iatetheyeti

Just catching up, and I am happy to hear that your mum is doing alright and the tests are good. Hopefully that will very much continue to be the case!

It's been a while since I've been around here! Gotta say, catching up with Wraith and Latte's failed sexcapades has made my morning, it's genuinely hilarious, though I don't envy you having to deal with that in-person, so to speak. This genuinely warms my heart. I'm so happy that your sister has an understanding and supportive family, and it's wonderful to know that this place has had such a positive impact on you in that regard as well

Sometimes it's all that we can do, and it's certainly been all I've been able to do for a little while now. But it's good to know you're still alive! And hey, can't complain about having some more narrative up either. Just you keep looking after yourself.

???? I think my laptop is at death's door. Going to have to see how payday treats me, because I am rapidly losing patience. Other than that, today's been alright. More work. More knee and ankle pain. Will do a proper update and catch-up tomorrow, just trying not to fall off track in the meantime.

W?D? Another teeny tiny update to keep myself accountable. I'm getting a little better at this willpower thing, even made myself a proper dinner after getting in when all I wanted to do was, well, not that. But good food is key, so that is an area worth spending some willpower on. Not much else to report at the moment, though there is good news in that apparently my ex has agreed to stay away from me for the time being. I can only hope she actually sticks to that... Rest planned for tonight. Yesterday's walk home brought back the knee pain, but that was to be expected given the weight I'm currently carrying around. So no walk home tonight, but I'm hoping to get another one in tomorrow should my knees cooperate. they kinda have to, because that's the only way the excess weight is gonna go... And to end on a positive note, I did manage to reconnect with someone I haven't spoken to in a long while, which was nice, and we've made plans to get together in the near future in a Covid-safe kind of way. So I've got that to look forward too.

W?D? Quick update. I'm exhausted, but that's mostly down to shark week being shark week. I also had an appointment with the local mental health nurse and she's encouraged by the way I'm handling things. She gave me a handful of places and resources to check out for further help and support, so that'll be my project for the next few days. Next day off is Friday, so chances are that's when I'll be able to catch up with everyone around here.

You're right (all of you!), and so long as I keep that in mind and keep pushing forward, I'll be ok. And you're right on the second count as well, I do have a whole lot of good in my life and that includes a lot of wonderful people. Thank you so much

I'd much rather have been with you guys than where I was. And hey, this coming Sunday I'll be there!

W?D? I'm trying to at least keep on track with updating here, though that itself is proving difficult right now. Not only with recent events, but I've now been hit with shark week and I have so many feelings and none of them are the happy kind. So my check-in tonight is to say I am alive. I'll catch up with folks tomorrow.

I really want to say the worst has passed, but I'm actually afraid of jinxing things... You're telling me! I have a whole lot of work to do now, but to be fair, this is an interesting direction they've decided on.

Thanks It definitely feels like it. I think on some level I was expecting it to feel like my last breakup, but then that was after only a few months of an incredibly unhealthy and destructive relationship. This is... more. Not entirely sure how to deal with it. Fortunately I have got an appointment to speak to a professional about this sort of thing, and it's soon.

W?D? Slept terribly last night. It was fine for about four hours, then I woke up and just could not get back to sleep again. So I got up for a couple of hours and puttered about, then went back to bed. Got a few more hours, but the next time I woke up I was just as exhausted. Still. I got up, I drank coffee, I took my meds, and I sat down to run a D&D session. Now, I had a few different plans for this one, but I got to use approximately none of them as my players decided to befriend a dragon and use him to fix their problem about two sessions earlier than I expected. Said dragon is now a member of their party and I need to make a whole new set of plans... Afterwards I did some rearranging and discovered I need more bookcases. It's been a quite sort of day. I feel... I don't know how to describe it. Lost, I guess. Like I'm losing grip on what drive I had, though I'm still trying to hold on and push ahead. I don' know. Regardless, I'm taking an early night in an effort to get some sleep before work tomorrow.

First of all, if restrictions would allow, I would travel down south for a hug right now. And second of all, if it wasn't for speaking to you about it then I'd have never had the confidence to start DMing, so don't sell yourself short!

Yeah, I didn't think much when I wrote that first post. It was only later that I realised how that must have looked... I definitely wasn't thinking clearly there. It was rough, it still is, but you are right that it was for the best. And I really hope you're right about the upcoming job change. I need it...

I appreciate you saying so. It's difficult to let go of the self-blame, but I'm hoping I'll be able to in time. Appreciate that guys, and yes, I'm sleeping ok. Weirdly I'm actually sleeping really well, but I need it, so I can't complain about that at all.

Well hey, I was right, she is absolutely adorable!

You know something? I'd love it to be just a tantrum. Unfortunately it's a little more serious than that. And she's throwing it out there in full force right now. You're right. It's easier to see what happened and when looking back on it, but at the time? Whatever I did notice was just brushed away. I have to admit that I don't like it, but right now it does help that I actually don't want to be around her. As much as I can't switch my feelings off, I don't want to be around her right now. As for the explosion... Yeah. I'm bracing behind as big a barrier as I can build.

Don't suppose you want to hire an inept handyperson to help with said list...? (I accept any payment form including food and a warm place to sleep!)

Hey! Just dropping by to check how things are going for you

This is a feeling I know and love. Here's hoping for more sun to come your way!

Those feelings are rough to endure, that's for sure. You aren't alone, so if you need to reach out, reach out, you know where to find me. Equally, if taking a step back is what you need to do then do it. You have to be your own first priority. Do what you need to do to recover and know that we have your back.

It's exciting to see all these little progression notes being added to your list!

It's great to see things have been going so well for you. And I agree with Tank, Eamon definitely sounds at least part Ranger! I'm sure little Soji looks adorable, but all I can see is a grey stop sign

Hey, just caught up and let me tell you I am so very, very happy for you. R sounds wonderful, and it's great to hear you so bright and optimistic

That is indeed the word, thanks! And yeah, they really are. Thanks I agree, if I allow her contact now then all it's going to be doing is reinforcing that all she has to do to get what she wants is what she's been doing. The words 'emotional blackmail' have been said by quite a few people at this point.