vicrandom

Day 32: Walked, no mindful meal. Day 33: Walked, no mindful meal. Day 34: Walked, no mindful meal. Day 35: Walked, no mindful meal. I think that's probably a B for goal 1 and something awful for goal 2 this past week. Day 36: Walked, mindful meal, binge. Food is pretty off the rails this week and despite having a couple of days off (thankfully) a couple of other responsibilities have made it more of a challenge to find time to sit down and reflect on this. I know fitness has to be a top priority, but I feel like if I make it a top priority, job/career stuff will suffer (badly). So, even though it's been really hard, I've been keeping up with walks. Once or twice they had to be quite short to make them happen, but I did make them happen. Every day is a struggle right now and I haven't stretched in a few days, so my goal for today is to have a home-cooked meal from the meal plan and get my stretch in - plus a walk, even a really short one. Actually, even leftovers would be fine, I have a bunch of work related things to do tonight so meal prep may be out unless there's something on the menu that is super short and easy. No takeout, no binge. That's all. Oh, it was my birthday. Life's a mess.

I haven't had much time to keep up with posting and following in part because work is crazy. I'm taking days off, but now there's this whole other thing going on that is eating into my days off, to the point where I might decline a lunch on monday because I'm already going to be coming in on my days off to do... stuff. That will put my mind on work. Which is exactly what I don't need. I can't really ask my work friends to come out to me for lunch, but even travelling to the area to eat somewhere is going to stress me out unnecessarily. Day 29: No walk. The ten hour days are really wearing me down, and finding the strength to keep up with everything is really challenging. No mindfulness, bingey dinner. Day 30: Mindful breakfast. Plan to go home on time to walk. Edit: Did walk. My runkeeper total and mordor excel total have gotten out of whack somehow. Anyway, we have gone from "road rolls up and down" to "zig zags up a hill" on the second day. Dining with elves soon enough! Maybe. Managed to mostly hold it together for dinner; not mindful but avoided a binge. Day 31: Uh. No mindful meals. Yes, walked at lunch (Milestone: First real Black Rider encounter, still in Tookland). Averaging 13.69 km/week with my recent hot messiness, so, I'm owing... five or six K at this point. I mean, that's not part of the challenge, I'm not going to sweat it like crazy especially with my toe acting up the way it has been, but... Siiiiiign. Let's see if I can catch up by the end of the challenge. But really, let's see if - after I finish writing some must-do stuff tomorrow morning - I can get some good pontificating in on how to get back on track foodwise and get serious about healthy food in my facehole.

Day 26: Goal 1: Walked at lunch, slightly longer walk. Lots of ice on the ground, which shortened my route, but still managed a kilometer and a half. Worked late and binged on pizza instead of getting another good walk in - dumb, because it was foggy and fog is my favorite. Sunday I may give myself a break on walking, or will likely keep it short, as I'm helping someone move and that will probably be just about all I can handle. Today there's fresh snow on the ground and I'm not sure how gung ho I'll be to do my planned longer walk - my toes have been acting up a lot as well. We'll see. Goal 2: Mindful, big breakfast. Aforementioned binge dinner. On the plus side, I'm feeling quite gross about it and somewhat more inspired to make a more structured healthy eating commitment. However, it's going to be an insanely busy weekend so it will be tough to find the time to really hash things out. I'm planning on going mattress shopping because sleeping on the old one is becoming a challenge even when I'm taking moderate care of myself, and there's some job stuff to do. Like... soul searchy job stuff, not work from home, although I have that option as well, being perpetually about a solid productive week behind on urgent stuff. Plus the move. Day 27: No walk; a million years of mattress shopping. I did have a mindful breakfast. Bingey dinner. Day 28: Helped with the move, which was pretty easygoing, so I did walk after. No mindfulness. Week 4: Goal 1: 6 out of 7 walks. Not a great reason for skipping but slept like a baby that night so don't really regret it, exactly, although I regret the progress setback for Mordor. B. Goal 2: 3.5/7 mindful days, with just one extra mindful meal. 4 binges. That's a D! Ugh.

Day 24: Goal 1: Walked after work. I've been doing an easier, flatter walk, where there's a hill right at the start but then it's basically all flat sidewalk, which is partly because I don't want to be out on the fun path when it's so icy. I'll have to catch up my some kms on the weekend to stay on track for rivendell. Goal 2: No mindful meals. Binge of sorts on lasagna. Like garfield. Day 25: Goal 1: Walked at lunch - not even 1 km. Left foot is giving me the business and it's not even my toe, it's somewhere in the middle of the ball of my foot. Sigh. It did make my afternoon much more sane and relaxed though. Goal 2: Mindful dinner, sort of, followed by unecessary food. Carbing up these last two days, bleh. I'm really hoping my vacation request gets approved. Even though I'll fall further behind, I'm kind of about to lose my mind and that won't help anyone.

You're doing fantastic with the consistency. Great stuff.

Day 22: Goal 1: Walked when I got home, shins were sore (kinda odd). Goal 2: Did I have a mindful meal yesterday? That was so long ago. Um... Yeah, not sure I did. Wait! Yes, yes I did. It was a tea-time kind of meal where I eat the rest of my lunch late because there wasn't time to eat it all and because I won't get home in time to avoid the risk of hypoglycemia. It was peaceful. The Indian Slow-Cooker Cookbook is the bomb so far. Day 23: Goal 1: Walked when I got home even though I didn't leave work until 6. Had a mindful breakfast (homemade even). Ate some dumb breakroom food at work (main office is a dangerous place) but currently prepping a yummy frittata and planning my second mindful meal today. [edit: success] I slipped a couple of days (Friday night... the 19th day?) and didn't ice my toe that night or the following morning, and did the very barest of stretching. Back at it Sunday morning with some good stretches though. I'm probably ready to get back to "real" yoga when I make time for it. Right now though, it feels good and even kind of important to be doing something good for me so consistently. The toe icing is making a huge difference in my ability to walk without pain and occasionally pick up the pace without fear I'm going to do myself some damage. Plus I now do it while I'm in bed so that it's easier to get the "elevation" part of RICE going. Icing in the morning is an easier proposition when the 15 minutes is part of your lie-in time before actually facing the day instead of something you're trying to do while getting the knots out of your hair. I should update my sig with my stats, I guess? Or is it traditional to wait until the first challenge is all the way over for that?

Yay, wobbly legs! Best feeling ever. Congratulations on getting back at it (and for getting started at the roughest time of year). I'm not sure how to properly follow a profile feed in, like, normal-time, but looking back on yours it looks like things are going AWESOME.

Hope you had a great time at your party, and huge congratulations on getting out for the first mile to Mordor, especially in the snow. I just started rereading the books so that I can pick out a few meaningful milestones (not all of the descriptions on Eowyn really ring a bell), but I think I'll have to find some alternate sources of motivation to get me through some of the stretches. I'm trying to pull some motivation from your food logging - regardless of how the party went, you're doing great with the "80%" part of the fitness thing. I'm starting to feel inspired!

Not sure how this week is turning out for you, but congratulations on your good progress anyway - whether or not the last few days went as planned, you've got some great goals underway!

Take care and my condolences to your family. It's always a strain, even when the passing is expected and prepared for, so I'm sending well-wishes to you and your family.

Congratulations on your progress!

Day 21: Goal 1: 2 walks, gorgeous day out. Approx. 5% progress to Rivendell and averaging in range to make it on time. I think I'm dehydrated though. Goal 2: Food has been a mess lately, I need to really think through how to make more time for mindful eating and really... I don't know. I mean, I had ice cream yesterday, and pasta, and a bun today, and all of that is kind of odd for me. And I'll be sitting there really making an effort to taste my ice cream - and succeeding, and noticing that the ice cream is kind of gross and that I am already full, but I finish it anyway. What's that about? Anyway, that's not a today update, that's just some noodling. I had a mindful breakfast, so far. I'm still pondering whether I had a mindful lunch and kind of snacked after anyway, or whether the reason was that I wasn't actually being mindful, I just tricked myself into thinking I was. Really, if I were being mindful, I wouldn't have this question. So that's a no. I like a Sunday afternoon (often) to be quiet and relaxed but my partner's idea of a lazy sunday involves a lot of loud activity. When I am not stressed to the breaking point I can reconcile that without too much trouble, but when I am this wound up, it's kind of making me freak out and overreact in weird ways. I'm starting to understand a trauma presentation I went to where the presenter said that she sometimes wears earplugs so that she can't hear the cats walking around the house - her internal stillness and ability to do therapy depends that much on external quiet. I can now officially sympathize (rather than empathize). The profound activity and attention demanded by the work week demands an equal and opposite condition when I'm not working. Week 3 Goal 1 Walked 6 days out of 7, B. Goal 2: Mindful meals 6 days out of 7, 1 binge. B. Week 1 (retroactive grading) Goal 1: 5 make-up walks and 2 walks during week 1, A. Goal 2: 3 extra mindful meals so far, 2 (recorded) binges in Week 1. To pass week 1, I need to have a mindful dinner, and that will be a really sad, skin-of-one's teeth pass. I'm really working for grades here, not cool! Edit: I did have a very mindful dinner, and some unmindful snacking after, but at 4 mindful meals/2 binges I technically squeak a B for a pass in week 1, leading to a B-average for the first 3 weeks, which I guess means I get level 1. In the next day or two I am going to really think about what my end goal is in terms of food to try to get this goal/challenge in perspective.

Day 19: I started work early and finished at 9 pm. Goal 1: No Mordor walks, although I got some short unintentional walks in during the day. My feet hurt for some reason, I think my new shoes are breaking in really slowly. Goal 2: I had a mindful dinner, sort of, although the fact that it was a second dinner after getting something at the food court to make it to the end of the work day tells you that it was probably not worth counting toward a good grade. Day 20: Not off to the best start (fast food breakfast) but then, the grocery shop could have gone worse. I was eying up all kinds of candy and pastry that I didn't buy. I mean... I usually don't buy candy and pastry (at least not since the challenge started and maybe a couple of weeks prior) but this time I kinda wanted to. Goal 1: Walked twice. Felt very sluggish, but it was beautiful out. The bad part about using runkeeper is that if you want to stop and look at the clouds, it's going to noisily note that you stopped (and maybe just end your activity for you even though you are not done). The other bad part is that it does this on stairs because you are not moving forward fast enough for it. The third bad part is that it just guesstimates your distance, and yet shows an accurate-seeming record of your walk, creating an internal tension in the walker that is difficult to resolve. I feel like it's always distance +/- .5 kms. Goal 2: I ate a mindful very late lunch. Thinking on it, breakfast definitely counted as a binge. Life goal: Ran the numbers, definitely worth contributing more. The Canadian/US exchange rate is killing me though. If you have the opportunity to NOT borrow in a strong currency and repay in a weak one, can I suggest that you take it?

Day 18: Goal 1: Walked after work (milestone: End of hobbits' day 1 walk. "Fox sees them"). So frustrated I cried (but I held it in until I was in a spot free of dog walkers). Got home, called my mom, cried and yelled a lot. Feel slightly less crazy. Goal 2: Mindful breakfast. Half-mindful dinner... ate the first part slow and thoughtful-like, and then just ate. Life goal: I heard back from payroll, so to get my stats for the second part of this challenge, I'll have to do the actual math and see if I want to change my contribution. And then figure that part out.

Let's imagine that the worst case scenario is true, and all these jocks are totally thinking bad thoughts about you. I don't like to lean into this approach too much, I'm all about peace and love, but: who has time to waste judging other people when they're at the gym? People who aren't committed, who are kind of mean-spirited, who aren't focused on their own goals, people who have lots of growing up to do. I've been the judger, and when I have time to be like omg what's up with THAT guy/girl, it's because I'm being petty and not getting my own shit done. So I check myself, remind myself to respect their effort and my own, and get back to business. You can respond with compassion or a tight mental put-down, but the fact is, if the mean ol' jock is judging you, the impact of that falls on them - not you.But you have no actual evidence of the judgment unless they actually say something. Until they actually say something... It's you judging you, and your judgment is spilling onto them. Give yourself a break. You're being outlandishly brave; you deserve it. No idea where that rant came from, but hey, I'll post it anyway. That kind of day.