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About Raincloak

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  • Birthday 09/17/85

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  1. How's his own fitness? Possibly you two could bond by working out or playing sports together. Be gentle when you bring this up. His lack of "support" may actually be a cover for feeling ashamed about himself. Don't psych yourself out imagining problems that don't exist, but talk to him. If the problem (he doesn't feel attracted to you anymore) is real, you guys should see a relationship counselor, and possibly a doctor. Your partner could have a mental issue, depression, low testosterone, or any number of things causing his lack of libido. It's also possible he's having an affair or is tempted to. iDo not ignore your own health or needs to please your partner. If he loves you, he will want what is good for you. But get this thing resolved, with professional help if necessary, because it will breed resentment and bad behavior between both of you if the issue is not addressed.
  2. Man, who the hell's that nerd waving over there? You think he works here or something?
  3. If you don't have a colander, you can drain pasta or other things by holding the pot in one hand, opening the lid just a crack with the other, and tipping it over the sink. Oven mitts may be required if the lid is hot.
  4. I went to read up on pickled eggs in Wikipedia and discovered that in Dongyang, China, they make eggs boiled in the urine of young boys. As food. o.O That would probably make the eggs taste, uh, "different," but probably not better. Might try pickling though.
  5. Yesterday I tried on the hateful office clothes, pitched out some of the hatefulest, and picked an outfit for temp job. Today I went to temp job and got compliments on my outfit. (It was all black, with silver and pearl accessories. You know what, black works and I'm sticking with it. I'm headed for a goth/punk wardrobe phase, and for the first time in my life, I'm starting to pick clothes to express my attitude, instead of trying to fit in or wear what my mother thinks looks good. It feels very right.) Career center informed me they won't help me because they only help recent grads and I got my degree over 3 years ago. Such bullshit, but I'll just have to forge ahead without em.
  6. So I decided on a new career path and made an appointment with my alma mater's Career Center to get some advice. The counselor just emailed me back informing me that my appointment is canceled because their policy is not to help anyone who graduated more than 24 months ago. It's been about 46 months for me. So I've changed jobs a few times (without their help). Sue me. They're gonna be getting a polite/rude letter about how disappointed I am that my school was happy to take thousands of dollars and years of my time for the degree, but they can't spare me half a frigging hour with a career counselor once I'm out the door. hmph. I'm tempted to complain to the administration and/or the state legislature, which funds the school. They probably won't care, but I'm pissed that a university whose job is partly to generate local workers is refusing to do their bit. I can get a job without them, but help would have been nice. Oh, and the rejection email sported at least two grammatical errors. WTF, it's a university and you're giving career advice and you can't even write a form email properly?? I scorn.
  7. BMI is fair as a weight guideline unless you are much taller or shorter than average, or you are extremely muscular (like, professional athlete muscles). It's just not super precise and gets less precise at the edges of the statistical curve. If you don't know a healthy weight for your height, you can ask your doctor, use BMI as a starting point, or find out from someone who has your gender, height and build and possesses the figure you want to have. By the way, unless you have a psych disorder or vision problems, your mirror is already telling you most of what you need to know about your weight. Don't stall around on improving your health habits just because you don't have an EXACT number certified by NASA and 5 independent engineers. Around here that is called "gathering underpants" and it's a waste of your time. Besides, the same adult human's weight varies up to 10 lbs a day depending on what they've eaten recently, hydration levels, hormones, bowel contents, etc. If you like how you look and feel, your weight is probably good. If you don't, you probably know whether you need to lose or gain weight. Get to it. Worry about details later.
  8. It sounds like you exercise pretty hard 4 days a week. Maybe the other 3 days should be gentler stuff like walking, swimming or yoga. Just a thought. Eat more veggies. All the veggies. The more veggies, the less room for crap in your diet. I love comfort food too, but you needn't fill your stomach with it, just have a small serving of it alongside something less rich. Which may mean that when you whip up brownies or mac and cheese, some of it goes into the freezer or into the hands of your coworkers. Are there any ethnic cuisines that interest you? A lot of "traditional" diets are very healthy and comforting, without the baggage of modern junk food.
  9. Try Airbnb! It's classier than hostels and slightly more expensive, but usually cheaper than a motel. You'll sleep in a real house or apartment. You can look at the listings, read reviews of the host, and check the map before you decide to book anything. The host sets the price, when you apply to stay with them your money is held in escrow, and the host will look at your info and decide whether they want you to stay with them. As another solo female traveler, I've used it a few times and had no complaints, the hosts were all quite nice and they even gave me things like souvenirs, discounts for feeding their pets, info about local sights, etc. Dorms are pretty safe, even the mixed kind, but you do have to watch your valuables, be able to tolerate noise, and if you sleep late, you'll have to wait in line for the bathroom. (If you get up early you can have the bathroom to yourself, unless everyone else there is going to some event that starts early.) The worst that I got in a hostel was some guy in the next bunk randomly grabbing my foot for some reason. I cussed him out and he left me alone after that. Don't travel with too many valuables, and keep them on your person at all times. A very cheap option is to "camp" in your vehicle. It's easier if you have a van or a truck with an enclosed bed, in which you can spread an inflatable mattress and rest flat. Park someplace well traveled (Wal-Mart allows overnight parking in its lots, I believe) and you should be fine, if anyone bugs you just lean on the horn (unless it's a cop, then sudden noises are a bad idea). Get a membership to a national gym chain (YMCA is cheapest) and you'll have access to showers in most cities. I have actually considered this as a lifestyle, but I'd really miss having a kitchen. One friend of mine is really into Couchsurfers, which I haven't tried but might be worth a look.
  10. I'd planned to sit on my new villainous scheme for getting a career, but for Father's Day I gave in and told my parents about the scheme. They were very happy and thought it sounded great. Now if I can just keep them from getting all up in my business, life will be fine. Today I made an appointment with my alma mater's career center to discuss how I can get my daydream job. (Not super-duper dream job, but one that I think I will kinda like, be good at, and pay my bills with while I'm waiting for the super-serum fairy to show up.) strangely feeling less scared this week. Perhaps due to the wonderful day I had with my folks, and basking in their approval for a change. Great! Must kick as much ass as possible while it lasts. also a temp job has turned up, which is good because it means I won't be homeless by the end of the summer. That gives me a bit more time to dig into permanent jobs.
  11. May the farts (not?) be with you Guz.
  12. Forgive me for asking the obvious, but is there a reason you can't use dinner leftovers for next day lunch? That's what a lot of lunch toting adults do.
  13. Yesterday I read an article by a woman who made it her goal to do one anxiety-provoking activity every day for a year. She said this helped her overcome many fears at a gradual pace. When I read this, something in my brain went "click." I thought of that worn old adage, "Do one thing every day that scares you," but that's very vague, and makes me think of things like jetting off to Thailand or walking a rope and board suspension bridge. Not super applicable to my daily existence. But anxiety provoking stuff? Hell, I live in a world FULL of that. I do not live in aworld of scary things, but I am surrounded by anxiety triggers. With a specific timeline like "365 days" the concept immediately gets more concrete. I like commitments with numbers attached. Numbers make it easy to tell if you're done or not. I have terrible issues with grading myself (doesn't everyone?) but data doesn't lie or flatter. It's just there. The worst part of anxiety is, the world gets smaller and smaller as I try to avoid things that scare me and the list just gets longer. The single biggest thing between me and the life of my dreams is the anxiety I feel when it comes to doing pretty much anything that will bring me closer to level 100 me. But after spending most of my adult life with it, it's starting to dawn on me that maybe my fear is never going away, it will always be there waiting to pounce. Perhaps I will never not feel it. I might as well update my definition of "happiness" to include "despite anxiety" instead of "not feeling anxious anymore", and get on with things I really want/need to do. So. I feel compelled to express up front my doubts that I will actually keep this up for 365 days, but each day I stand up to the demon is a day I get something useful done. Let it begin here. Today, I responded to a scary all-caps email from my part time boss requesting an overdue piece of paperwork. After setting a procrastination timer and taking many deep breaths, I completed and sent the desired form. Whew.