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Everything posted by Fonzico

  1. Thursday and Friday update: Carbs: under 30 both days No new workouts Class: studied and wrote my midterm. It went well - if I had to guess, I probably got in a "B" range. It was tiring though, it took me almost 2 hours to write. Fortunately my ridiculous anxiety from Thursday dissipated and Friday was much better. I studied for most of the day, but also got in a decently long dog walk (and a shower haha - it's ridiculous how easy it is to forget to shower when you barely leave the house...) And I'm super proud of properly getting my eating back on track the last few days. I've even avoided the evening snacking thing, which makes a huge difference! I'm back down to the weight I was before Christmas, and so ready to actually make some progress. So far today has been a lazy morning, a bit of sleeping in, and some Mandalorian/puppy snuggles/coffee and bailey's - what more can you ask for? The pups clearly want to go out, but it's gross outside... But maybe it's better to get it over with!
  2. The meetings themselves went fine (one of them I had to lead, and I actually did get some positive feedback after that one, so that was nice) but my anxiety got WAY out of control around it anyways. I actually came here to see if I had said what my plans were because I felt like I was forgetting something! Apparently I actually have none. That being said, there's still stuff to do - I DO need to get caught up on our business financial stuff for last year, we need to put a new apparel order in, and do some promoting, as we've been totally slacking on that lately. And I should read a bit for my class. But it's going to be a cold, snowy weekend, so I'm cool with hibernating and doing a combo of productivity and relaxing!
  3. I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling lately, my friend. I'm glad you were able to talk to your therapist though! You are such a caring person, Rhia - for giving your husband an ear when he's excited about something you don't care about (I know this one well!), For all your contributions on the forum. For showing up for your friends even when you don't feel like it. For the way you manage your employees and for the value you contribute at work. And these things all take up so much emotional energy! And to care for yourself on top of that, when you have up live inside your own head (full of brain weasels, that like to tell you hurtful nonsense) is a Big Job. And even though I know don't feel like you're succeeding, still showing up to the fight is incredible. You are still here. In the world, and here in the forums. You are still trying. Therapy. Tracking your goals even when you don't meet them. My life is better for having you in it, and so is the world in general. And I have the utmost faith that you CAN and WILL find some purpose and recognize your value.
  4. Okay, so Monday and Tuesday were still a bit off track, but I got it together yesterday. Hit my carb goal AND did 25 minutes of yoga! I did up an online order for the produce and a few other things I missed out on on Mondays grocery trip, so I have to go into town tonight to pick it up. I'll also stop by the library and pick up the Primal Gourmet cookbook that I have on hold - it's not keto, but I bet lots of it will be modifiable for it! I'll probably make the meatballs and spaghetti squash tonight. Yesterday I ate the same thing for lunch and dinner - shrimp, sauteed with veggies, on top of coleslaw. Super tasty. I have a little bit of leftovers for lunch today. I haven't read any new chapters for my class this week, but my midterm is tomorrow, so the focus is on review. I'll go hard on the new content starting this weekend. Now I just need to get through today! I have a couple of mildly anxiety-inducing meetings today, but at least they are in the morning and will be out of the way with soon enough. And then tomorrow off to study and write the test. Still grateful for a 3 day weekend, even if it's not going to be relaxing.
  5. Great job making it there anyways! Rotisserie chicken is one of the best quick meal options ever. I'm going to have to make another trip too, because I went to the little bitty store near by instead of going into the city, and their produce department is pretty limited. But still! I got ingredients to make keto lasagna (you make the noodles out of a mix of eggs, cream cheese and mozza! I've never tried it before). and pizza soup (Italian sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, green peppers and onions in a beef/tomato broth. You can be fancy and melt the cheese on top, French onion style). I also got stuff for salads. I made one for dinner last night, with some chicken thighs that I already had on hand. Added tomatoes, Red Onion, cheddar cheese and caesar dressing. Also grabbed a spaghetti squash, which I'll probably use with some meatballs that I froze a few weeks back. I love it when I remember to do stuff like that!
  6. Long story short, I ate like a asshole this weekend. Hopefully I exorcised some demons in the process, but I just feel gross today. BUT remotivated, so that's good. And SO relieved to be working from home again for a couple weeks!! I'm going to get groceries today and (since I actually did clean out the fridge on Saturday) fill up on healthy food options. I'm also going to make an effort to have easy, appropriate snacks on hand, as I'm realizing that not having good options is contributing to my deviance.
  7. I managed the first four, so not too bad. I also told myself I was going to cut myself slack on the business stuff until my class is finished, so I'll let it go. I did NOTHING on Sunday though (other than walk the dogs) which was probably not ideal. I needed it! This week is going to be better. In a lot of ways. It's on!
  8. Salad totally cancels out nachos (that's how that works, right??) Haha I kid, but for real, great job giving your body what it needed for dinner! I'm sorry about the walk frustration - what about a longer one today to make up for it? So glad to hear you're back on your therapist's schedule!!
  9. Haha books are bed-time kryptonite! Easy trap to fall into. Great job sticking to water at the BBQ! No liquid calories makes a huge difference. Hopefully you'll be able to get a workout in today? Sometimes the universe (and Bubs) just conspire against one.
  10. Well, I made it to the weekend! So that's nice. And I did get a bit of a sleep in this morning (8am instead of 630) and it was lovely. And perhaps even better is nursing my coffee for over an hour! Yesterday involved sushi for lunch (zero regrets), way too many carbs over all and a fair amount of alcohol. And I enjoyed it all, and didn't actually binge, so, you know, still better than it might have been. My to-do list for the weekend is a bit uncomfortably long, but I'll just do my best without exhausting myself and what gets done, gets done. I do get a long weekend next weekend - I'm writing my mid term on Friday, and I have that whole day off. Obviously it will mostly be taken up by studying and writing, but still, at least it isn't work. After next week, my extra hours contact ends, so I'm back down to 31.5 hours per week. The good news of that is that we're not going back to the old schedule (which was just slightly shortened days) - starting the first week of February, I'll get every other Wednesday off. So much better!! To-do's for today are: -walk dogs -clean out fridge -vacuum -at least start some laundry -also get a start on finance stuff for business. If I can manage that, I'll feel good about life.
  11. Ughhhhh it's SO HARD to walk that line! Hence why I make so much progress when I'm just being insanely strict, but of course it's not sustainable. Thanks Rhia - it never occurs to me to ask for help in the moment! But I would totally be in for being accountabilibuddies if you're down with that!
  12. I'm glad today was better! Good job shifting your momentum. Mmm lamb! It's so expensive here, mostly seems to be imported from New Zealand, so it's a rare treat in my house.
  13. Well, safe to say this hasn't been the best week ever. My challenge goals have not been met at all so far. Work has been okay, but it's still just much more tiring that WFH, and I've been out of energy and willpower by the time I get home. But I'm really trying to be kind to myself and I AM still trying to make good decisions even if I'm not always succeeding. But I'm not making the worst decisions all the time, and that's a good thing. If ever I needed a week of low expectations, this is it. And that's hard to accept, but it's true. I really wanted "cutting myself some slack" to mean going out for a non-keto lunch today, but I managed to talk myself down - I've already eaten out for lunch twice this week (chicken strips and salad one day, and a grilled chicken avocado salad yesterday, so not actual the worst). But I did bring lunch, even if it was boring, and also my budget can't really handle too much more of that, so instead I'm eating my chicken and veggie soup and string cheese and pouting. I'm still determined that I'll get a workout in and a chapter read, even if it means doing it on the weekend. I'm strongly hoping that a nice sleep-in on Saturday will make me whole.
  14. Great job with your goals so far this week! I'm sorry I don't have much to add on the sleep maintenance issues and stress... Except that not napping after work and going to bed a bit later might help. Except you haven't been having luck napping anyways lately so I'm not sure. Maybe see if there's a correlation though? Even if you don't have any acute concerns, just living in this covid world is a stressor! We get used to the day to day, but it's still having a long term effect. Just continue to give ourselves grace for now, I think.
  15. I'm still loving the enrichment inspo! I finally got mine a cage ball. And we're trying to incorporate more of this kind of stuff. I appreciate you turning me onto it!
  16. Yes! This exactly. You are absolutely doing the right thing here. I had someone recommend James Clear's Atomic Habits book to me recently, and while I'm still trying to get my hands on the full book, the premise is basically that Even Though we don't see the results of these incremental changes right away, they ARE still making a difference that will show up in the end. Being 1% better adds up if you just stick with it through the periods where it seems like nothing is happening.
  17. So this weekend was basically a write-off. Friday was a stressful day at work, and I was feeling anxious about returning to work (physically) on Monday, and I did not deal with those emotions healthily at all. = Too much alcohol, off-plan foods, zero productively, hangover protocols on Sunday. Etc. Friday's carbs were ok, but Saturday and Sunday were both over. Week One Recap: Carbs: met my goal (under 30g) 4/7 days. Workout: 51 minutes (goal was 25) Class work: Read one chapter (met goal) Overall still a decent week. I don't love how I handled myself (and my anxiety over life, the universe and everything) over the weekend, but I'm not letting it derail me. Being back at work today has not been as awful as anticipated (tell that to borderline panic-attack Fonzico on the way in this morning - I almost hit a deer, which shocked me out of it and was the only reason I didn't show up with mascara trails down my face). There are way fewer students on campus than we were told to anticipate and we're nice and spaced out within the office. I have to work at the front counter for service delivery reasons (we have big plexiglass shields up though, with just a little slot to pass papers), but I still HAVE an office, so I have a quiet, private space to go for breaks, which I appreciate - most of my co-workers don't have that, and will have to use the staff room or another semi-pubic area or leave campus I suppose. Hey, looks like there was a benefit to my crippling anxiety spells from the fall before last, since it resulted in me getting moved into this space! Today is still just about getting through the day - I won't put too much more on myself. It's been exhausting already. Tomorrow we'll start thinking about how we'll meet this week's goals.
  18. We have a little t-shirt/sign/decal business, so it's a vinyl cutter. Lately we've been focusing on being a disc golf apparel brand, because we love to play disc golf and there's not really too many people doing that kind of thing right now. We have a website at www.treelinedga.ca (not self-promoting in any way, as we do not ship outside of Canada! Just if you're interested in seeing what we do!) Like I said, there's capacity for a lot of success, but I have been super inconsistent about putting the effort in. But we've got to pay off this equipment now, so it needs to happen!
  19. Week One Days Three and Four: Carbs: 19g and 22g respectively <-- heck yes, go me. Workout: nothing new to report. Classwork: 1 Chapter read Yesterday was pretty chill. I did take the dogs on a 2nd, decently long walk on my lunch break. Dinner was shrimp skillet with lots and lots of veggies and a caesar salad: And then I was super tired so I went to bed at 8 and was out by 830! Plan for today is to do some more yoga on my lunch break. Get the dogs out again. Supper is still undecided. I might do grilled cheese and tomato soup using some of the keto bread I found the other day. But I'll need some protein at some point too. There's also still some leftovers from dinner yesterday, but not enough for both of us. I'm caught up on classwork now, so my goal for the weekend is going to be working on our side hustle. The website needs updating, I have year end financial stuff to do, and we really need to do a stock order (but I don't want to spend the money because we just bought a brand new $2700 plotter!! Which is super exciting and is going to make our lives so much better - we bought our current machine when we first started SEVEN years ago, and it's a super cheap Chinese model with zero support or ability to get new parts for. It also is starting to just not work sometimes, and even when it does work, it's imperfect. So the new machine should dramatically cut down our time to complete jobs!) Gah! Anyways. I know this business has the capacity to succeed, but I do need to be more consistent about putting the effort in.
  20. Thank you!! It felt so good to check off all those things! True story, my puzzle table is just one of those folding plastic ones, with a table cloth on it! I know what you mean though, even on the table it's a bit hard on my back. I was worried my cat would think it was a big toy, but while she does like to walk over it, she hasn't absconded with any pieces yet haha
  21. Um, can we just stop for a second and talk about how YOU STILL DID COMPLETE ONE OF YOUR GOALS?!? You had all the justification in the world for taking a day off yesterday (and for the record, I STILL would have been proud of you if you had) but you made the effort to meet one of your goals and that's fucking badass. I'm so sorry to hear that your mental state is going in that direction - I know how pointless things can seem when you're feeling that way. Just know that you have love and support, and whatever you need to do to take care of yourself is a Good Thing. I hope you can find your way back to the good place soon.
  22. I'm sorry, that is awful! Give yourself some grace today (but keep drinking water, because it will help you feel better!). Remember, bare minimum on the days that are hard. You can think of your other ideals tomorrow when you're well rested. Life happens! And it's totally okay to take a beat. But I KNOW that you don't want this to be the thing that derails what you've started here. A good night's rest will make all the difference. Hugs!
  23. Quoting myself to say that I DID crush that entire list! (Yes, you heard me, all Four things ) I was tempted to not do items 2 and 3 though, so it really is a victory. I actually came here to check on what I had declared ("did I say I would read a whole chapter? Or just get some reading done? Damn, whole chapter, okay fine") and was like "oh crap, I forgot about the dogs!" So we went for an 8 o'clock, very dark neighborhood wander. It was still pretty nice out, so it was good. And it helped me get my steps up to a reasonable level, so there. And then I finished my puzzle! Which I am realizing is a genuinely good way to relax. You have to concentrate hard enough that it empties your mind of other nonsense, it's basically meditation. I think I'll return this and get another one! Riding this productivity and healthiness train as far as it will take me! And like I said on @RhiaWolfe 's thread - build some habits so the good stuff will come without thinking about it once the super motivation wears off.
  24. THIS! Okay, so I am in the same place you are right now - feeling super motivated and wanting to so All the Healthy Things. But I KNOW at some point I'm just not going to feel as enthusiastic about it. Which is exactly why we are using this time to build good habits because even once we're not longer 100% motivated, it will be easier to just keep doing what we were doing. Burn the neural paths in RIGHT NOW. And reap the rewards to come. My two cents on this: In the end, it doesn't really matter which way you chose on this one decision. I understand your quandry, truly - do you use up your willpower and resolve right now, or pace yourself for the long haul? There's pros and cons to both, so again , there really isn't a right answer. My suggestion is that whenever you DO decide to give in to the craving, try to acknowledge the decision, don't feel guilt, and then wholeheartedly PAY ATTENTION to the treat as you enjoy it. Being mindful of what you are doing helps you decide better next time if it was worth it or not. Moderation is so hard for some of us. And sometimes, it's just not going to be worth it to go off track, because we know how hard it will be to correct course after the indulgence. But we are also human beings, and we are going to enjoy the food we crave sometimes too, dammit! And that's a good thing. Anyways, I hope the Taco Bell was as good as you imagined! And also your soup sounds freaking delicious as well
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