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Loki

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About Loki

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    adventurer
  1. Is there room for one more? I have a 1 year old who wears super hero onesies all the time.
  2. Been offline all week with traveling, so I've been jotting things down and am now finally getting a chance to arrange them! Firstly, a fuller version of my goals and the like: 1) Re-calibrate Diet - Variety Is the Spice of Life Plan: Through the course of the challenge, I will eat 10 new to me and healthful foods. I must eat at least one new food per week. Rationale: My true goal is weight loss, but body dysmorphia is preventing me from seeing weight loss despite smaller clothing sizes and measurements. So, I'm calibrating from a different direction: food quality and variety. This way I break out of my food ruts and gain a new awareness in quality of food in diet. I'm hoping this will result in a healthier mindspace for weight loss, but regardless it will keep me eating more healthfully and adventurously. Grading: Each week without a new food drops the score by a letter grade. Besides that, 10 - A, 8 - B, 6 - C, 4 - D Stats: CHA 2, CON 2 2) Re-calibrate Schedule - Everything in Its Time, if everything is sleep and water Plan: Two pronged--Drink a glass of water first and last thing every day, as well as actually keeping my water bottle at my side throughout the day. Adjust sleep schedule to switch from night owl to morning person by waking up earlier and earlier, goal of regular 5am wake up by challenge end. Rationale: I struggle to hydrate enough, so by creating a hydration schedule I will have a guideline that keeps me on track while I develop the better habits. And for the sleep schedule thing, I need to carve out time away from the baby for my own work and working out--evenings aren't working for me because I'm frequently either too tired by the time I can pass off the baby, or get going too well with working and find racing thoughts keep me awake too late. If I can get in the routine of waking earlier, I'll have a reserved block of time while avoiding the energy problems from later in the day. Grading: Weekly, I'll assess water drinking and assign a letter grade; average of the letter grades for final, 50% of grade for this goal. For the waking up goal, final grade dependent on how early I wake up the majority of days in the last week: 5-5:30 - A, 5:30-6 - B, 6-6:30 C, 6:30-7 - D Stats: CON 2, WIS 2 3) Re-calibrate Cardiovascular Health and Endurance - Run TO Your Problems! Plan: Complete first four weeks of couch-to-5k, including repeating some days. Rationale: I used to run and wish I could again. Past few years I've slid out of shape pretty terribly. I want my stamina back. Grading: 4 weeks complete - A, 3 - B, 2 - C, 2> Fail. Stats: STA 4 4) Re-calibrate Conversing - Francais, vis-a-vis Plan: Use online language learning resources to refresh in French (took it in school many years ago, wasn't very good at it) and, at the end of the challenge, attempt a conversation in French with a native French-speaking relative. Rationale: I miss studying language, and since I have a victim to speak a language at... Grading: Full conversation - A, Pleasantries - B, Occasional phrases - C. Stats: WIS 3 Now, a report for week one. 1) Diet - This week I did really well. I tried four new foods: blueberries, leeks, almond milk, and plain yogurt (can you tell I was making smoothies?). Fruit is an area I struggle with, but through smoothies it is easier to consume more, which means less food spoilage. Score! 2) Schedules - For drinking, I was much improved from pre-challenge, but still not all the way there. The trend was my water intake getting better as the week went on. C. For sleep, my wake-up time has been bouncing between 8-9. 3) Running - Travel and terrible allergies that render breathing optional have delayed me from progressing here. 4) French - Didn't have much time online for the learning websites, but did pull up some of my old French music (except, by "dig up" I mean opened up itunes and clicked it). Practice listening counts a little, right? Last challenge ended on a weird note that I hope to avoid. On paper, I did great, but I felt like I'd made no progress and body dysmorphia kept me down. This time around, I'm trying to keep my goals away from physical looks in hopes of keeping dysmorphia at bay. Ma famille est tres nombreuse; mes cousins et ma soeur parlent francais! Haha, I probably conjugated wrong and my French here is most likely a trainwreck. Thanks for the welcome back! I hope the challenge has been going well for you this time around!
  3. Woah, this challenge sneaked up on me. I'll elaborate and fill this in later (doing this from a mobile device while traveling). Thoughts so far for goals (will be prettied up and codified in the near future): 1) Some form of weight loss/diet goal. Working on a metric. Con/cha. 2) First four weeks of couch to 5k, weeks 3 and 4 repeated. Sta. 3) Dance classes. Because it's hilarious. Dex. Removed--timing just isn't right. 4) Conversation in a foreign language with a native speaker by challenge's end. Thinking French. Wis. Day 1) Diet was good today, being on the road limits workout though. REVISED: Major Goal: Avoid/Delay Ragnarok by defeating self-destructive impulses. For this challenge, the name of the goal is Calibration. 1) Re-calibrate Diet - Variety Is the Spice of Life Plan: Through the course of the challenge, I will eat 10 new to me and healthful foods. I must eat at least one new food per week. Rationale: My true goal is weight loss, but body dysmorphia is preventing me from seeing weight loss despite smaller clothing sizes and measurements. So, I'm calibrating from a different direction: food quality and variety. This way I break out of my food ruts and gain a new awareness in quality of food in diet. I'm hoping this will result in a healthier mindspace for weight loss, but regardless it will keep me eating more healthfully and adventurously. Grading: Each week without a new food drops the score by a letter grade. Besides that, 10 - A, 8 - B, 6 - C, 4 - D Stats: CHA 2, CON 2 2) Re-calibrate Schedule - Everything in Its Time, if everything is sleep and water Plan: Two pronged--Drink a glass of water first and last thing every day, as well as actually keeping my water bottle at my side throughout the day. Adjust sleep schedule to switch from night owl to morning person by waking up earlier and earlier, goal of regular 5am wake up by challenge end. Rationale: I struggle to hydrate enough, so by creating a hydration schedule I will have a guideline that keeps me on track while I develop the better habits. And for the sleep schedule thing, I need to carve out time away from the baby for my own work and working out--evenings aren't working for me because I'm frequently either too tired by the time I can pass off the baby, or get going too well with working and find racing thoughts keep me awake too late. If I can get in the routine of waking earlier, I'll have a reserved block of time while avoiding the energy problems from later in the day. Grading: Weekly, I'll assess water drinking and assign a letter grade; average of the letter grades for final, 50% of grade for this goal. For the waking up goal, final grade dependent on how early I wake up the majority of days in the last week: 5-5:30 - A, 5:30-6 - B, 6-6:30 C, 6:30-7 - D Stats: CON 2, WIS 2 3) Re-calibrate Cardiovascular Health and Endurance - Run TO Your Problems! Plan: Complete first four weeks of couch-to-5k, including repeating some days. Rationale: I used to run and wish I could again. Past few years I've slid out of shape pretty terribly. I want my stamina back. Grading: 4 weeks complete - A, 3 - B, 2 - C, 2> Fail. Stats: STA 4 4) Re-calibrate Conversing - Francais, vis-a-vis Plan: Use online language learning resources to refresh in French (took it in school many years ago, wasn't very good at it) and, at the end of the challenge, attempt a conversation in French with a native French-speaking relative. Rationale: I miss studying language, and since I have a victim to speak a language at... Grading: Full conversation - A, Pleasantries - B, Occasional phrases - C. Stats: WIS 3 Stats at beginning of first challenge and end of last:Gender/Age/Height: F/mid-twenties/5'8"Chest: 52" - 49" (-3)Underbust: 39" - 37" (-2)Waist: 38" - 34" (-4)Hips: 54" - 50" (-4) Inches lost since first challenge: 13"
  4. Woah, this challenge sneaked up on me. I'll elaborate and fill this in later (doing this from a mobile device while traveling). Thoughts so far for goals (will be prettied up and codified in the near future): 1) Some form of weight loss/diet goal. Working on a metric. Con/cha. 2) First four weeks of couch to 5k, weeks 3 and 4 repeated. Sta. 3) Dance classes. Because it's hilarious. Dex. 4) Conversation in a foreign language with a native speaker by challenge's end. Thinking French. Wis. Day 1) Diet was good today, being on the road limits workout though.
  5. Decided to give myself half credit for the diet, and partial credit for the compliments.
  6. I think the real problem isn't pants or measurements, but body dysmorphia. And while those suggestions would be helpful for most people, for me food journals are dangerous. If I lay out the food, I can't help but count calories (it's automatic knowledge) and once I have numbers I kinda go crazy to get them smaller. It's one of the slippery slopes that has caused some of the worst eating disorder relapses I've had in the past. The way I've been trying to get around it is by a clean diet of unmeasured portions of vegetables straight from local farm stands and lean meats, but too much dairy kept creeping in, along with peer-pressure social eating (I already know from experience that breads and other processed carbs do terrible things to me, and try to avoid them and all sugars). Rationally, the amounts and types of food I was eating at should have still created weight loss and, even at the worst cheating part during the challenge, shouldn't have been much higher than what maintenance will be once I hit goal weight. But dysmorphia isn't rational, and I can't help but constantly wonder if the stuff I used to do permanently damaged my metabolism, and the only way for me to actually lose weight (or even stop from gaining it) is a sub 600 cal diet. I guess all I can say is that I can't trust my perception enough to measure whether or not I'm having any success.
  7. That's amazing! I'm so happy for you! And those pictures, it's amazing not just how much smaller you look but how much younger it makes you look. No reason to second guess putting them up--they're inspirational. Again, congrats on a very successful challenge, and I look forward to following your next challenge thread!
  8. RESULTS MAIN QUEST: Avoid that whole "Bound to a rock by son's entrails while a snake drips acid venom on forehead until escaping and starting Ragnarok" thing. I'm going to interpret this metaphor as "control and surmount self-damaging impulses so I don't end up tormented until I can no longer take it and cause the end of the world" RESULTS: Well, world hasn't ended yet, but that's not to say it won't soon. Still have a lot of work to do. 1) Pants Off Dance Off REDUX Drop one pants size Points: CON 2 (improved health from diet), CHA 2 (looking better) RESULTS: Started off very strong, then backslid slowly to more of a maintence diet than weight loss--the maintence was still enough to lose weight, just not enough. Then, at one point I hit a really rough patch of self-hatred and went off the diet for a few days entirely. I recovered though and ended strong. Still need to work on drinking more though, and near the end I was only eating enough through concious decisions--the impulses to skip meals, fast, and undereat were pretty strong. For the size loss, I'm not sure how to judge. The jeans I used last time are cut in such a way that they just weren't flattering or fitting right, even in the proper size. When shopping for new pants, what fit was pretty scattershot. The pants that I ended up looking best in were, indeed, a size smaller, but not all pants of that size fit. I honstly don't know how to grade this. 2) 100 Miles to Asgard Log 100 miles. These miles will come from any combination of running, treadmills, elliptical, biking, exercise bikes, walking, skipping, swimming. Grade based on how many miles logged (90-100+ is A, 80-89 B, 70-79 C, 60-69 D) Points: STA 4 RESULTS: 101.5/100 miles! I got it, just barely! I would have preferred if more of the miles had been from things other than walking, but I met the requirement as laid out. I hadn't realized how badly my cardiovascular health and endurance had suffered from the injury and then post-baby lack of exercise. I think my next plan is to prepare for couch to 5 k or a similar program. Full points awarded. 3) Scale Hrimthrus’s Wall This is a flat out reverse of my jumping challenge from last time. I will climb up my front yard retaining wall rather than walking up the stairs like a normal person. Grade based on where I climb from; 5 stairs, so each one will be a different grade A-F. Points: STR 2, DEX 2 RESULTS: Overwhelming success. Only a week or two in, I had to revise this challenge entirely and started climbing stone walls instead. I still rely too much on lower body strength for climbing, but have drastically improved and not only climbed everything I tried to for the challenge, but also trees, rocks, and random things when nobody was looking. More than that though, I move so much better. I'm more graceful, more coordinated, and have a much better idea of what my body can do. I wasn't giving myself enough credit and had been stuck in bad mental habits of assuming I couldn't do anything and therefore shouldn't try. This challenge broke me of it. Full points awarded. Life Goal) Modesty’s for Mortals! Respond to compliments with “thank you†instead of nonsense deflections and self-insults. Additionally, I must acknowledge one thing about myself that I like each day. Haha, self-hatred that that! Grade is based on percentage of days I give a compliment (90-100+ is A, 80-89 B, 70-79 C, 60-69 D) Points: WIS 3 RESULTS: This one was mixed and was by far the hardest part of the challenge. On one hand, I gave myself a compliment every day but one: 97.6%. Additionally, I now habitually say thank you without thinking, instead of deflecting compliments or using them as excuses to say terrible things about myself. But, it took me a good way through the challenge before that habit was cemented, and I still think a lot of terrible things about myself unprovoked. So, I don't know if I should award partial or full points, 2 or 3. Points earned: STR - 2 DEX - 2 STA - 4 CON - ? WIS - ? CHA - ? Stats at beginning and end: Gender/Age/Height: F/mid-twenties/5'8" Chest: 51" - 49" (-2) Underbust: 37" - 37" (0) Waist: 35" - 34" (-1) Hips: 52" - 50" (-2) Inches lost: 5" Stats at beginning of first challenge and now: Chest: 52" - 49" (-3) Underbust: 39" - 37" (-2) Waist: 38" - 34" (-4) Hips: 54" - 50" (-4) Inches lost since first challenge: 13" Despite what the numbers say, I still feel like I've lost nothing, to be honest.
  9. RESULTS MAIN QUEST: Avoid that whole "Bound to a rock by son's entrails while a snake drips acid venom on forehead until escaping and starting Ragnarok" thing. I'm going to interpret this metaphor as "control and surmount self-damaging impulses so I don't end up tormented until I can no longer take it and cause the end of the world" RESULTS: Well, world hasn't ended yet, but that's not to say it won't soon. Still have a lot of work to do. 1) Pants Off Dance Off REDUX Drop one pants size Points: CON 2 (improved health from diet), CHA 2 (looking better) RESULTS: Started off very strong, then backslid slowly to more of a maintence diet than weight loss--the maintence was still enough to lose weight, just not enough. Then, at one point I hit a really rough patch of self-hatred and went off the diet for a few days entirely. I recovered though and ended strong. Still need to work on drinking more though, and near the end I was only eating enough through concious decisions--the impulses to skip meals, fast, and undereat were pretty strong. For the size loss, I'm not sure how to judge. The jeans I used last time are cut in such a way that they just weren't flattering or fitting right, even in the proper size. When shopping for new pants, what fit was pretty scattershot. The pants that I ended up looking best in were, indeed, a size smaller, but not all pants of that size fit. I honstly don't know how to grade this. 2) 100 Miles to Asgard Log 100 miles. These miles will come from any combination of running, treadmills, elliptical, biking, exercise bikes, walking, skipping, swimming. Grade based on how many miles logged (90-100+ is A, 80-89 B, 70-79 C, 60-69 D) Points: STA 4 RESULTS: 101.5/100 miles! I got it, just barely! I would have preferred if more of the miles had been from things other than walking, but I met the requirement as laid out. I hadn't realized how badly my cardiovascular health and endurance had suffered from the injury and then post-baby lack of exercise. I think my next plan is to prepare for couch to 5 k or a similar program. Full points awarded. 3) Scale Hrimthrus’s Wall This is a flat out reverse of my jumping challenge from last time. I will climb up my front yard retaining wall rather than walking up the stairs like a normal person. Grade based on where I climb from; 5 stairs, so each one will be a different grade A-F. Points: STR 2, DEX 2 RESULTS: Overwhelming success. Only a week or two in, I had to revise this challenge entirely and started climbing stone walls instead. I still rely too much on lower body strength for climbing, but have drastically improved and not only climbed everything I tried to for the challenge, but also trees, rocks, and random things when nobody was looking. More than that though, I move so much better. I'm more graceful, more coordinated, and have a much better idea of what my body can do. I wasn't giving myself enough credit and had been stuck in bad mental habits of assuming I couldn't do anything and therefore shouldn't try. This challenge broke me of it. Full points awarded. Life Goal) Modesty’s for Mortals! Respond to compliments with “thank you†instead of nonsense deflections and self-insults. Additionally, I must acknowledge one thing about myself that I like each day. Haha, self-hatred that that! Grade is based on percentage of days I give a compliment (90-100+ is A, 80-89 B, 70-79 C, 60-69 D) Points: WIS 3 RESULTS: This one was mixed and was by far the hardest part of the challenge. On one hand, I gave myself a compliment every day but one: 97.6%. Additionally, I now habitually say thank you without thinking, instead of deflecting compliments or using them as excuses to say terrible things about myself. But, it took me a good way through the challenge before that habit was cemented, and I still think a lot of terrible things about myself unprovoked. So, I don't know if I should award partial or full points, 2 or 3. Points earned: STR - 2 DEX - 2 STA - 4 CON - ? WIS - ? CHA - ? Stats at beginning and end: Gender/Age/Height: F/mid-twenties/5'8" Chest: 51" - 49" (-2) Underbust: 37" - 37" (0) Waist: 35" - 34" (-1) Hips: 52" - 50" (-2) Inches lost: 5" Stats at beginning of first challenge and now: Chest: 52" - 49" (-3) Underbust: 39" - 37" (-2) Waist: 38" - 34" (-4) Hips: 54" - 50" (-4) Inches lost since first challenge: 13" I don't know if I've lost enough weight from the beginning of the challenge till now to justify a progress picture. I feel like I've lost nothing, to be honest.
  10. Thanks for the encouragement! I know what you mean, Montecristo, about the pants stuff, but I struggle to find any other measurable way to evaluate if (a) I'm staying on diet well enough and ( that the diet is working. I'll have to really think of it for next time... So, late updates (as I went on an internet-free trip for the past long weekend): Diet has been exceptionally clean the past few days, though I did fight (successfully!) the impulse to under-eat. Lifting was mixed up with some light climbing. I did pretty well on accepting compliments, for once. I'll do a compliment and the mileage by day (from my pen and paper notes!). Thurs: I rock strategy and planning. 2.5 mile Fri: I help people. 3 miles Sat: I'm brave. 5 miles Sun: I'm good with nuance. 5 miles Weekend mileage total: 15.5 miles of hiking! So my final hiking total is 101.5/100! Tomorrow I'll hopefully have time to do a recap/summary post and take new progress pics (though I'm terrified that the pics will show no change...). But for now, I'm dead tired, and tomorrow I have a lot of work to get caught up on. Still don't regret my long-weekend vacation though!
  11. I agree on the same style pants thing, but haven't had luck with size selections in stores being in stock. I'll have to come up with a better way to judge this for next time. Diet) ridiculously clean, good hydration 100 Miles) 2, 86/100 Climbing) nope Compliment) I'm organized.
  12. Congrats on your numbers!!! You worked hard and earned them! Your glucose improvement is incredibly impressing, and the 15lbs lost is phenomenal! Now keep it up and finish strong; a final weight under 300 is completely doable for you!
  13. Diet) Decent for a holiday. 100 Miles) 1, 84/100. I am only 6 miles away from an A grade, 16 miles away from my goal. I have a hiking trip planned for this weekend, so here's hoping I hit 100... Climbing) Nope Compliment) I'm proactive. I also accepted compliments gracefully today; have been good about it the past few days. Ok, so going into the final stretch I'm very close to an A in miles, and reaching the full goal is do-able. Climbing was already completed. For the compliments, I think I missed only 1 day so I'm probably in A territory. The big problem is the diet goal. While I had some rough days, my scoring metric is pants size. For going down, I decided to find a different cut of pants (the ones I was in had too much back waistband gap). When I tried on pants, it was a total crapshoot--there was no relationship between the size on the tag and the fit. The pair that ended up looking best on me, most comfortable, was a size down which technically meets my goal. However, in other less flattering cuts the smaller size didn't fit (in one, a size one bigger than my current pair fit but didn't look good). So, I'm not sure if it counts as completing the challenge or not. Please advise.
  14. Meant todo a bigger write up but got sucked into work and lost track of time. Diet) Even better than yesterday! Back on track! 100 Miles) 1.5, 83/100 Climbing) nope Compliment) I'm a good researcher.
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