Raincloak

Sure, why not. Congratulations, here's your Disney Villain card and your billowy black cloak. Musical numbers, special effects, and evil cackle to be supplied by user. I respect wasps too, provided they stay far, far away from me (bees are okay up close). I really gotta get back to work on my Evil Overlady resume...

Important: water conducts heat very efficiently, but only if the heat has somewhere to go. To pull heat away from you, the water must be: 1) evaporating, or 2) colder than your skin. If you sit around in wet clothes on a hot day, and the water is NOT evaporating, all you've done is given yourself a soggy humidity wrap which will quickly warm to body temp, and then keep you at that temp. This is why athletes wear "wicking" and "fast drying" fabrics, and why dry heat is easier to tolerate than humid heat. Do not wear clothes that dry slowly, such as cotton. The best parts to chill if you want to stay cool are your head, throat, groin, hands, and feet. Those are areas where your body naturally increases circulation when it wants to cool down. Try putting a wet towel in the fridge, and then put it on your feet or your neck. Open the windows at night so the house can cool down. Close them first thing in the morning to keep the cool air in. Keep the curtains closed during the day.

I had minor dental surgery once (extracted a deep rooted upper wisdom tooth) and they said don't try to suppress sneezes or close your mouth when you sneeze for a couple weeks. Cause, the pressure might blow a nasal fistula. I was very careful of that little hole in my head until it healed. Don't want an opening between my nasal cavity and my mouth! Ewwww.

I dunno, if I got drugged and kidnapped by an older, creepier version of me, I might refuse to buy the lotto ticket just to screw with her. Or no, wait, I've got it: buy the ticket, enjoy the money for a while, then give away what's left. Then all she'll get are memories. I dunno I'm in a weird mood okay.

I like the idea of using Nintendo characters for "Alice and Bob," gotta try that next time I'm in an argument

update: dadboss expressed dire outrage at the idea, the very IDEA that I wanted more money. Or paid vacation. Or health insurance. Or, you know, the kind of stuff everyone else in the building (including the new girl who's been there like 4 months and spends half her time watching Youtubes on her phone) is getting from THEIR bosses. I think getting a new job is gonna be worth it just to see the look on my current's face when I tell him I'm quitting.

That sounds like a terrific vacation, I'm jealous. Speakimg of vacations, I'm Having Talks with my dadboss re: he's not paying me enough. Adulting is hard, but I think I'm getting better at it, and he's finally made me mad enough to do something about it. (We just wrapped a project that netted him $300,000... and for my promised bonus, he gave me a whopping $1k. For comparison, an expert who spent two weeks on the case just took home $16k, and I've been working on it for two years.)

I cut my own hair today because I've had it up to here with stylists charging me a bunch of money and STILL NOT CUTTING IT LIKE I ASKED. (grrr) I just want it short and layered in back, angled to long in front, with bangs. Not. That. Hard. Turned out pretty well, considering I have no training and it's hard to get a decent angle on the sides of my own head. I have experimented with trimming my hair before and I'm definitely getting better with practice.

anecdotally, my weight's been pretty normal my entire life; I was a slightly thin teenager and became a slightly curvy adult. My periods have been what I would qualify as somewhat heavy, with agonizing cramps, the whole time. I also have pretty short, slightly irregular cycles. I suppose larger women might bleed more than smaller women because their proportions are all bigger, but I think it varies a lot more by individual (genetics and hormones) than by outer body size. Even if you gain/lose fat or muscle, your internal organs aren't getting noticeably bigger or smaller. as for the state of US education, don't get me staaaarted. People here literally think teaching kids about sex is a violation of their religion. And I used to have a job in a furniture store, where we had to deal with numerous people who were too stupid to measure their door before ordering a sofa......

I still hate my job. Woke up simmering with rage at the thought of going to work. The daily news re: our government continuing its alarming careen towards fascism did not improve my mood. I don't even know how I made it to to the end of my shift, a lot of staring hopelessly at screens was involved. Which means I still have more rage-inducing minutiae crap to do tomorrow. Oh yeah, and a bunch of bills and taxes are due/overdue. I remain pissed off as hell at the universe in general. And I'm pissed at climate change, and at getting old. I dunno which is worse, watching my planet melt and die before my eyes, or knowing I won't be here to see the endgame in 70 or 80 years. life's a bitch today. Deep breaths aren't helping a lot. I'm tired of helping and worrying about everyone but me, I want like a week or two off so I can do stuff for ME. Guess a few mins for exercise and meditation will have to do...

because it feels so good when you stop

Years ago one of my parents surprised the other for their anniversary with a weekend trip to Las Vegas. Mom got a sitter and told Dad to pack for an overnight stay (they were doing "local hotel to get away from kids" routine), but instead of driving to a nearby hotel, she drove to the airport. Then he surprised HER on the flight with a sapphire ring he'd gotten for her present. They say it was one of the last times they managed to really surprise each other, they've been together so long now they know too much for surprises. I would say: know your spouse. I would consider being given a dress and told to wear it too domineering (frankly it feels like a scene out of "50 Shades of Grey"), plus I don't trust anyone to buy me clothes that I like and can fit in. Even less with shoes. But some people do like to be surprised with new clothes.... Alternatively, take a dress of hers and get it dry cleaned, then present it in the bag looking like new. Personally I would rather get the note and have it say "dress nice, we're going someplace fancy." I have a couple nice (rarely used) dresses in the closet, I'll just wear something I already have.

Scones are a bit firmer with a lot more crumble. You make them by piling up the ingredients in a heap. Biscuits are fluffy, soft like cotton candy inside, more of flaky layers than crumbs. You make them by rolling and folding (or, for a lot of us, by opening a can). You can tear up a biscuit and use it to mop the gravy, a scone would be too crumbly. BUT you can spread chunky jam on a scone without squishing it, unlike the biscuit which is so soft and airy. Still, yeah, they are preeeetty close in general "breadlike thing with lots of fat in it, eaten as a snack" terms. Neither is a roll. A roll is a tiny bread. Ah nvm here's a foodie rant from those famous experts on down-home English and US Southern food*, Conde Nast... http://www.bonappetit.com/recipes/article/scone-is-not-a-biscuit * kidding, Conde Nast is for rich white people and I read em anyway thankyouverymuch Poutine is bleeping delicious, it's like super nachos, only with fries instead of ... tortilla crisps (? What do Brits call a tortilla chip? Please tell me you know what that is, at least.)

Years ago I visited my English kin and was getting ready to leave the next day, so I bought some snacks for the flight including a bag of potato chips. They asked if I had food and I said yeah, I have a bag of chips. They got very weird/disgusted looks on their faces until I amended hastily: "Crisps! I mean a bag of crisps." They thought I was going to be eating day old French fries...

She went to the doc, baby appears ok, but is continuing to complain of injuries and is treating them at home. Apparently no specialists. Whether she called a lawyer is anyone's guess.

my pregnant friend was like, "I was in a car accident and I'm bruised from the airbag and my ear is ringing but I'm fine" her other friends "omg glad you're okay!" me: "Stop saying you're fine, you just described at least two injuries and a totaled car. Go to the doc and then call a lawyer stat" guess whose comment isn't getting liked... oh well

I thought everyone knew that, but guess what everyone doesn't know: that the monthly pill packs include a week of placebos just to make you bleed! I still remember explaining that to a guy friend a couple years ago (hence why I normally tossed the pack after 3 weeks). He was astonished and I didn't blame him, it's bleeping ridiculous to pay for a prescription drug that comes in 4-week packs where literally 1/4 of the pills you're buying are duds. This is one of the many reasons we still need feminism. Etc.

in my experience you can make a few pennies at home doing stuff like clicking thru surveys or writing ad copy, but it's not even minimum wage, so you might be better off just looking for a job that pays more or turning one of your hobbies to profit. If you can do it online from home without special training, they can get people in China to do it way cheaper. People who actually make a living online seem to have a special skill (eg, making software, reading medical images) or a personal brand (eg, bloggers) that can't be outsourced. Snowshoeing is this thing where you strap tennis rackets to your feet, and it spreads out your weight so you can walk on top of the snow without sinking in, like a lynx (or an elf). Then you go for a hike. It was invented by Native Americans.

re kids crying when they see you, don't take it personally. It's probably them, not you. For all you know, the last guy wearing your uniform took the kid's toy to the trash, or was a villain in a movie they just saw, or god knows what. Don't sweat it. Nobody acts normal in a hospital anyway. Everyone there, including the staff, is either stressed to hell, deranged, or unconscious.

I got a nice haircut today but it was kind of expensive, unsure whether to be smug about self care or try to cheap out (again) next time... it's nice to not have shitty looking hair and supporting local business FTW but I don't want my hair to cost more than a restaurant dinner. Ah, adulting is hard

you're ahead of me, most weeks I consider the "clean in basket" stage an accomplishment. I'm beginning to think it's time to get a life partner, been rocking the single life forever but it's not as fun as it used to be.

I always kinda wanted an ice cream truck. But I wouldn't play those annoying jingles. I'd, like, sell frozen cocktails and play some heavy metal to let everyone know I'm in the neighborhood

maybe toys only come to life if you love them... oh wait the first movie had a whole vending machine full of little aliens who had never been owned best not to think about it too hard I guess. I found the ending of TS3 sad. The little girl will outgrow the toys someday just like Andy did... so then what?

oh, good timing. Fitness: Take a walk every day, unless it's pouring rain. If it's pouring, 10 mins of calisthenics and stretching. Nutrition: Frequent intake of soup, veggies and tea. This will decrease the volume allotted to treats and ensure adequate hydration. Lifestyle: already set goals with my shrink. For bonus points, also try my new meditation app at least 3 times

watching the prez crash the stock market is such a bummer when I just put money in like two weeks ago. Bye-bye money, was nice having you... oh well, it'll come back sooner or later