Vintage

It sounds like you've made significant progress on the mental/emotional side. Good for you. It's possible for you to get much stronger and lift big weights. One of my coaches has a 215lb back squat at 110lbs bodyweight - not quite twice, but pretty damn close. But she eats to support her lifting and is actually making effort to gain some weight. The reality is, to get bigger you have to eat more. Consume more calories than you burn and your body will get bigger. If you do this while sedentary, you'll put on fat. Do it while strength training and it will be mostly muscle. Have you seen a dietitian at all? My normal recomendation for someone without an eating disorder would be to track everything you eat so you know how many calories you're getting and what your carb/protein/fat split is, and then slowly increase calories (while lifting heavy) until you start seeing results. BUT tracking calories can be a real trigger for people with disordered eating habits, so I'm reluctant to suggest that. A dietitian would be able to give you a specific meal plan to follow.

I actually really like mine, and will most likely buy a second pair soon. I had to switch to the smaller size of rubber thingies, but they stay in my ear really really well (a miracle). They've not noise canceling, but I wasn't looking for that. I will say that they tangle easily like any thing rubber corded earphones do. My last pair from a different brand wouldn't stay in my ears as well but had a cloth wrapped cord that didn't tangle nearly as easily. If I could meld the to brands together I'd be set.

For the sleep... how heavy are you? Have you been checked for sleep apnea?

I take all mine off, unless I have small earrings on. But that's mainly because they get in the way - I don't like the feel of my earrings bouncing around, gripping a barbell or a pull up bar with my rings on is uncomfortable, necklaces dig into my neck when I have a bar in front rack, etc. But other people leave some things on and I don't really notice it. It's the same with makeup - I take mine off because I sweat like a faucet and it ends up all over the place. But women who don't sweat much don't have to bother. Ok, sometimes I notice, but that's usually because the woman is ridiculously made up AND doing very little actual work. Same with the jewelry, really. I was thinking about something similar with hair today. I see women who workout with medium-length hair down or hair pulled back very loosely so it still hangs on the neck and I absolutely can't stand that (on me). My hair has to be completely up, little bits clipped back, and if it's long enough to hit my neck in a ponytail then I put it in a bun. To each their own.

Have you seen a doctor about this? If not, that might be a good idea. Other things to consider are your diet (are you eating enough of the right stuff?) and your sleep. How do those things look?

I prefer to do any significant conditioning after my strength training. I warm-up, but it's mainly about getting my heart rate up a bit, warming up my muscles and moving through all my working motions without much weight. Then before each lift I do a few warm-up sets at increasing weights, focusing on form and range of motion. After I lift, I do my conditioning, which may range from 5-20 minutes. This general format fits with the crossfit workouts I do on other days. Some people prefer to separate out conditioning and strength into separate days. If I go too hard in warm-up (I've had to learn this the hard way), my lifting suffers. But hey- try it and see. I don't know what sort of shape you're in so what you wrote out might be enough to exhaust you or it might be a true warm-up. Run through it and then try a few sets and see how they feel. Don't like it? Flip it around and see how that works. Still don't like it? Split them into separate days if possible.

Yep- inverted rows are easily scaled by walking your feet in further under the bar/rings. In fact, this is a lot easier with rings (I bet it would be easier with a bar suspended from rings trapeze-style as well), but it can be done on a normal bar. Just focus on keeping your body tight and straight (no bend at the hips) and your shoulder blades pinched back the whole time. Really try to keep those lats activated. As you get better at it, walk those feet a little farther forward. And the negatives thing works as well. Start at the top and lower yourself slowly for a count of 5, keeping everything tight. I started out extremely deconditioned and 70 lbs overweight (I'm a short girl, so this was a lot on me) and that's what I did until I was ready to get on the pull-up bar for negatives and assisted reps.

Acryllica and everyone else who's posted have given some great advice and words of wisdom. I've got a long history of eating disorders and of depression, so I know that moment well. One of the best things for me was discovering weight training because it gave me something to do with my body that wasn't all about making myself less fat. It gave me a reason to get stronger/tougher/better with technique. I started appreciating what my body could do and making food choices based around what would help me perform better in the gym. I sort of treated weight-loss as a pleasant side-effect. When I have those "I'm a jiggly, massive, disgusting mess of a human" moments now (which is less often) I sometimes flex my muscles and poke at them, reminding myself of what I'm capable of and how much progress I've made. It may not be weight lifting for you, but finding something to do with your body and goals to work towards that aren't all about getting rid of the bits of you you don't like is hugely motivating and can help you get through those low moments. I like this article because it puts this idea into words well (words of a male trainer, no less). Some of my favorite bits...

I think there are a lot of great ideas here about what to do for weights. But I'm honestly going to suggest you bite the bullet and go join the gym now. Having a mentality of "I need everything to be perfect - the perfect weights, a gym environment that never changes, etc - for me to get fit" isn't particularly conducive to long-term success, and I see hints of that mindset in your post (though I could be off-base). A lot of people get off track or never really start because they're too busy trying to make everything into the ideal conditions and waiting for a time in life when it will be easier to start or because something comes up in life that makes working out or eating healthy inconvenient. My advice is to shake yourself out of this mindset a bit, and this may mean joining the gym knowing you're going to have to move to a new location or it may mean starting a routine with weights that aren't ideal (cheap ones or homemade ones using gallon jugs or a full back pack). And then when something unexpected comes up in life that makes it a little more challenging to workout (or eat healthily or whatever) you say to yourself "so what? I've dealt with change and inconsistency and non-ideal conditions before and I'll do it again because my health is the priority."

The whole starvation mode is controversial at best. My larger concern would be that you're making long-term, sustainable changes. I've got a history of disordered eating as well, and I have a tendency towards extremes. But last fall I set out to lose about 70 lbs (I'm 55 lbs in) and one thing that I think made me successful was that I made my changes with a "could I do this for the rest of my life and be ok with it?" standard in my mind. I had to accept that I had a lot of weight to lose and it was going to take time. So my advice would be that you don't necessarily need to force yourself to eat, but keep in mind that you could eat a good deal more than you are and still lose weight. So if you start seeing signs that you need more food, listen. And if you eat extra, don't let guilt or an out-of-control feeling set in as they tend to lead to binges.

I'd be up for that! Thursday night or Saturday would both work.

I'm a 32F, so sports bras are hard to find for me. I've been really happy with the Panache "Ultimate Maximum Control Sports Bra" (seriously.. that's a hell of a name). It's pricey, but I've shrunk out of every size I've owned long before it wore out, despite wearing them 4-5 times per week. It's got an underwire, but it's well wrapped to make it comfortable, and it separates the boobs instead of smooshing them together.

My rheumatoid arthritis can cause similar problems for me. My joints (particularly my hands/fingers and feet) will start hurting and sending my brain stop that right now! signals long before my muscles give out. It's incredibly frustrating. I was doing weighted step-ups the other day and had to do my last set without dumbbells because my hands hurt trying to grip them, not because I wasn't strong enough in my quads to do the exercise. For the most part this is a mental barrier - I'm not actually doing any damage to the parts that are hurting by pushing through, but it's unbelievably difficult to keep going when I'm in that much pain. Sometimes I let the frustration take over and get depressed and discouraged. But other times I do a good job of reminding myself that it is what it is and I should be proud of myself for everything I've accomplished. The upside is you're working on this and it will get better. This is temporary. Oh, and there's no shame in putting something soft under your knees for push-ups or under your forearms for planks.

Sneakyfatguy - unfortunately, I didn't think about video until after I left. Next time we high bar I'll try to get one. I lift barefoot, in general, so no lifting shoes. I think you're right on one of those guesses - I may lean too far forward, and then extend my lumbar spine to compensate. I don't know why it's never been a problem on low bar. And that feeds into... El Exorcisto, I always forget about the muscles on my front side affecting my back and hips. I'll get to the gym early on Monday and spend some time torturing myself by working those out. I also have low-level sciatic pain and I forget that the psoas and stomach/pelvic muscles can affect that. Maybe I can address a chronic issue and an acute one at the same time. Thanks to you both.

I'm one of those people that naturally low-bar squats. When my coach had me put an empty bar on my back and squat, I naturally put the bar low, my feet a little wide, hips way back and it felt right. I do crossfit (but the kind with very thought out programming), and we've been working on a high bar squat progression the past few weeks (both to work the slightly different muscle emphasis and also because we also oly lift, which more closely mimics a high bar squat)... and it hurts my back. My 1RM is normally 195lbs (I'm a 5'2", 150 lb female). I've worked up to sets of 8 at 105 in high bar, but I'm feeling a weird pain in my lower back, right at the lumbar curve. It feels muscular, and a combination of tight and painful. It's not severe, and doesn't really feel injury-like exactly. Has anyone ever had this happen? I feel like it's a little backward - most people find high bar easier on their back. My coach was watching my form when I mentioned the problem, and couldn't see anything major except me raising my hips first on my last few reps to recruit more quads as I got fatigued. We're going to take another look later this week, but I was wondering if anyone had any ideas.

I used bands (and still do in some workouts, because I can only do 2 pull ups in a row so far), but I also did a lot of negatives and ring rows. I don't think they're useless but I don't think they'll get you there all by themselves. The thing about bands is they provide more resistance at the bottom (where you might not need as much) and less at the top (when you're struggling). See if your trainer will try to do partner-assisted ones with you by pushing up on one or both of your knees. That way they can give you more help as you're starting to struggle. Just make sure not to kick them in the face

I'd agree except OP's major goal right now is to train for a marathon. The program needs to fit the individual's goals and what they enjoy. Marathon training does require running some long distances. I love lifting, but maybe you need to hold off on that. I totally understand the "do everything!" mentality, but at this point I don't think you have the time or physical resources (energy & the ability to recover being vital) for lifting to do much good. What if you tried taking out one of your runs in the week and replaced it with sprint intervals? They're absolutely killer on the legs and core muscles and they'll give you some anaerobic training. The running forum might be able to give you some specific advice on how to work sprint intervals into marathon training and on the foot pain.

That's bad news. I'm sorry to hear that. I think your first stop for this question needs to be a doctor and/or physiotherapist, though. This falls into the realm of medical advice, and no one on here can give you that.

Ok, I try to avoid pitching crossfit, but since you did mention it... if you've got the money and can find a good crossfit box around you, it might be a good place to start out. It can offer an opportunity to learn a lot of different types of training and experiment a bit. I never thought about barbells or lifting heavy until I tried crossfit, and it turns out I absolutely adore it, and I owe that to having the chance to learn it with a coach. It was a great place for me to go from sedentary to fit because it was full of people who valued being healthy and strong (at my box, this is definitely praised and talked about more than being skinny). I seem to remember that you have some sort of inflammatory issue... I have RA, and I started out working privately with a coach while we ramped things up slowly and experimented with what my body could do and what it couldn't.

There's a lot, but I think the number 1 thing is that it fits your goals and individual needs. Do you want to learn barbell work? Make sure it has squat racks, deadlifting platforms, chalk, plenty of free weights, etc. Do you want lots of flexible space and slightly odd items like medballs, prowlers, boxes for box jumps, etc? Do you know you're going to want a trainer? Look into gyms with strong personal trainer staff. Do you have a burning desire to do a lot of cardio/ group classes with dance moves, etc.? There are a lot of practical considerations, too. Does it have hours that fit your schedule? If you're working out on the way to work, are there showers? And along those lines, look for somewhere that fits you. If you feel uncomfortable//unmotivated by the place, it's not going to get you to your goals.

jfreaksho is right that you can increase the challenge of the exercises without adding weights. There are plenty of ways to do that. But I think it's ok to add weights, too. for lunges, dumbbells can be held in your hands at your sides, for squats you can hold one dumbbell in both hands in front of your chest. As for how much weight... you'll have to play with it. I assume you already have a bodyweight routine? Start with adding a weight that allows you to still get through the routine but makes your fight for it. When it's not challenging, up the weight a little bit. If, say, you overshoot a little bit and get to the 3rd round of a routine and can't do it with the weight you chose, decrease the weight for that round or do it unweighted, and make it your next goal to get through all the rounds at that weight. Don't over-complicate things. Advanced athletes need to stress about the minutia of their programming, but you're not there yet (and I don't mean this in a mean way).

I'd say don't dump the guy until you've spoken to him about your concerns/questions unless he's having your do things that are dangerous or harmful (machines generally aren't, unless we're talking smith machine squats). 95% of his clients probably like the machines and feel more comfortable on them, and another 4% probably only want to do cardio. That doesn't mean he's not capable or knowledgeable about other programming. And without knowing more about your exact program, it's hard to say whether what he's come up with so far is a good program.

Nail polish is one of my favorites. A new bottle of OPI or Essie costs less than $10 and I can use it over and over. And then it encourages me to take some time to do my nails really well, so I have some time to pamper myself. A new song on iTunes is only a few dollars. An hour of sunbathing/lazing on a raft in the pool with zero productivity. A movie at the dollar theater (thought it's inaccurately named now that tickets are more than a dollar). For slightly bigger rewards, it's awesome to do something that allows your to use your new fitness. I've gone paddle-boarding with a groupon, for a day trip to hike outside of town, took a seminar with bodytribe at my box, etc.

I would suggest speaking to the head coach/manager/owner about what you're looking for. I know our box doesn't advertise open gym time or use of the gym independent of classes, but they make some exceptions for motivated people. You might be able to get some private coaching/programming that will come with gym privileges, particularly if you're at the point where you can safely perform movements without constant monitoring. It's worth asking. One of the nice things about most crossfit boxes being small, owner-operated businesses is that they tend to be more flexible and willing to work with their members.

This happens to me too. It may level off once your body is used to the new routine and activity level. A big part is that your body may not know when to expect food anymore, so it doesn't ramp up the hunger signals. As it gets used to a new routine, it might get the hang of it, so to speak. The big danger for me is that I'll tend to skip meals (or eat super light), when those are usually my most nutritious foods, leaving me with the junk food parts of my diet (because the only time I eat is when I'm with friends or someone brings in cookies to work, etc.). It might be a good idea to track calories for a few days. If you're pretty close to your target level, then I wouldn't worry about it for the time being, especially if you're not trying to gain.