 10 hours in. I like sleeping, I don't know why I always put it at a lower priority than things like sweeping and stuff. Sure, each other task is only a few minutes, but if you keep adding them on, that's not good. I need to learn to be more efficient with my non-sleep time, not give up sleep to get stuff done. 3) This one is easier than I expected it'd be. It's a little bit of a hassle when grocery shopping to check all the ingredients lists, but I don't put a lot of sugar in things anyway. Also it's been really exciting learning to cook real foods. I think the honeymoon phase will go away soon, but I'm going to enjoy it while it's going on. Also, I think instead of getting all sorts of complicated recipes and stuff, my ideal strategy has been "learn how to cook squash. now cook all of it." Sure, each dish is a little bland, but eventually I'll learn what it needs added to it. I guess I'm learning spontaneity. Which is good to know. 4) Still nothing. Grr. It's so scary, and I've got all these excuses...

I do the home-made one, because apparently it's whoa expensive. I just did quick google search for the recipe, which is basically "boil butter for 10 minutes. pour through cheesecloth." Done. It takes 15 minutes, and even the most organic, pastured-cows butter doesn't cost nearly as much as ghee. Don't get salted butter though, as it seems to boil out. Having to put the salt on afterwards makes me realize how much salt I normally eat. WOW. But look into that. I just use a bell jar to store it in. Last night was pretty usual. I mixed some squash and sauteed peppers and onions into the chicken curry I had in the fridge. It wasn't as spicy as I normally like things, but since it was out of a jar (I checked; no sugar or other sugary substitutes listed in the ingredients), I guess that makes sense. I think this will be my new go-to comfort food. If it were spicier, I'd be certain it would cure any illness I have. Tonight's another night of working at the pizza shop, which is always a bit trying, but it's been super cold lately, so I think it'll be really slow, and I'm afraid my bored-ness will inspire me to eat a garlic roll or cheesecake or pasta or something. But I watch them make it all, and it's all filled with piles of sugar. Boo. Still, this is the end of my second week of my Whole30 (technically I started over 3 days ago, so it's just day 3), so I've done really well and I can totally make it the rest of the challenge. As I can see from everyone's posts, none of us are alone in our slip-ups, so taking it in stride is a really good step forward. YAY!

Hey, thanks! I feel like I have, although my kitchen's still a mess. I'm not used to cooking with any frequency. I'd say not to worry too much about your pace if you're doing the c25k program, because if you just keep at it, you'll be basically running a 5k 3 times a week in the end anyway. The first two times I started it, I either hurt myself or gave up because in my mind "running" meant going a lot faster than my body was ready for. My boyfriend's been running for a while, and the first time he ran with me he told me to slow down, and of course I didn't listen. It only took me like 2 weeks to hurt my legs. The second time, I'd read up on how it's better for you to get started slow, and not to feel bad about feeling like you're running in place. That time I got to week 4, and it was crazy hard so I just stopped. This time though, I've read some more books and web sites, and I'm trying to run "better" and focus on that instead of just faster. Also, remember that for the first few weeks of the program, you're doing a lot of walking, so your pace will improve a bunch just from taking that out. Whatever, you probably know most of these ideas already, congrats on making it this far! Week 5 is where it starts getting harder faster, in my opinion, so don't give up (like I did)! Anyway, I thought I'd do my little update. Yesterday is my worst day of the week, 'cause I work a double shift and then work starts early this morning. I only got 5 hours of sleep last night, but at least when I got home I convinced myself not to "just do a few things" before bed, because my health is more important than hating how messy it is there. For dinner, I had salmon, mango salsa, acorn squash, half an avocado (before it goes totally bad), and some sparkling water with lemon in it. Because I'm fancy, and I only had an hour between jobs to go home, eat, feed the dog, and get to my other job, but cooking ahead makes life awesome. Thanks for the support! I'm trying! Food porn:

Yay! I finally got to eat my fancy salmon dinner! (Salmon, mango and pepper salsa, acorn squash with ghee, and half an avocado 'cause they're about to go bad. With a slice of lemon in seltzer water to drink. No sugar, easy peasy.)

Sorry I haven't been posting much, Wednesday and Thursday were my days off. (Normally I only get one day off a week, but the store I work at was closed this week, so more free time!) I spent Wednesday cooking like a mad-woman. I've frozen some things and some is just in the fridge (I prefer, if I can, to do cooking for two weeks so that I have some leeway on my only day off). I've got containers of salmon and mango salsa (I'll put pictures tonight when I have it for dinner) and chicken masala and red chicken curry. Everything smells great, but I was finishing off the freezer-burned veggies and meat I had left before I started in on the new stuff. As far as my goal goes, I've already made a mis-step, and had a sugary drink at my friend's house yesterday. I didn't want to come off as weird, and since it was just drinks, I said I'm off alcohol for a month (it's true) and not to worry about me, as I'd bring something along and not be a burden. Well, they went out of their way to concoct a similar-tasting brandy slush without any alcohol. I didn't want to be like "Actually, I'm off sugar too, you wasted all of your time!" So I had some. Luckily it'd been 10 days, so now I'm more sensitive to the taste of it, and I was quite done after two small-ish drinks. Alas, I've got to start my Whole30 again, but I know that one mistake doesn't mean I'm doomed to failure or that I should pig out the rest of the night as "I'd already failed." I stuck to my macadamia nuts and sparkling water after that.

Thanks for the support, guys! I know the last one is definitely going to be the most important (and therefore scariest), and also it's one l haven't worked on yet. Well, for me Wednesday/Thursday is the weekend, so I have mixed results. 1) I've done two more runs on my C25k, mostly because my dog is pretty insistent that we run at LEAST every other day. She loves it, and I love her, so it all works out. This is the third time I've started the program, and the first time I've actually gotten this far. All the other weeks are more of "this is your workout for the week" but this week gets harder each day! I was up to it though. My runs were slower, because I'm not sure yet how fast I can run for 5 whole minutes, but I'm glad to say that I finished stronger than I started, and I think running 8 minutes straight tomorrow is something I can actually do! 2) I downloaded a sleep app for my phone that I just check in and out when I go to sleep and wake up. I set the offset for half an hour because I don't know how long it takes me to fall asleep, but sometimes I end up talking to my boyfriend or getting distracted by a book a while after I've plugged in my phone for the night and set it to sleep. (I do try to get up and re-start it if it's been a while though.) The app says I've averaged 8.2 hours per night, which seems good, but that's partially over (my) weekend, so we'll see how it shakes out throughout the rest of the week. I would like to aim for an average of 8 hours/night though. 3) Well, I did really well until yesterday. I was planning to meet up with friends for drinks and nail painting and just hanging out. I warned them in advance that I am taking time off from alcohol, and not to worry about it killing the mood, as I'd bring some Klarbrun and limes and it'd look like I was drinking, and I wouldn't mind. WELL, they still felt bad and made a non-alcoholic version of the brandy slush my one friend is known for. I just couldn't bring myself to turn it down, so I had two drinks I think. (I did mix it with the Klarbrun I brought instead of 7up, but that doesn't negate the giant amounts of sugar in it.) Luckily, going 10 days without sugar HAS made it noticeably sweeter, so I couldn't stomach as much as I probably would have otherwise. Either way, I'm starting my "Whole30" thing over, so now no alcohol till Feb. 10. On the good side of this one though, I spent all day Wednesday cooking enough food for two weeks, so I've got some stuff in the freezer to pull out a day in advance, and some stuff in the fridge, ready to heat up and eat. I made all sorts of fancy things like Salmon with mango salsa, some chicken with red curry, chicken masala, and more squash than a normal person probably eats in a year. I was going to post a picture, but I forgot to take one before I left for work this morning. I am VERY excited to eat everything I've got there, and it's all super healthy and low-carb and sugar free. 4) I haven't done anything yet.