pr0ginoskes

ahhh that looks awesome! i like tedtalks :3 i will watch it when i get back. i'm going on a 4 day vacation and i shoulda done this last night so i gotta be quick. oh and wonder woman is pretty cool

oh my goodness you have the most wholesome diet! do you get a lot of foods from your garden? ima have to try your curry recipe from day 6, sounds friggin delicious

never liked rooibos! oh my! i just discovered it myself, the tea i've been drinking is celestial seasoning's pomegranate rooibos, and it's extra tasty with honey. i add lemon to most everything because while it's acidic outside the body, it turns super alkaline inside the body, which is good. and meyer lemons too, you could eat them by themselves they are so sweet. oh and thank you by the way! i will keep going! and you too! also i woke up early yesterday! yayayayay for that. i felt super good all day. my boyfriend commented on how i've been unusually calm and happy this week. so whatever is happening is good, i think, even if it's slow, it's sure. i slept through my alarm today but it's okay because it was snowing. also last night i went to this talk given by gene luen yang, the guy who illustrated the avatar: the last airbender graphic novels. he was really nice. i learned a lot too. he said to keep drawing so i suppose i must. :33 also lentils for breakfast and french fries for dinner, lol. i seem to crave a lot of salty foods. i had a very sensible breakfast today though.

food log. i notice i have been eating a bit less, perhaps because i'm aware i hafta record it. still did not write large enough. so many things to work on. yesterdays post was embarrassing. it had to be done. i did not wake up and exercise, but i did wake up early so it won't be so shocking tomorrow. just need to remember to lay out my warm clothes cause my brain is frozen-mode when i wake up early.

man i love yoga. i bet you feel so good after a half hour. i've only done it a few times but it was really nice. also living where you can ski sounds so fun.

my food log for two & three days ago. i will post todays and yesterdays, tomorrow. i was going to post every two days but i was sick yesterday. perhaps the thousand calories of alcohol (i found that rather shocking, upon calculation) had something to do with it. :ppp yes most definitely. it's very unusual for me to drink much, but there were many factors at play i suppose. or just an ongoing strange coincidence, with which i was unprepared to coexist soberly. the thing is, and perhaps this is because of the meditation, even while my head spun stupidly while i chundered violently over the toilet, a part of mind remained quite aware that i was being very silly, and that i do know better. i knew i would fall apart if this certain thing happened, and i suppose it happened, and even though everything turned out okay, i could not resist falling apart, because my imagination is always stronger than my will. and i am working so hard, trying to will myself to do all these things, but somewhere inside i am feeling like i already failed, and that it's a waste of time. it's so subtle and automatic it almost slips by unnoticed. the only way i've found to combat it is to always be repeating something better to myself. just as often as i would be repeating bad things to myself in the past. i used to set aside time to think about it and then go back to whatever but this past week in particular i realized that it works much better to "pray without ceasing," as it goes. if i am always thankful, happy and grateful to be alive, then nothing will shake me. i feel so unnerved by my behavior two nights ago, it made me realize i have a ways to go before i am really centered and stable in myself, but also that it woulid be unwise to put it off longer. since i failed to get up early three days this week, i'm not going to add it to next week because i will feel overwhelmed i think. i've done it three times exactly in the past so i'll say it's okay. but next week, if i do fail to get up four out of seven days, i will have to do something i don't like to do. but should to. the first thing on my list is to call the student loan people and 'talk about my loan' so yeah i'm pretty much motivated for the rest of the week. but i have meditated/prayed/stretched every day :3 and it feels fantastic. i will have to go dance now while everybody's out of the house for the moment. oh and i'm glad you guys like the log!! i will try to write larger and more clearly! they are a bit messy. i'm happy i did them though. :] also i've never read madeline's non-fiction. i will see if the library has some though, because that book you mentioned sounds really good. i've never read the chronos series either, just the fantastical ones. i tried to read them when i was younger and just couldn't get into them. but i know i would like them now. eta: don't meant to sound so negative about the student loan people, i know they are just doing their job and stuff, it's just stressful.

it's so hard to limit tea intake. i feel like i'm missing something when i'm not sipping on tea. haha. anyways i really like your goal of minimalism. i hold onto a lot of clothes because i like to cut them up and remake them, but i don't do it nearly enough to justify my mess. i feel bad throwing anything away so i know how you feel. it's an ongoing battle. anyways you sound like you're doing well :] yay for that

it sounds like you live in a beautiful place. i'm glad you are med-free too, always good to feel your body healing itself. and these are the happiest goals, your food choices sound yummy and going outside is always a good idea. it has been very cold outside though. soon enough though! it will be more pleasant out.

my food log for the past 2 days ^ yeah i ate spicy lentils for breakfast, that's kind of weird. i have a tendency to wake up feeling ravenous. the best way to combat that, i've found, is to wake up early and take a walk, drinking water and munching a spoonful of peanut butter beforehand (which quells my tummy), then come back and make breakfast. i have not done the waking up early yet, so i'll have to wake up friday/saturday/sunday to fulfill the three times a week thing. i think it will work out okay because the early morning is the only time i have to myself on those days, so i absolutely have to be up early if i intend to meditate, pray, stretch, exercise, and dance party for those 3 days. not looking good on the birth certificate, but maybe i can get a copy from the place i used to work. i don't even know if that's possible but the resources lady was really nice, so we'll see. i'm not above bribery :3 perhaps i will bring her a muffin, i dunno, i just need that dang sheet of paper other than that, i've fulfilled my requirements for 2/26 to 2/28, and that makes me feel good. i must say my head is extra clear; i don't think i've ever meditated three days in a row before. it's a good sensation. yes yes yes indeed i adore those books.

hooray for tarot! i like your one card a day idea. i tried that for a while, and it was pretty telling. i stopped because i felt i had too much to focus on already, but it really is an excellent way to view the inside of your head. and hoorah for veggies as well! also i have to pee all the time, but i think it's better to err on the side of over hydration than not. at least i hope haha.

this is quite masterfully organized! it's fantastic that you have more energy and feel better, as well as inspiring to see that's someone's hard work is turning out so fruitfully. do feel better after your operation.

thank you for the welcome! i am determined that the next few weeks go swimmingly. i did join the mini-challenge, that was a really good idea haha, and very applicable. you're absolutely right, i have nothing to lose being friendly to people. i usually try to say hello to everyone but it's really quick, and then i don't know what to day. i think the next step is saying it emphatically, like i really mean it; not that i don't mean it now, but it doesn't seem like it if halfheartedly uttered. i will be very vigilant in being friendly and not afraid. it is unlikely that i will upset anyone asking them how they are. oh and thank you, i forgot to do so. i shall fix that now

ahhh this is brilliant it's disturbing how many socks have disappeared into the void of my room. echoing from above; there is a big chunk of carpet i need to find in my bedroom haha. i really do need to locate my birth certificate, i have a pile of papers i'm hoping it's lurking amidst. and i guess it's time to bring out warmer clothes, so i have to find those; and since i need more space in my room, i need to find the will to let go of unneeded stuff. i'm also hoping to find random forgotten dollars in pockets, so i can go get some fizzy juice or something.

fitness goals: 1. the first one is simple; meditate, pray, and stretch, five minutes each minimum, at least once a day. it greatly improves my quality of life when i bother to do it; i am just very sporadic about it currently. would love to see what would happen when i finally begin to practice diligently. i suppose i am about to find out. :3 2. not eat my emotions and, when i eat, slow down, think about what i am eating, savor and appreciate it. as well as, pick good food so it will be more enjoyable. i'm a fairly healthy muncher but i still eat waaay too much, even when i'm full, especially pasta and stuff that's not too good. i will, however, drink water, lots of water, and tea with fresh lemons too, because it's yummy. i loathe the idea of keeping a food log, i am on the fence about it because i have a tendency to obsession, on the other hand having a clearer picture of the issues at hand is probably necessary. if i do keep one, i think i will draw little talking doodles of all my food or else it might get depressing. 3. get up early, before the sun comes up, and take a walk/run around the park. lap it twice. walk back home and sit on the hill, watch the sunrise. then do whatever, but at some point, i have to let loose for a few minutes during the day. i am going to turn on some music, probably the chemical brothers or pendulum or something, and dance around to it, with wild abandon. i've been doing that lately and it's making me quite happy. i think it's a good way to get my body in shape before i start anything too intense. slowly but surely i will dance to more and more songs in succession. anyways i will wake up early at least three days this week, then add a day every week after that. i know if i start off saying i'll do it every day i will get frustrated when i fail. but when i do it a little at a time, i can sneak in so many more good habits than otherwise. life goal: i need a job. there is job fair in town in a month hiring for a place i really would like to work at. between now and then i need to learn how at least pretend to be a bit more outgoing, because i mumble really bad, look down at my feet when i talk, etc., and i really don't want that to be the reason i do not get hired. and find my birth certificate! i think that the above goals will very much contribute to my confidence levels because a lot of my inwardness stems from feeling awkward in my skin. i quit my old job because it was stressing me out quite badly. i needed time to detach from the world so i could see what was really wrong. i feel that i am stable enough that i can go back to work and not be overwhelmed by it. for me, exercise is a big part of that, because it'll be the first thing i really am pushing myself to do, and healthy eating too. until now i've just sort of been an amateur in a grown-up body, and this is the first time i have really been taking charge of my life rather than the other way around. my weight is 120.4, i'm not really concerned with the number so much as the content of it. i am a very lazy body/mind/spirit conjunction right now. okay so the plan: get up early, exercise, meditate/pray/stretch, and get my wiggles out later on in the day with techno & a hula hoop. be mindful of what i am eating and why, and record my findings. if/when i do mess up, don't get upset and throw in the towel, just keep on keepin on the next day. oh and update every other day or so about my success/fails. it's a lot but it's doable. and maybe clean off that desk in the background there. e.t.a. attribute points: STR + 2 (creating daily fitness basis) DEX + 2 (hula & dance skillz) STA + 3 (waking up early to exercise, stretching) CON + 2 (healthier eating) WIS + 2 (meditation & prayer, food diary) CHA + 4 (new job, confidence)

ahh free resources are the best. the beginner workout looks perfect for my starting point, i'm glad to have somewhere to begin. thank you!