iatetheyeti

Unfortunately it's getting worse. She very badly needs help and yet won't accept it, so there are a few folks acting as very careful go-betweens to ensure things don't blow up in a bad way. The guys are also advocating for me to have time and space and for her to stay away, not that she's listening so far. Appreciate that, thank you

It isn't too soon to say so, I kind of thought that as soon as she'd left. Honestly, that's another sucker punch in a series of sucker punches, but that doesn't stop it from being true. In the moment a lot of it was instinct, and they were screaming at me. She's far from the first person to try that sort of thing on me, and while I may have realised too late, I realised soon enough to save myself even more pain down the line. It hurts, but I keep reminding myself that it could have been a whole lot worse. Thanks

W?D? Alright, so a brief summary of end of relationship drama things: Essentially what happened was that I found out she had been lying to me for the entirety of our relationship about something major, and essentially we'd built our relationship on that lie, and many others besides. When I asked her to explain it she continued lying to me despite me having proof of it, then tried to shift the blame onto me. It wasn't an easy decision to end it, but it was the right one. This was proved to me when she turned up unannounced. I was on the phone with @Rhovaniel at the time, and asked her to stay on the line for moral support. In the end I did hang up as I didn't want to subject her to what I knew was coming, but later on I was told she'd heard enough to worry for my safety. The argument that followed was not pleasant. She lied, tried to put the blame on me, tried to guilt trip and emotionally manipulate me into staying with her, tried to provoke me to hit her, and ended up pulling an alarmingly stalker-like move of refusing to leave. I did not want to physically force her out for a number of reasons, so I took my phone out and quite obviously started dialling the police. I got to two 9s before she called me a fucking bitch and left. I've now blocked her on social media and blocked her phone number as more than once the words 'I won't give up' left her and that combined with her behaviour worried me deeply. But I dealt with it far better than I anticipated. Yes, there were a lot of tears, there is anger and hurt and pain, but whereas in the past I know full well I would hide away and isolate myself, the first thing I did when it happened was call a friend. And today I've been talking to people about it and letting myself feel my emotions. I've also kept myself reasonably busy. Making a tiny little veg garden on my kitchen window sill, rearranging my bedroom so I actually have room to move about in there, putting up a motivational mirror of sorts. And I've eaten and hydrated well. Though I may feel like shit on a shovel, I'm coping. And if I tell myself I will continue to do so, then I just might actually continue to do so.

Honestly, I am incredibly grateful for the support I've gotten from my friends and from others. I doubt I'd be handling it as well as I am without that. In fact, I'm sure of it.

And hey, I love my friends very much

Thank you I would much rather have settled things amicably, but that ceased to be an option pretty quickly. Still, I have to keep telling myself that I did the right thing, that the pain will fade, and despite this one person in my life turning out to be so toxic, I have an incredible network of friends that I am so very grateful to have in my life.

Thank you so much guys I know, logically I know, it just feels like I've been punched in the gut by it all, and the realisations afterwards as well. I appreciate that, thank you so much ❤️ Thank you ❤️ It was pretty scary, I didn't think she was capable of that sort of behaviour, but it's becoming clearer and clearer that I didn't actually know her all that well. Thank you, I appreciate you saying so Thank you so much for saying so, and I really do appreciate the support you guys are giving me

I did have plans for my days off. Rather than those, however, what I actually had was a messy break-up that ended in me actually dialling the police before she would leave my home. Fortunately she did so before anything even more drastic had to happen, but that was a shit-show I had never hoped to be a part of. And if you'd told me about it a few days ago, I'd have laughed. But things can go wrong very quickly, and when they do, and they force you to look back over the whole relationship... I feel like such an idiot for not seeing the red flags. And now, well... I don't know, I really don't.

I'll send you an invite to the server over Discord Me too!

W1D6 I may have slept soundly last night, but I am absolutely exhausted right now. Mostly because I have spent a lot of time interacting with people. I ran my homebrew campaign in the morning, introducing Mr Gooner and apparently freaking my players out with the turn the game took! And in the evening I joined a new campaign for the first time, the Nighthaven campaign, playing an aloof, bookish wild magic sorcerer who is the opposite of my Ranger D&D character, axe-happy barbarian Scoria! But most goals have been met for the day. I'll give a proper update tomorrow.

This makes me very happy! Just send me your Discord details and I will get you into the server and send you the DNDBeyond campaign link.

Right?! I did sleep, and wonderfully so. Hey, if you want to join, by all means please do! You joining will not be excluding anyone else. I've got a lot more planned for the future, and if folks express interest after this particular one is full, there are options. Trust me, you won't be pushing anyone out and I would be very happy to welcome you in I am still sleepy! But I did sleep. Pretty much as soon as I hit the pillow, actually, which is not normal for me! I am indeed reading this after roughly nine hours of sleep whilst sipping on my coffee! I reckon today will be good. I'm running a D&D game in just over an hour, then later on I have my first session of the newest campaign I've joined. Unfortunately tomorrow I'm working, which means I miss my regular Ranger D&D. Heh, can you sense a theme here? And hey, by all means, if you want to join up, please do! I'm always happy to help out where things might be shiny new and confusing, and there are a couple of other folks already on the server (part of my other campaign) who are new to the game too, so you won't be alone there.

W1D5 I am slightly deceased, but I'm sure I'll be ok. I haven't actually slept in two days and I'm going a little loopy. This isn't because I have purposefully avoided sleep, it just has not happened for me, unfortunately. So, stuff happened today, but I'm not entirely sure what... I did have a nice cheeseburger and salad for dinner though, so that's something. And I've managed to recruit a second player for the PbP, which makes me very happy. I think I might have some dairy-free ice cream still in my freezer too, so I'm going to investigate that, devour if it's there, and then let it settle before seeking out sleep. Hopefully tomorrow I will be a little more with it...

10 hours of sleep sounds amazing, it truly does! And I'm hoping the weather turns nice and mild for you ASAP...

We all have our crabby days, it will pass and you'll feel in better spirits soon enough, I would hope

I love your new home! And I'm sure it's going to be so much better when you've fixed it up the way you want it Admittedly I'm envious of your project house...

Aside from the usual morning grouchiness, she's doing a lot better. I hope work goes well too! It's a short shift, so it should be alright. PbP is play by post, which is a handy way of continuously running a game when everyone is in a different time zone and has differing work and life commitments.

That's great! Feel free to shoot me a PM with your Discord info and I can set you up on the server and with the campaign link She is doing better now, and I will let her know, thanks

You won't have to commit a massive amount of time to it. I know a lot of people are swamped with work and other things right now. I think maybe two or three posts per week from folks? Obviously less if things are super busy. I want this to be an escape of sorts for people, not an added pressure!

She's doing a lot better now, thankfully. Heh, I'm starting to think I may have to widen my net searching for PbP folks! But I am happy that so many are interested in the one-shot idea

Right?!

Thanks I do try my best to be so anyway.

W1D4 Today started off as a regular day, and then Sunshine showed up after what we're going to call something of a crisis. So things haven't gone to plan today, but that's fine, I'd rather be there for my partner when she needs me. Eating has been pretty much on target, and so has creativity. I spent most of the morning doing D&D stuff, mostly writing things for my homebrew campaign and trying to keep pulling things together for my PbP. Aaand tomorrow it's back to work.

Yes, exactly. That just makes for an incredibly dangerous situation.

Alright. Alright. So when I have the money, I get myself a bike license, get myself a bike (or hire one...), and join you on a tour, yes? Yes. Wonderful! Glad we sorted that out