Recently my SO informed me that my beloved LL Bean tropic-weight cargo pants are nearing the do-not-wear-those-out-of-the-house-and-I-honestly-wish-you-would-burn-those stage of the clothing cycle. Now, these pants are my off-hours, go-to pants from about May to October when the weather gets too warm for denim. They're light-weight, but durable. Backyard cook-outs, casual dinners out, errands, hikes, I live in these things. I can't emphasize how important these pants are.
So, to avoid living in sweat-soaked dungarees for 4 months out of a year I went online to order another pair. To my shock, horror, dismay, and distress, LL Bean no longer manufactures these pants in a 32" waist with a 36" inseam. In fact, all LL Bean seems to manufacture in a 36 inseams are one model of jeans and two models of chinos. While I'm not necessarily against the idea of hiking trails in chinos, I'm pretty sure they won't stand up to that kind of abuse for very long. The local stores don't carry anything in my size. So I went to the Internet...and promptly struck out.
I checked Jack Wolfskin, Carhartt, Outlier, Eddie Bauer, Amazon, Vintage 1946, Arcteryx, Propper, 5.11 Tactical, REI, Duluth Trading Company, Land's End, Columbia, Mountain Khaki, Mountain Hardware, Reddit archives, open posts on fashion blogs, and Google-dorking. I just can't find anything good in my size. Assuming a company even makes something in a 36 inseam, which most of them don't, it either 1) starts at a 34" waist, 2) doesn't look durable enough for anything other than a board meeting, 3) is convertible (a good idea that is universally poorly executed), or 4) are stretch pants that tend to be falling off of me by the end of a long day.
5.11 Tactical does have limited offerings in a 32x36 but they all have that distinct I'm-an-off-duty-undercover-federal-agent look to them. I've hiked in areas where running into either illegal immigrants or drug runners is a distinct possibility and I'd prefer not to be mistaken for an ICE or DEA agent and shot on sight. Also, not the most subtle thing to be wearing around town. Duluth Trading Company has some work pants in a 32x36 but they look almost as heavy as denim, at which point I might as just wear jeans. REI has prAna Stretch Zion Pants, but according to the reviews, they don't breathe well and tend to hug you like skinny jeans.
So this is the point where I ask you, the reader, for help. I need pants that meet the following criteria:
32"x36" (US sizing)
Suitable for strolling around outside in 85-degree-farenheit or higher temperatures.
Durable enough to withstand moderately strenuous hiking. I won't be free-scaling cliff faces in them, but I'd prefer not to have the seat or the crotch blow out if I decide to hop a stream or a ditch. d) Have a little mobility to them. Slim or slender cut is fine, but if they fit like skinny jeans, I'm out.
Versatile enough for multiple situations. Yeah, I know hiking pants can't replace khakis or chinos, but I'd rather they not scream "LOOK I'M AN AMERICAN TOURIST!" whenever I visit a foreign country.
And don't recommend shorts. If I wanted shorts, I'd buy shorts.
How about it, NF? Anything tall guys out there got anything out there or am I doomed to a life of high-water summertime britches?