Terinatum

That was a Flop! haha I am managing to slow myself down in regards to harsh judgments, big expectations, and slightly less screen time. I'm also sleeping more per night (still off cycle but getting there). I wander around my goals with food but haven't stepped into anything firm yet. Ah well. Water is a roller coaster; Outside has been yes, but not consistently; PT is in my daydreams and planning mind only; and Household Chores brings in first place with several days of cleaning and even with some follow-thru. Yay, I guess. Not sure what's next for me. Maybe Battle Log vs Challenge? Not sure. Cheers!

Another slap down from my Brain. ... I can't remember my present dreams, but they are pretty vivid and realistic when I'm in them. {I wonder what happens when I'm not in my dream?}... Anyhow. I climbed back up Wed, had a good day yesterday, and today I'm tripping up to the beat of an old worn-out drum: that old belief that nothing will get better without being saved (paid back) by those that broke me. So I sit here waiting for the 30th day of February to show up and fix everything. It's not as though I don't deserve the back pay. I just have such a hard time convincing my brain it's not gonna happen AND it's not what I actually want. I want to expend energy to make myself healthier and happier. I want to enjoy hard work instead of treating it like a 4-letter word.

Sounds like a plan! 🖐️💢🖐️

Hey CK, Glad the run went fairly well. I can't imagine running in this heat, even back when I ran a lot! I hope you are doing well back home and enjoying yourself and the family. Lots of virtual hugs! Cheers

I'm glad you can say this. It's really important to state what happened and keep moving. Well done, WG!

Made me chuckle! I like it. Great pics too!

Thursday 8/4 Water: 4 cups Outside: no (I emptied my dehumidifier 4 times !) H. Chore: yes! T-shirt, bra, and fleece hand cleaning PT: no Reduce Streaming: no (maybe 20 minutes worth) Friday 8/5 Not going to be easy, but it will get easier as long as I'm putting real effort into this. Water: 6.25 cups Outside: no H. Chore: no PT: no Reduce Streaming: yes! I did puzzles instead and some time just sitting with my thoughts. About 2 hours off my streaming time, I think.

Hi All, I've been hiding from reality and waiting for all these days to become my past. I get my dopamine hits from shows and games, and eat proper crap that leads me to those effective sugar crashes and lethargy excuses to do nothing. These are well-rehearsed tools I have used for decades. The last 5 years, I've been using them fairly exclusively. Letting go of them is hard AF. My body can't take much more of this. My heart wants so much more for myself. I'm the only one in my way now. It's time to stop hiding. Goals: Water - 6 cups per day (80%) Outside - everyday for more than just the walk to the store (80%) Reduce Streaming - chop off an hour a day of shows (80%), add 1/2 hour chunks to this goal each week. Household Work - one thing per day (80%) PT - one exercise per day (80%) Thanks for stopping by and cheering me on! Love you NFers.

Well, that was interesting! Okay, not so much but it was truly important. First solid cry of the year. Complete! Truer acknowledgment of fearful behaviors. Check! Wanting more than just treading water. True! Goals: MOVE: I know it's hot and really humid, but it's gotta be done. READ/WRITE: Cogitate on emotional breaking from the fantasy of perfection. WATER: YYESSS!!! ENJOYMENT: Please. Remember the good moments and write them here. No discounting the little things either! NF ACTIVITY: try to stay connected here more to help see me through the whole challenge. For your bouncing enjoyment!

Sorry for the disappearance. My week started with a sour stomach that wouldn't let up. That has passed but my bad behaviors are still causing me troubles. I want to get back to no soda and no candy bars again. I have new running sneakers coming this week so I'm psyched about that. I really wanna run again, even if it's jogging/walking. I can't do that in my current sneakers as they don't have ankle support. After my hike the other day, it became quite apparent. I also have to reconsider how much I share my vehicle as it limits when I can jump in the car and go swimming at any given moment. Not sure what to do as I committed to sharing it. K needs to settle into her new workplace and then we'll see. Challenge is a bust but, I'll be keeping my challenges going as they help more than hinder me! Thanks, Nerds!

Right back atcha! My drawing date had to cancel, I had to cancel my swim date due to intestinal distress, and then I got stuck in anime. But I turned on some ELO (Time album first and then the Best of Album) and sang and even danced in my living room until I had a good sweat going! Yay, me. Still need to figure some steps to take with eating at home, but so far not feeling overwhelmed about it. 😁

Rough week of rebellion but playing for the unhealthy side! But I'm better again and working in the direction I want. Yesterday, I went for a hike with B, and swimming too. It was my belated birthday present. I was wicked sore after, but happy. The fresh air was magnificent. Slept like crap b/c my feet and legs were so messed up! lol Today, I took a walk just now to keep my legs warm and used. Need to get to healthy eating experiments! Cheers!

Rest well, my Dear!

Yeah, I'm kinda here. Thanks CK. RANT-ish check-in I spent Saturday with K&B (former partner, still my person and our nephew who we brought up since he was 12 (now 30... not gonna write it down!). We went to his place, sat outside, went out to eat, bought some Japanese curry cubes, we drove home, I walked the parking lot as she went to the pet store, and came home and napped! Sunday was lunch outside but no real walk, only water but not enough, too much candy, and no chores that I had planned for. Couldn't sleep until 6 am Monday morning. Monday was hard. Got up at 1 pm, stayed in bed playing on phone until 3. Took care of cat, tried to stay away from store/candy and got lost in anime and puzzles. Went with K to do some grocery shopping for real-ish foods, helped her water some friends outside plants (included steep stairs out back (1 1/2 flights I reckon), then got home and drank a bunch of water and took a 3 lb weight out to the living room with me to work on my wrist strength which was miserable. watch anime until now. I really am scared of reaching for what I want which is to be healthy. I had it for awhile when I was here (@NF) last, but I lost it and it's been years of a sedentary life, trying to escape/deal with the surprise recovered memory trauma. I had surviving cancer as a push to get into shape back then, but now finding my drive and excitement for health is tough and inconsistent as fuck. All that said, I am only going to therapy once/month which is a great improvement that shows I can handle the work more independently so I'm getting there but DAMN it's slow! 🙄😣 I will make it, but I got no clue when or how at this point! HAHA I'm just gonna keep trying shit and see what happens I guess. Glad you are here and that I'm here too. Later!

This sounds yummy. Glad you're doing all that cooking!