CaffeineMan

Okay, firstly thank you for your concern. I appreciate what you're saying and I understand where you're coming from. I'm fully aware of the nature and scope of my disorder, and my wife is currently pursuing treatment appropriate to hers. I'm hesitant to pursue the same line of treatment due to my own history WRT effective treatments (i.e. their aren't any which are both effective and that I am comfortable with.)

Okay so right now I'm in an extreme low and as well as not actually improving at all, I'm seriously backsliding (energy drinks, candy bars, etc.) Apologies in advance for my negativity. It doesn't feel conscious in that I don't have a conversation "I should get up and do something" v. "I just want to stay in bed," More like, I just don't get up and do it. I want to do more and be more active, do something I enjoy. I can't balance that against the fact that of the things I've tried in the past (I won't say I've tried everything, but...) weren't interesting, entertaining, or satisfying to me.I don't feel like I'm trading up between something I enjoy vs. something I don't enjoy, but more like I'm trading up doing nothing at all vs. doing something I don't enjoy. Right now I feel like I'm moving through my life with no goal, no interests, and literally no source of joy in my life. So that sucks. And yet even fully comprehending that knowledge I am not doing anything to improve the situation. So yeah that really sucks.

Today was an on-day. Ultimately I've been completely unable to make any changes so far.

I have not done any work outs or extra activity on my off-days at all.

Okay, quick update, woke up fully intending to work out, didn't. Went out for lunch, then to work. Topped out around 10k steps again.

Woke up, signed for some packages, walked to Poundland (Dollar store - about 3k steps there & back,) came home.

I got up today with every intention of working out. Didn't.

Somehow, swinging a sledgehammer around in a tightly enclosed space does not seem like a a good idea.

I like the idea in principle, but there is literally nowhere in the house that could accomodate two people working out, period, regardless of furniture etc. We don't have much but we have even less space. Sadly we have very different fitness interests and needs, she enjoys step aerobics/music & motion, stationary bike, that kind of cardio with music, whereas I have zero interest in any physical activity period. Also she has bad joints so long walks are painful. Like I say I like the idea but I feel it's not something I can work into any time soon.

Sorry all I hit a new low on my energy levels the other day and right now I'm having a lot of trouble getting through my day as normal But yeah right now, nothing to report. Right now I can't articulate just what's putting me off any particular activities, aside from the my overall lack of interest generally. Okay 300 reps was an exaggeration, what I mean is that there's a line and I find that exercising in that circumstance is more self-harm than self-improvement.

Yes, doing 300 bad bicep curls and not being able to lift my arms the next day is counterproductive.

I have to admit I've done the first thing - exercising until the feeling goes - but it only leaves me sore and doesn't put me anywhere because I end up doing one exercise badly until I injure myself rather than actually doing things properly. And I really prefer being behind the camera. So like I say, I haven't done any formalised workouts this week, only staying active with extra work. Hitting about 14K steps when I was out on friday and today, easy 10k at work, but I think I cracked 2k at home on Thursday. I don't think I'll have time to do anything tomorrow, by the time I get home from work, using the hallway I can exercise in will be interrupted too often, but I should be able to fit in workouts on other days. I'm very hesitant to start another Battle Thread because I don't feel that there's any point in logging what I'm doing, especially since I'm not doing anything with any regularity.

I haven't done a formalised workout this week as I've been working extra - somehow hours of walking and lifting doesn't bother me when it's "work" rather then "play" Madde 11k steps Sunday, 19k yesterday and 14k today so that's all good. Say I was aiming for something like the One Arm Pushup, what kind of plan should I be working from?

Also I'd like to point out that what I'm categorising as "lazy days" are just days when I'm not at work, not days when I need to handle any other commitments in my life.

Sadly it's pretty random, I could work 10 days on, 1 day off, 2 days on, 3 days off. There's no consistency. I'm not interested in running but I've heard good things about Zombies! Run.

I like the concept but I don't have a consistent weekend, or even a consistent work week which cuts me out of the "active week, lazy weekend" mode and more into a randomised "active day, active day, active day, lazy day, active day, active day, lazy day, lazy day, active day, etc" mode. It's also difficult for me to schedule things in advance, such as hikes etc. because I don't know my work week more than 2-3 weeks in advance. The worst part is that some days I just don't have time to do anything but work, since I could be out of the house for work from 8am to 10pm. Like I say I don't run period so I don't know if it's worth my while putting money out on the assumption that I'll use it at some point in the future. As far as skills I'd like... Nothing comes to mind at all.

I actually set my (new phone's) pedometer to 10k steps a day. A day at work just about tops me out, but a day at home means I won't break 2k. I'm looking at Zombies! Run! but I'm pretty reticent about getting it since I don't generally go out to walk/run or listen to music.

Okay so today I tried out the Beginner Body Weight Routine rather than the Angry Birds. I made it through one set, so that's at least a beginning. Right now I've been using Rooster Teeth podcasts just because they're distracting and take up enough time. And to be honest, I don't realy like photography in general, I enjoy the convention photography, cosplayers, etc. Unfortunately I don't have any events lined up until next March. As far as increasing activity overall, I don't drive generally. When I take public transport, I usually clock in about 30-45 minutes of walking. On an average day out of the house, I'd say I clock in 4-5k steps easily.

Okay so I got up today and did a couple sets - two sets to failure of push ups, squats, plank, & body weight row, and then a short wall plank after. I feel... Empty would be the best descriptor at this point. 1: To be honest I've never an interest in exercise itself. I was never an active kid and I didn't take part in sports at the high school level either. Last year I started exercising as a means to an end, rather than out of an interest in the activity itself. 2: I just got bored, really. 3: I wouldn't say a negative emotion, but rather than it doesn't invoke any positive feeling or emotion.

I'd say that I'm the opposite, in that I'm very antisocial. I find it easier to stick to a workout when I don't have to deal with other people. Having looked at personal trainers in the past, it's very much been a matter of, once I paid the gym fees, paying the same again for one-on-one coaching wasn't feasible. Plus, I found it very off-putting from a beginner's point of view. Sadly I don't have an interest in any activity, generally. Having tried martial arts in the past I found that a lack of ability tended towards a growing lack of interest.

Okay so I took some time away to think about the thread and the problem and come back from a more constructive and positive point of view. So I'll start by defining the problem in and of itself: (Aside from anything else) I would like to increase my fitness. I can go back to my at-home, body-weight routines, however, I don't find them enjoyable and as such I find it difficult to maintain a commitment to exercise and fitness as a whole because it feels like a particularly uncomfortable chore. Goal-wise I have none, with the act of fitness being a means to an abstract goal rather than forming part of a tangible goal. So if there is one question I would like to present above all others, it would be what are some good activities for the exercise-averse? I'd say that exercising at home makes me feel more like Oldboy, in that it feels less part of a plan for vengeance, and more like a resignation to captivity.

So I just hopped up and did 20 pushups (2 sets to failure) and right now I feel bored more than anything, well, bored and uncomfortable. It has definitely put me in the mood for a nap.

That's very much my thinking, the only issue is that I don't find *any* exercise enjoyable, so it seems moot to try any one exercise at any one time. I have to admit, that one peaked my interest, I will need to email them and see how they go about recruitment, etc.

Well, okay, if I was being more negative and more critical, I'd say that this is the least I can do before writing myself off entirely - "Hey, these guys couldn't help me, so there's nothing I can do, better give up on that" Being less critical, if I had to define a goal for this thread, it was very much to buoy myself against the idea that I should just write myself off completely, that there's nothing I could possibly do other than what I do now (which is nothing.) With all cards on the table, I have to admit that currently, clinical depression is kicking my ass and I'm going nuts because I feel like I do nothing with my time and yet I feel like I have no time at all. What I want to do is find a hobby, or find an activity that I can do to keep myself occupied rather that sitting online all day & night and falling deeper down. I really am thankful for everyone's input, and I know it's very frustrating to see nothing but pure negativity in return but at this point, rather than feeling like I can't change, I'd describe it as, I can't see how to make things happen, or see the positives of anything. I just feel like starting ANYTHING at this point involves an insurmountable wall, whether it be time, money, access, or just interest. In regards the specifics of hiking, I can imagine the positives, being that it's good exercise, it's not just around the house, doesn't have to be a group activity or involve too much equipment, but all I can see myself are the negatives; it's outdoors, it's difficult to get to, it seems boring (to me) and one of the big draws - the nature, the view, the landscape - holds no interest to me.

I own a bike but I've never actually been able to ride. I tried to learn many many times when I was younger and at this point it doesn't seem worth it to try and learn now with that history of failure?