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About Raincloak

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  • Birthday 09/17/85

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  1. Dissassocation or something else?

    I think everybody gets that detached feeling once in a while. I get it too, though not about relationships. (For me, it's wondering if the physical situation I occupy is my "real" life, because I have so many other lives in books, movies, and my imagination. I think I spend more time out of the present than in it. Which makes my little daily problems seem very insignificant...) If you're happy with the way things are, by all means stick to the status quo. But, if one of your goals in life is to have a permanent partner, you might wanna consider letting go of your current, cause it sounds like this one is not The One. If she was, you'd know it. It's not about how you feel when picturing her with someone else. That's merely your ego being possessive of what it thinks you own. It's really about what you want for yourself. When you think about the future, does a life with her seem way, WAY better than the alternative? Or can you reasonably picture yourself being happy alone/with someone else? If the former, then buy a ring and find out where the courthouse is. If the latter, enjoy what you got while you got it, but maybe start moving towards the door. Nicely, of course. Don't start cheating or abusing her just to get rid of her, but give signals that you're ready to move on. If she does not respond similarly, then you'll have to have a talk. Bear in mind that keeping someone you don't love is not just inconvenient for you, it prevents the other person from finding true happiness as well. So you might be doing both of you a favor by rethinking this.
  2. Random Thoughts of Randomness

    That Disturbed cover got a grammy recently, I believe. I like it better than the original, but the S&G version has a wistful '60s sort of charm.
  3. Training With only Guys Lowered Confidence

    You don't have to train with them. I wouldn't care to train with my brother, because there's far too much emotional baggage between us. When we were 15, we could hardly stand to be in the same room with each other, let alone run or lift weights together. if you must train with your bro and boyfriend, then make your peace with the fact that bodies are not exchangeable and the one you're living in is just fine. You don't need to be stronger than your training partner. if you were, you'd be slacking! It's good to have a partner who is a little bit better than you, to encourage you to push yourself. Teenage boys normally have the appetite and energy of a fusion reactor. There's no point in envying them. They are what they are, and you are what you are. They'll stop eating so much and growing so fast in a few years, but right now they're dripping with androgens and that makes them pretty strong. This is simply the way of nature. Don't be jealous. Being a girl has its perks, too. I get tired out on hikes faster than my mom, who is twice my age. (She's a cycling fanatic with a naturally thinner frame and longer legs than me. I'm no couch potato, but I also don't feel compelled to bike 20 miles of steep hills several times a week.) I try not to let it worry me. It's not a competition, we're just out there to enjoy the hike.
  4. What made you smite today?

    Ugh. I had so many useful things I needed to do today and instead when I got off work, I picked up groceries and proceeded to spend the rest of the day eating snacks, playing a pointless app game, and arguing with some dood on facespace about the ethics of punching Nazis. (He says it's acceptable, I say it's immature and stupid.) I blame brain fog due to a sleep problem that turned up a few weeks ago and isn't going away, probably some cocktail of my shitty bed that needs a mattress, my 7-day work schedule, and inconsistent use of daily meds cause my bleeping insurance is on the fritz. Adulting, I smite it.