Tehya

WOW.... It has been 11 days since I posted last. Well things aren't going so well for me. Still haven't found a place to live, still haven't figured out what I want to do about the whole boyfriendish person in my life, still haven't gotten out walking, have even fallen off tracking what I eat. I guess I am at a loss as to how to really do this. Guess I need to do some searching to figure that out. Anyone have any suggestions??? I could really use them and some encouraging words.

Now my problem is motivation. Suggestions on how to get motivated to start? I know mentally I have to but every time I say I am going to, something else seems more important or I just simply don't want to do it.

Okay so yesterday wasn't a good day on the logging of food front. I didn't do it because I simply didn't feel like doing it to be honest. Today isn't being much better I am actually already struggling. I am having a problem getting motivated to do any sort of working out. I need to figure this out. It hasn't really helped having a migraine the last 3 days. Luckily it is finally starting to go away. Maybe tomorrow before I go to work, I will get a 30 minute walk in around the complex where I am staying right now. And maybe tomorrow night I will print up the body weight workout plan so that I can follow it easier than. Just overall been a depressing couple of days lately. I need to figure out how to get out of this funk too. I got lots of work to do.

Okay so I am also using this as kinda a journal place too. But everything that I put here is actually helping me towards my goals. I just told my ex boyfriend and his son to get on their own cell phone plans as I need to cut back on my bills. Next step is to tell him that he needs to get the Chrysler out of my name. And if he wants the bike he needs to figure out how to get a loan for that and get it out of my name also. I am only going to keep paying for the couches and the truck, but then again I might just take the truck since he doesn't want it anymore. Okay enough here, now time to figure out the apartment/living situation, shower, and go find food before going to work later.

I have determined that I am going to do the next challenge. I think I even have my goals. Just not sure how good they are. 1) Walk 5 min MORE per day. At the end of the 4 weeks I should be at 140 minutes, roughly. 2) Complete the NF Bodyweight work out 3X per week. 3) Put $5 in a jar every day/ $35 per week. At the end of the week I should be at $140 saved.

Progress on Goals: Today was really hard for me. I have been fighting a headache - probably from having to much bread type products on Tuesday night - that I have been trying anything and everything to get rid of and nothing has. With that going on, I really didn't feel like trying to figure out food, so the person I am staying with and I went out to a buffet. Not the smartest choice but I needed food. However it is also really hard to enter how much of items I actually ate. I took my best guesses. Since I was at work, I didn't get to any work on a place to live. I also didn't figure out what I want to do about my boyfriend. He never really wants to do anything that I want to. If we do anything together, it literally has to be what he wants. I am getting really tired of it.

Even though I have a scale based goal, I don't have a scale easily accessible to me so its more like "Okay I've lost some weight, time to stop at a dr office for the use of the scale because my cloths are starting to fall off me." Type of judgement I am using. I drink water, juice, tea, and at work flavored tea. Once in a while coffee with sugar added but not often. Sleep - I let my body pretty much tell me how much and when I am going to sleep. Some days it works better than others. Long walks don't bother my feet as long as I have my insoles in my shoes - remember I'm on my feet 8 to 12 hours a day for work already. And YES it is kinda out of the question. I cooked a steak last night, and I didn't put water in a hot pan due to it causing it to warp. He just told me to do it because the pan won't warp. This is the same person who when we went out to eat last night - or tried to - he wanted to go to a pizza place knowing I can't do bread. With using myfitnesspal, I don't have to count anything. I just have to log in everything I eat. It forces me to actually read the labels for portioning sizes more also, so that way I like it. I can - if its processed - scan a bar code and enter how many portions I eat. Quick and simple. I think my support system - in all honesty - is going to come from NF.

Progress on goals: 1) Even though I just restarted this today, I have to say for the most part today was successful. I did a good job of eating healthy - well still involving the processed foods, but nothing fast food like. So that's a win for me. 2) Unfortunately I did not call around to see if there was any help out there for me in terms of finding an apartment so I will need to do the research on who to call about that over the weekend. 3) ugh -- this is the hardest one for me. If my boyfriend wants to stay with me than he needs to step it up with me. I also need to figure out if I want to stay with him because of how sexist he is. Well a lot more than that but those are two of the major things.

7 pages later and I didn't see anything with my suggestion so I hope it hasn't been said. Instead of having the oldest post listed first, maybe put the newest one there and have it go sequentially backwards?

I have looked into this several times. I know its a major life altering and not an "end game solution." However, when I have tried exercise, eating healthy, prescribed med, in the past and get to a point where I can not lose any more weight, I want to have a plan B in place. Right now my plan is to listen to all advice on here and try it all until nothing works OR I get to my goal. Some of what you said that I needed to focus on is part of what the myfitness app does for me. I already dread seeing how many calories I am eating a day, so planning them out in advance probably isn't the best idea for me, at least right now. I will look at the body weight workout that Steve has on here and I am going to work on going for 30 minute walks on a daily basis. Getting that much sleep is hard most of the time for me. My body decides - no matter how tired I am - that after a certain number of hours or at a certain time, I am going to wake up. My work schedule doesn't help much because there is no rhyme or reason to it. For example this week. I work 6 am to 4 pm on Friday, 5pm to 3am Saturday, 4pm to 2am Sunday and Monday, Noon to 10pm on Tuesday. Being homeless also kinda limits what food I have around me. It also limits what I eat. I can either eat out - which is what happens most of them time - eat what ever the person I am staying with is eating - doesn't do healthy - or ask if its okay for me to cook food.

I have never heard of the book. I will need to look into that.

Since there are so many nerds on here, I know someone has to know the answer to my question. I am trying to code a website for my daughter to display her photography, and I have the basic knowledge to do so, but I need to find a free spot to have it hosted(? - not sure if that is the correct term or not) Does anyone know of one?

I have always been the type of person so says "I got this" even when I have no clue as to how to do it or even start. I am not the type of person to ask for help - in an circumstance. Lately in life - like the last 3 years - I have really been needing to swallow my pride.... eh not quite the right word... stubbornness (there we go!) and have been asking for help with matters going on in my personal life. So now here I am, on this site AGAIN - I keep losing my way but keep coming back - trying to lose weight. Every time I come back I say "This time will be different. This time I am going to...." I can't do that any more. I have to make this time my final time. I have to stop looking at the end goal and getting frustrated that I am not getting there. I have to learn to nibble. I have come to realize that if I can't get my weight down by changing everything about me, then my next logical step will to be have surgery. I really don't want to go through that surgery alone, which is what it would be. That's a whole different thing I need to work on also. BUT anywho.... I am here in this thread to ask for help on the easiest ways to learn to change a diet and start exercising to lose weight. Simple most people say cut out the carbs, right? So no bread or pasta? lol I already have. It was a few years ago, the first time I joined this site actually, that I figured out - and I do mean I, not a doctor or any sort of medical testing - that I have a gluten intolerance. I can have one item per day that consists of anything with gluten or else 3 days later, I end up with a headache that lasts 3 days and nothing will touch. I have been tested for Celiac's but the test came back negative. I have no money for a gym membership or to buy weights of any sort so any time of workout has to be cardio or with body weight. So now the fun part - time to talk about me. Can't you hear the sarcasm in my writing? I am almost 41 - end of the month actually. I have pretty much .... no not pretty much, I have no one around me to support me on doing this so it will all be sure will power to get me to where I want to be. That's not something I am actually very good at so maybe someone can find it in their heart to help me accountable? I work in fast food - Not to ashamed to say that its not my dream job but I do love it. (Taco Bell) So I am around not really healthy food 5 days a week 10 hours per day. I have patella-femoral syndrome - something I call banana knee - in both knees. I have plantar fasciitis in both feet, but worse in my left one. I have had foot and knee surgeries. I most of my weight is carried around my stomach. I have "manly" legs because I have large thigh and calf muscles. (At one point I tried maxing out on a leg press and it was 400 pounds). ummmmmmmm .... yeah so that is me. Any one have thougths, suggestions, questions?

You think you got the best of me Think you had the last laugh Bet you think that everything good is gone Think you left me broken down Think that I'd come running back Baby you don't know me, 'cause you're dead wrong What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you makes a fighter Footsteps even lighter Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone I'm over that old person of me. I'm over those old habits. Time to be the strong woman everyone says I am. Time to start believing in myself. GOALS LONG Term Goals 1) Lose 80 pounds. That is going to bring me back down to my weight in high school and a weight I feel like I would look good at. Currently I am about 245. (I will try to take pictures and post later) 2) To get out of apartment living and get a house. I would love to try to accomplish this in the next 4 years, so by the time my youngest has graduated high school. 3) To start putting myself first. Right now, everything I do is without thinking about how I would feel. It is always about others. I mean that's not entirely a bad thing but when it ultimately adds more stress to my life it really is. SHORT Term Goals 1) By the end of 2018 I want to have started losing weight. Goal is 10 pounds. Yes I am going to attempt that even with the holidays coming up. 2) Before I can attempt to get out of apartment living, I need to get in to one as I am currently couch hopping/homeless. I have until the end of this month to have another spot to go. 3) I need to start learning how to say no. I know where I am at currently financially and its not a good spot so instead of saying yes I will buy whatever for the soon to be ex-boyfriend, I need to just start saying that I can't afford it, HOW TO ACCOMPLISH GOALS LONG Term Goals 1) Tracking my food intake thru myfitnesspal, realizing that no matter what set backs I might face I need to figure out how to work through or around them, get my butt exercising - even with it becoming cold outside. 2) Pay off stuff on my credit report, send the money as I can afford it, use taxes to help with larger chunks. 3) Think of where I want myself in the future, look at bigger pictures SHORT Term Goals 1) See above - I am just breaking my bigger goal down to make it more manageable . 2) Work with the local different counties for assistance, search craigslist for something I can afford, consider renting a room instead of full apartment until I can get something. 3) Get the stuff out of my name that isn't mine - IE the motorcycle, 1 car and truck, determine if I really want to keep both hulu and netflixs, just do some serious thinking and stop doing so much stuff spur of the moment to make someone else happy.

But I sure know where I've been Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time Here I go again, here I go again Tho' I keep searching for an answer I never seem to find what I'm looking for Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on 'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams ok so I am at this again. I am hoping yall will help with my accountability as thats ny majornl issue. Well along with motivation. I keep putting my health on the back burner, as I eat a reese peanut butter cup. lol. I need to get this in control. I am 40, almoat 41 - eek end of the month - qnd I am 75 pounds heavier than I was 20 years ago! I need help. I need accountability and encouragement. I need ideas on how to be successful. I just know O cant do this alone anymore.

Jan 4 Okay so now onto today. I had a great brunch with my boyfriend at Perkins. I tried to eat healthy - BUT it was very hard. Most of my daily calories were consumed with that meal. I still need to go get food so that I don't have to eat out all the time but I am consciously looking at the calories attached to each item I am thinking of eating. Still short on my steps. It was my day off so I should have made it so I am a bit frustrated. This is not how I wanted to start this out. Today was the first time since that start of the year for me to have any sort of bread and that was when I had my muffin this morning. Okay so I want to try to make sure that I am covering all of my goals while writing this battle log so I am going to post those again and answer them. How I am going to go about getting to where I want to be: I have no clue at this point. Cut out carbs from my diet. I answered this above. Find a workout plan that fits in to what I have available and schedule I need to work on this. I am struggling on where to look or how to start on this currently. Set an annoying notification for my fitness pal to remind me to log my food I got a new phone today so I need to do this. Come on here and keep up on a battle log Think I am doing okay with this currently. Find/buy a scale to weigh myself. Buy a tape measure to track my measurements since I know that the scale lies. Still haven't done this. Either one of these things. I think that pretty much sums up today.

Jan 3 WOW I forgot to journal yesterday. Ummmmm lets see. Work was a lot less stressful because we were fully staffed for a change over lunch. Well mostly fully staffed. Still struggling with eating. I am keeping track of what I am eating but I am still going over on the 1400 to 1900 calories that I have set for a daily goal. I also am not meeting my goal of 10K steps but am consistently getting over 6k. I still need to figure out a workout routine that I can do.

Thank you FireandLight. I looked at the planning worksheet and got overwhelmed. LOL. Maybe I am just to tired to do it right now. Maybe I am even overwhelmed with how to do the worksheet.

Day 2 January 2nd - much better today. I still didn't get a chance to eat all day so finally when I got off work, I was starving and didn't make the best food choices. Time to let the cat out of the bag - I currently work at Taco Bell so dinner consisted of a Nacho Bell Grande and a Power Chicken bowl - both with extra meat. I did do better with the amount of walking I did today. I guess I was more tired than I thought also because I passed out while writing this last night. Over all yesterday was a good day. The whole no pop thing is getting easier and easier. Doing the journalling is getting easier and easier. Just needed to get money to make the eating healthy easier also. I didn't get any of the goals I set for the previous night completed, which is honestly a little frustrating but I might be getting my sights a little high, so I am just going to be happy with what I have done. Just wish I had some more encouragement/accountability to stick with everything because going at it alone is VERY hard but I am use to going at it alone so somehow I will manage.

Day 1 okay so here it is January 1st and I have started trying to better myself yet again. OMG is this frustrating. I have been trying to do really good today on watching what I eat and drink, but here it is 8:35pm and I am STARVING. I have learned today - again - that I need to make sure that I am planning out what I need to eat on a daily basis. I keep looking around my room looking for something to eat. Positive thing is that I really don't have anything in here to eat. But at the same time that is just making me even hungrier. UGH! LOL So even though I am still starving, I think today has been a good day. I haven't had any pop/soda, I have recorded everything that I have eaten, and I am journalling about my day. Well I haven't gotten into my day yet but I am going to because it is super easy. Work today SUCKED!!! You would figure that fast food would be slow on a holiday - which if we were staffed, it would have been, BUT there were only 3 people there today including myself over our lunch rush, which REALLY sucked!!!! The person who was doing all of the drive thru and front counter stuff is a 17 year old kid who has some sort of mental thing going on because he is always doing the "potty dance" but never really has to go. He is also a bit of a flake so it was basically just myself and the other person who was making food. Goals for the rest of the night: Working on my resume - goal is to find a new job by the end of this year. Work on finding exercises/workout plan I can follow here at home.

Okay so here I am yet again..... for the third time. I need to be brutally honest with myself - I just have not been trying the last 2 years. I want to take the easy way out by getting surgery. Background on who I am: I am a single mom. I have 2 teenage daughters - one is almost an adult now, the other is fully in puberty. I have what can be a very stressful job in fast good that I am really beginning to hate. I have a boyfriend that I love dearly, but makes me feel like an afterthought at times. I suffer from depression. I am currently homeless but am living with my ex husband and father in law. I am back to where I was when I first tried this 2 years ago. Background on where I want to go in 2018: I want to get back in the habit of eating 90% Paleo - I can't afford to go 100% I want to get in the habit of working out - other than walking while at work - at least 3 days per week I want to get back in the habit of tracking everything I consume I want to get in the habit of journalling daily about my daily success, failures, stresses I want to work on losing weight - ultimately I need to lose 100 pounds. But I will take losing 20 pounds this year and keeping that weight off. How I am going to go about getting to where I want to be: I have no clue at this point. Cut out carbs from my diet. Find a workout plan that fits in to what I have available and schedule Set an annoying notification for my fitness pal to remind me to log my food Come on here and keep up on a battle log Find/buy a scale to weigh myself. Buy a tape measure to track my measurements since I know that the scale lies. Why I failed in the past: I have not been trying. I gave up. I was lazy. There you go. Me in a nutshell. Now to just let the past go and start the year fresh.

I need help coming up with a workout plan. It has to be something that I can do at home. But here is the issue - I am currently homeless. I am staying at someone's house... well my ex-husband and ex-father-in-law's house so I really don't have access to anything other than my own body weight. I don't have a lot of time either since I work 50 hours a week and have an hour drive each day I work, plus I currently bring my youngest daughter to school 5 days a week. I have arthritis and patella femoral syndrome in both knees along with plantar factitious.

Job Nothing has been done here. I need to see if I can find my resume on line so that I don't have to try to recreate the whole thing. Relationship Last night Bubba told me that I need to figure out if I want him or not since I flirt with him. I agree. So I need to spend time thinking about that. Physical Diet: Doing good with logging food. The link is in my signature if you want to look at it. Fitness: Still trying to figure out how I should reach out for help with this. Leveling up: Money will start Thursday, UNLESS I have some left before then. And then that will be set aside. I need to figure out how to do meditation still. Personality Uh.... Not sure how I am doing in the area. I think I have been doing okay. Spiritual I have found 2 different sites: http://www.freebiblestudyguides.org/ http://biblestudylessons.com/ Anyone has any suggestions, idea's thoughts, encouragement???

It's been a while since I reflected on anything. I have ... I guess... been avoiding it. My best friend and I got into a fight over him calling me a no one. He's going through a dark time in his life and we were talking one night when he said that no one cared about him or really tried to make him happy ever. I have done everything I can to make him happy. It really hurt that he said I was a no one to him. But time to get back to focusing on me and making me a better me. Job I found out earlier this week that I have my management orientation coming up - on the 19th actually. Only bad part is that I have to give someone else a ride there AND that it is a 55 minute drive with picking him up without traffic. Not looking forward to this now. SIGH.. OH and my boyfriend is trying to convince me to come back to Wendy's. Not sure if I want to go there again or not. I haven't worked on updating my resume, so I haven't placed it anywhere nor have I really looked online for a new job. Relationship I am still really confused by Sixx and Bubba. Sixx and I haven't had a chance to sit down and really talk. We were going to do it this week, but he ended up having to work because another manager decided to call in sick. Every time I talk to Bubba, he keeps asking me when we are going to get together. He keeps having a sexual innuendo to our conversation. Physical Diet: Proud of myself for not really eating at Taco Bell yesterday. I had the new Loaded Taco Burrito and a crunchy taco for lunch and dinner. Breakfast was McDonald's - 2 sides of eggs, 1 sausage patty and the fruit and maple oatmeal. Oh and a Caramel Iced Coffee. But I did track all of this on the MyFitnessPal app. I am actually doing okay with tracking food on there now. Fitness: I haven't done any kind of work out other than just the walking that I have been doing while working. I need to figure out how I am going to be doing the work out since I don't have any cans or even the milk jugs. Maybe I should try to get in contact with Steve and see if he can help me or else get on the forums with coming up with a workout. I think I will do the ladder of the two options. Leveling up: I haven't had any money to put aside. I get paid on Thursday and will start on that day. I will actually put the money away in advance for the 2 weeks. I have also realized that I have no clue on how to do meditation. Guess that is something else that I need to research. Personality Uh.... Not sure how I am doing in the area. I think I have been doing okay. Spiritual Sigh - nothing has been done here either. I guess I have a lot of research to look at. I need to find a good online bible study group and guide online. I also need to make sure I have my bible out so that I remember to spend time studying and reflecting on it daily. Ooops... I forgot to post this yesterday.