Naaria

Yumm, cake!! Eating slowly definitely makes a difference in taste, doesn't it?

I don't think I'll be getting another job. It's a whole lot of extra stress that I think I would be better off without. And having two days off a week feels like heaven! Thank you for the support! It really is an unnerving feeling thinking that she's sipping tea watching me from her home.. Big Brother type shit

Day 21 [5/05] Week 3 begins and I'm feeling quite pumped and energetic! That whole, endorphins-after-exercise thing is addictive. I don't know if I'm imagining it but I feel like the more I do, the more gets released! It's niiiiice. So I've put a lot of thought into it, but I'm going to be quitting my Cupcakes job. The first few weeks that I started working there, the owner/boss lady was off on the other side of the country dealing with training in a new location they opened. She came back a couple of weeks ago and, I gotta tell you, the idea of going to work has been such a fucking drag.. and I only go there once a week for four hours. I think that's saying a lot. Basically what happened is.. the owner is a control freak. She wants/needs to get things done a certain way, by a certain time, all that.. which I can understand. It's her business to run and she's the boss. But it's not like I've been doing a bad job, or that I was overly slow at what I was doing. Yeah, I wasn't leaving RIGHT at 8:30 because I'm still learning.. and, again, I only close once a week so the improvements in my closing or the things I make note of in my head that I can do better next time can't get applied til the next week if that makes sense. But hooooly shit. One day, she's closing with me I guess because she hasn't been able to see me work and she. did. everything. for me. I did almost zero closing duties that night. I took a mental note of everything she told me so next week, I'd be able to close the way she wanted me to. On my annoyance level, I'm at about a 3/10. The week after that, I come in and she's done over half of the closing list. She even took the liberty of mopping ahead of time, so that when I lock the doors at night, I won't have to. I'm grateful and happy for what she's done. She doesn't stay the whole night this time but after she leaves.. I've got nothing to freaking do. Time went by really, really slowly. A few customers come in and are taking their time deciding, so I started folding boxes so I'm not just standing there looking at them (also one of her instructions, I have to keep busy if there are customers trying to make up their minds. I can understand this).. Then the phone rings. It's her telling me not to fold boxes right now, that I should be helping the customer. In my head it's like, "wait, wtf? She's watching me right now?" I explain the situation and she goes on and on and on about how I should talk with them and how I should engage them which will help them buy something and blah blah blah. Well lady, I did before you called and they decided they needed some time to decide, so I followed ANOTHER one of your instructions and kept busy. I didn't say this because if I had, I think I would have exploded on her. I'm now at a 6/10. The customers are ready for me to help them and try to tell her that I need to hang up now, but she won't stop talking. I signal with my hands that I need a second, because she won't stop talking. A couple mins later (I've been on the phone with her for at least 10 minutes now) and I interrupt her and say, "I need to help these customers, hold on" and put the phone in the counter. I'm sure she's watching me and what I'm doing which REALLY fucking bugs me. I'm gonna be 25 soon. I don't need you to watch me and constantly tell me what to do. Oh, by the way, did I mention that I am now five minutes past when I was supposed to start the last of the closing duties and I STILL have a few people to help? I pick the phone back up and she goes on a little more and tells me "you need to start doing the rest of your close now." Ya think? I'm 7/10 now. The day ends with me hauling ass to get everything done by 8:30 so she doesn't have more bullets to bother me with. I finish at 8:50 because I was so frustrated that I kept losing track of where I was when counting cash thanks to her. Grrrr. So, last week Sunday (or maybe even the Saturday) she texts me saying "because of some switching around we did, we had to cancel your shift on Monday". Wait, what the fuck? Number one, she didn't ASK. Number two, I only have ONE shift a week with them and they decide to cancel it? Come. fucking. on. I'm now at a full blown 10/10 annoyance and I think looking back on it, that's when I decided I was done with them. Or, it might have been tasting the freedom of two days off in a week. Whatever it was, it happened and now I can't stand the thought of going. I don't appreciate being treated like a child. I don't appreciate being watched while I work. Surveillance for safety purposes is one thing.. but watching me in order to tell me that I'm doing this and that wrong is a whole 'nother thing. So I'm done. I don't think I'll be going in today, either. Whew. That turned into a long ass rant.. but it's nice to get it out. I'm gonna go do my exercises and think up another awesome breakfast for today. Otherwise, everything is awesome in my life. 6 days until the trip. Massage job is great. I'm not losing weight on the scale but I feel awesome in my body overall. Life is good.

I think it's more than enough to do what you laid out for yourself in your challenge. No shame in that.. quite the opposite really! You should be super proud of everything you've accomplished considering you have injured yourself and have run into a couple of bumps in the road!

Your body won't always be as flexible as it was a week ago, or even a day ago. Your body is always changing. Listen to your body and breathe a little deeper as you hold at the "tightest" point a teensy bit longer. You're doing great!

Awesome job!!

Thanks Waanie <3 I felt amazing during and after my walk. I'm glad I got angry this morning. I think sometimes it's necessary to let it out, and not have it be targeted towards anyone. I don't like blowing up on people, or taking my shit out on people who don't deserve it. I watched a couple of TED talks on food and dieting while walking and I felt really motivated to do better for myself.. SO I made a really simple and delicious breakfast this morning!! I fried up some quinoa in butter, garlic, cauliflower, broccoli, corn, then fried two eggs over easy and then mashed them together! Ooey, gooey, eggy goodness. On the side I have an avocado and a couple of strips of turkey bacon. Yum. Yumyumyum. Edit to present to you.. Quinoa apple pie!! My dessert tonight!!

Day 20 [5/04] Tattoo is finally done scabbing! I shouldn't even say "finally" because it went by REALLY quickly. I used coconut oil and it really worked wonders. Very, very, minimal itching, quick healing.. I LOVE COCONUT OIL <3 Today is the day I get back on track. With or without support. Cuz fuck it, I'm not doing this to gain support, I'm doing this so I can stop being a fat, lazy, overeating slob. I'm doing this so I don't turn out like my mom. I'm not gonna let stupid shit get me down anymore. -__- YEAH I'm angry god damn it. Tired of this shit. Tired of the same shit repeating in my life even though I'm working so hard to change it all. SO FUCK IT!! FUCK IIIIIT!! (ノ ゜Д゜)ノ ︵ â”»â”â”»

Hi Waanie! I'm good. Just haven't done enough to update about. I'm around

Day 14 [4/28] I haven't been sleeping well because I'm so paranoid about my arm. I usually sleep with either arm tucked under the pillow but I have to be careful about where I put it for the next little while. I predict a lot of short naps for the next little while. I'm a little bummed because I can't do my workouts for a few days, and I can't do anything that will cause me to sweat too much so treadmill walking is also a little sketchy still. The only thing I can do is make sure I really watch what I eat so I don't balloon up while I'm exercise-less. Work is going to be interesting, to say the least.

I hope you get better soon, as well!

Day 13 [4/27] Tattoo get!! Will post pictures when I can unwrap it and clean it a bit So after the session I decided to engage in super self-care today. As much as I love the tattoo, I know it's traumatizing for the body so I'm taking good care of myself today. I decided to make myself brinner.. usually I make my omelets with garlic fried rice but today I used quinoa instead. Not the best, but also not bad. Grabbed some turkey bacon on my way home and it's not quite as flavourful as pork bacon but it really isn't that big of a deal. I "save" 130 calories each morning this way which means more food later on! YAY! I ALSO made some almond rice pudding and it's awesome. I reduced the sugar but upped the vanilla so it would still be delicious and satisfyingly sweet. The only thing left to do to top this self-care-day off is to take a nap! Good night! HERE! My tattooooo! http://imgur.com/a/GiQrM#0

Good for you for still trying to exercise, but maybe you should take it really easy for a few days Have you been icing it?

Well, I honestly doubt it. My two older brothers can't cook past frying up an egg and some bacon.. so I doubt that they'll start cooking for themselves as long as they're living here with my mom. But anyway, you're right about not being able to outrun my fork. I am quite proficient with 'em. I need to be more disciplined about when/what I eat. I've put on some weight due to bad habits this week (as well as my period coming soon) but I'm sure after a few days of eating well the bloat will go away. That's actually the reason why I haven't taken any progress pics this week.. :x I'm so ashamed!! Day 12 [4/26] Tomorrow is tattoo day!! woot!! I'm gonna work out hard tonight because I doubt I'll be able to on the Monday following. I'll be sore in a couple different ways.. and it's gonna be awesome. I have to say, I'm really glad I made this spreadsheet cuz I can look at a glance where I'm really falling short. I've been really bad about sugar/fried foods this week as well as eating after 8PM. Two big no-nos that are really quick to show on one's body. Since it's my Friday today I'm going to cook a great meal tonight. I'm thinking steak with mushrooms, asparagus, broccoli, cauliflower, a few roasted golden nugget potatoes.. Not sure how that'll fit in my teeny dishes but we'll make it work! edit! Did all three rounds yesterday! I did reducee some numbers on the last round but I was still dead tired by the end of it.. but somehow I'm not sore today which is a little bit disappointing! Oh well

DOMS is a trophy for working hard!!

Sounds like a pretty sweet gig you got there Nax! Congrats!

Thank you everyone for the continued support!! I will be doing it today after work. It said I shouldn't do it every day, and with my legs being so sore I don't think I could have anyway. However, today should be a good day to try again! If not, I'll just yoga it up til my legs do feel less sore then it's back to BBWW! It's funny actually how my arms aren't sore AT ALL. I must have developed strength in my arms without really noticing with massage. I'll probably end up upping the arm reps in the BBWW to compensate! There is something incredibly pleasing about being sore after a good workout. So yesterday wasn't a great day in terms of points. It was a very lazy day at work, and I went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and came home with cookies. The day itself was enjoyable, I kind of just veg'd out and played RF4 all day. SO addicted to that game right now. @___@ Honestly, everyone in my immediate family is trying in some way, shape or form except my mom. But she's the busiest so I don't necessarily blame her.. but considering she has diabetes she could at least change up her diet. It's funny/sad because it's her side of the family who are the overweight ones. :/ Curse those genes!! At the very least, my little brother has started going to the gym and looks like he's dropping some weight! My sister started that Bernstein's Diet or whatever and last I saw her she's dropped some weight as well. In terms of food though, no one's eating better or having smaller portions. It's take out/order in every night. I'm hoping that my family will start eating better, and will start getting into cooking good food. Other than my sister (who doesn't live at home with us) I'm the only one who's making diet changes. Hopefully they'll get to that place someday as well. Day 10 [4/24] Woke up late again this morning.. that's been a bad habit this week. I need to sleep earlier so I can wake early so I can walk in the mornings! Luckily the walk to/from the train = 40 mins so I meet my walking requirements most days anyway, but 30 more mins definitely would not hurt! I'm hoping for another lazy day at work so I can conserve my energy for a workout later today. Getting my tattoo in THREE days. I'm SO PUMPED!! Then, from that Sunday will be two weeks until I go on my trip. I gotta be honest, I'm starting to freak out about it.. and not necessarily in a good way. Must remember to breeeeathe.

I think you're doing an amazing job staying afloat even on your down days

CONGRATS!! You're amazing!

Day 8 [4/22] I changed up my plans a bit, I decided to finally do the BBWW. That was fun, but it kicked my ass! I am SO tired of being weak. I want to be STRONG!! Lift mountains!! ... or.. well, you know, carry groceries home from a short-ish walk without having to stop a few times. I only did two rounds because I felt my right hammy tense up a bit. I'm so scared of hurting myself so I took it as easy as I could while still pushing myself a bit. I did yoga afterwards to cool down and stretch out my body a bit.. AND I FEEL AWESOME Yoga is awesome, strength training is awesome, cardio is awesome. I want to be fit. I'm so tired of being/feeling fat!! My entire family is overweight or worse, so I think I'm predisposed to that kind of lifestyle.. but I don't want it. I want to be as far away from it as possible! I feel pumped. I really think I'm going to be able to get strong/fit/fast enough to run away from my familiar, fat lifestyle once and for all!

Lost, it'll be of a couple of sunflowers on my left forearm. It's gonna cover up some scars I have from when I was a teenager I will definitely post pictures when I get it done! I'm SO EXCITED! Waanie, thank you! I kinda wish my family did something a little more family-like for Easter. Oh well. Fortunately I'm not a big chocolate fan.. except for when I'm about to get my period. Which is now. So I had a really delicious brownie cupcake at work yesterday. Luckily that satisfied all of my chocolate cravings til next month. Let's see, just a quick check-in/update, this week has been a bad start so far, but I don't feel too bad because I've been sick and trying to get back to ground zero before getting back into the routine. I WILL DO YOGA AFTER WORK TODAY!! My body feels tight and I don't like it I'll be late for work if I dawdle any longer so a more detailed update will come later!!

If you have will power for one thing, you can have it for all things! It's all in your mind, maaan~ Keep it up, try to pep talk yourself into not giving in!

Sounds like you need a good long, lazy day to recouperate! Take it if you can

HAVE FUN! Take care!!